Title: In the Quiet
Author: kaly
Category: angst, smarm
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Parings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1700
Rating: G
Spoilers: DW 4x12 TSE, DW 4x13 Journey's End
Summary: After chaos ends, peace - however temporary - can begin.
Note: A kinda-sorta companion to my fic "His Part to Play". Thanks to ndannais for the beta.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing. All hail the BBC and RTD.
In the Quiet
It had been a long day, since Jack had returned with both Martha and Mickey in tow. There had followed hectic hours filled with reunions and introductions and cleaning up the mess wrought by Dalek and Doctor alike. But finally, as the clock ticked closer to midnight, Gwen left for home and Rhys. Some time earlier, both Martha and Mickey had found their way to a nearby hotel that was still open, even after the chaos.
Only then, with peace and relative quiet in the Hub, did Ianto let himself collapse onto the couch and simply stop. Stop moving. Stop thinking. Just stop. So much had happened, it was almost too much to take in.
The nearly-silent scrape of Jack's shoes on the hard floor caught his attention, and Ianto looked up to find his lover standing there, just out of reach. However, it wasn't Ianto that Jack was staring at, but rather then half-ruined cog door where the now-ruined Dalek had last stood.
"If I had known..." Jack finally said, breaking the silence with an equally broken whisper. It seemed that being allowed time to just be had finally caught up to Jack as well.
Ianto reached out his hand to Jack, waiting patiently until the other man met his gaze and took it. Smiling - though not, it was little more than a slight tilt of his lips - Ianto pulled on Jack's hand, until they were seated side by side on the couch. He pressed his shoulder to Jack's, and replied, "We didn't want you to know." He thought for a moment before clarifying, "I didn't want you to know."
Jack sighed, and Ianto hated how it so often sounded like he carried - far too willingly, in Ianto's opinion - the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Ianto..."
"You had your part to play, Jack," Ianto said, squeezing Jack's hand. "You had to save the world, no less. And he needed you there - not trapped here." Ianto was pleased to find he could speak the words and truly mean them. The jealousy he had known for The Doctor for so long was suddenly missing.
In a rare gesture, Jack laid his head on Ianto's shoulder, pressing his face against the other man's neck. Ianto felt more than heard Jack's stuttering breath, and wrapped his free arm around Jack's shoulders. And then he waited. Ianto knew that Jack would speak when he was ready. When you had all the time in the universe, some things were allowed to take a little longer.
"I would've never forgiven myself," Jack finally said, the words muffled by Ianto's skin, causing Ianto to shiver. Jack took another shaky breath, and added, "If I'd come back and both of you had been gone... After Owen and Tosh, if I'd lost you, too..." The words trailed off, empty air hanging between them.
Ianto threaded his fingers through Jack's hair, relishing in the familiar feeling. Losing Jack hadn't truly been an option - Ianto had been certain Jack would return unscathed. Though if he was honest with himself, and he had been less than certain Jack would stay with them... Well, Ianto would never voice that fear aloud.
All the same, and maybe because of that, the quiet and familiarity of the moment together was something to be cherished, committed to memory just in case. "We're not gone, Jack," he finally said. "We're both alive. Safe. As are you, I was very happy to see."
"Thanks to Tosh," Jack said, purposefully ignoring the last comment, Ianto had no doubt.
Smiling, Ianto nodded as his eyes misted over for a moment. "Yes," he replied in a voice roughened by tears that wouldn't fall. "Thanks to Tosh."
Somewhere overhead, Ianto heard Myfanawy stirring, and he found himself oddly thankful that their entire, if broken, little family had escaped this latest threat intact. It wouldn't be quite the same without her, their complicated past or no. They had already lost so much - too much. He couldn't bear the thought of losing more so soon.
Jack pulled back then. Ianto saw him wince, his fingers having pulled at his hair at the unexpected motion. "You knew," he said, his abruptly voice hard. "You knew and you still let me go."
Unable, or rather unwilling, to lie, Ianto nodded. "Yes."
"And when you said you'd be fine?" he pressed, his eyes seeming to glow a brighter shade of blue.
Shrugging painfully, Ianto forced himself to meet Jack's accusing gaze. "I lied." He hated admitting to it, even if he still stood by his decision. Some betrayals were easier to stomach than others. Those that helped save the people he loved, all the more.
He was surprised, to say the least, when Jack seemed to deflate suddenly. "And yet you didn't. Not really. Your face..." Jack touched Ianto's cheek with the backs of his fingers, his expression as open as Ianto could remember seeing. "The truth was there, if I'd just stopped long enough to see it."
"You weren't looking for it," Ianto said, offering absolution if only Jack would take it. "I was counting on that, I think."
Jack shook his head, dropping his hand to his lap. "I should've been. I should've taken you both with me. I would've, you know - if I'd known."
"Our place is at Torchwood, Jack. Both Gwen and I knew that."
"I thought you'd be safer here than there," Jack pressed on, as if Ianto had never spoken. "I guess I wanted - needed - to believe that Harriet's cloaking of the Hub had held, even after she couldn't hide her own location. Stupid."
Ianto pressed his fingers to Jack's lips to silence the angry words. "You're not stupid. It's never stupid to hope."
Taking Ianto's hand in both of his, Jack shook his head. "It was stupid to leave without all of the facts. A good leader always knows the facts." A shudder ran through him, making Ianto ache. "When we got back. When we found the tourist office's door blown wide open, the cog door destroyed, and that Dalek here... in the Hub..." Jack took an unsteady breath and swallowed noisily. "God, Ianto."
"I had hoped to have disposed of it, before you returned," Ianto admitted. There had been too much to do, he couldn't help remembering. The systems were mostly down, the entire Hub in a shambles. A lone, destroyed Dalek had fallen below the necessities of ensuring everything continued to run smoothly around the Rift.
"Oh no you don't," Jack said, tearing Ianto out of his thoughts by shaking his arms roughly. "Don't you even dare. You don't get to hide that kind of thing from me." Ianto winced, and pulled free of Jack. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jack's own mouth dropped open, and Ianto could see Jack's brain catching up to his words.
"I'm sorry," Jack rushed out before Ianto could form a reply. "I didn't mean it like that."
Ianto shook his head. Maybe it was a bit too similar, the road to hell and good intentions and whatnot. "Jack..."
"No." This time, it was Jack who pressed a finger to Ianto's lips. Ianto didn't reply, and Jack continued by saying, "What I meant is that I don't want you hiding from me when something's wrong, or you're hurt, or in danger. We're in this together, Ianto."
Something warmed in him then, and Ianto took Jack's hand in his own, pressing a kiss to the fingertips before pulling them away from his face. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Jack smiled then, not the vibrant smile often given freely to anyone and everyone, but a rarer, more content expression. "Ianto, what am I going to do with you?" His voice was sad, but affection poured out of every word.
Quirking an eyebrow, Ianto laughed quietly. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
Jack laughed then, the first true, deep laughter Ianto had heard from him since his return, his entire face lighting up with the sheer joy of it. "Always, Ianto. Always."
However, before he could reply, Jack leaned forward, grasping the sides of Ianto's face in his hands and kissing him slowly. "But I'd rather you showed me," he whispered, when they parted.
"Gladly," Ianto replied, standing and once more holding his hand out to Jack. Once he held it safely within his own, Ianto pulled him from the couch. "But I think we need to take this some place a little more comfortable." He grinned over his shoulder at Jack before adding, "And a lot more off the CCTV feeds."
Another burst of laughter from Jack and Ianto felt himself truly breathe deep and free for the first time since the invasion alert had sounded. "Oh I do like the way you think, Ianto Jones," Jack said, wrapping his arms around Ianto's waist from behind. He pushed them forward faster, laughing when their feet tangled in the rush, and they nearly fell.
At the top of the ladder to Jack's quarters, Ianto felt Jack tug on his waist enough to stop him from moving any further. Confused, he turned in Jack's embrace, and looked up at a once again serious face.
"Jack?" he asked, concerned at the downturn of his mood.
Jack didn't reply right away, but rather searched Ianto's features so closely and for so long that Ianto felt ready to squirm before Jack finally answered him. "Thank you."
Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Ianto said, "Jack..." but Jack shook his head, still completely serious, and Ianto acquiesced to his silent request.
"I don't say that nearly as often as I should, and after this especially... Just... Thank you," he repeated, his voice low and serious.
Knowing it best not to argue - yet, at any rate - Ianto merely nodded and smiled softly. "You're welcome." Though he couldn't quite resist adding, "Whatever for, that is. You're welcome."
The far-too-rare, gentle smiled returned to Jack's face, and he said, "Oh, just for being you." He pressed another quick kiss to Ianto's lips. "Now take me to bed?"
"Yes, sir," Ianto said with a wink.
end