Did you know that I find it almost impossible to be funny going by the actual Kingdom Hearts thing unless I character bash? It's true, so that's why it's about random things.
This poem theme is: Axel just lost Roxas, can Axel get over it? Axel POV. Let's see how he handles rapping. So really, this is making fun of rappers too. xD
Well, here goes. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Drugs are good for you, they make you write really weird poems about chopping off people's heads(see "Have Happy ENDS"). Anyway, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, and I sure as hell am not proud of owning the words that you are about to read. I don't own the other stuff that I say either.
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I'm so lonesome I could cry/ Then do so you fagot/ Aw, shut up/ You, Xehanort, could never understand/ I don't go by that name anymore/ What do I care...whore/
I'll slap your face/ I'll slap it twice/ I'll take a chance and roll the dice/ So shake that booty/ Shake that booty/ Come on Roxas/ Shake that booty/
No/ I'm leaving/ I'm tired of being your sex toy/ You had better be grieving/ 'Cause you won't find any other boy/ Like me/
You don't know shit/ I can take a hit/ I'll make you spit/ When you're sucking my di-/ Ding-dong/ The little bitch/ Is he moving on?/ What about the stitches/ I put on his thong/ This seems so wrong/ This ain't no gong/ Show/ This ain't no gong/
Show me the money honey/ You know I ain't no playboy bunny/ If you want my services it's gonna take money/ Fine but just enough to make your mascara runny/
Three weeks later
I'm tired of the same lifestyle/ Got nothing to make it worth wile/ All I got are these stupid rhymes/ Which I haven't even got memorized/ 'Bout slappin' and bitchin' and winnin' cold hard cash/ Which I use to get my ass/ Stereotypical is the name of my game/ If you look at any other rapper it's all the same/ All it is is dough for tee/ 'Cause RAP is just Retards Attempting Poetry/ I see no gain/ This obscene rain/ Of the same verses playing over again/ Just wish I knew what to do/ To come up with something fresh or new/
Just wish I could start with a clean slate/ It's not my fault that I can't find a clean date/ Maybe it's my hair or the way I fight with myself/ Or could it be that this black robe doesn't show enough to help/ But you know something/
My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment/ I made all the women at their computers pregnant/ That's right/ My rhymes can be sexist/ But you lovely bitches and ho's should know I'm trying to correct this/
Sometimes/ My rhymes are polite/ Like " Thank you Mrs. Johnson for dinner it was delicious good night."/ And sometimes/ My rhymes are obscene/ Like an N-17/ Pornographic dream/ About bitches covered in margarine/ And sometimes/ I rap about reality/ Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea/ There ain't no party like my grandma's tea party/ Ai/ Oh/
Step back/ Take a look around/ That's right it's me without any sound/ Because/ Somebody clicked the mute button/ Who the hell clicked the mute button?/ Where the hell's the mute button?/ . . ./ Better button up/ Before the bed bugs come undone/
Three more weeks later
Roxas/ Did you really leave me like this?/ Did I really take you for granted?/ As we both lay there and panted/ Indemnity is gripping at my brain/ Holding it in check to make sure it doesn't go lame/ And try to give itself up 'cause it's got nothing to live for/ To stop it from swelling up 'cause it's got nothing to breathe for/
Assume the position wishing something would give him permission/ To enter me with no conditions, no heartbreaks and no incisions/ Missing cause he wouldn't listen to the practitioner with big indecisions/ Making it seem vicious and pushing in with no other mission/ Leaving me so unrequited/ Wanting to have some other vision( Wow, that was awesome)/
Who said I wanted the rat back/ I'd rather have a heart attack/ Or rather go to the love shack/ And sit alone with only a track/ To mention where I was at/ I never would've guessed at that/ I guess I'm cutting myself slack/
To continue down this road/ Of hurt and while I'm all alone/ I'll devise a plan to make him moan/ And then come back to me in a groan/ You know what they say "To each his own"/
Two days later
It failed/ And I think I nearly wailed/ At the fact that/ Barney's getting more than me per week/ Doesn't that make me seem weak?/ Oh no, not big bird too/ While talking to me you're having TWO??/ Fuck, if I only knew what to do/ I guess I don't/ So let's leave it at woe-be-gone/ I don't have the strength to keep going strong/
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Alright, I'm so fortunate that I went braindead only at the end.
Could you tell that Axel didn't end up with Roxas at the end? That's right. Just like it says, his plan failed. It's too bad, because I liked the plan he came up with. Anyway, time to wrap this up.
Please review!! 'cause I'm seriously out of Ideas, which you could probably tell at the end of this poem.
-Bye