Over time, you come to accept reality: Ed is gone, for ever. But you cannot let him go completely, and so a part of him is tucked away in the corner of your heart. That part of him will always be with you, waiting and watching.
All you can do is welcome him, pour him a cup of wine (metaphorically, of course), and let him get on with whatever he's there to do. A mixed blessing, to be sure; his memory's kept alive, but your love for him is also evergreen.
And how do you bear that kind of pain?