Homie G Romie Studdies in Japonie

by Moofy-Moof

A story full of love, grammatical errors and plot holes. EDIT-After seven years of this shitty story sitting in the bowels of the internet, I found it still held up fairly okay, but the tasteless racism and other themes completely disgusted me, so for posterity's sake I removed the particularly nasty, borderline sociopathic racism, and raised the Jailbait's age by a whopping 5, yw.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 1

The Birth of Homie Jerromie

Poor little Jewish boy Homie Jerromie, his mom would not let let her husbands brother name the child again ever since he named the twins Deniece and Denephew, so they just picked a name randomly out of a hat, little did they know that the evil demon, Hip Hop Phreshter, went back in time to switch the name that would have originally been chosen from Desu Ne Jerromie, to Homie Jerromie, thus setting forth a chain of events that would lead to the worlds destruction, luckily, after the good demon, Kagoshima Rozen Master, got out of demon jail for molesting that little girl, he would set things right for all the world! But until then, things would be even less right than Bobby Hill!

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 2

Hip Hop Phresh in da School Yard, SOUWLJAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Things were very not right INDEED! The boy destined to become the next great Japanese Master following Kawaii Waffle Chan, Lolita Master Tenshi San Mon Juan, Lolita Master Taiko Cummer, and even Shota Master/Taiko Bum Master Montezuma Puma, had become nothing more than a posa cracker ass G Homie! All by the age of seveneteen. It was all in his name, because his name was Homie instead of Desu Ne, his entire life revolved around rap, hip hoppidyness, Gucci shoe's, and Chicken Fried Watermelon Campbell's fried chicken noodle soup marinated in grape soda-red Kool-Aid mix! He was one of the fly gansta kids who didn't know how supa supa kawaii Japanese things were and kept deluding himself into believing that the music and clothes and lifestyle were cool. On this particular day, his arch nemesis Tyrone Thurgood Brown came into his hood (the benches by the trees) and started flashin' with a passion his blood signs and shootin' his mouth off bein' like "Bloods fo loife!" Homie was like "nuh-uh nigga! You on da west Side, yeeah das da Crip Side! I keep a blue flag hangin' out mah backside!" They then scheduled a fight for after school behind the corner store. Only Tyrone couldn't be there because the owner is church friends with his pop's, so they decided to go to Borders.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 3

Da Loli an da Homie

Homie G was waiting at the Borders with his Crip Crew, they were all prepared for a fight, with their glocks and their knifes and their hurtful words. But then, just as Homie was about the do a rap, he saw the most beautiful thing in the whole world, it was a Japanese girl, around the age of fourteen (the Japanese sweet-spot). He almost had a heart spasm she was so lovely. Her cute face, her budding breasts, her cute skirted school uniform, and her slender legs all threw him off his game. "Hay yall, I gots ta go drop a lode niggaz" Homie said. He had to find an excuse to get away, what were these feelings he was having? "Crips is hardcore nigga's, but dey ain't no pedo's!" he thought, but he couldn't stand it no mo, since he was white after all, the shiftiest of all races, he came up with a plan!

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 4

A Great Realization

Homie grabed the nearest Weeaboo he could find, took him behind the dumpster, and gave him a coupon for 30% off all manga in the store for his clothes. Homie was now dressed in some jeans and a T-shirt of Link holding up the Triforce with the top triangle misaligned, he didn't really get the joke though. He washed his slick black hair as slick and black as a PS Triple so it was down and sort of messy, he also put on some glasses, now he looked like a tru weeaboo trupa! He grabbed volume one of Death Note and started reading it. "Hey! This comic isn't bad! Wow! People dying is so cool! These Jap's sure know how to make comics! The ones in America are all lame!" All these thoughts going through his head, he inched over to the little loli and saw that she was reading a manga called "Fairy Idol Kanon", It was the kawaii-est thing he had ever seen, he said "Hey, whatcha readin' little girl?" She told him about it with a beaming smile. He got an erection so he sat down next to her and tucked his junk down when she wasn't looking. It was the first time he had ever been in love, he had a few bitches and ho's before, but he never banged them because he thought they were all homely and butterfacey, he also didn't like the darkies. After minutes of talking, the loli kissed him on the cheek and left with her dad who was on business in the US. Homie then fainted. In his dream he was running with his love in a flower field (btw her name was Chizu or something because... she was as pretty as... a thousand stork's or something, idunno I'm not even trying anymore, I'm just fucking googling everything, I don't even care.), anyway, she suddenly disappeared, he was so sad, somehow he knew this was connected to her leaving him IRL, then a figure came out of the darkness, he introduced himself as "The Good Demon Kagoshima Rozen Master" he said that he couldn't let the girl of his dreams go, he had to fight for his RIGHT!1 Homie knew he had to get to Japan and find her once again! For it was his DESTINY!

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 5

Da Big Tussle

Homie (in all the commotion) forgot all about the fight, he was at home playing Persona 4 (he had picked it up on his way home), he was already passed all the dialog (while studying everything on the internet about Japanese things and 2/4Chans so he could be a real cool guy), he was now an cooler guy than anybody! He then remembered about the fight. OH SHIT! He saved the game and jumped out the window and ran faster than Forest Gump. Back to his Crip Crew, they were all waitin' an shit. "Ihuela mane! That Homie sho is takin' a long ass seroté!" Then, Tyrone came by with his Blood Crew flashin' with a passion' once again! After that, it turned into a Ballroom Blitz, the man in the back said "EVERYONE ATTACK", and it turned into a Ballroom Blitz! Then, a group of Japanophiles came by and one remarked "Look! Those fellows are cosplaying as Team Aqua and Team Magma! That's pretty cool!". Homie's right hand man then yelled "WHASHOO SAY BISH!" He took out a Glock and aimed it at him. "Whoah! Take it easy!" The kid said with a smile like he just made a reference to a meme. "WHASSO FUNNEE HOME'S!?" yelled Jorjé again. "I just don't think a beaner should be handling a gun is all!". This kid had wanted to call someone a beaner, or nigger, or Jew all his life, but now that he did, he regretted it so much. "DAS IT MANE!" Jorgé yelled. But just as he shot his gun, the racist weeaboo kid pulled out his imitation katana and somehow out of pure luck managed to deflect the bullet which went flying though all of the nameless Crip homie's skulls (except for Jorjé), and since the weeaboo kid had the arm strength of a chihuahua, the katana flew out of his hands, flew like a Frisbee, and decapitated all of the Blood Nigga's (except Tyrone, who proceeded to run away like the fradey cat he was). "Fuck yeah Seaking!" Yelled the weebaoo. Just then Homie came running by to see the all too familiar scene of many dead gang negros. "What the fuck happened Jorjé!?" Homie asked. "Yo mang, I can ASK YOU! the SAME QUASTCHON mane!" Homie remembered then that he was still in his weeaboo attire. "Mane! Is dat da Zelda guy!? Dat game was sum stupid mane! Not no NOwhere as good as GRAND THEIFT AUTO SAN ANDREAS MANG!" Homie felt hurt, Legend of Zelda was his favorite game as a kid, even though he never finished it and instead focused his time on being a Gucci Mang. He realized that he never even liked Jorjé at all, or any of this gangsta shit, he just wanted to watch anime, read manga, play video games, internet, and be with loli. "HYA" Jorjé was stabbed through the chest by one nameless weeaboo kid and uttered his last words "Aww shiyut mane!" , then landed on the floor with a Mexican thud. (Now before you go feeling sorry for these guys, remember that they were all stupid gangsters who made their moms cry). Homie felt like all ties being a Gucci Phresssssh gangsta were severed and he was let loose. "Hey buddy" said the encyclopedia dramatica fag pulling his barely lethal weapon out of the wetback's—uh-back., "you wanna help us bury these niggers out in the woods?". Homie just looked up into the sky and gave a great sigh. "Sorry guys, not today. I gotta get my loli back!" Homie ran off into the sunset to the sound of applause from the small group of weeaboo's he was sure he'd never see again.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 6

Homie is Very Not Good at Math

Homie was just laying in his bed contemplating on how he could get to Japan. He had just sold all of his gangsta stuff in an attempt to raise plane money, but then used it to buy a bunch of NEW useless weeaboo stuff. Just then his Jew parents burst in in ANGER! Homie had an F in Math class, in fact, the only class he had a grade above a B- in was Folklorico. Little did they know that over night Homie had studied mathamaticies and could easily get all of his work done, and enough makeup work to get a triple A+ AND be home in time for King of the Hill. He was about to tell them of his great academic triumph, when a thought popped into his head. He told them of Japan's great educational system and how azn were so smart at math. It was decided then! Homie would become a foreign exchange student!

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 7

The Day Arriveth!

Homie had made sure to work double triple overtime to finish all of his high school credits (except for like calculus of whatever shit he was on by his senior year) by April so he would only have to take one math class for the whole school year when class started in his supa supa kawaii Japanese high school! For now, he was only concentrating on finding the elementary school that Chizu went to. He knew that she was a third year middle school student, and when they were talking, she had mentioned that her dad sold Tokyo Dranku, the only way to quench your kawaii thirst! Third, year somewhere in Tokyo. He wrote it on his hand so that he would not forget. Homie packed up his shit and started out the house, as he opened the door, he was greeted by an azn Biker Gang dude, his foreign exchange counterpart. Homie hesitantly asked "So uh...w-what motivated you to study in the US?". "I am here to kirr arr pussy ass nigga gang members!" Toshibasa kun said in a broken accent. "Oh...well uh...they're all dead... They have been for like month now." Homie stated. "Oh...rearry?" "Yeah." Homie added. There were several seconds of awkward silence. "well, I've gotta go find my Lolita, have fun in the US chap!"

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 8

Fucking Google Maps!

The only way Homie could convince his Jew parents to let him go to Japan was if they didn't have to pay for transportation. Homie was halfway to Hawaii and his kayak was starting to dip. "Fucking Google Maps!" Homie yelled in a regretful rage. Just then, Homie saw the most beautiful sight since he first saw that Chizu girl (though not quite as beautiful). It was a giant IRL Milotic. "Hey, it's a Milotic! I know because I beat 16 versions of Pokemon before I took this trip!" Homie said with glee. It was like the episode of the Pokemon anime "Island of Giant Pokemon" he saw, along with every episode released and not released in America, except that episode was Gen I, and there was no Milotic in Gen I , but he didn't care, IRL POKAYMANS!11 Homie stood up and did a double jump and a spin attack and he landed right on top of the giant Milotic briefcase in hand. It was so glorious riding on that beautiful sea dragon (though it wasn't actually a Dragon type). It felt like no time at all until they were in Japan. Homie's new life long dream had finally come true! The Japanese people didn't seem surprised to see a giant Milotic flying over them, they must be used to the sight. Homie saw his exchange home (he recognized it from the picture). Homie jumped off and hovered down to the front step. Homie was so excited! Finally getting to a traditional Japanese home! But more importantly, it was one step closer to his love Chizu! He opened the door to the Kasuga residence with in anticipation.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 9

Kasuga Residence

"Harro dere!" said Ms. Kasuga. Homie thaught she was really pretty, especially for a middle aged lady. He thought of having a super cool affair with his exchange mother, but then he thought "nah". "Husband is off on business, will be back tomorrow." Homie was like "K", and was directed to his "Toshibasa's" room. Nothing really stood out except the Girugamesh poster on the wall. "GIRUGAMESH!" Homie yelled with his arm raised above his head, lulz. Homie unpacked his PS2 and memory card. "Oh cool, he also has a PS2, I won't need swap magic to play all of my import games!" Homie exclaimed with glee. Homie then sat on Japanese bed and thought like thinker. Where to look first? Homie decided to make a list of all of the Middle schools in Tokyo, then after his one class every day except Sunday, he would visit each one and ask for her. Homie got on computer and saw that it had Japanese keys, good thing he studied!. "Wait, what if she's home-schooled?" He thought. "FUCK!"

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 10

Pleasant Morning

Homie woke up with a wet feeling on his genitals, like his genitals were in Niagara Falls. He had another dream about Chizu that night, like he does every night. He thinks of her only when his eyes are open, and when his eyes are closed... (that's all the time). This one time, he was completely flaccid, he thought about her in some pink lingerie, and BAM, without even becoming erect he came all in his pants. Mrs. Kasuga came in and told him breakfast was ready. "What a nice lady" Homie thought, "If she was younger, wasn't married, and I didn't already have Chizu, I would totally hit that!" Homie was started his morning with a traditional Japanese breakfast, shit like rice and shit, stuff like that. "Thank you Mrs. Kasuga for this lovely meal!" Homie said wit a grin on his grill. "Sank you too Homie kun! You such nice boy! I would rove a nice boy rike you to marry my daughter!". "No thank you, I already have someone in my life." and as he finished his last bite of sushi or whatever, he said "don't wait up for me after my class, I have some business to take care of!", and with that, he mounted his magical flaming Tiger, Ichigo Tenchi Muyo, and rode the winds out the window, into the distance.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 11

First Day of School

Homie's day was immediately awkward, as he walked in, some Korean kid yelled obscenities in Russian. "What the Boat?" Homie thought, but then shrugged it off and continued to his homeroom class. It was before class, he took a seat and everyone was pointing and whispering. They must not have been used to GAIJINS! (except that Korean kid, but Homie was pretty sure he didn't even come this school). One girl got up and asked him if he liked anime and was an Otaku, he said that he did prefer anime over American animation. The girl laughed and started calling him names. Some other people joined in the laughter, but most of the students just remained silent in pity. Something snapped in Homie, some of his primal gangsta instinct came rushing back to him in one instance and before the girl could call him a "Gaijin rice chaser" one more time, Homie back-slapped her so hard that she fell to the floor, and years later her kids had bruised faces, but that happens later so let's get back to the story. Everyone in the class immediately got up and started cheering. Homie was swept up by his adoring classmates and idolized like a god. After class had started, the teacher announced that a class representative would need to be chosen by the classmates. Before the teacher described what they would have to take into consideration when choosing, someone suggested Homie, and everyone else rose their hand making Homie the official class representative. "Wow! Me, the class rep! Who would have ever imagined? If mama could see me now!" Homie thought to himself. After homeroom was Math, when the teacher arrived, Homie completed all of his work for the week in 5 minutes and left for the roof (it was a cliché he had seen in all anime). Homie didn't get a lot of sleep the night before, he had a lot to think about, like how he was going to caress Chizu's pretty body, and him being her first lover, and stuff.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 12

Thou art I, and I am Thou, Social Link Increased!

Homie woke up with a wet felling on his blah blah blah. "Ugh, did I fall asleep?" Homie asked, even though the answer was obvious. There were a group of gentlemen sitting around him eating their bento boxes (not the actual box, but the contents of the box). It was most likely lunch time. Homie greeted the boys, but he didn't have to introduce himself, they all knew who he was, since Homie was asleep, he had become infamous, the hero of the whole school! Homie was flattered, but he had to get going. "It's dangerous to go arone, take dis!", one boy said offering Homie a list of every student in all of the middle schools in Tokyo. Why the guy had this list was a mystery, but it sure was convenient, and is saving me some work, so what the hell! Homie got on his mighty Ichigo whatever tiger and flew off.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 13

The search!

First off, I'd like to congratulate myself, fanfiction is longer than all of my other ones!I will celebrate by watching Pootie Tang.

Homie flipped through the names until he found Chizu. The last name was singed off "DAMMIT!" Homie yelled. "Oh well, at least I know what school she goes to!". Homie went to the lady at the front office and asked for a girl named Chizu, but the lady couldn't give that information. Homie was now disgruntled. He went outside and released his Vaporeon, sketched a picture of Chizu, made Vaporeon use Acid Armor so it would be invisible, and sent it off in search of his honey. About an hour passed and Vaporeon still hadn't returned (it had a quiet nature so its speed stat wasn't very good). Vaporeon then came back jetting across the floor like a slip n' slide. "Vaporeon! That's dangerous, The kids are going to slip on that!" Homie handed Vaporeon a mop, " now go clean it up!", Vaporeon followed orders obediently. After Vaporeon was done, he reported that Chizu was nowhere in the school. "GOD DAMMIT!" Homie whispered to himself. If she isn't here then where!? She's probably still on with her dad on that business trip with her dad, for like a month? Sure, why not, anything is possible in the world of Pokemon! Wait, the world of Pokemon? I guess, there hasn't been a single animal in this whole fanfiction, or any of my others, I think. Plus there's been a few Pokemon all over the place. Sure, I guess, this the Kanto region, except with all of the actual cities in the world, and Homie's magic tiger was actually Entei or something, whatever. So then, Chris Hansen shows up with his Kirlia (his child decoy), "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SEAT!?" Chris yelled giving chase. "OH SHIT! VAPOREON, USE HAZE OR MIST OR SOME SHIT AND LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!", so Vaporeon did just that and Homie flew away on his Pidgey (his HM-whore), why would he need a flying type that can learn fly when he already has Butterfree. Oh yeah, he also has a Butterfree, it's his favorite Pokemon. Why it hasn't made an appearance yet I can't tell you, but I can tell you why nobody in America used Pokemon, because they're a bunch of baka gaijin's, that's why! But I really don't want this to turn into another "Green Fan fiction", so I'm not going to focus on the Pokemon aspect. But I will tell you what team Homie has. Butterfree, Vaporeon, Togepi, Missingno, Mewthree, Entei, and like, Wobbuffet or something, oh, and Pidgey I guess, he's not so much of a pussy that he can't walk around a small tree or climb a rock, and he can swim, but even if he couldn't, he could just teach his Vaporeon, he doesn't need any other HM-whore's. How did he train them so good you ask? Well, he has had them for like a month.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 14

HAAH

WAAW

That last chapter was unnecessarily long. So anyway. Homie flew back into the city. He felt like crap so he got to a pay phone and called his house, he must have been really desperate calling his parents. His dad would ask him if he spent too much money, his mom would tell him to wear sunblock, and the twins would just call him a stupid Japanophile like they have been for the past month, I guess he was hoping that someone other than his parents or brother or sister would answer. "Harro?", "Oh, Toshibasa kun!" Homie said with relief, "hows it going pal?". "I's going great Homie! American Steak Houses are best ever! Never had anything as good! Staying in America forever, you can rive with my famirry, don't care if your famirry are so baka, going to serr propane and propane accessories!" blurted out Toshibasa Kasuga with glee. "Cool story bro, I guess so, whatever. Anyway, I just needed somebody to talk to I can't find the girl I've been looking for, her name is Chizu, she went on a business trip with her dad who sells some kind of soft drink." said Homie in a sad tone. "Wait, Tokyo Dranku?" asked Toshibasa. "Um, yeah." replied Homie. " She have brown hair, 14 year old, bout 4 feet tarr, have mole under eye?" Toshibasa asked in detail. "Yeah, wait, do you know her!?", "Hai, she my sister, Chizu Kasuga" said Toshibasa. "WAT!?", "HAAH WAAW, you not even know!? You baka gaijin! Have fun in Japan" Toshibasa teased before he hung up leaving Homie listening to the dial tone. Homie felt even more ignorant than Dale Gribble.

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Verse 15

Homie's Last Stretch

Homie ran home. When he got there he told Mrs. Kasuga of his and Toshiba's deal. "My rittre Toshibasa finarry reached his goar of serring propane and propane accessories!" She didn't feel to sad about her son leaving, it was weird. Then as he was going to sit down, the door opened, an old man entered the house, he was as buff as Hulk Hogan, if Hulk Hogan was a Jap. "HARRO DERE" said the man. Then, a little girl entered behind him, it was Chizu. She saw him and immediately recognized him. "Homie!" Chizu said, embracing him in her small slender arms. Homie's heart grew three sizes that day. "SO DID FAMOUS HOMIE JERROMIE!?" asked Hurk Kasuga. "YOU ON THE NEWS, SLAPPED A HO. BIG SUPPA STAR!". Homie was featured as sexiest man alive on every magazine ever. Chizu was so happy, that she gave him a big kiss on the lips, Homie felt like Humbert Humbert. "HOORAY, DAUGHTER FINARRY GET MAN! CEREBRATE WITH ANIME VIEWING PARTY!". Homie was on top of the world and had accomplished everything he ever wanted to accomplish! But sadly, he could not have happy ending just yet!, for something unbespected to him had occurred outside, a great explosion! He ran outside and saw Tyrone Thurgood whateverthefuck standing in the middle of the street with a big ol' fucking Registeel standing next to him. Tyrone started to say "Yaaah man, I got dis here fucker by trading my sister to" "Your sisters fugly, I don't believe you!" Interupted Homie. "Fine then, I bought it, you good now Homie!?". Homie didn't want to deal with this, his gangster life was all behind him. He sent out his Entei. They had a fairly long battle. "Get your shit together Entei!" But Entei didn't feel like putting 100% into this battle because it was old and wanted to go home and watch Matlock. "FUCK!" yelled Homie. "Oh wait, what am I doing!? I'm such a baka!" Homie then sent out his Butterfree and used Sleep Powder. It missed the first turn, but that didn't matter because it was holding a Focus Band. It used it again, it hit, he used nightmare, then Dream Eater a few times, and Registeel died in like 15 seconds. "Fuck yeah!" Homie yelled. Tyrone be like "NOOOOOOOO!" Just as Tyrone was about to send out another bitch ass Pokemon, a Seaking came out of nowhere and impaired Tyrone with Horn Drill, then used Hyper Beam to make Fried Chicken out of Tyrone, and then Waterfall to wash away the ashes. It's master was the Weeaboo kid at Borders. "Gee thanks, that wasn't really necessary, I kind of had him." stated Homie. "Yeah, I know, I just have this unnatural hatred for blacks, that's why I'm so sad cause I think writing nigger on the internet is funny and love killing them, I will make a very powerful police officer one day" Said the kid. "We should battle sometime, whats your name?" asked Homie. "Nathan Neckbeard" said the faggot kid. Homie then cool story'd him and went back inside to an adoring new family including a very sexy and wet Little Girl. That night, him and Chizu made sweet sweet love, both of them climaxing at the exact moment that Toshibasa had sold his 1,000th grill!

Homie G Romie Studies in Japonie

Last Verse

Epilogue

Give credit where credit is due you Baka's!:

First off, I would like to thank Dr. darkslime (with a PhD in loliconomics) for giving creative directing and helping me polish up the ending!

Second, I'd like to thank Bobby Birmingham. His constant inspiration and support has helped me through these harsh times. He has always encouraged me to do my best!

How could I forget Noah! Him and his mom are a constant inspiration to me, with their zero tollerance of computer viruses, and their love for chicken coops and cat urine!

Last but not least, I would like to thank Hank Hill.

-Remember to follow your dreams and keep habeebing in yourselves!-

~BYE BEE!~