Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing at all related to Susan Harris!
Episode One:
:Mary and Jessica are sitting in a restaurant eating and talking:
Announcer: This is the story of two sisters: Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
:When the announcer says the names of the two sisters, the actresses' names should appear with the faces:
Announcer: These are the Tate's.
:The camera gets random shots of each Tate family member and the actor's name should appears with the faces:
Announcer: And these are the Campbell's.
:The camera gets random shots of the Campbell family and the actors' names should appear with the faces:
Announcer: And this is SOAP.
:Chester and Burt start the fight and it turns ugly:
Announcer: On the last episode of Soap, Mary got some advice from Jodie, even though he still thinks that he is Julius Kasendorf, a ninety-year-old Jewish man from the turn of the century. Eunice, Dutch, El Puerco, and Billy plan for a rescue mission to save Jessica from the fate from Santiago. Meanwhile, Jessica faces a firing squad while Danny and Annie face an angry Chester with a gun.
Confused? You won't be after this episode of SOAP!
Malaguay:
Announcer: We begin this episode shortly after Jessica faced the firing squad.
Santiago: What happened? Why isn't Red down?
Soldier: I don't know. Maybe they did not aim the guns correctly.
Jessica:Opens her eyes: Am I dead?
Sandy: No Red, you are still alive.
Jessica: How?
Santiago: I don't know.
:El Puerco, Billy, the three Juans and Dutch run to the rescue:
El Puerco: Santiago, I am here!
Santiago: I see. Okay Red, you are freed to go. But I don't understand how you did not even get a nick, a scratch, or a wounded shoulder.
Billy: we put blanks in the guns.
Santiago: Now I know.
El Puerco: Are you all right, Jessica?
Jessica: Yes, I'm fine El. I just wished that I did not have to face death again so soon. You know that this is the third time this year I almost died, well second, because I did die the first time and then I was revived.
El Puerco: Red, I love you, but I do not think that I am going to go back to Dunn's River with you.
Jessica: Why not?
El Puerco: Because I love you too much to put you through all of this again. Santiago, let Red go back to Connecticut with her family and you can have me.
Santiago: Fair enough, but I will get the pleasure of watching you die.
Jessica: Wait! El:Kisses him passionately: I'll never forget you.
El Puerco: I will never forget you too for as long as I live.
Jessica: That won't be much longer.
El Puerco: I know, but I won't forget.
Jessica: I love you, El.
El Puerco: I love you too, Red.
:El goes to the wall and faces Santiago. Santiago shoots El and El dies. Billy holds Jessica back:
Billy: It'll be fine, ma. I promise.
Jessica: I know.
Dutch: Are you ready to go home:Jessica nods and Dutch and Billy leave with her:
Ambush:
:Burt is creeping into the room and the man sneaks up on Burt and Burt turns around and hits him with his bat. Another man shoots at Burt and wounds Burt's knee. Burt takes his gun out and shoots at him and Burt turns the lights on and sees the men behind all of this:
Burt: It's you! You disgust me!
Man: Well, well Bat, we meet again. I have to give you credit, you knocked two of my men out with a bat and you shot at three of them with a pistol. Very impressive.
:Burt hits the man upside the head with the bat:
Pool House:
:Danny and Annie are at Chester's mercy:
Danny: Hey dad, why don't we put the gun away and talk about this, huh?
Chester: After all I have given you: life…my kidney…a guitar!
Annie: Chet, please don't do this.
Chester: Be quiet you little slut! I am a desperate man on the edge! First my wife leaves me and runs around with El Puerco and then my own wife sleeps with my son!
Annie: I thought that you left me.
Chester: I was kicked out!
Annie: Jessica kicked you out!
Chester: So?
Annie: I didn't!
Chester: Get off the bed! Both of you! If I am going to kill you, I don't want blood in my bed.
:Annie and Danny get out of the bed:
Chester:Closes his eyes and aims the gun at Annie and Danny: On the count of three, I am going to kill you. One…two…three :fires the guns at the ceiling:
Annie: Really Chester!
Danny: Come on, dad. Sit down :has Chester sit at the table: Give me the gun.
Chester: No, I need it to kill El tomorrow.
Danny: El is not here he left to go get Aunt Jessie. Give me the gun.
Chester: No!
Danny: Dad!
Chester: Fine :gives Danny the gun:
Danny: I won't arrest you.
Chester: Good.
Danny: But I am going to have you committed.
Chester: Fair enough, son. Why?
Danny: You are imbalanced dad. You need some help.
Chester: All right. I will go get some help.
Danny: That's all I ask.
Campbell House:
:A drunk Mary is changing Scotty's diapers. She does not drop him:
Mary: No more spinach for you, Scotty. I need to remember to get some more Scotch at the store tomorrow. Okay baby Scotch, time for nappy naptime.
:Chuck and Bob enter the nursery as Mary almost stumbles with Scotty:
Mary: Gee, you are getting big!
Chuck: Mary, why don't you sit down for now? Bob and I will take care of him.
Mary: Bob can't help you he's dunk :laughs:
Chuck: Mary, just sit down.
Bob: Say it isn't so. Say it isn't so. Everyone keeps saying that you don't love me.
Chuck: Bob, go sit with Mary :Places Bob on Mary's lap:
Mary: Bob, my life's a wreck. My husband doesn't love me anymore; Jessica is being held hostage, my baby flies, and my gay son thinks that he is an old Jewish man named Julius. :Picks up Bob's arm and drops it: Chuck, I think that Bob is dead.
Chuck: He is not dead, Mary. He's passed out.
Mary: But he has no pulse!
:Chuck picks up Scotty:
Chuck: All right little guy time for your nap :places Scotty in the crib:
Mary: Chuck! He is not breathing!
Chuck: Oh my God:Breaths air into Bob. Bob is then "revived":
Bob: What the hell are you doing?
Mary: Thank God you're all right.
Chuck: You passed out.
Bob: So?
Chuck: You weren't breathing.
Bob: I never breathed when I am passed out. You know how many people think I'm dead?
:Mary laughs:
Chuck: Come on Mary, I'll take you to your bed.
Mary: You're a good boy, Chucky. A really good boy :kisses Chuck on the cheek and Chuck takes her to her room:
Campbell's Master room:
:Chuck lays Mary on the bed:
Chuck: Mary, just get some rest, okay? I'll be out tonight and Julius and Maggie will be downstairs if you need anything, okay?
Mary: Could you get some scotch while your out? I'm having company over tomorrow.
Chuck: No Mary. You need to get some help. You are an alcoholic.
Mary: I am not an alcoholic! I'm lonesome, that's all.
Chuck: Is that it?
Mary: Yes.
Bob: Lonesome:Laughs:
Chuck: Bob!
Bob: That's her reason to drink because she is lonesome?
Mary: I am not going to stay here and listen to this for another minuet:Leaves the room:
Chuck: Mary!
Bob: Mary!
:Mary storms out of the house and gets into her car and drives away:
Mary's car:
:Mary swerves and a few seconds later, she gets into an accident:
Tate House:
:Corrine enters with two-year old Timmy:
Corrine: Hello, I am here! I tried to come as soon as I heard about mother!
Eunice: Corrine:Hugs her: I missed you so much!
Corrine: I missed you too, Eunice. Any news?
Eunice: Billy and Dutch found mother and they are flying to the Hartford airport. They will be home for dinner.
Corrine: That's great news.
Eunice: Benson is going to stop by to say hello tomorrow.
Corrine: I can't wait to see him.
:Saunders enters:
Saunders: Hello, Corrine, Timmy.
Corrine: Hiya, Saunders. How are they treating you?
Saunders: Better than to be expected I suppose.
:Annie and Danny enter the room:
Annie: Hi, are you Corrine?
Corrine: Yes. Are you daddy's new wife?
Annie: Sort of.
Danny: Hi Corrine. Meet my girlfriend, Annie. She and Chester are filing for divorce.
Corrine: Hello.
Saunders: It's amazing what never ends.
Corrine: I heard about gramps. Is he still upstairs?
Eunice: Yes. Why don't you go upstairs and say hello. I'm sure he would love that.
:Corrine goes upstairs:
Major's Room:
:The Major is in bed near death:
Corrine: Hiya Gramps.
Major: Hello Corrine.
Corrine: You know my name?
Major: Of course! You are my granddaughter. Where's Timmy?
Corrine: He's downstairs with Eunice.
Major: Well, I guess my time is coming.
Corrine: I'm sorry to hear that Gramps.
Major: Don't be sorry. Give me a kiss :Corrine kisses his cheek: There. I feel much better now. I know that I might have lost all of my marbles, but where is Jessie? I've seen Mary, but what about Jessie?
Corrine: Ma's on her way home tonight.
Major: From where?
Corrine: Malaguay.
Major: Never heard of it.
Corrine: She's all right. Gramps, I'll go get Timmy. He might want to say hi to you.
Major: Okay.
Hospital:
:Chuck, Bob, Maggie, and Jodie are in the waiting room waiting for results. Burt wheels into the waiting room:
Burt: Are you guys here to take me home? How thoughtful.
:Bob cries into Chuck's shoulder:
Burt: Hey, what's with him? Bob I am fine.
Bob: Creep!
Burt: Where's Mary? Is she filling out the papers?
Chuck: No.
Burt: Then where is she?
Maggie: She got into a car accident, Burt.
Burt: What?
Bob: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Maggie: She was drinking and driving and crashed the car into a building.
Burt: I am going to kill her:Wheels furiously to the desk: do not revive that woman at all:Maggie wheels Burt away from the desk: She is going to ruin me!
Bob: It's all my fault. I should not have said anything.
Chuck: Aw Bob. Nobody is blaming you.
Bob:Cries: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Jodie: Chuckula, I'll take Bobby for a walk to calm him down.
:Chuck gives Jodie Bob:
Chuck: Thanks Julius.
Jodie: Come on Bobulah, let's go to the gift shop.
Maggie: I'll come with you :Jodie, Maggie, and Bob leave:
Burt: How could she have been so stupid?
Chuck: Dad, I talked to Mary moments before this happened. She was lonesome.
Burt: No she is not. She has me.
Chuck: No, she feels that you do not love her anymore.
Burt: How do you know this?
Chuck: She talked to Bob and I about it.
Burt: Since when did Mary talk to you guys about stuff like this?
Chuck: Since Danny is never home and Jodie is an old man, Bob and I are the only people she can talk to.
Burt: I didn't realize that she was that miserable.
:Doctor enters the room:
Doctor: Burt, you're looking better.
Chuck: How is she doctor?
Doctor: Mary is doing fine. She is responding to all of the treatments we have been giving her, but she is still in a coma.
Chuck: May we go see her?
Doctor: She is still in the ICU.
Burt: I don't care. I want to go see her.
Doctor: All right :exits:
:Chuck looks at Burt in amazement:
Burt: What? That's the woman I love. God, what have I done? I've ignored her these last few months and I did not realize that she was unhappy. That's it. I am not running for congress. I love her too much to give her up.
Chuck: What do you mean dad?
Burt: The governor said that I could run for office if I left the family, but I would never do that. I love this family so much.
Chuck: I love you too, dad :hugs Burt:
:Doctor enters;
Doctor: You can go see her now, but remember, she is in a coma so she won't respond.
Burt: Thank you, doctor.
:Chuck and Burt go into the ICU:
ICU:
:Mary is hooked up to machinery. Burt, still in his wheelchair, sits by her side holding her hand while Chuck, Bob, Maggie, and Jodie look at her helplessly. Danny, Annie, Eunice, and Corrine enter the ICU:
Jodie: I hope the Rockette comes out of it soon because I go to bed at nine o'clock.
Maggie: I'm sure that she'll be fine.
Danny: Burt, we came as soon as we could.
Burt: I know.
Danny: What happened to you?
Burt: Drug bust.
Danny: Oh. Okay.
Eunice: Have you heard any news yet?
Burt: No.
:Nurse enters the room:
Nurse: Excuse me, but there are too many people in this room. Only a few of you can be in here at a time.
Burt: What do you mean by a few?
Nurse: Only you and your family, sir.
Burt: This is my family.
Nurse: Fine, only five people.
Eunice: I'll leave.
Burt: Eunice, you stay if you want to. I'll go.
Eunice: Burt, she's your wife.
Danny: I'll go.
Annie: Danny, she's your mother. I'll go.
Danny: Annie, she'll be your mother too. Will you marry me?
Annie: Oh Danny! Kisses him
Corrine: I'll go. I just came to say hi.
Eunice: Corrine, you haven't seen Aunt Mary in awhile.
Corrine: It's crowded in here.
Chuck: I'll go. I have to take Bob for a walk anyways.
Bob: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Chuck: Come on Bob :leaves the room:
Nurse: Two more people need to leave.
Jodie: It's almost seven-thirty. I'll go.
Maggie: I'll go with you.
Jodie: Then I'll go to bed at nine-thirty.
:Maggie and Jodie leave:
Nurse: It's still a little crowded in here.
Corrine: I'll go. I have to go check on Timmy anyways :Leaves:
Eunice: I'll go too. Mother, Dutch, and Billy will be home soon :leaves:
Nurse: Much better :leaves the room:
Danny: Since it's just you, me, Annie, and mom, I'll go get us something to eat.
Annie: I'll come with you.
Burt: Okay. I'll be here.
:Annie and Danny exit:
Burt: Oh God Mare, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this. I want you to wake up so I could take you home and make it up to you somehow. I love you toots.
Tate House:
:Dutch, Billy, and Jessica enter the house:
Jessica: Yoo-hoo! We're home!
Eunice: Oh Mother:Hugs Jessica: Oh Mother I missed you!
Jessica: I missed you too!
Corrine: Hi Ma!
Jessica: Oh Corrine! Corrine:Hugs Corrine: Oh Corrine it's so good to see you!
Eunice: Dutch! Thank you for getting mother back safely.
Dutch: It's the least I could do :Kisses Eunice:
Billy: How is gramps doing?
Jessica: What do you mean?
Dutch: He is not doing so well, Jessica.
Jessica: I have to go see him :goes upstairs:
Major's Room:
Jessica: Hi daddy.
Major: Jessica!
Jessica: Oh you remember my name!
Major: What a lovely name it is too. I named you after my mother.
Jessica: Really?
Major: Yes. Jessica Mae.
Jessica: Oh Daddy. I love you.
Major: I love you too. If you'll excuse me, I need my rest.
Jessica: Of course daddy :kisses him:. Goodnight. :She leaves the room:
Hospital:
:Mary is still in a coma and Burt, Annie, and Danny is still by her side:
Burt: Somebody should check on Scotty.
Danny: Scotty is fine, Burt. Chuck and Bob are watching him.
:Jessica comes into the room:
Jessica: Oh Mary!
Burt: Jess :hugs her: oh Jess.
Jessica: Oh Mary. What happened? I came as soon as I could. Eunice and Corrine told me that she was in an accident.
Burt: She was drinking and driving. It's my fault. I drove her to it.
:Mary wakes up:
Burt: Why did I run for sheriff? Why did I hunt down Tibbs? Why did I become friends with the governor? I want our old life back. If I did not become sheriff, then I would not have driven Mary to drinking.
Mary: Burt?
Burt: Mare:Hugs her: Mary! I am so sorry! God I am so sorry!
Jessica: Oh Mary! I'll go let a nurse know that you are awake. Leaves the room
Burt: I am so sorry Mare.
Mary: Why?
Burt: Don't you remember what happened?
Mary: I was changing Scotty, had a few screwdrivers and a cup of Irish Tea and then I-oh no! Burt, the car! I must have damaged it!
Burt: I don't care about the car, okay. All I care about is you.
Mary: You do? What about your public life? What about the senate?
Burt: I don't care. I only became sheriff to clean up this town and make it more decent to live in. I just forgot that that was the main reason why I ran. I ran to make this a better town for all of us.
Mary: I know, but it went too far.
Burt: Yeah, it did. I promise Mare, that I would never let anything go this far again.
Mary: Oh Burt! I am so sorry about all of this!
Burt: I don't care about the car, Mare.
Mary: About you.
Burt: What about me?
Mary: You're in a wheelchair!
Burt: Oh! This! Mare, don't worry. I was involved in a drug bust. I got nicked in the leg and it'll be fine, I promise.
Mary: Oh Burt.
Burt: Mary, I love you toots!
Mary: I know Burt. I know.
:Jessica comes back into the room:
Jessica: Hey Mary.
Mary: Oh Jess:Hugs her: Where's Scotty?
Burt: Scott's at home, Mare.
Mary: He was not with me, right?
Burt: No, he was at home with Jodie and Maggie.
Mary: Thank God! What about Wendy?
Burt: She's at home too, Mare. Don't worry. Nobody was with you and thank God, you're alive.
:Doctor comes in:
Doctor: Hello Mary. I see that we had a little accident. How are we feeling?
Burt: What is with this we stuff, huh? Are you her partner now?
Doctor: Do you remember anything before the accident Mary?
Mary: I was changing Scotty and I had a few drinks. That's all I remember.
Doctor: You were driving under the influence. Mary, this is serious. The next time, you might not be so lucky. Now you know what you ran into?
Mary: I think it was a building.
Doctor: The Dunn's River Bank.
Mary: Oh no! Nobody was hurt, right?
Doctor: No, everybody was fine. There is an officer waiting to talk to you downstairs, Mary. He told me that you had a choice between rehab and jail time. The decision is yours.
Mary: Thank you, doctor.
:Doctor leaves the room and Mary breaks down into tears:
Burt: Hey Mare, it's okay.
Mary: I've ruined you, Burt.
Burt: You just go to rehab and you'll be fine.
Mary: It's my first offense.
Burt: I know, toots.
Mary: But I will be away from you and Scotty and Wendy and Jodie…I can't go to rehab.
Burt: If you go to prison, you will be away from us longer.
Mary: Burt, can't you work something out? You're the Sheriff. Tell the police officer that your wife was very depressed and she made a stupid decision and she has a baby at home who needs his mother. You're the sheriff! You can do that!
Burt: I can't.
Mary: Burt, it'll ruin you if I go into rehab. Think about that.
Burt: It'll ruin me even if you don't.
Mary: How?
Burt: I have a clean up crime campaign. If I don't follow through, then will the law?
Major's room:
:The Major is lying in his bed while his loved ones surround him:
Major: Well, I guess that it is now time for me to go to that trench up in the sky. :Mary breaks into tears and Burt comforts her: I'm fine now. I have no more pain and I know whom all of you are. Mary :Mary blows her nose: Jessica :Jessica holds his hand: you are both my little girls, no matter how old you get. Billy, Corrine, Eunice, Jodie-.
Jodie: My name is not Jodie! It's Julius! Jodie is a name you would give to a bunny!
Major: Julius, Danny, and Scotty. My grandbabies. I love you all. I am sorry that I will not get to know you, Scott. I love you all and don't you dare forget that. At ease :dies:
Funeral:
:Mary is sitting on the porch swing and Jessica comes out and sits next to her:
Jessica: Would you like some tea?
Mary: Yes :takes the tea from Jessica:
Jessica: Burt told me what the police officer told you. I just want to tell you that I will be there for you no matter what.
Mary: Jessica, I will be fine.
Jessica: I know, but I want to make sure that you will be so that way if I am wrong, you will know that you will always have me.
Mary: I know that, but will I always have Burt?
Jessica: Of course! Burt has turned over a new leaf.
Mary: I can't help but notice that you have something on your mind these last few days.
Jessica: Mary, I just got back from Malaguay and my father is dead.
Mary: No not that. I know that there is something else bothering you.
Jessica: Now that you mentioned it Mary, I just saw a man that I loved died.
Mary: El?
:Jessica nods:
Mary: Oh Jessie :hugs her:
Jessica:Sobs: He was standing there and he died. If I did not rescue him on the plane, then he would still be alive.
Mary: I do not think that he would.
Jessica: He might have had a chance and then he would not get messed up with me. I am cursed Mary. I should probably swear off men forever. I'll be an old maid like Aunt Augusta.
Mary: No Jessie.
Jessica: Yes. Mary, we are not having the best of luck these days.
Mary: No, we aren't.
Jessica: I see that you and Burt made up.
Mary: How long will that last since I am going away? What if he meets some young skinny thing while I am away?
Jessica: It won't be so bad. Besides, I will visit you everyday and so will Burt and the boys.
Mary: Really? Do you think so?
Jessica: Yes, I know so. It won't be so bad.
Mary: But I will be away from Burt and the baby.
Jessica: The baby will not even remember.
Mary: Jess, he is one year old and he can fly.
Jessica: Mary, once you get out of rehab, you will realize that the baby does not fly.
:Burt enters:
Burt: Hey Mare, we better get going. We have to go to that place early tomorrow morning.
Mary: Okay gets up I'll see you later, Jess.
Jessica: It will be sooner than you think :kisses Mary on the cheek:
Mary: I'll go get Scott :exits into the house:
Burt: Jess, what am I going to do with Mary away?
Jessica: I don't know. What are you going to do?
Burt: I asked you now, so what am I going to do?
Jessica: How did you manage when she was, you know:makes a gesture to imply that she was drinking:
Burt: I don't know. I was too busy to realize what I was going to do with that.
Jessica: It'll come to you.
:Baby cries:
Burt: I better go.
Jessica: You'll be fine Burt.
Burt: Thanks Jess :leaves;
Announcer: Will Mary actually go to rehab or will she convince Burt that she is fine? Will Jessica ever get over El Puerco's death or will she end up as an old maid? Now that the Major is gone, will life be quieter in the Tate's house? These questions and many others will be answered on the net episode of SOAP!