Anna sat alone in her metal chair, more dead than alive. She had endured so much torture that the basic act of existing was agony upon every inch of her body. She stared listlessly at the steel shackles locked around her bony wrists. How long she'd been looking at the silver clamps, contrasting violently with her bloody and browning skin, was unknown to her. But suddenly, then, the horrific sound of metal on metal screamed through the corridor and something inside Anna stirred. Another beating was coming. She didn't know what kind of beating she was in for now, but she knew that it would not be any less unspeakable or brutal than all the ones that came before it. The young woman began to shake, but she did not cry, not because she was courageous, but simply because she was literally all out of tears to shed.
An emotionless woman in a doctor's coat stepped into her tiny cell, refusing to meet her eyes. She unlocked Anna's shackles, then threw Anna dismissively across the room. Anna crashed violently into the cell wall and she heard several loud cracks. Had another bone broken? She wouldn't be surprised. She was so thin that there was literally nothing there to protect her from harm anymore. She slumped to the ground and remained spread-eagled on that far side of the cell, unable to even move, let alone get back up.
Meanwhile, the doctor paid her no mind. Instead, she was busily cleaning out the waste bucket set below Anna's chair. That had been her toilet ever since she was dragged down into this literal Hell-hole and the stench coming from it was horrendous. It was a relief, in Anna's mind, that this woman was finally clearing it away. Once all the waste had been washed away, however, the bucket was set right back underneath the chair once again and Anna became her new point of interest. Still lying motionless and slumped up against the wall, Anna knew what was coming next...
The doctor lunged forward suddenly, grabbing Anna's arm and intentionally digging her long nails into the thin layer of flesh that Anna still had. The doctor pulled Anna away from the wall before throwing her against the chair. She repeated this brutal action several times over, slamming Anna's body into the corner of the chair as hard as she could multiple times before grabbing the back of Anna's head and repeating the same action with her face this time. More cracking noises could be heard echoing throughout the cell as Anna's nose and cheek bones began to crack and break from the abuse. Blood began to flow freely, but Anna remained like a ragdoll in the arms of her tormentor. Her flesh continued to bruise, her skin tore open and new welts, bruises and lacerations appeared all over her battered, bony body. Her lip was split side open and both of her eyes turned a near-perfect black.
Once the doctor grew tired to slamming Anna into the back of her own chair, however, she simply threw the girl onto the ground. The torture wasn't done yet, though. Instead, she began to kick Anna viciously, slamming her foot into any part of Anna that it could reach. Blow after blow fell upon the poor girl, striking her stomach, her sides, her limbs, and her head. The doctor intentionally took care not to kick Anna's head too hard, though, because she wanted the girl to feel every single blow and it would do no good to accidently break the girl's skull and leave her unconscious or dead. Anna still needed to survive quite a bit more conditioning and training before she would be ready for the next step…
But then, at long, long last, the torment came to an end. The doctor picked Anna up by the ear and threw her back into her chair, returning the shackles to their place around her wrists. Once they were firmly shut and locked, the doctor took leave of the room and didn't look back even once while as she walked back down the same way she had come. Anna slumped over immediately, dancing in and out of consciousness as the pain from her most recent beating washed over her like a wave, steady and pounding. She couldn't breathe properly, she could barely see, there was a ringing in her ears, and her entire face was gushing with blood. Anna's entire body was throbbing.
Finally, though, the pain subsided enough for Anna to form a conscious thought. This was perhaps the cruelest torment of all. Not only did her abusers come down to her cell sporadically to beat her to near death, but then they subjected her to long bouts of isolation where her body recovered and readied itself for another beating in the future. The beatings were so professionally executed that they ensured Anna would suffer a maximum amount of pain without ever dying or suffering some sort of blow that would cause her to lose her sense of self. They were intentionally pushing her to the brink before dragging her back just to make sure that when they came back, she was still very much in a position to suffer.
"Why me?" she whispered into the darkness as the pain finally subsided a little. "Why me?"
It was a legitimate question to ask, even though it might've sounded silly and overly simplistic. But Anna really couldn't help but wonder, why her? Why had she, out of all the people in the world, been chose for this hellish experiment, or whatever it was? Besides, hadn't she been the very best person that she could have been? Of course, there were mistakes along the way and there were days when she actively fed her more sinful side, but didn't everyone? Did she really deserve this kind of punishment? Was this her reward for living a predominately good and moral life? Or was this honestly some sort of karma for some horrible sin that she had committed without ever even knowing it? What could she possibly have done to deserve this? Was she not innocent? Was this some sort of divine retribution for some sin she had long since forgotten?
No. It wasn't. And Anna knew this. She knew this wasn't divine retribution. It was just bad luck, unsatisfying as that was. But it was true! Her captors hadn't been looking for her specifically, she just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and this was where it landed her. And her captors weren't even religious! This, quite literally, was not divine in any sense. Instead, it was scientific. Her captors were scientists trying to find the key to the afterlife, and they believed that there was a way to send someone there to go and witness, or martyr, what lay beyond the veil and then successfully be brought back in order to tell the secret. They were trying to turn Anna into that perfect vessel to get a preview into the afterlife so that she could report back to them and tell them all that she had seen, and this was their way of getting her ready for the journey.
But that still didn't answer the question of why Anna had to be the chosen martyr. And she was no longer asking this question with a sense of justice or retribution on her mind. She was asking what made her so special that these people were sure she'd be strong enough to be their martyr. What on earth did any of these lunatics see in her that made her appear like the perfect candidate for this little experiment?
As Anna's thoughts and questions rolled on through her throbbing head, the darkest thought of all finally reared its ugly head. What if all of this was in vain? Of course, Anna didn't want to be part of this experiment, but she figured that since she'd endured so much already, the afterlife's secrets were owed to her. It was a selfish and foolish thought, but Anna really was curious now. If this was the price she was paying, she as might as well learn the secret. But what if there wasn't one? What if death really did just stop and there was no secret to tell? Sure, on the one hand, Anna would be free from this god-awful cell, but the concept of total cessation was still rather frightening. The idea that this life was really all she had was both scary and depressing. There was so much she'd never get to do. It would all just… end. And she would never get to see her family or friend again. She would never feel the sun on her back or the grass between her toes. She would never ever escape this place and these unforgiving walls would be her last sight forever. What if this project really was all for nothing? What if all of this suffering had been in vain? It was one of the most tormenting thoughts of all to Anna.
But then, amidst all the darkness and the despair, the softest of voices called out to her.
"Anna?" the voice asked, almost impossible to hear, but Anna managed to catch the strains and she recognized the voice immediately. She relaxed at once, her entire body going limp on reflex as the voice's caressing whispers washed over every inch of her. She continued to bask in that sweet, familiar voice, allowing the words and whispers to continue to swirl all around her body and mind. She surrendered totally and relaxed.
Soon, even her mind was entirely open and empty. There was not a single ounce of resistance in her. She had finally, truly, surrendered her entire being from her control. What followed this total surrender of body, mind, and maybe even soul, was the strangest sense of peace and enlightenment that she had ever felt. It felt as though Anna had given up every last little piece of herself, but somehow, other feelings soon came back to fill that void. By letting go, something was finally reaching out to grab her and pull her back. Suddenly, Anna knew what she had to do…
The true definition of a martyr was just a witness. In this case, it would be a witness to the afterlife. But the secondary definition that always went hand in hand with the first was the definition that stated that a martyr was someone with a cause that they were willing to die for. Anna began to realize that she needed both definitions of the word if she were to successfully complete this mission. If Anna wished to be the martyr that this band of scientists wanted, she needed to be both witness and warrior. She needed to be willing to see beyond the veil, and she needed a purpose that would help carry her there to it.
With this new realization in mind, Anna finally made the decision to let herself die. She wouldn't fight anymore. Maybe with this surrender of her body and mind and choice, she would become the martyr that everyone so desperately wanted her to be. Maybe this surrender would mean the question of the afterlife would be, pardon the pun, eternally put to rest. Maybe, if Anna truly, truly, truly let go, she would finally reach that higher plane of existence. So now, Anna was ready and willing to be a witness.
But what was Anna's cause? What was she willing to be a warrior for? Lucie. Lucie Jurin. Her best friend and more. Lucie had been with Anna longer than anyone else ever had, and Lucie, herself, had once been subjected to all of these torturous evils. The only difference between her and Anna was the fact that Lucie had been subject to all of this at the tender and innocent age of 11, and the demons that sprung forth from this twisted experiment finally got the best of her and shattered her. Anna was in her 30s now and she was still alive, even if only just barely.
But even though Lucie was dead, she was not gone. It seemed that a soul never truly left the place it felt most tied to because, even after Lucie had been put six feet under, there were moments between the shadows of sanity and insanity that Anna was certain she could hear Lucie still whispering to her. It had been Lucie who pulled her through each and every torment long enough for her to survive up until this point. It had been Lucie who whispered to her in the cover of darkness, keeping her company when her tormentors did not visit her cell. It was Lucie and all the beautiful memories Anna shared with her that allowed her to retain some level of who she used to be despite how degrading her tortures were.
Now, Lucie was going to become Anna's cause. She was going to be Anna's reason for living and then dying. She was going to be Anna's reason for enduring this Hell with total acceptance. Lucie had carried her this far already, now she would carry Lucie to the end. With Lucie's spirit at her side, Anna would face her fate with all the willful courageousness and hopeful resoluteness that a martyr required. Hopefully, then, the mission would be complete, and these scientists would never force a single other living soul through this process ever again.
So, Anna would die for Lucie. She would pretend that this surrender would redeem Lucie and set her free. She would pretend that this sacrifice would mend their bond and then Lucie would finally be able to see her again. Any past bad blood between them would be shed out until only love and forgiveness remained. Then, together, they would leave this place and never look back, even if what lay beyond the veil was nothing but an eternal and empty void. Anna was no longer living for herself. She was thinking towards the future that she would never see, praying that once she was successfully martyred, nobody else would ever have to stand in her place again. She was thinking of Lucie, the girl she wanted so desperately to be reunited with. She was coming home very soon…
"And if I can't do it alone, will you be there for me?" Anna asked the phantom voice, tears pricking her bruised and bloody eyes.
"Yes," Lucie's voice murmured lovingly in return.
"I miss you," Anna replied through sore and chapped lips. But she was starting to feel a little less afraid because now, she finally had a cause.
AN: This was based off the 2008 horror film "Martyrs". It's INSANELY graphic and depressing, but it's still a great film.
Obviously, this story is set during Anna's torture, but it's meant to explain what makes her viable as a martyr. Her willingness to take these beatings, as compared to Lucie and the other victims, is what makes her stand out and this was meant to show that in more detail.
It really is a good movie if you can stomach the long torture scenes and nihilistic tone of the film.
Also, this is semi Lucie X Anna but even though I wrote Lucie as Anna's cause, this wasn't necessarily supposed to be romantic. It was the idea that the love the two girls felt for each other even transcended death and that their relationship is something even deeper and more precious and mysterious than romance.