This idea just kind of hit me. Randomly. And I decided to write it.
A test of my abilities with insanity, contradictions, angst, suicidal urges, and a messed up arrancar mindset, I suppose. The character isn't supposed to have a normal arrancar mindset, more of the kind I picture one that was forced to become a hollow and then became the dominant personality.
If owned Bleach, there would be less plot holes. And Ulquiorra wouldn't have died.
i.
She watched him, her mission echoing in her mind.
Destroy him.
Tear him in a way that his soul and heart and mind are shattered and left to the dust. So his will and pride and nature are demolished. So he can feel the cold, the pain, the agony that she was supposed to feel.
She didn't want to do it.
But she had orders.
ii.
She sat down on his bed, close to him but far enough away not to be touched or feel his warmth.
His human warmth.
The aching inside her grew, the cold pulled and twisted inside, not letting her forget what she was to do and the monster she would be for going through with it.
His glasses were on his table, his freshly dressed wounds struck a chord in her.
This wasn't right. This was cruel.
And she was an arrancar. Hollow, cold, alone, monstrous.
This was her mission.
iii.
Clawed fingers settled on his face, just touching him enough to initiate the contact needed.
Then, she was in his dreams.
She manipulated it, changed it, darkened it. She tortured him here, in his mind, in a time and place he could not escape.
She felt him begin to stir and left.
iv.
He was strong, resisting and fighting two weeks of her mental torture.
It was wrong. So very wrong.
She didn't want him to suffer.
She wanted him to bleed, die, scream, cry, hurt, hurt, hurt like she did.
She didn't want that.
She wanted it.
She fought what she was and left him for one night, slinking into the shadows to struggle against herself. She couldn't let it control her, change her. She was a monster but she refused to be that monster. The resenting, hating, cruel demon it wanted her to be.
v.
She stopped her mission for a while to watch him sleep.
Just watch him.
It was oddly pathetic but… His expressions changed in sleep. Sometimes, he was peaceful and that was so… Calming. To see she hadn't broken him yet. To know she wasn't evil yet. To know that maybe, she'd be caught and her prey would be fine.
She could only hope.
But hope wasn't something a hollow should feel.
vi.
She pressed her claws to his face again, letting the long nails touch his cheek, his lips, his forehead. It was almost a caress but not.
Wake up. She begged. End me, stop me.
He resisted her silent pleas and the cold became almost unbearable.
Save me.
vii.
She entered his dreams again, changing them to nightmares, destroying and changing and twisting his memories and thoughts and friendships in his dreams.
He couldn't fight her, as he didn't know it was her.
He couldn't see her, feel her, hear her.
He moved to wake.
And this time, she waited.
viii.
Blue eyes opened and met hers. They widened with understanding and she moved her hand back. Waiting. He hated her kind, he should kill her.
"Why haven't you killed me yet?" He asked.
And she blinked. Then, in her voice, dead and cold and cruel, replied. "Because those were not my orders."
"Aizen… Aizen is still alive?"
"No." She said softly. "But I have to follow them." His eyes hardened and she met them, forcing back her anguish. She was the monster. His enemy. Kill me, kill me, kill me. "I was given few abilities outside of manipulation. My only work is that of a coward."
ix.
The fool let her live, though she doubted it was out of sentiment. More of his weakness due to his inability to use his power. He would get it back.
"Quincy." She growled. "You had better be strong-willed. Or I will break you."
He looked confused, only for a moment, then he was guarded.
"I am low. I am not honorable. I will smash you to bits and claim you and burn you and mock you. Do not give in if you want to live."
Be strong. She wanted to plead. Don't let me win.
x.
It was not his arrows, she found out, that she was to fall to.
He refused to use them.
Instead, he called upon a shinigami.
But finally, finally, she was free.
"Thank you."
Can any of you guess why he asked a shinigami to kill her?