A/N- Hey all. I wrote this a while ago and it was originally intended to be a one shot. BUT it will at least be a two shot now if not a full blown multi chapter fic. I totally forgot about it until Piazzolla Pie demanded I write more fics for her and I went through my fanfic folder to see what I might have started and not finished. SOOO here ya go I'll update this one when I can but I make no promises.

Maura picked up the envelope that was on the floor next to her desk. Maura was written in Jane's handwriting across the front.

"This must have been the envelope that Jane was talking about." Maura thought.

After a recent death scare on the job Angela had insisted that Jane be more careful but of course Jane had not followed her advice and instead chose to make sure she had some things in order just in case.

The detective had walked down to the morgue to drop off some case files when the M.E. had noticed a stack of letters in her hand.

"That time of the month again Jane?" Maura had asked.

Jane had immediately gotten a scared look on her face looking down and behind her to check herself. "What no I didn't think so… wait are we talking about the same thing? What the hell are you talking about?"

Maura tilted her head "Bills Jane…what were you talking about?"

Jane had to laugh a little. "Nothing don't worry about it. Anyway no not bills just some letters I decided to write you know…just in case…"Jane ended in a serious tone.

"Jane…Please don't talk like that…" Maura could feel tears forming in her eyes.

Jane enveloped Maura in a hug. "Shhii-. I'm sorry. I never meant to make you cry." She rubbed comforting circles on the M.E's back trying to calm her down and when Maura had stopped sniffling Jane let her go pulling back and meeting the M.E's eyes. "Listen I gotta go take care of these letters but how 'bout dinner later on me?... Ya know to make up for my lack of sensitivity."

Maura sniffled and Jane wiped the tear from Maura's cheek with her thumb. Maura felt her breath catch. Jane smiled pulling back. "Ok I'll take that as a yes." Jane turned grabbing her envelopes and sauntering out of the morgue. "I'll see you at 6 my place… I'll cook. And yes before you ask ACTUAL food that doesn't come from a cardboard box." Maura nodded and went back to work.

That had been a good two hours ago now and surely Jane had realized she was missing an envelope by now… right? Maura was extremely curious; she was the type of person who liked to know all the facts. She turned the envelope over and over in her hands trying to resist the urge to just open it. For once Maura Isles failed, curiosity got the best of her and she pulled the letter opener out of the top right drawer of her desk and opened the envelope she would find a way to explain it to Jane later.

She unfolded the letter, her mind wandering to what information Jane would possibly want to share with her under such dreary and depressing conditions. She saw Jane's small surprisingly neat left handed handwriting on the paper.

Dear Maura,
If you're reading this something has probably happened to me. I can almost guarantee that I wouldn't have the courage to tell you this face to face. You mean to much to me for me to risk our friendship. You scare me Maura. On the job I am a tough fearless cop, but with you… with you I am utterly and pathetically petrified. I've dreamt about telling you this a thousand times but I know I never could. You are destined for great things Maura Isles, a nice house, some kids and the person you love at your side. What I fear telling you is that more than anything I wish that person at your side was me. I wish that I could wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. I wish I could hold you when you cry, make you laugh and be the last person you say good night to before you go to sleep. I don't want a husband and a house with a white picket fence, because I want all that with you. Well I guess it would be I "wanted" now wouldn't it. I wish that I could have told you all this before Maura… I wish I had a backbone but I know I don't have enough of a backbone to tell you…ever. I couldn't take the rejection that I'm sure I would face if I ever told you this. I'm sorry if you read this and hate me Maura but I felt that I should tell you, that I needed to tell you. I love you Maura Isles, always.

Love,
Jane

Maura wasn't sure why but she wanted to cry. How could Jane feel this way about her? How could she have missed this? Sure their friendship had always been a little closer than most but that was just how they were… wasn't it? Maura racked her brain… Why was did she feel excited like this…?

Maura pulled out her phone and texted Jane.

Jane can we push dinner to 8 I need to go home and feed Bass and take a quick nap I'm not feeling so well.-Maura

Sure… are you sure you don't want to just cancel if you're not feeling well? I'll understand I promise.-Jane

No, but thank you Jane. I think 8 will be fine. See you then! :-)-Maura

Ok see ya then!-Jane

Maura put her phone back into her purse along with the letter. She just needed a little time to process these feelings.

An hour later she had finished her paperwork grabbed her purse and coat and headed for her car. She headed home for a shower and some soul searching before heading to Jane's for her planned dinner.

Arriving home, Maura placed her bag by the doors kicking off her heels at the door and heading for the kitchen, it was a little early for wine but something told Maura that today warranted it.

Maura opened a fresh bottle of wine, and poured herself an extra large glass, she finished it before she even left the kitchen, poured herself another glass, and headed for her bedroom. Maura set her glass on bathroom sink. She stripped her clothes and climbing into her extra large luxurious shower.

As the water cascaded down her body, her mind wandered back to Jane. She had entertained thoughts about Jane in the past but just assumed that their close working relationship had caused lines to be blurred between friendship and something more, however now she couldn't help but wonder if it was something deeper.

Maura had thought that her need for Jane was just on the this side of the thin line between friendship and something more, however now she wasn't sure. As she washed her body she couldn't help but wonder what Jane's hands would feel like caressing her skin. Maura shook her head as if this would suddenly erase these new and slightly surprising thoughts.

She stepped out of the shower wrapping herself in a large towel and took a large gulp from her wine. She had a feeling tonight was going to be a long night. She dressed casually in a pair of designer jeans some ballerina flats and a silk button up shirt. Jane might not be so fond of these buttons by the end of the night…

The thought shocked Maura even more than the ones in her shower. She packed an overnight back just in case she spent the night at Jane's… one way or another…she thought. She finished her second glass of wine, and headed out to her kitchen to make sure that Bass had enough food and water to last him till tomorrow. When she saw exactly how much wine she had consumed she decided as much as she detested the unsanitary conditions of taxicabs it was her only safe option to get to Jane's and dialed the number of a cab company she quickly ordered a cab.

While waiting Maura finished yet another two larges glasses of wine polishing off the first bottle completely, the cab pulled up a few minutes later and honked impatiently. Maura grabbed her purse and overnight bag and headed for the cab. When she opened the door she saw the horrid conditions of the interior. The driver himself looked like a nice man, but had the distinct odor of week old anchovy pizza mixed with wet dog.

She closed the back door opening the front, she fumbled with her wallet for a $50 bill she handed it to the driver thanking him for coming all the way out and informing him that in fact she would not be needing his services. Maura walked back into her house dialing Jane's cell phone number and opening another bottle of wine.

Jane had spent her time after work preparing simple spaghetti with her Nona's famous secret meatball recipe. Jane was excited for this dinner, Maura had never really tasted her cooking before and she was eager to show off her limited cooking skills to Maura. She had just finished setting the table when she heard her phone ringing.

Jane picked up her phone noticing Maura's number on the front. The detective hoped Maura wasn't calling to cancel their dinner.

"Hello Jane!" Maura Isles said slightly more bubbly than normal.

"Maura… ? What's up? Are you still coming for dinner?" Jane asked walking back over to check the pasta.

Her Nona had taught her that the sure fire way to tell if pasta was done was to throw it against the wall, if it stuck it was done. Jane pulled out a noodle and lopped it at the wall behind her stove. Sure enough, the noodle stuck like glue. She smiled it was done.

"Jaaneeee" Maura whined. "I don't mean to be a bother but can you come pick me up? I am in no condition to drive at the moment."

Jane's face scrunched in concern. Maura never whined. "Sure Maur I'll be right over."

"Thank youuuuuu" Maura said before hanging up the phone.

Jane looked put her phone on the counter. She decided to pack up dinner and bring it to Maura's. Jo Friday would like Maura's yard better tonight anyway.

Jane loaded dinner and Jo in the car and headed to Maura's. A few minutes later Jane pulled into Maura's driveway. She pulled the large pot of Nona's famous spaghetti and meatballs out of the back seat as Jo bounded out of the car and up to the door barking and yipping happily. She opened the door and walked through the hall placing the pot on the kitchen counter looking for her favorite M.E.

"Maura!" Jane yelled.

"In here!" Maura yelled from the living room.

Jane found Maura on the couch desperately trying to get an open bottle of wine with on the coffee table with her right arm that was too close to her right side.

"Jaaaanneeeee" Maura whined. "Hellpppp me. It's too close and I can't reach it. The human arm is NOT supposed to bend this way." She grumbled.

Jane snickered.

"Um.. Maur.. why don't you reach across with your left hand and get it."

Realization dawned on the doctor and she giggled.

"OHH Yea!" Maura swiftly reached across her body grabbing the bottle with an unsteady hand and poured herself another generous glass.

Jane looked suddenly concerned. "Maura how much have you had to drink?"

Maura paused for a moment in thought. "I believe the saying is it's five o'clock someplace…" Maura said smiling as she downed the glass of wine polishing off the second bottle.

Jane couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "It's five o'clock somewhere not someplace… way to murder a Jimmy Buffet song, but you were close. However, that still doesn't answer my question. HOW much have you had to drink Maura?"

Maura ticked off on her fingers uncertainly before arriving at an answer.

"This is the third bottle." She said as she popped the cork on another large bottle of wine.

Jane raced over and plucked the bottle from the shorter woman before she had a chance to pour herself another glass.

"Aww Jane gimme back my wine." Maura pouted as she pushed herself off the couch swaying slightly before moving toward the woman who currently had her wine.

"Maura what's with the sudden binge drinking? Do you wanna talk about it Maura? Cuz if you need to talk I'm he-mmph" Jane was cut off by Maura's finger on her lips.

Jane was currently holding the bottle above her head as Maura groped for it.

"You have very soft lips Jane. Very very soft.."Maura muttered leaning against her friend.

Maura leaned in removing her finger from Jane's mouth and replacing it with her lips.

Jane froze at the feeling of Maura's lips upon hers. Maura's moved her lips against Jane's feeling the detective relax slightly she ran her tongue across Jane's lower lip. Jane opened her mouth allowing Maura access.

Tasting the wine on Maura's lips and tongue Jane's brain kicked back into gear and she pulled away suddenly. Maura was drunk, she couldn't take advantage of her best friend like this. With all of her will power Jane took a hold of Maura's arms and pushed the doctor back to arms length.

"Maura what are you doing your drunk?" Jane said attempting to get her drunken friend to look at her.

"Less talking Jane more kissing that was nice." Maura leaned in once again trying to recapture Jane's lips only to have Jane forcefully steer her to the couch and sit her down.

"I'm not letting this happen drunk Maur. I need to sober you up some let me get you some spaghetti to absorb some of that alcohol."

"I am NOT drunnnnkk Jane!" Maura said. She continued to ramble about the rate at which her body would metabolize alcohol as Jane went to the kitchen to fix her a plate, attempting not to think about how amazing Maura's lips had felt against her own.

TBC…