a/n: As I'm winding down my Breyton fic 'Model Misbehaving' I hope to have more time to focus on the Brachel stuff, that is considering that I don't get sidetracked by any more plot bunnies. As it is I've got an idea I'm tossing around for a Victoria centric fic. Anyway, like I said it's just an idea I've had for a while so it may or may not become anything, also I've converted this series all under the title Keep Breathing Series and posted it to my homepage .com , the title is from a poem written by Rainer Maria Rilke. Enjoy
I Am Much Too Alone In This World, Yet Not Alone
Disclaimer: all characters are the property of the cw and schwahn.
"A robbery at closing time, vicious attack …Rach?"
"We don't know if it's the same guy. You never saw his face, it could be a coincidence?" even as the words leave her mouth she knows it's not the truth.
"Do you really think that…" Haley looks decidedly uncomfortable. Growing up she had a great mom and aside from Deb sporadically giving her the cold shoulder throughout the beginning of her marriage to Nathan, she has no clue as to how to handle a habitually bitchy mother.
"She hired some lowlife to rob the store?" Brooke fills in the blank, "Maybe she wasn't really aiming for me. Millie said Velociraptoria came in earlier that day and threaten her when Millie wouldn't hand over my sketches." Brooke's body begins to tremble uncontrollably and she's finding it hard to breathe under the weight of the carnage her mother may or may not have created. "Oh God, how could she do something so horrible, he…he was going to rape me. He had me pinned to the ground and was pulling down his pants when those passing fire trucks scared him off. My mother, the woman that gave birth to me, she was the cause of that and for what, huh? Money? Useless pieces of paper to buy unnecessary crap to fill up the black hole where her heart should be. How could she be so…and what does that say about me that I'm related to someone who could do that to their own flesh and blood? How can you love me Rachel, how can you even stand to touch me? "
Damn it all to hell if Rachel doesn't hate Victoria Davis with every fiber of her being. We're talking drop an anvil on her head, toss her off a 200 foot cliff, strap her to 80 tons of T.N.T. and push the plunger kind of hate.
"I love you Brooke, I do! You are so kind and the simple fact that you are horrified over her actions proves that you are nothing like that monster." Rachel says with conviction.
"If she's a monster then what does that make me?" Brooke's heartbroken question leaves them all at a loss for how to respond.
"You're Aunt Brooke!" Jamie exclaims, in such a matter-of-fact voice that it leaves no room for argument. He climbs up onto the coffee table and onto Brooke's lap "You're my best friend who helped me stand up for myself and painted my racecar the color I wanted. You took care of baby Angie and loved her even though she wasn't yours. Every time I'm sad you give me a big hug and tell me it's gonna be okay and it is. You're the best Godmomma in the world and I love you Aunt Brooke." his tiny hands brush away the tears cascading down her face.
"Little J is right, so no more bad mouthing the woman I intend to one day marry." The words slip out of her mouth and Rachel purses her lips realizing her folly. Honestly, could she be more of a cliché? They had only just made love for the first time last night and already she has them picking out wedding china! Oh, and never mind the fact that the day after their first kiss she took Grandma Gattina's engagement ring out of her safety deposit box and has been itching for the right moment to pop the question.
Brooke's eyes widen at the unexpected declaration but as the words sink in she finds herself warming up to the idea of becoming Mrs. Rachel Gattina. With Jaime snuggling into her side, Brooke can clearly picture what their life as a married couple would be like and that heat she has come to only associate with Rachel forms in her chest and rapidly begins to spread throughout her entire body leaving a feeling of peaceful euphoria in it's wake.
Rachel watches her lover closely, looking for any signs of distress over her ill timed words but as she stares deeply into those fathomless hazel orbs she's floored by the love and hope reflecting back at her.
"You've thought about us getting married?" Brooke asks quietly
"Well…yeah, I may have had some thoughts on the subject." Rachel shrugs nervously . "About a half dozen or so nauseatingly adorable dimpled brats running around, touching my designer dresses with their sticky hands."
"As long as there are a few infuriatingly beautiful red headed nuisances strutting around like they own the joint and you have yourself a deal." Brooke smiles, squeezing her hand to let Rachel know she feels the same.
"Now that that's settled," Jaime interrupts, "kiss her already so we can have breakfast." hopping off the table, he makes room for Rachel to take Brooke into her arms.
"You heard the man." leaning forward Rachel presses a whisper of a kiss to Brooke's pouty lips. What starts out as a chaste kiss quickly escalates as Rachel finds herself wanting to prove her love beyond a shadow of a doubt.
"You know, if all you guys are gonna do is suck each others face off, we can come back later." Peyton sighs and the pair reluctantly separates.
" Sorry guys," Brooke apologizes, panting softly she pulls out of her lovers embrace. "Jaime, why don't you help me set up the game while Rach starts breakfast, ok buddy?" the little blond nods his head, grabs Brooke by the hand and leads her upstairs.
Rachel watches until they disappear, she grabs the phone and with shaky fingers, punches in a number. "Hey, it's Rachel. Get security section to send over the team I hand picked last week, I want at least one guard posted at the river-house and the office at all times. And send Parkman to New York, he already has his orders." hanging up she runs a hand through her auburn locks, frustrated she lets out a deep breath.
"What was that all about?" Haley's question causes her to jump slightly, forgetting she wasn't alone in the room. Turning to the other women she glances towards the stairs before responding.
"Ever since Brooke told me about the attack, I've had a feeling that Vamptoria has had a hand in it somehow so I put together a team of security guards for Brooke's protection just in case."
"That was good thinking, do you truly believe that Bitchtoria is behind the attack?" Haley questions skeptically
"The woman is pure evil, for as long as I can remember she's always treated Brooke like an unwanted burden. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you told me Victoria was in fact Keyser Soze." Peyton snorts.
"That bitch could spend all of eternity rotting away in Hell and it still wouldn't be a harsh enough punishment for all that she's done. One things for sure, she will never get within 100 feet of Brooke without having to deal with me." Rachel vows, her tone is so cold that Haley is almost afraid for Brooke's so called mother if she ever crosses Rachel, almost.
Sitting alone at the counter, Sam is frozen in her seat. Her eyes glued to the front of The Tree Hill Register and the mugshot of the burglar that was captured late last night. Xavier Daniels, a.k.a X as he loves to go by, skezzy brother of her best friend Jack was lurking about the hallway of Jack's tiny house when Sam stopped by one night weeks ago to venomously vent after Brooke caught her shoplifting at C/B. She initially dismissed X's creepy vibes when he told her that 'stuck up rich bitches like that needed to be put in their place', as his usual drunken rants against anyone who had more than he did. But now, staring at the black and white picture of the man caught red handed robbing and savagely beating an old man to a pulp, Sam wishes for once that she had just kept her big mouth shut.
Two Weeks Later…
Jumping for the rebound, Lucas grunts snagging the ball from Skills' outstretched hands and dribbles out of the zone for an easy 3-pointer. The dull orange ball swishes through the net, effectively ending the game. Typical male handshakes are exchanged as they head over to the river court picnic table to cool off with a bottle of water.
"Nate, where's little J. Luke today?" Skills asks as he towels off his bald head
"He's playing decoy, hanging out with Sam while Haley and Peyton help Brooke and Rachel decorate the house for Sam's birthday party."
"And you're o.k. with that?" Lucas asks incredulously
"Why wouldn't I be o.k. with it?"
"I don't know," Lucas shrugs non-committedly "there's just something about that kid that rubs me the wrong way. She spent her first couple of weeks in school sitting in the principal's office, and with her background and living arrangement I just don't think she's the type of person you'd want Jaime hanging with."
"According to Hale's, Sam's doing great in school now. She's not getting into any fights, her grades are excellent and Haley contributes that to her stable home life. Jaime likes hanging out with her and Sam's shown she's responsible enough to try and set a good example for him" Nathan rolls his eyes, tired of having this same conversation with Lucas. Ever since the discovery of Rachel and Brooke's relationship Lucas has come up with several implausible reasons why Jaime shouldn't spend time at the river-house.
"I'm just saying that that…lifestyle may be confusing for him, besides Jaime likes Dan too but I don't see you setting them up on play dates." the comparison is weak and even he knows it. Dan killed his own brother in cold blood and Sam is just a troubled teenager who just so happens to be living with his ex- girlfriend and her lesbian lover. If he's honest with himself Lucas would admit that what really bothers him is how accepting everyone has been over Brooke's new relationship. Once upon a time he considered himself the love of Brooke Davis' life and a small part of his ego was secretly pleased when it seemed as though the beautiful brunette would forever carry a torch for him.
Then Rachel blew back into town, single-handedly solving the mystery of Brooke's injuries and getting her the help she needed, helped Brooke plan that major coup to take control of the company and apparently in her spare time she rescues orphans and finds them homes. As much as he hates to admit it he's jealous, Rachel has managed to make Brooke happier than he's ever seen her and has given her the one thing he was never able to; a family.
"Brooke is Jaime's godmother, she always has his best interest in mind and would never expose him to anything indecent." Nathan answers hotly
"Speaking of Davis," Skills quickly puts an end to the ensuing argument, "we'd better go home and get cleaned up, wouldn't want her to kick our asses if we ruin the surprise." The brothers nod, gather their sweats and head towards the car.
"Is it straight?" Haley asks Peyton who just walked through the back door to stand behind Haley on the step stool.
"Lift the corner of the banner a quarter of an inch higher and it's perfect." she instructs the other girl, looking around the room at the decorations still waiting to be hung she asks, "Where's Brooke, I thought she was helping you in here while Rachel and I covered up Sam's big present outside?"
"Ask yourself where's Rachel and you'll locate Brooke." Haley snorts, hopping down from the stool
"Oh come on, again!" Peyton exclaims, "That's like the third time in two hours they snuck off to make out, at this rate we're never going to have this finished by the time Sam gets home."
Upstairs in the master bathroom, Brooke has Rachel pressed against the wall, mouths locked in a smoldering kiss. Their bodies molding perfectly together and Brooke can't imagine ever thinking she could have belonged to another. She had never really been attracted to other girls before, unlike Rachel who has alluded to being with other women. She has often wondered in the last few weeks if Rachel doubts her commitment to their new found love but if she's really honest with herself she had developed feelings for Rachel almost from the moment they met. Brooke vehemently swore that her initial rejection of Rachel from her cheerleading squad was because of the um, risque dance routine she performed at try-outs but truthfully Brooke was scared shitless by the butterflies break dancing in her lower belly.
Rachel's tongue skillfully penetrates her mouth again and again sending electrical currents of pleasure down Brooke's spine. She firmly presses her thigh in between Rachel's legs and moans deeply when Rachel grips her ass pulling her closer. She shifts to the left angling to reach her hand up Rachel's shirt, cupping the red heads full breast.
"Seriously guys, if you don't come downstairs right now Haley and I are leaving!" leaning against the door frame, Peyton crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as the pair disengages their limbs and straighten their clothes all the while muttering about nosy friends and unlocked doors.
"Surprise!" they exclaim, pulling the white cloth off to reveal a shiny black GTV 250 Vestpa Scooter. Sam stares in awe, no one has ever been as kind to her as this motley group of people. In all of her 16 years she can't ever remember celebrating her birthday, hell if it wasn't for her birth certificate she doubts she'd know what day she was born.
"What, you don't like the color?" Brooke asks as Sam just stands there gaping at the scooter. Approaching the bike apprehensively she reaches out to touch it just to make sure this is really happening. The glossy black paint matches her nail polish perfectly. She can see their reflection in the side mirror, the smiling faces expecting her to be happy in return is like a sledgehammer to her gut. She remembers seeing Brooke around town a few days after that brutal attack, the horrible bruises that she wanted to believe were caused by a car accident or in some other innocuous manner but past experience enabled Sam see the truth laid buried right beneath the surface. To know that she was the cause for that violation and the deaden look in Brooke's eyes was too much for Sam to bear.
"I can't do this. I can't be here anymore." racing into the house, she heads straight for her bedroom to grab the backpack jammed packed with her meager belongings but before she can make a clean getaway Rachel and Brooke are entering the room, concern swimming in their eyes.
"Sam what's going on?" Brooke asks in that motherly tone she's developed lately. "I thought we were getting along ok, finally past the petty bickering but you've been acting weird or weirder at least around me lately. I think it may have been all of the baby talk, please tell me you're not feeling out of place because that's just silly?"
"Well that's just dumb, Sam you're apart of our family a huge part." Rachel scoffs, "I mean, who else is going to help me when Brooke bails on diaper duty?"
This is it, the moment of truth she has been dreading for two weeks. Sam takes a step back away from her foster family as she mentally prepares herself to deliver this devastating blow. She's sweating and her throat threatens to close up on her as she chokes back the tears she doesn't deserve to shed.
"After you caught me shoplifting in your store, I was with some friends and I said some really awful things about you. I didn't know…I never asked him to do it Brooke I swear…I didn't mean it…I'm sorry." reaching between the mattress and box-spring she pulls out a handful of crumpled papers and with shaky hands passes them over to Brooke. The top page is a sketching of a woman wearing a knee length red trench coat and black boots and in the bottom left hand corner is the C/B logo. Brooke's breath hitches in her throat and she turns deathly pale. Rachel grasps her upper arms as Brooke sways momentarily no doubt replaying that horrendous night again in her head. "I'm sorry." she says again but either they don't hear her or don't care as she quietly slips out into the hallway to find the entire group staring at her with a mix of confusion and disgust. The tears are flowing freely now and the last sound she hears when she closes the door are Brooke's anguished sobs.
a/n: Per Ravenscircle's request I made this chapter longer, thanks again for the read through and feedback I really appreciate it. As much as I loved Sophia kicking butt in the confrontation with X I'm not going to add that here, sorry. And don't worry Sam may be gone for a few days but hopefully she won't put herself in any danger.