Notes: Disclaimed -Harry Potter © J. K. Rowling: criticism welcomed
Eve Esta King sat in the Leaky Cauldron, awaiting the return of his uncle. Gregory (his uncle that was always, even by Eve, referred to as King) was trying to get back to the table, but had been way-laid by some over attentive females. They saw him as their Eros -- blond, blue-eyed, tall, and muscularly lithe -- and were scrambling for attention. Now you might ask why he was so perfect in appearance when his eleven-year-old nephew looked like some Spriggan changeling. It's simple: King is half-kitsune, meaning that, not only did he get his father's looks, he was also uber-strong and magical, even though 'uber' isn't a real word.
Eve, on the other hand, is only a quarter-kitsune, quarter-muggle, and half-wizard (which adds up correctly, mind you). In other words, he got shit. No illusionary magic and barely passable wizard magic, along with a mean demeanor and personality. Of course, the later wasn't entirely his heritage's fault; the boy's name was also to blame. Due to some quirky history, he was stuck with a girl's name for his own, the Spanish word for 'that' as his middle name, and a common noun for his last name. That combination would make anyone insane and hateful. On the upside, he had a cat, Ivan the Terrible. Despite the name, Ivan was the most laid-back, loving creature alive. Quite the contrast. Anyhow, Ivan went everywhere with Eve, carried in the messenger back that seemed terribly over-sized for Eve's petite, almost-malnourished, frame.
Enough about Eve and his accosted uncle. The only other thing left to know about Eve (since King will disappear forever shortly) is his role in this story. He is the antagonist.
Since we have introduced the antagonist in a long, overdrawn, info-dump it is only right that the protagonists be introduced in much the same fashion.
The bouncy, perky, and did we mention bouncy? sixteen year old was having a ball of a time. She had just bought her school supplies (just transfered to Hogwarts, you know!) from Flourish and Blotts, where Eve will shortly be purchasing the Necronomicon and his school supplies, and was currently occupied by the pets. Of course, Celestial Sunlight Maryweather didn't need a pet, she already had her pet phoenix. No, Celestial Sunlight Maryweather was delaying. Why, if you are all that interested, you would ask? She didn't want to meet her twin sister, Moon Shadow Maryweather, the angsty obviously-Slytherin oppressed white middle class goth who hated commas.
That was their only common ground: the hatred of punctuation and anything even close to feasible English. Since I, the author, rather like grammar we're keeping it. Back on topic! Celestial Sunlight Maryweather hated her sister because Moon Shadow Maryweather was goth, and Celestial Sunlight Maryweather was prep. Going with the stereotypes, they wanted each other dead as a dead thing because of that uncrossable, unbreakable boundary.
Oh, wait! Celestial Sunlight Maryweather was drop-dead gorgeous. She had flowing, thick curls (that somehow managed to remain curls, nevermind the length and weight of her hair) that could be comparable to ripened wheat, or spun gold, or sunlight in a peaceful, summer clearing that housed unicorns and songbirds and squirrels and such. Her figure was perfect, emaciated and voluptuous at the same time. Absolutely stunning. And what a rack she had! Bouncy, perky D-cup breasts of equal size and distance (all natural, I assure you!) that strained elegantly against her tasteful gold and red baby-tee. The author's fingers hurt from typing awkwardly, so we'll just simplify and say she was beautiful, with beautiful eyes, face, mouth, nose, rump, legs, arms, hands, ears, and so on. She was damned sexy, too. But virginal and innocent, since Celestial Sunlight Maryweather was unaware of her own beauty, despite the time she took making it stand out every morning.
Celestial Sunlight Maryweather was by far, in her own opinion, much more beautiful (yet oblivious) than her only C-cup, anorexic yet slender instead of starved, black-haired, blood-red streaked, scarred freak of a sister with multi-color eyes that change depending on her mood who cut herself in conspicuous places after being raped by her boyfriend (ignoring the fact that they had only ever made out) and emotionally handicapped as a result, not as a cause of him dumping her to save himself.
Moon Shadow Maryweather was brooding in the bookshop, after being abandoned -- abandoned, of all things! -- by that hell-bitch of a sister. 'Hell-bitch' was Moon Shadow Maryweather's creative title for Celestial Sunlight Maryweather. (Celestial Sunlight Maryweather's nickname for Moon Shadow Maryweather was 'Psycho-bitch', because she was creative too.) She thought that Celestial Sunlight Maryweather's appearance (neither really had an actual personality, so appearance was all they cared about) was preppy and disgustingly cheerful, even though that doesn't really fit in with appearance. Goth was such a rebel label, and Moon Shadow Maryweather totally fit the part in her black clothing, black makeup, black angst, black... other stuff, and black, soulless persona. Moon Shadow Maryweather's natural name even fit the title, oddly enough! The only special possession she had (besides her black, shadow/phantom/ghost cat) was her diary, where she wrote the most depressing, heart-felt poetry her gothiness could come up with. It was all deep, talking about depression, suicide, the rape mentioned earlier, and angstangstangstangst.
The author's fingers really hurt now, so she's stopping. Next up: possible plot? and the sorting. Yay! (We're just gonna skip everything important, unless the author feels like writing it.) How many clichés can you count? And they continue below!
Edited:no; Well-thought-out: no; Review-whoring: yes (please).