This is strongly based on the story Bonding with Bakura by Spirithorse. Thank you for letting me do another! Uh, more drunk pharaohs and other Egyptian nonsense. I did this one fast, so sorry if it sucks.
Bakura walked toward Yami, who was sitting at the bar, with a scowl already in place. He sat down, waving his hand in a noncommittal gesture toward the bartender. The man nodded, passing Bakura a drink and going back to his conversation with Marik, who was sober for once.
"Hey," mumbled Bakura, looking at Yami out of the corner of his eyes. The pharaoh nodded, taking a swig of his own drink. Behind him, Marik was ordering a very complicated drink that he had apparently memorized the ingredients of. The bartender looked like he was listening intently, but he seemed to be watching Marik's lips move more than he was hearing what he was saying.
"Hi," replied Yami, not knowing what else to say. Bakura was usually the one to start a conversation, and Yami had left the house without a knee to the ribs today. The thief was not the person Yami wanted to be with at this point, and hoped to Ra Yugi would decide to cancel their meetings.
No one was sure why Marik came. He was currently asking the bartender what his name was. "Steve," was the reply, dripping with want, and Marik grinned devilishly.
"Well, your Highness, have any good duels lately?" Yami tightened his hands into fists, using all of his willpower not to punch Bakura in the face. "No," was his forced answer, causing Bakura's silly smirk to widen. "Didn't get kicked out of bed?" Here we are, the only thing we can ever think to talk about, thought the Pharaoh. Yami turned fully toward Bakura, wanting to enjoy this moment.
"No, actually, we did it before I got here." Bakura's eye twitched, jealousy almost getting the better of him as he thought about his departure.
Bakura growled playfully, tackling Ryou to the bed and rolling him over. His hikari laughed, blushing under all of the thief's kisses. Squirming childishly, he managed to escape Bakura's prison and switched their positions, capturing Bakura's lips with his own. He pulled away, gasping for air, and caught sight of the clock above their bed. The time didn't register as Bakura ran warm hands up and down his sides.
"You want some?" asked Bakura, sitting up with Ryou straddling him. The hikari could only nod, kissing Bakura's neck. He was tempted to tear Bakura's shirt off of him until he saw the time again. He knew there was something important Bakura had to do.
"So I can skip the meeting?" asked Bakura, his hands traveling lower.
His eyes widened and he pushed Bakura out of the bed, throwing his keys from the table at him. "You need to go, love," he said, getting up as well and pulling the thief onto his feet. Bakura groaned, kissing Ryou forcefully and trying to steer him back to the bed, but the hikari would have none of it.
"Get the hell out, Bakura!" he squealed, his hair falling into his eyes as he jerked his head away. "Why should I? We're never going to get along, I might as well stay here with you." Ryou rolled his eyes, stroking Bakura's face tenderly.
"But I want you to try."
"I won't." Ryou's eyes narrowed, staring Bakura into submission. The thief refused to break down, instead breaking eye contact and sitting on the bed.
"You'd better do what I told you to, Bakura," said Ryou menacingly, leaning so he and Bakura were nose-to-nose.
"Why?" he asked cheekily, smirking.
"If you don't go, no sex for a week."
Bakura shot up, kissing Ryou on the cheek on the way out the door.
Yami snapped his fingers, breaking Bakura out of his trance. He glared at the pharaoh, eyes widening at something over his shoulder. Yami turned, and watched Marik make the bartender give all the money in the cash register to him. Marik, in the middle of counting his newly acquired funds, looked up and saw them staring at him.
"What?" he snapped, but the two just shook their heads and went back to their drinks. "Are you sure you haven't dueled anyone?" Yami made an exasperated sound, shaking his head more forcefully. "I would know if I beat someone to a bloody pulp, Bakura." The thief king shrugged, muttering about 'sodding pharaohs' and the 'sticks up their asses'. Yami smiled, ordering another drink. It was going to be a long night if he didn't get smashed.
"Remember the girl you had sex with that one time?" inquired Bakura. Neither of them was even tipsy yet, which was awful, and they had an hour and a half to go. Yami thought about it, but couldn't see a face. "You mean in my sarcophagus? No." Bakura chuckled to himself, shaking his head disappointedly.
Yami looked confused. "Should I?" he asked, still searching for a name or a face.
Bakura paused, taking a drink, and glanced at Yami. "I think it was me." Yami didn't have the major breakdown both of them were expecting; instead, he agreed and turned back to the bar. Bakura looked incredulously at him, willing his brain to be drunker. "Well?" he asked, leaning closer.
"Well what?" asked the pharaoh, ordering his third beer. He didn't think he could hold his liquor this well. "We had sex. Ok. You and Marik had sex, didn't you?" Bakura opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I can't wait 'till I'm home." Just then, Marik giggled and touched the bartender's hand. Steve smiled, passing Marik another drink, and watched the Egyptian down it happily. It looked like it was going to be a good night for one person, at least.
"So what you're telling me is-," Yami slurred, trying to make eye contact with Bakura but failing miserably. "You're telling me you haven't had sex in a whole day?" Bakura shook his head sadly, taking another shot. "Ryou has too much schoolwork, apparently." Yami nodded, or thought he was. It was actually more of a rocking motion of his whole body.
"So does aibou. But he puts it off for time with me." Bakura looked very sad for a moment, but his eyes brightened. "When I get home, we're going to have some wild, drunk sex." Yami laughed loudly, almost falling off of the barstool. Every light around him seemed a thousand times brighter, and they were all reflecting off of the startling whiteness that was Bakura's hair.
"I'm going to have some wild, drunk sex as well," said Yami, looking around for Marik. The Egyptian was on the floor, leaning his head against one of the barstool's legs. "Way better than you and Ryou." Bakura made a sound that was supposed to be derisive, but ended up sounding more like he was choking. Yami looked up at him, then decided he didn't care and looked around for Marik, forgetting he had already found him.
Marik whined, climbing up Yami's leg and holding his collar in his hands. "I'm not going to have any drunk sex ever!"
Bakura giggled to himself, peering at his reflection in the mirrors in the back. Yami tried to extricate himself from Marik's grasp, but couldn't remember which muscles controlled his hands. "What about Steve?" he asked, almost bumping noses with Marik. The Egyptian shrugged, letting go of Yami and falling back to the floor. Bakura looked at Yami suddenly, seeming completely sober.
"Why is Marik always here?" he asked, the alcohol prevalent in his voice. "I want some sex!" Marik cried out from under a table in their vicinity, shocking the hell out of Yami. Bakura shrugged, unconsciously leaning closer to Yami.
"I have a secret to tell you," he whispered, loosing all volume control and very nearly yelling at Yami. The pharaoh was too drunk to notice, nodding excitedly. "Ryou said no more sex today." Yami gasped in a way that would be obviously fake if both parties were not plastered. Bakura nodded, genuinely upset, and took Yami's hands in his.
"This is very important, Pharaoh. I need you to do something for me." Yami blinked, raising an eyebrow.
"I need you to have sex for me tonight." Yami stood up, pulling his hands out of Bakura's and putting his right over his heart. He almost fell, but was righted when Marik crawled past him, searching for pennies.
"I, Yami, swear to you that I will have mind-blowing sex all night with Yugi, and I will enjoy it." Marik started to clap, stealing Yami's seat and somehow managing to stay on it. Bakura's eyes filled with tears, smiling happily. "Thank you, Yami." Marik whooped a couple of times, downing the rest of Yami's beer. Yami bowed, tripping over his own feet and falling to the floor.
"Did you tell Yugi yet?" Yami shook his head, unsure of what Bakura was talking about. "I would."
"Would what?" asked Yami, startled to find that his seat was empty again.
"Tell Yugi." Yami laughed.
"That's not what I was talking about."
"I would tell Ryou if I wanted him to top." Yami remembered part of their 'conversation' the other night, pretty sure he revealed he liked his hikari as seme.
"I didn't tell him yet. I will." Bakura shook his head disapprovingly, almost face-planting onto the bar. He burst out laughing, instead tipping backward. Marik caught him, sitting him upright. Yami was about to praise the kind gesture until Marik leaned over Bakura's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist.
"I think we should have drunken sex now." Bakura nodded, falling back into Marik's arms. Yami was sober enough to know Bakura was making a mistake, and pried the Egyptian off him. Marik whined, waving Yami away and going back to his pennies on the floor. Bakura looked around and realized what he almost did, downing another shot.
"Thanks man," he muttered, looking at Yami gratefully. "Ryou wouldn't appreciate that." Yami grinned, standing up and walking over to Marik. He accidentally kicked over Marik's stack of pennies, and had to apologize profusely. He looked at the digital clock across from him, counting on his fingers.
"We got drunk in an hour." Bakura laughed, falling off his stool into the mess of dirty pennies. Marik hit on him again, slurring meaningless phrases together and trying to get them to make a pick-up line. "Uh-huh," agreed Bakura, stumbling to his feet and hanging onto Yami. "We have a whole 'nother hour, your Highness," he giggled, looking down at Marik.
Yami grinned, pointing to the clock. "Just kidding, man. Five hours left."
"Five hours!" shouted Marik, finding his way back to Yami's chair and brandishing a fistful of pennies. He threw them, frowning as they clattered to the floor. Yami frowned as well, looking for Bakura. "Five seconds. Minutes. What?" Bakura found some more of the shots he had ordered and drank them all, blacking out for a second. Or, what he thought was a second. It turned out to be ten minutes or so.
When his eyes reopened, Yami was standing over him, holding Marik up and making to leave. At least he didn't leave Bakura there to fend for himself.
"No more time honey," he said, waving to Bakura. "Catch you on the flip side!" Marik cackled, his head falling onto Yami's shoulder. Bakura nodded, getting up himself and falling to the floor. He groaned, his head swimming, and somehow managed to hail a cab and get the address of his house correct.
When Bakura woke up, with a giant headache, mind you, he was in his own bed with Ryou sleeping peacefully next to him. He kissed the boy's forehead and sat up, running his hands through his hair. Ryou held him around the waist, laying his head in the thief's lap as he continued to sleep. Bakura recalled, with vivid intensity, the pharaoh's promise, and wondered absently if he made good on it.
Ryou woke up slowly, the heat from Bakura's body rousing him gently. "You made it, baby," muttered Ryou, kissing Bakura's side. "How did it go?"
"Better than usual. Do I get sex now?" Ryou laughed, sitting up as well and nodding. "Yes, you get sex." Bakura hissed, jumping on Ryou and smothering him with kisses. Ryou managed to push him away for a second, finishing his sentence.
"If," he continued, "You go for another round. Yugi and I already worked it out." Bakura groaned. Another!?
That's right bitches! I did it, what?! It can't compare to the original (spirithorse is the shit), but I did my best, and I think it went great!