Disclaimer: No.
Note: This is rather choppy and curt. Ignore the writing style if you find it distasteful?
--
Beautiful Natsuki.
Innocent Natsuki.
Pure Natsuki.
She wasn't sure what little pinprick of madness in Fujino Shizuru spawned these beliefs, but since it made her befriend her, like her, love her, she chose to play the part that Shizuru created for her.
She did not know which was scarier. The fact that she had been pretending to be the Natsuki Shizuru loved all this time, or the fact that the role fit like a glove.
Ever since then, she became the Kuga Natsuki that Shizuru knew.
--
Ever Since Then
Requited love can hurt just as badly.
It was said that Fujino Shizuru was observant, sharp, alert at all times.
But Natsuki was deceitful, quick-witted, and so very much in love.
Natsuki would frequently throw her glances, frequently dream about her, frequently skip class just to observe Shizuru during a lesson through the window glass while hidden in a tree.
But frequent was never frequently enough, and as Shizuru proved herself to be more and more oblivious, Natsuki proved herself to be more and more impatient.
Every so often, she would visit the garden behind the school she knew Shizuru would turn up at, and every so often, Shizuru would show up at the garden to escape from her fangirls, and every so often, Natsuki would turn her head to look at an ignorant Shizuru, and every so often –
She would wonder if this girl was worth it; worth the effort, worth the hope, worth the pain.
And, not every so often but always, she would answer herself with an affirming nod.
Of course.
Ever since then, she vowed that she would make Shizuru hers.
--
Natsuki stood at the base of the large oak tree, seated comfortably between the roots that protruded from the ground in an intimidating manner. The playground seemed less inviting ever since the other children came, sneering unattractively at the cobalt-haired girl because she didn't have a father.
In her lap, a small jar of mayonnaise was placed and she listlessly tried to pry the lid open, upset because it was the only thing left in the fridge because Okaa-san forgot to go to the grocery. She was hungry, it was just a condiment, and it wasn't enough for her.
The next thing she saw was red, red, red, and she realised that there was a smiling girl kneeling in front of her. Natsuki blinked, stared, and waited.
"Can I sit here?"
The voice was laced with eager anticipation, raw sincerity, and it made the other children sound like toads when they spoke. Natsuki was surprised, and she nodded her head cautiously, wondering if it was just another trick that the mob of other children was playing on her.
The flaxen-haired girl exclaimed happily, turning around to lay her head on Natsuki's left thigh as she sat down. She wriggled a bit before finally settling down in a comfortable position on her thigh, and that was when Natsuki realised that she was ticklish when she squirmed.
She saw the other girl's burgundy eyes light up in delight as she giggled, and the other girl laughed along as well – an ordinary, clear, childlike laugh, but it made Natsuki feel as if something inside her stomach was fluttering about. She had a feeling that it was not the mayonnaise.
"Ara, what's that?"
"… Mayonnaise."
"Does it taste nice?"
"I don't know; I've never tried it."
"Can I have some? We could try it together!"
"Okay."
"Ookini."
The lid was snatched off the abused jar, and both reached their little hands into the container to remove a finger of mayonnaise. Natsuki watched on in awe as the older of the two somehow managed to lick the mayonnaise off her finger daintily, her own blob of mayonnaise dripping onto the crimson-eyed girl's mouth as she finished hers.
The older girl was surprised, and Natsuki was so embarrassed that the apology she had wanted to yell out got caught in her throat. Her mind struggled to gain control of her voice, but was unsuccessful as her face turned into a colour that rivaled the sunset.
The light-goldenrod-haired girl smiled, almost devilishly, raised her head, leaned upwards and –
Kissed
Her
On
The
Lips.
"Ara, so does mayonnaise taste nice?"
The other children were just as shocked as Natsuki was, and all games of Tag, Knight, and Police were paused immediately. The playground was silent, and even parents turned to see what had happened. The children glared menacingly at the emerald-eyed girl, who did not notice.
But their threatening expressions were wiped clean by stares of even greater astonishment when Natsuki smiled – a smile so pleasant, so triumphant, so breathtaking.
Ever since then, mayonnaise was her most favourite food in the universe.
--
It took a while before their first meeting.
She felt like she had won the universal lottery when Shizuru approached her for the very first time, kindly informing her that the flower she held in her hand had a right to live.
She felt like she had been stabbed in the heart when Shizuru approached her for the very first time, kindly informing her that the flower she held in her hand had a right to live.
Because Kuga Natsuki could not even find a place in Fujino Shizuru's memories.
Because Kuga Natsuki was not important enough to Fujino Shizuru for her to remember her.
Because while Kuga Natsuki was very much in love with Fujino Shizuru, Fujino Shizuru herself did not even know that once, when they were very young, Kuga Natsuki had fallen in love with Fujino Shizuru, and –
Ever since then, a Kuga Natsuki had loved a Fujino Shizuru.
--
Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was slowly but increasingly growing affections for her.
What she did know was that the rate of increase in growth of said affections itself was rising higher.
Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was becoming more and more obsessed with her.
What she did know was that the level of obsession was unhealthy and dangerous for Shizuru.
Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was now hopelessly in love with her.
What she did know was that Shizuru would never dare to release her love out of that tiny cage.
Not when her father was a wealthy businessman that could easily promise to send a hundred assassins after Natsuki unless Shizuru got rid of that unnatural infatuation.
Ever since then, Natsuki felt an invisible chisel chipping off a piece of her every time Shizuru looked at her with such broken eyes that even the once vibrant maroon had been reduced to a lifeless mud-brown.
--
Natsuki knew she had to protect Shizuru.
She could never forgive herself if she did not.
Natsuki would protect Shizuru from everything, so when she confronted Shizuru in the collapsing church, she could only say that she did not love Shizuru the way Shizuru loved her,
Kiss
Her
On
The
Lips,
And pretend that her heart did not just shatter into such tiny shards that even someone as observant, sharp, and alert yet agonisingly oblivious as Shizuru would not be able to see them.
She had to protect Shizuru, protect her from everything, protect her from Natsuki herself.
Because even beautiful, innocent, pure yet deceitful, quick-witted and so very much in love Natsuki can be a wolf.
Ever since then, even as she saw Shizuru pretend that she was happy being married to another man, she told herself that she would wait.
"What's the matter, Natsuki-chan?"
"… I'm in love with her."
"… Same here, Natsuki-chan. Look at me – I'm even more pathetic. I travel around the world to pretend to chase some old geezer of a professor, when everything I've ever wanted is right here, specifically in the Fuuka Academy infirmary."
"It's different."
"How?"
"Because she loves me too."
"… And?"
"She's not supposed, not allowed to. It's not what's expected of her. She can't, she just can't."
Ever since then, Natsuki promised herself that she would wait, wait for a better day in her next life, and come back to fulfill her vow, claim her prize, make Shizuru hers and hers alone.
I present to you, the unofficial Prequel-To-Any-ShizuNatsu-Fanfiction.
I apologise if you found Natsuki out of character, but I don't believe that it was ever officially proven that Natsuki was that naive, disregarding the Mai HiME Manga which I refuse to finish reading. If you disagree, then please prove it to me, because I really want to know where Natsuki's sheer innocence originated from :D
And since my examinations are finally over (I know that I've failed Mathematics, Physics, and Chinese so far, which is three out of seven subjects, and three out of four known results), I can write a bit more?
Meanwhile, my mother is not going to be happy about my results, so you may either;
- find me updating more, as I would be using the computer more often just to spite her for the tuition that will take up my end-of-year holidays, or
- not find me at all, because I am buried under said tuition.
Ahaha, I hope I don't have to stay back a year, or I'm screwed.
Kuga-san, please lend me Fujino-san for a while!