Sasori curled up in the white sheets. The silk felt good against his pounding body. His heavy breath pulsed against the already humid and stained fabric. There was a numb feeling in his lower body sending shivers up his spine now and then. A good feeling, made even better by the knowledge that the cause of it was right beside him.
"Oh Sasori-danna... I love you so much, un." Arms wrapped around the redhead, pulling him closer until he could hear the steady thump-thump of his beloved's heart. He tucked his head under the other's cheek.
"And I love you. More than life itself." he murmured, the lack of energy finally taking it's toll. A gentle kiss on the red bunch of hair sent shivers down Sasori's body. He might've been way over 30, but the other male made him feel like he was 20 again. The fifteen-year-old kid who greeted him in the mirror did nothing to deny that.
A slim leg wrapped around the redhead's slightly shorter one, caressing it softly. Sasori didn't object to the loving gesture, letting his chocolate-brown eyes droop shut. If he were a kitty, he sure would've purred loud enough for all of Akatsuki to hear.
Something as light as a feather brushed against his cheek. He opened his eyes slightly, brushing the strands of blonde hair away from his face. It wasn't like he didn't want it there, but it tickled him. And in that body he wore now, he was twice as sensitive as any human being, which the redhead was anything but.
"...I didn't hurt your puppet body, did I?" The grip around him tightened. "It's so fragile, weaker than a... Normal human's body, un..." Indeed, it was.
Not only had it more nerves than usual bodies, but it had very thin skin too; a little too hard bite or scratch, and it would break. Also, it lacked the strengths of being only wooden, and it was neither hollow nor had detachable body-parts. Most importantly, it had no weapons at all, making the redhead feel incredibly vulnerable.
Sasori had other bodies too, for different purposes. Everyone but the one he wore now was prepared for battle.
Some time ago, Sasori had cursed himself for keeping it, thrown it away almost at a daily basis. But for some reason, he always came to get it back. His biggest wish was to forget, but he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to live. He'd turn into a machine.
To him, it was more than true that you had to remember to forget.
Even though he kept his body for the sake of remembering, he knew he'd never use it. Sasori had this shield that he kept up almost all the time. If you asked someone, anyone, to profile him, they would all say the same. "Cold-blooded, lives for his art, makes puppets out of the enemies bodies, strong, dangerous, impatient, killing-machine..." It had even got to the point where some villages in the land of wind had forbidden peasants of wandering outside without shinobi nearby. Because of Sasori of the red sand, the puppet without sanity, emotions and conscience.
Nobody realized that it was only the shield. No one had ever seen past it since he'd put it up. Basically, he acted like a coldhearted beast around everyone, and he was getting better and better at it. His thoughts became more and more used to that shield, and it had even come to that point where he would become that mindless murder-machine everyone thought he already was.
But, just when he thought he finally would be able to live up to this imagined personality, his partner disappeared without warning. That turned his life upside down.
The replacement was found just outside of Iwagakure. The redhead couldn't bring himself to care who it was or how the person was, but in curiosity (and under the leader's command), he came with the group of Akatsuki members who's mission was to get this person safely (or not) back to their current hideout.
Sasori hadn't seen anything special about the boy. He was very feminine in looks with his long, blonde hair and blue eyes. Yet, the tanned, muscular body (along with his cocky grin) made Sasori define him as male at first sight.
As expected, Itachi had beaten the kid easily with his genjutsu. No one but the blonde himself had even thought the thought that the boy could win: The Uchiha had his sharingan, and from what Sasori had heard, only a few citizens of Iwa had ever heard of this special eye jutsu.
It was on the trip home that Sasori took notice of his new partner. At first, he was annoyed. The boy just stared at him with some unexplainable expression, successfully using up every last bit of the redhead's patience. Still, he couldn't shout at him.
It wasn't because they had to be quiet, or because he had a sore throat. It was because the blonde looked like he understood. Understood that Sasori was traveling in a puppet. Understood that he was neither human nor puppet. Understood that it was all a shield, and most disturbingly...
...Understood that he was hurting.
The teal eyes were carrying a question. The simple question "why". Sasori had no intentions of giving him any answer. When they came to the hideout, though, he did.
Neither of them had imagined that the new member would be able to get friendly with the puppet master. At least not to the point where the redhead was sitting in his partner's lap, crying as he spilled his past to the blonde. They had started talking, which quickly led to arguing. Sasori could remember what had been said almost perfectly, but did not want to think about it. It had not been nice.
"Sasori-san, calm down, please. I just wanted to know why you pretend to be so much you aren't, un. How did I get you so--" Akatsuki's newest member has to stop mid sentence to avoid the object Sasori throws at him. The item hits the wall, making the blonde wince at the high-pitched sound it produces as it breaks.
"That's none of your business, you stupid shithead brat!" The redhead is so angry, he doesn't even realize that what he threw at the other was the clearest picture of him and his parents, frame and all. When he does, he immediately regrets it, and stomps over to get it back, still angry as hell.
He freezes mid-movement as the brat bends down and picks it up. What business does he have with Sasori's old photograph?
"Is that your parents?" The blonde dares to ask. Not once in this fight has he lost his cool, and that pisses Sasori even more off. The kid had snapped because of nothing when he fought Itachi, and his anger had made him grow blind to everything else. Now, the redhead was acting just like him. He knows, and it feeds the burning feeling in his heart, the hate towards everything. Human and inhuman, living and dead. "They're gone, right Sasori-san? Is that why you're acting so cold, un?"
Sasori can't take it anymore. The brat goes too far by every word that leaves his mouth. He walks up to the blonde before him and tries to snatch the picture from his hands, but the boy stretches his hand high above his head, effectively keeping the item Sasori wants, out of his reach.
Sasori wants to scream. He wants to thrash the room, kill everyone around him, destroy everything he can see until the thing people calls "world" is but an empty, sorrowful place. He wants to, but doesn't. His pride doesn't allow him to jump for the photograph, either.
"Give. Me. The picture." His command is squeezed through gritted teeth. His brown eyes dig themselves into the brat's blue ones, glaring a glare that would make even the leader of Akatsuki obey to any orders the redhead might have.
For a moment, the only sound in the room is Sasori's puppet body shaking. He left Hiruko, his traveling puppet, right after the new Akatsuki asked him to. He wears the body he usually fights in, but has removed all weapons for cleaning. It is no use in hiding your own appearance to your partner. Though, right now, the redhead is wishing he did. Without his weapons, he feels... vulnerable.
"No." the kid says bluntly, still calm. His arm is still in the air. Sasori's shaking worsens as he clenches both his jaw and fists.
"Why not?! Give it to me!" He barks. Everyone else in the Akatsuki would be wise enough to back down then. At one point, Sasori would snap, and it was wide known that the redhead's bite was worse than his bark. His bark was pretty bad, too.
"Tell
me." The blonde's expression had changed to a one of pity. Pity!
Does he really think that Sasori of the red sand needs pity? He
doesn't. He never will. " I guess that you don't want to talk
to others about it, but please, Sasori danna..." Danna? Danna?!
Sasori never wished for any sign of respect, at least not a nickname!
"...trust me, even just for a few hours. You'll feel much
be--" "Why the HELL do you think I need to feel better?!
The only problem in my life right now is you, you cocky, little,
spoiled scumbag of a brat! I despise you! You're just another
useless kid in this useless world! You don't have a clue how
everything works! Art is fleeting?! I don't think so! You have to
keep what you have, make it last for eternity! True beauty doesn't
change, you don't have to worry about missing it, because it's
there! And what's that crap you're talking about?! Trust you?!
You can't trust anyone in this world, you worthless shit! People
lie when it suits them, trick people into believing their lies, just
to screw up the rest of their lives! I don't trust anyone, and at
least not you!" He takes hold of the younger one's collar and
slams him hard into the wall. Sasori swears he can hear something
crack as blood splutters out of the blonde's mouth with a hacking
cough. The piece of paper slides out of the frame and the redhead
catches it on its way to the ground. No one catches the blonde
though, who limply slides down to the floor.
Sasori's heart pounds fast and he draws his breath in hisses. The merciless anger that previously pumped through his system is now slowly fading. His tense muscles loosens up, relieving his face of that angry snarl and deathly glare. His breath slows down. Now, he almost looks sad.
The blonde stands up as Sasori turns around, slowly walking over to the side of the room where both his bed and puppets are. The puppet master's eyes trails over each and every detail of the glossy picture. A father that looks very much like himself, and a beautiful, caring mother holding their young son.
He shouldn't be so sad. He hardly even knew them. Yet, it feels like someone is twisting a kunai around in his heart, along with squeezing and twisting his stomach, nearly forcing him to vomit. His head feels both light and heavy at the same time, and his eyes stings. If he had used his more human body, he would probably be crying hard by now.
"Sasori-danna, please wait, un..." Mere seconds ago, Sasori would've snapped at the boy for even trying to ask him something. It is unthinkable that the redhead would follow anyone's orders right now. That is probably the reason why the blonde doesn't stop when the puppet do.
Seeing as the room wasn't too big, both males had already crossed the room. Therefore, when the new kid crashed into Sasori, they had a pretty soft landing. They landed on Sasori's puppets.
"I-I'm sorry, danna, un." The blonde mutters, trying to pull the other man up on his feet.
Thump
The puppet falls down again, just as lifeless as all the others. Sasori's partner's eyes trails over the fine mechanics of his superior's body. Something is different; a part is missing. Namely a white cylinder with the kanji "Sasori" on it. The blonde doesn't know the importance of this special part, so he tries to shake the empty shell, before he realizes that his partner no longer controls that body.
Sasori is trembling, tears leaking down his cheeks like two big rivers. He just wants his new partner to leave now. Nothing else matters.
As he fell, he moved his heart from his fighting body, and now, he sits in his human body. The puppets he has made through the years are all in a pile around him, shielding him from his partner's vision. It hasn't been in use for over fifteen years, and it is impossible to keep the tears inside. He hangs his head, draws his legs close to his body and hugs them tightly. It doesn't help.
He misses his parents, the love, being noticed, but most of all, the wonderful feeling of someone caring for him.
A dry sob escapes his lips. He can't help it.
"Oh no, Sasori-danna! I'm sorry, un."
And that is the moment Sasori breaks. He embraces his new partner, crying loudly into that soft chest. He doesn't realize how loud his sobs is before the blonde has to hush on him to make him quieter. Someone knocks on the door, probably thinking there is an attacker in the room, but the boy tells them that he just stepped on one of Sasori's swords; that everything is fine. He lifts the shaking puppet master up and carries him to the bed. The rest of the night is spent with Sasori spilling every single detail about his past, enjoying just being close to someone who wants to understand.
"Sasori-danna!"
Sasori snapped back to reality, smiling at his lover.
"What is it, love?" he asks, bringing a hand up to the sun kissed face to caress it.
"You spaced out for a second, un. Are you sure I haven't hurt you in any way?" Blue eyes blinked down at him in a worried manner. The redhead chuckled.
"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking."
"If you say so, danna." The blonde male used a hand to gently cup the other's cheek, playing with the soft earlobe with his thumb. They moved, lips coming together in a short kiss.
Sasori felt the other's body heat leave him, a clear sign that their time together was over for that night. The puppet master's partner stood up with only a white, stained towel wrapped around his lower regions. The redhead watched the man's muscles play under his skin as he moved.
They did that almost every night, sharing a moment together, mostly in Sasori's bed. Talking, cuddling, kissing, playing... Anything and everything they did together, was done with love.
Something stung in Sasori's heart. He didn't want his lover to leave yet.
"Deidara?" he called. The blonde turned around, immediately dropping the pair of pants he'd been trying to straighten.
"Yeah, un?" He cocked his head a little to the left, an adorable habit of his.
"...Sleep here for tonight."
"But the others! What if they see us, un?"
"They won't." Sasori said, closing his eyes. Deidara realized that there was no room for discussion. He walked over to the bed, then crawled over to his lover's side, giving him a short kiss.
The redhead sighed comfortably and snuggled closer to the warm, soft chest. He'd always wondered how Deidara's skin got like that, smoother than silk and softer than a layer of feathers. He liked it best like this. Damping warm, slightly sweaty and soft. Warm hands wrapped around him, pulling him tight to Deidara's body.
Sasori's calm breath hitched in his throat. He wiped away the tears that overflowed, gritting his teeth to not make a sound. A sob escaped his teeth. It didn't work.
"Sasori-danna?" Deidara asked, sounding worried. The redhead sniffed.
"Yes, D-Dei?" He answered with a unsteady voice, sobs and sniffs being impossible to avoid.
"Oh my god! Are you okay? Did I hurt you, love? I won't leave, if that's what you think! I didn't mean to harm you in any way! Was I too rough? I'm so sorry, danna! Please, tell me what's--"
"I'm h-happy." The redhead struggled to say those words. He'd never said them before, at least not after the death of his parents. "I'm just so happy." Deidara stopped, a surprised look on his face. It melted into a warm, caring smile.
"Me too, Sasori-danna." The blonde ran a hand through the short, red hair. Sasori felt lips being pressed to his temple, a welcome gesture.
His breath evened out, even though the tears kept flowing. The hand kept stroking his hair back, and the puppet felt himself being dragged into the calm state called 'sleep'.
For he didn't really 'sleep'. To him, 'sleeping' was more like fainting; he didn't need it, but tonight, he did it, so he could wake up to the closeness and security of Deidara's warm embrace.
"Hush now, danna. Please don't cry anymore, I'm here, and I love you, un." Deidara whispered softly against the redhead's skin. Sasori sighed contently. This was a moment he'd save for eternity.
And even though Deidara claimed that nothing was eternal, Sasori was going to keep him for all eternity too.
