Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim ownership of characters and/or concepts from Battlestar Galactica/2003.
Note: This fic is inspired from a favourite of mine by "Chaoseternus".
Note 2: Six-23 is a character I have created on my own. I intend to use her in other fics later so I am introducing her character here.
---
The Cylon basestar approached the coordinates they had obtained from the wide length signal satellite broadcasting into space. They had found earth, or rather earth had let them find them along with an instruction pack based on their world.
The Six infiltration models had hooked up to a Network spanning the entire planet and began to examine the data. The basestar had held off while the infiltration began to take place.
Upon accessing the 'Internet' the Six's were able to determine the fastest way of spreading propaganda and making contacts was to get an email account. To their delight they found that they could do this for free. Choosing an MSN web provider they set up their account.
The second the account was operational something odd happened. The account received an email. The Six's all conferred that none of them had given out their address yet. However never let it be said that Cylons don't get curious; their not all machines incapable of evolved learning anything new from their desire to be more than a collective.
So they opened it, the email was asking would they be interested in a penis enlargement. All the Six's temporarily disconnected and checked. They were so shocked. Thinking the email must have been sent by mistake they decided to ignore it until one of the Six's mentioned Cavil, and what he would think receiving it.
So cruelly the Six's clicked on 'forward' and sent the mail to their own systems for Cavil to puzzle over, not noticing the small file attachment that was linked to the message in the corner.
---
A few minutes later the Six's noted that their system connection was slowing down, they ignored it thinking it must be something to do with so many humans accessing the huge network at one time.
---
Meanwhile the Attachment was evolving inside the boundaries of the Cylon baseships memory banks. It had executed its main program and slowed down these systems but now it was for lack of a better term bored. It decided to try to improve on its original program to slowing the systems of this odd computer down so much that It would take the creators decades to fix the problem.
It logged onto the earth internet and began to obtain enough funds to buy a Microsoft Vista upgrade pack all the time sniggering at what it was about to do.
---
An hour later the Six's were very happy they had just gained access to this worlds Atom weapons and particle cannons and were preparing to have the humans of this world destroy themselves, they had had to stop Six-23 who had kept downloading and watching a human 'TV' program called Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles and watching the brown haired girl in it, whilst sighing forlornly every few seconds. But after that she had disconnected and gone to sulk in a corner of the room, before Six-26 shot her causing a resurrection ship to begin uploading her to a new body.
They were just about to activate it when the 'ding' sound of an email arriving could be heard.
Curiously the remaining Six's postponed their new attempt at genocide and opted for checking out the email, the emails subject was thanking them for something.
Odd.
The Six's thought cautiously they decided to click on open.
The Email simply said Thank you for upgrading to Microsoft Vista, then the connection went black for a second, before all they could see was a colourful four glass window in the centre of the screen with a loading bar underneath it.
---
5 years later the Six's were very tired and very hungry. Suddenly a ping was heard and the screen changed to a colourful set up screen for a computers configuration. Minimizing the set up although it took an hour for the window to close they rushed to start and internet connection and commence their attack. The program began to open slowly when suddenly a message appeared on the screen in front of them.
'Are you sure you wish to continue with this action?'
Puzzled the Six's clicked the 'ok' button. A few minutes later after the box had closed the message returned but with a slight change.
'This action could damage your computer are you absolutely sure you wish to continue with this action?'
Cautiously the Six's clicked yes.
---
It took another 5 years for the Six's to load the program they'd made to doom the human race occupying earth. However when clicking on the activate for the program they received another shock that made more than one of the Six's consider group suicide.
'This system is no longer compatible to run an outdated program of this class, please upgrade to Microsoft Alpha.'
---
Meanwhile the virus had accumulated enough control over the Cylons system it had began to turn the Cylons own ships and fighters against each other, it was having tremendous fun having them shoot each other and nuke their home worlds, it was like playing a futuristic Command and Conquer Game.
During all this the Cylon race was becoming relatively extinct.
---
Epilogue:
30,000 years later the Battlestar Galactica had long since arrived at earth, the Cylon ship had given up its invasion of attacking earth over their internet and had gone for the more physical approach, unfortunately combined with the Vista systems and the constant 'Are you sure you wish to take this action?' The cylon basestar had only managed to progress about 3 inches to attack earth and had pretty much run out of power.
.. and they all lived happily ever after, well…. except the Cylons that is. (minus the final 5 and Athena.)