Insecurities
Summary: After seeing Kise with another beautiful girl, Kuroko Tetsuna starts feeling unsure of herself. Kise will have to rectify her thought process. Fem!Kuroko x Kise Established!Kiroko
REVISED
Kuroko Tetsuna was never one to care about her looks. Her presence was abnormally weak, and because of that no one ever noticed her anyway. The clothing she wore were hand-me-downs from other extended family members, and since they all fit her perfectly fine, she never bothered to buy any new clothing. The cashiers and other workers at the shops were troublesome to deal with anyway.
Paying for groceries was difficult enough as is.
Anyone who so much as got a glimpse of Kuroko were not all that impressed. She was shorter than average, her skin was ghostly pale (they probably thought that she had some epidemic), and other than her strange blue hair colour matching her eyes, there was nothing else that stood out to really take note of.
Because she was practically invisible, Kuroko couldn't help but be a little shocked when Kise Ryouta, Japan's most popular teen model and world renown basketball prodigy, asked her out on a date.
She'd recovered from her shock quickly enough, and after a short pause (though it was long enough to be awkward) she said, "No, but thank you." The short girl then proceeded to walk out of sight, mingling in with the crowd before the poor boy could react.
Kuroko often wondered why she rejected him in the first place. Who else would? It was Kise-freaking-Ryouta. The super-rich-guy-that-also-happened-to-be-a-prodigal-basketball-player-and-a-part-time-model. Anyone sane would jump at the chance to go out with him.
But she'd always been the more traditional type, and believed in only going out with someone that she knew well and trusted. Kuroko couldn't recall a time where they'd ever had a civilized conversation-
Actually, she couldn't remember a time where they had even spoken to each other.
How the taller boy knew her name, well, she'd never know. Though it would be nice to find out.
After such a harsh rejection, Kuroko thought that Kise would move on and forget about the strange girl that (was probably) the only girl that ever rejected him.
A day later she was proven horribly wrong when he managed to corner her in the hallway that lead up to the school roof, Kuroko's favourite eating area. No one dared to go up there, because of the cool draft and the "ghost lingering on the roof". Kuroko figured long ago that the ghost was probably her.
Much to her surprise, after Kise cornered her, looking unfairly hot in sweats and a tee (he must've come straight out of gym class), Kise stammered out an apology for his straightforward-ness, and sheepishly asked her if he could join her up on the roof.
After Kuroko accepted his apology (although he didn't have to; It was her who was at fault in all brutal honesty), Kuroko apologized as well. She recalled the blond model grinning widely, waving his hand in a dismissive manner, before plopping down next to her at the edge of the small, greying building built directly on top of the school. The young man started up a pleasant conversation, already concluding that Kuroko wouldn't speak that much. From that day onward he started to call her the ever so infamous, "Kurokocchi".
That night, as Kuroko laid wide awake on her bed, she came to the realization that she made her (dare she say it) first ever friend. As she curled up in her comforters, staring at nothing in particular, she fell asleep feeling oddly content, never completely understanding why until years later, when she was draped in white and walking down a long aisle.
But that was a story for another time.
Ever since that day on the roof, Kise stuck to her side like super glue on wood. They'd gotten close to the point where Kise would accompany Kuroko to her classes, and even walk her home, especially when it was late at night (that was usually when they decided to eat at a local burger joint after school, before the blond had to go to his next photoshoot). Sometimes Kuroko would visit the gym where Kise practised with the rest of the Kaijou basketball team. The team captain was surprisingly okay with it, since she never pestered anyone (perhaps her lack of presence had something to do with it), and how he noticed that Kise performed significantly better when the blue-eyed girl decided to pop in.
It wasn't until several months later that Kuroko realized she was developing feelings for her goofy, golden-eyed friend. The whole process was subtle, but it was still most definitely there, acting out in the back of her mind. The whole "relationship" thing in general was completely foreign to her, as she lacked terribly in the social department. But Kuroko at least knew that if she thought of Kise as a friend, then her heart wouldn't be beating so rapidly whenever he stood close to her. If she thought of Kise as a friend, then she wouldn't feel all tingly whenever they accidentally brushed against each other while walking to school. If she thought of Kise as a friend, then her legs wouldn't feel wobbly whenever Kise draped a strong arm around her thin shoulders, holding her so gently that it made her heart throb.
And of course, if she thought of Kise as a friend, then she wouldn't feel so disheartened and upset whenever someone decided to make a move on him, especially when Kise decided to play along with it. Yet, whenever such a situation happened, the boy would rant about it to her afterwards, telling his petite friend that he was tired of having to deal with people wishing to "get into his pants", as he phrased it. The whole rant on its own made Kuroko feel strangely relieved.
With all the evidence set and stone, the younger teen could safely say that she was in love with Kise, or liked him a lot at the very least. But she was afraid to ruin their friendship, since they've gone through so much together in order to develop a stable relationship, and Kuroko would hate herself if she managed to ruin something as precious as that. So she stayed quiet about it, settling with just admiring her friend behind a carefully crafted poker face.
A couple weeks after her little "realization", one of the librarians called them over while they were on their way to the roof to eat lunch. She (Ms. Naomi) asked if they could help her organize a few shelves in the library, as she had to attend a last-minute doctor's appointment and had no one else to do it for her. Kise had glanced back at his smaller companion, silently asking her if she wanted to help out. She'd nodded in acceptance, and at that note Kise happily agreed to help out (on both their behalves, of course). Ms. Naomi thanked them sincerely, before ushering them to the library, pointing out the shelves that needed to be fixed. The middle-aged woman hurriedly left not long after her rushed instructions, leaving the duo alone in the large room.
They were almost finished organizing the last shelf when the "incident" happened.
Kuroko had noticed that one of the books on the highest section of the shelf was misplaced, belonging in a different section of the library. Noticing how Kise was focused on fixing the books on the lower section, Kuroko grabbed a heavy ladder leaning against one of the walls, at the far side of the room. She placed it carefully on the side of the wooden compartment, climbing up the ladder slowly. When
she was elevated enough, the petite girl snatched the tightly leather-bound book, easing her way off the ladder. Halfway down, the sound of eerie creaking made her freeze. Metal grinded every time she tried to maneuver her feet on the lower beams, and soon enough the structure started to violently shake.
It all happened so quickly.
Kuroko was sure that she was going to fall off, most likely to crack her skull open in the process. She felt weightless for a second, bracing herself from the impact that was surely to come. Instead, she felt warm arms catch her, tugging her smaller physique against a much more broader, more masculine torso.
The moment vanilla and musk invaded her senses, she knew exactly who caught her.
Kise.
He was about to say something, before the ladder violently smacked him on the back of his head. The sudden collision caused Kise to lean forward, and soon enough they were both sprawled on the ground, limbs intertwined in awkward positions. Kuroko was pinned to the ground from the impact, Kise's two long arms supporting his upper body weight so his torso wouldn't completely crush her. His legs, however, were tangled with Kuroko's nearly bare ones (she wore black, knee length socks with the uniform), her grey skirt riding up to her stomach, exposing more skin than usual.
They stared at each other for a few seconds, before realizing the position they were in.
"K-Kurokocchi?" A lovely hue of red dusted against the taller boy's tanned cheeks, and Kuroko blushed heavily. Instead of rolling off, like she expected him to, Kise reached over with one of his arms so he could curl a lock of her powder-blue hair, which went astray somewhere through the chaos. He released the lock of hair, smouldering golden eyes trailing down to her very-much exposed, milky white thighs. Kuroko flushed from his scrutiny.
"Neh, Kurokocchi." His voice was an octave lower, sounding dangerous and seductive. Kuroko felt her face darken at the way he spoke her name. "You're really, really cute." Suddenly, all the bravado he displayed shrank. He ducked his head low, looking a little embarrassed with himself. The "Oh shit, what did I just say?" expression was written all over his face.
There was a short pause, before a "Kise-kun, please get off." left her mouth. She made a mental note to pat herself on the back later, for keeping her composurer despite the rather risque situation.
Kise pouted. "B-but I like Kurokocchi here."
"Kise-ku-"
"I want Kurokocchi to stay with me like this forever!"
Kuroko's eyes widened, taken aback by his response. Kise looked adorably flustered, looking as though he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Kise pressed his face against Kuroko's chest, in a vain attempt to hide the redness creeping back into his cheeks.
"I-I really like Kurokocchi." he mumbled. "When I first saw Kurokocchi, I thought she was really cute. I wanted to introduce myself for a long time, but I didn't know how to. I got really, really nervous when I finally got to talk to Kurokocchi, and ended up a-asking Kurokocchi out." A dark hue of pink danced on the tips of his pierced ears. "B-but then I got to get to know Kurokocchi. Kurokocchi is a little cold, but she's always so calm and independent. She-you always listen to me when I ramble, and you always encourage me to do my best in everything! Kurokocchi is the reason why I'm improving in basketball. Because whenever you watch me, I feel like I HAVE to do my best or else you'd be disappointed in me." he looked up from the Kuroko's chest, golden orbs burning with resolve as he stared into cool (melting) ice. "You are always in my thoughts, and I space out a lot in class whenever I think about you. I can't stand the thought of losing Kurokocchi. I want to be with Kurokocchi like this forever." Kuroko's cheeks burned scarlet, mouth gaping only a little. Kise didn't seem to notice, and continued, "S-so, please." He grabbed Kuroko's hand, carefully, pressing it against his chest. "Tetsuna, go out with me?"
Kuroko's heart started to thud painfully. She stared at Kise, who closed his eyes, most likely in fear as to what her answer was going to be. She gently removed her hand from Kise's grasp (she immediately noticed the flinch that he tried to hide afterwards), and instead lead Kise's palm to fall against her chest, so he could feel her rapidly beating heart.
"K-Kurokocchi-" he stuttered, but she cut him off.
"Okay." The blue-eyed girl said, allowing a small smile to overcome her usually stoic expression.
"R-really?!" Kise was smiling so widely that Kuroko was sure his face was going to be sore later. "Are you sure?"
Kuroko bopped the top of his head.
"Idiot." she muttered. "Don't ask me stupid questions."
Kise cheered, pecked Kuroko's cheek, and burrowed his face into the crook of her neck.
The younger teen merely smiled, just barely, before realizing the piles of books scattered around them, still in need of organization.
Yet for some reason, she didn't really care about that, revelling in the joyous moment.
::Kikuro::
They went on several dates after that. Their first (official) date was spent in Kise's place (which was a huge mansion by the way), where they watched a marathon of horror movies and snacked on whatever they could grab from the kitchen. Kise had even made Kuroko a milkshake, which was admittedly way better than the ones she usually drank.
(Kise failed to inform her that the reason why he knew how to make milkshakes was because of her own uncanny love for them.)
(Kuroko herself couldn't help but notice the lack of parental guidance, but she didn't mention anything about it. Kise would tell her about them when he was ready.)
The dates that followed the first one were just as lovely. Sometimes they would spend the day at the park, with a picnic basket in hand, and other times they went to a restaurant or cafe, never too fancy of course. Once they'd even gone to a local festival, which turned out to be a disaster because of a nasty, unexpected rainfall. The pair managed to find shelter in a nearby movie house, though, and simply decided to watch a movie together instead. When the two weren't on dates, they'd spend as much time as Kise's busy schedule allowed them to. Even when Kise was completely booked for the entire day, the teen never missed a chance to steal a kiss from Kuroko in abandoned corridors when possible.
All in all, they shared a relatively steady relationship, and (Kise was sure of this) if they kept up with this pace, then they'd probably stay together for a solid few years.
However, that didn't mean that there weren't any hiccups that came in their relationship. Most of the bumps on the road ususally originated from Kise's job. When his manager heard that he decided to date Kuroko, the woman (Mrs. Sachiko) insisted to keep their "companionship" in the dark. She explained that she didn't want any nasty rumours to spur, which was most likely to happen due to Kise's popularity. Thus, whenever they went out together, the blond model would have to disguise himself in some way or another. It was a good thing that Kuroko was difficult to catch sight of.
They both managed to bypass the little bump, even if Kise had wanted to scream to the world that he was dating Kuroko, like it was some sort of grand accomplishment.
(If Kuroko had ever asked him about this, he'd confirm that, yes, being Kuroko's boyfriend was indeed
a grand accomplishment.)
Things never got too difficult until the third year of high school. At seventeen years old, Kise was in his prime. He was as attractive as ever; perhaps even more attractive than he had been two years ago (or course, Kise had always been bloody hot, though she'd never admit it out loud. Although, she had called him cute before, which followed with Kise's squeals of 'ohmygodKurokocchicalledmecuteOHMYGOD').
As a result of Kise's aesthetically pleasing appearance, he was requested for a ridiculous amount of photo shoots that lasted hours upon hours. His phone calls and texts became less frequent, and Kuroko barely saw him at school due to their differing class schedules.
A grand basketball tournament was also coming up at the time, so no visitors were allowed to come into the gym. This included Kuroko, much to Kise's vehement protest.
For the first month, Kuroko didn't really mind, although it did bug her quite a bit. Often, nights were spent wide awake, wondering if her boyfriend was alright. The few times she did see him, he looked exhausted and stressed, and she'd noticed the concealer hiding the bruise-like lines underneath Kise's beautiful eyes. Their meetings together were short and brief, usually involving Kise kissing her forehead and whispering apologies, but the young teen cherished those moments. She was starting to miss the blond idiot's overbearing presence; miss all those times he hung off her like a leech, and when he rambled about every topic possible. She missed his warm hugs and sheepish smiles, missed the times when she'd call him an idiot for doing something stupid.
Before Kise came around, all she'd experienced was solitude. Never once had she made a friend, and her parents were always absent for work reasons. Kise wasn't quite a light. Kuroko was the shadow, and light, eventually, was meant to swallow up the shadow; overwhelm it. Kise never overwhelmed her. He stuck with her pace, and as opposed to the light, followed the shadow instead. He warded off her feelings of loneliness, always held her hand even when she tried to push him away. Always loyal, to her for some reason.
In a way, he was like a little puppy attached to their human.
But, at the same time, he wasn't a puppy. He was a golden retriever, big and proud, but loyal to the very end. Yet, golden retrievers always caught the attention of other humans. In this case, Kise attracted hundreds and thousands of people, due to his overall popularity.
And with the teen's popularity, came all the rumours.
During the past month, Kise modelled with a fairly popular amateur, Yuki Sakiyomi. She was a rising star in the modelling industries, and worked with Kise for a clothing catalogue sponsoring an expensive clothing brand. Due to their many "intimate" photos together, many fans speculated that they were dating. It was spread throughout the news, other magazines, the internet, and even at school. Kuroko remembered first hearing about the rumours from her classmates.
"Uwahhh! Kise-kun and Yuki-sama look perfect together!" One of her classmates squealed one day. "Look at them! They look so in love! They're so lucky to have each other!" Her friend squealed along with her.
Kuroko felt her stomach flip uncomfortably, eyes unknowingly dimming.
Why was her heart... clenching so painfully?
It was different from the time at the library, when she and Kise had first gotten together. She'd felt so happy and exhilarated then, and her stomach had wafted with pleasant and euphoric butterflies. But her stomach... it was hurting?
She didn't understand. All she knew was that this ugly feeling wasn't normal. She'd never felt so unpleasant before. Her throat was suffocating, and involuntary shivers rushed throughout her body.
Kuroko never looked twice at her appearance. Appearances were never brought up in her relationship with Kise. Perhaps there were times when Kise asked Kuroko how he looked, to which she responded with, "Okay.", but she herself had never asked Kise about how she herself looked.
Yes, she was quite aware that Kise had called her "cute" and "adorable" on multiple occasions, but... what if that wasn't good enough? Kise, he was, quite frankly, amazing in her opinion. Maybe he wasn't the image of perfection to others, but to Kuroko he was absolutely perfect. From his personality to his morals, he was everything that Kuroko needed and didn't deserve.
What was she next to Kise? Average. So, painfully average that comparing their looks was laughable.
Same thing went with Yuki Sakiyomi.
She was shorter than average, standing at a mere 5'2. Kise stood at an astounding 6'2; he was a whole foot taller than her. Sakiyomi-san stood at the comfortable 5'11; taller than average, and perfect runway model height. Kise would always have go bend down quite a bit just to kiss her forehead, even when she stood on her tip toes. Kise had told her that her petite stature was endearing, but... wouldn't it make sense for him to be into taller girls?
Her hair, well, her hair was pretty normal, maybe with the exception of the colour. It was a powdery-blue shade, curled just a little bit at the ends, and only reached to the tip of her shoulders. Sakiyomi-san's hair was a flaming, luscious red, falling in waves all the way to the back of her knees. It was something Kuroko could never achieve.
Her skin was extremely pale. Perhaps it attributed to her ghostly presence; her skin colour resembled a corpse's. Sakiyomi-san had a healthy, tanned complexion, bronzed and looking like she came straight out of some beach movie. Kise himself had a rich tan as well, though it was a shade lighter than Sakiyomi-san's.
Her eyes were too big. One might call them pretty, but the completely blank expression they held said otherwise. Sakiyomi-san's eyes were almond-shaped and seductive looking. Moreover, they were expressive.
She was too thin. Once, her mother told her that she resembled a porcelain doll, due to how small and fragile looking she was. Kuroko was fairly sure she was borderline underweight, and she was fairly sure that overly-skinny girls were unattractive. Sakiyomi-san had a curvaceous hourglass figure. She was the perfect weight (according to science, at least), filled out in all the right places, and her beautiful physique was definitely not something to laugh at.
As she stared at her reflection for one last time, she sighed dejectedly.
She was plain.
She was invisible.
She was inferior.
Sakiyomi-san was anything but.
Kuroko abruptly turned away from the mirror, trying to wish away the ugly feeling that churned in the pit of her stomach.
"Kise-kun." She muttered softly, holding a hand to her face. She tried in vain to stop the tears that were already forming.
"I wonder when you'll wake up and finally leave me."
LINEBREAK
*Ring*
*Ring*
*Ring*
"Hello?" Kise's voice echoed from the phone.
"Kise-kun." Kuroko greeted, struggling to bite back the tremor in her voice.
"Kurokocchi! What's up? Do you need anything? I'm at home right now, my manager FINALLY let me go! Do you want to come over?" The excited tone in his voice made her resolve ache painfully. She hadn't been to his house for months now.
"I... need to talk to you." Kuroko said carefully. "I'll come in twenty minutes." She hung up the phone, not even bothering to wait for a reply. Her voice was on the verge of cracking.
Kuroko dressed in an oversized creme sweater, a dark brown skirt, and black leggings. She slipped on a pair of dark brown boots, grabbing the house keys from the counter.
"I'm coming." She muttered.
"Please forgive me, Kise-kun."
::KiKuro::
With Kuroko coming over, Kise anticipated a day of watching movies and cuddling on the couch. He missed his precious girlfriend very much. He was Kuroko-depraved, and was pretty sure that he'd jump her bones the moment he saw her. Kise didn't think that he could've handled it for any longer. If he hadn't begged his manager for a day off, then he would have never gotten to see Kuroko until the holidays.
That was simply something that he wouldn't stand for. As much as he loved modelling, Kise would've rather spent time with Kuroko. She invaded his thoughts all the time, especially when he was forced to model with other women. Sometimes, he'd mentally replace the models with Kuroko, making it slightly more bearable to work with them. His manager had even noticed the crabby mood he'd been in lately, which was the reason why she had allowed him a day off in the first place.
There were moments when Kise daydreamed about his cute little love while on the job. They were mostly memories, and a majority (okay, ALL) of them were about his girlfriend.
One of his favourite memoirs was about the first time he'd ever seen Kuroko.
To put it simply, he was absolutely stunned.
He spotted her one day while heading to class. A rather petite, pale teen with gorgeous blue eyes and powder-blue hair was navigating through the crowd of students with ease, save for a couple of pushes and shoves that were impossible to avoid. She was completely focused on her little black book, unaware of what was happening around her. With keen eyes, Kise couldn't help but notice something rather peculiar.
The students weren't looking at her per se; they were looking right through her, as if she wasn't even there.
And that bothered Kise quite a bit. How was it possible to be completely unaware of another person's existence?
It soon became a daily habit to watch her. Some may have described his attitude as stalker-ish, but he couldn't care less. She was interesting; a puzzle that was begging to be solved.
The fact that she was cute was a bonus.
After a few days of strained hearing, Kise learned that the mysterious girl's name was Kuroko Tetsuna. It suited her, strangely enough. Kise found himself itching to introduce himself to the girl, just so he could hear what her voice sounded like.
Eventually, he did introduce himself.
By asking her out on a date.
But he couldn't help it! The way she stared at him as he was about to speak; the shock in her eyes upon knowing that someone noticed her. His mind went blank for a second, and to avoid an awkward silence, he blurted out the first thing that came in his mind.
Well, it could have turned out worse.
He was a little shocked that the girl had rejected him (the few times he'd asked someone on a date, they'd immediately said yes. Kuroko was one of the [if not only] rare exceptions.)
The next day, Kise cornered her in an empty hallway, apologizing to her for his rather abrupt request from the day before. Kuroko apologized for her own harsh rejection, but Kise waved it off. What was that saying again? What's passed is the past?
Thus started a budding friendship, which (after several months of secret glances and brief touches) soon turned into a much more intimate relationship, thanks to the whole library fiasco. He was thoroughly embarrassed by his confession. Sure it was cute and all, but it was also completely jumbled and out of place and why had he chosen to confess there? And before that, when he'd practically molested Kuroko with his eyes-DAMN IT. He felt like a complete and utter pervert, for taking advantage of Kuroko like that. But (he nearly drooled at the mental image) her skirt had ridden up, and her thighs-
Just as Kise was about to delve deeper into his thoughts, the door bell rang. He jumped from his seat on the couch, slapping his flushed cheeks harshly. His Kuroko-depravity was leading his mind into the gutter, and he had to remember to compose himself, because Kurokocchi was waiting at the door and he shouldn't have dirty thoughts about his girlfriend when she was so close to him.
He could imagine a chibi-Kuroko slapping him upside the head for having indecent thoughts about her.
Kise stumbled into the entrance hall, and slammed the door open. He was about to cheerfully greet his beloved girlfriend with a welcoming glomp he noticed the downcast expression on her face. He immediately took notice of her withdrawing presence, as though she wanted to get away from him as far as possible.
Kise narrowed his eyes in concern.
"Kurokocchi?"
Kuroko reached for his hand, and whispered hoarsely. "We need to talk."
Kise tightened his hold on Kuroko's hand. He was worried, but he decided not to say anything as he lead Kuroko up to his room.
They stood in the room, Kuroko leaning against the wall and Kise standing across from her. There was a buzz of silence for a couple of moments.
"What did you want to talk about?" Kise inquired, trying to shake off the concern in his voice. When Kuroko averted her gaze, Kise panicked a little. Kuroko always met his eyes whenever they spoke to each other. This-he observed her downcast expression, though barely there-was not like Kuroko at all.
"Kise, I-" Kuroko paused, trying to recollect her thoughts. She'd practised this so many times on her way to Kise's house, so why did it seem like she'd forgotten what to say? She took a deep breath and spoke clearly.
"I think we should break up."
Silence. The sounds of the dish washer running and the heater pumping was heard quite evidently, but that didn't seem to digest in either of their brains.
When Kise processed his girlfriend's words, his mind went blank. There was an agonizingly long pause, then-
"W-why?" He had so many things on his mind to say to her, but his mouth wasn't responding. Had he done something wrong? Did he upset her in some way? God, if he hurt her without even knowing he did he'd probably kill himself.
"It's not your fault." Kuroko said firmly, despite the fact that her voice was trembling. "I just... well..." She inhaled deeply, shaking off the shudder that coursed through her body.
"I'm saving you from the effort."
"What?" Kise's brain was fried. When. What. How. Why. What had happened in his absences to make her resort to such a question?
Kuroko desperately tried to get some oxygen in her system. Her head was dizzy and lightheaded, her legs were shaking in anxiety, and her palms were so clammy that if she shoved her hand in a pile of scraps, they'd stick to the pale limb like super glue. /deep breaths/ she tried soothing herself. /just try to breath/.
As she stared at Kise's handsome (yet utterly baffled-looking) face, the small girl felt her mouth go dry as the Sahara. She didn't want to do this. God, she didn't want to do this.
But she had to. She couldn't be selfish anymore. Kuroko had been alone for the majority of her life; she could handle being alone again. She could handle a life without Kise.
At least, that's what her mind said. But her heart-yes, the thing she kept locked up in her chest-was throbbing in so much pain, that it was unbearable. She thanked her ability to hide emotions, otherwise she'd be curled up on the ground, sobbing until she couldn't feel anything anymore; until she was numb; which was honestly how she felt for the first fifteen or so years of her life.
"I'm saving you from the effort when you break up with me." Kuroko whispered, gazing at the ground.
Kise sputtered, eyes widening. "Why the hell would I break up with you?" He asked. Kuroko said nothing for a few seconds before opening up her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes as she started speaking.
"I don't understand." she whispered. "I-I just don't get it. Kise-kun, why me?"
"Huh?" He couldn't get anything coherent out of his damn mouth.
"Why me, Kise-kun?" Kuroko repeated. "You see models every day, you meet all these beautiful people on a daily basis, a-and you have hundreds of thousands of fans." She clutched her arms tightly, scratching her skin through the thick sweater she wore. "I-I'm not pretty." she croaked. "Some people can't see me, Kise. You could have anyone you wanted, yet you wanted to be with me. I don't get it. Kise-kun, I just don't understand." She knew that she was starting to repeat herself, but she couldn't care less.
"Tetsuna." Kise started. He grabbed her hand, pulling Kuroko into a tight embrace. He grazed Kuroko's head against his broad chest.
Although one part of Kuroko wanted to let go of him, to tell Kise that it was over, another part wanted to hug him tightly and never let go.
She was so selfish.
"God, Kuroko. I wanna be with you. You have absolutely no idea how long I've pinned after you, and if you think I'm going to let you go now, then you're insane." The teen said sincerely, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"And even if people can't see it, you're gorgeous." he nuzzled the top of her powdery-blue head. Inhaling the smaller girl's natural fragrance, he spoke again. "You smell nice, for one. Like, really nice. The models I'm with all smell so chemically. Too artificial." he crinkled his nose adorably, and despite the relatively sombre situation, she smiled a little.
The blond prodigy dipped his head down, gazing into her eyes. His finger curled a single lock of her hair. "I've always liked how your hair and eyes are the same colour. Your eyes are mesmerizing. They're... a special kind of blue, y'know? Not quite the colour of the sky or the ocean." he chuckled.
"Your hair is really soft too. Like silk. And I love how short it is. Long hair is nice too, but there's something special about your own, I guess. It may not make sense to you, but in my eyes it's so clear." he hovered both his muscular arms around her waist, and stood full height, still sparing her eye contact.
"You're super tiny too, and sometimes I think that if I'm too rough with you, you'll break." He tugged her flushed against his torso once more, closing as much distance between them as physically possible. "But you fit so perfectly in my arms. I feel like I'll be able to protect you."
He tapped her head gently. "And, remember what I said back then in the library. You're amazing Kurokocchi. You've inspired me so much in these past few years, and if it weren't for you then I wouldn't have been able to do so well in those basketball tournaments. If it weren't for you, I'd still be a selfish bastard who only cared about winning. Kurokocchi... others just don't compare to you. So don't go comparing yourself to other people."
Kuroko stared at him in amazement, cheeks flushing from his words. Kise... had never spoken so seriously before. He still had that playful aura swimming around him, but his words were so sincere. She felt all her worries wash away, all her doubts and insecurities. It was like a vivid dream, and if it was then she didn't wanna wake up.
"Kurokocchi." Kise spoke up again. He leaned forward, and kissed her gently on the lips. His hand clutched the roots of her hair and the other reached for her waist. It lasted for a solid ten seconds before they gasped for breath. "Remember... the day we got together?" he panted, face a lovely rose colour. "Your hand was on my chest. You felt the heartbeat, didn't you? It was beating so quickly that I thought I'd explode."
Kuroko nodded, reminiscing the moment. She'd placed his hand on her chest too.
Just like that time in the library, he grasped her hand, leading it to his muscular chest. Kuroko jumped at the quick thudding underneath her fingertips. It was even faster than it had been on that fateful day.
"I like you a lot-no. Like isn't the right word. Tetsuna, I love you. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Without you, I'm worth nothing short of dust. I'm so sorry that I've neglected you these past few months. I'll squeeze you in as much as possible; I'll take you to the photoshoots with me. I'll force captain to let you stay again for practices. Hell, Tetsuna just stay at my place. J-just don't leave me."
Kuroko couldn't take it anymore. The way he clutched her body so tightly, as though she'd disappear at any moment. Her heart was throbbing painfully at the desperate expression on Kise's face. He really... didn't want her to go.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. Then, as an afterthought, "I love Kise-kun too. Kise-kun... is amazing too. You were my first ever friend, and my only friend. You spend so much of your time with me, and you-you're really inspiring too Kise. To juggle your grades, basketball, modelling, me. I know Kise-kun has been stressed lately, and I want to help Kise-kun with that as much as possible." She said, blushing darkly. Suddenly, Kuroko looked up, staring straight into Kise's eyes. "I just want Kise-kun to be happy."
She nearly choked when she saw Kise's golden eyes water.
"KUROKOCCHI!" He wailed, wrapping his arms around her, grip almost deadly. "TO SAY SUCH CUTE THINGS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY!" He paused, inhaling deeply, nearly shaking from joy. "A-AND KUROKOCCHI ALSO SAID SHE LOVED ME! K-Kurokocchi~ This is the first time you ever told me you loved me!"
Kuroko blushed heavily. "Shut up. Don't make me regret what I sai-"
She was cut off when Kise suddenly jumped on the bed, enveloping her entire body with his much bigger one. "K-Kise-ku-"
She was laying on her side, spooned (admittedly) comfortably from the back. Kise buried his face into the crook of her neck, brushing his soft lips against the sensitive flesh.
"I love you~"
Kuroko stopped struggling at his muffled words, resigning to her fate. She placed her thin arms over Kise's muscular ones, nudging backwards ever so slightly.
"I... love you... too." she mumbled in embarrassment, glad that she wasn't facing Kise. No doubt he was making a stupid expression, sputtering on nothing.
As they laid there for the rest of the day, draped in each others' presence, Kuroko confirmed one thing.
Perhaps Kise was the dog, and Kuroko was his human. He was beautiful and enchanting, attracting the attention of hundreds and thousands of people. But, like any other dog, big and fierce, their hearts belonged to their owner's, and only their owners.
And it certainly wasn't one-sided either. The dog has a special place in their owner's heart, for they were the ones to care and nurture them. It wasn't just a pet-and-owner relationship, however. It was partnership as well.
But, perhaps they'd surpassed the partnership phase as well, evolving into something much more stronger; much more intimate.
Kuroko didn't have a word to call it right now, but for now, she could comfortably say that Kise was the unwavering, protective, undeniably loyal golden retriever, and she was the nurturing, just as protective, undeniably loving owner.
END
A/N: So when I first uploaded this fanfic, I didn't edit anything. It was my first draft actually. So when I did get back to editing it, I couldn't help but cringe at my writing. I heavily revised it if you hadn't noticed. I hope this version will appeal to you much more than the first one.
THANKS FOR READING!
EDIT: [06/03/15] After re-reading this fic a hundred times, I became completely unsatisfied with the ending. It just seemed so rushed, and it bothered me for a long time. So I revised it, and the beginning as well. Hope you guys like Insecurities 3.0! ^_^
MORE EDITS: [06/30/15] Yep. This edit was HUGE. I revised many of the scenes, and even added a few tidbits of info hear and there that wasn't in the original story. Haaaaah. I spent the entire day revising this, because this story just seemed really bad every time I read it. But of course, I overcame my nasty case of writer's block, and BAM, A MUCH BETTER STORY. Haha. Please tell me how you think of it.
COOL FACT: This fanfic has evolved from 3000 words to 4000 words to about 5400 WORDS. Can you believe that?
EVEN MORE EDITS HA: [07/28/25] What. The hell. Is wrong with me. All I planned on doing was fixing a few minor mistakes; HOW DID I END UP REVISING EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS AND ADDING MORE SCENES. THIS FIC NOW EXCEEDS 6500 WORDS. WHAT. ITS FRICKIN 14 PAGES ON APACHEOPENOFFICE.
What is wrong with me. Heck, I even added analogies and MORE fluff. I hope you guys aren't choking on it ^_^. I sincerely hope this is the last update, but if it's not, well. MORE FLUFF AND CONTENT YAYYYYYY.