Well, I have no reason at all to post this story, because I really don't have the time.

But I'm doing it anyways...because I'm super-high since a certain 10th book in a certain awesome series has come out TO-DAY. And I'll be going out tonight to get it, oh yeah. But for now, I must work on my French homework.

So of course, I'll post my story "Date Night" instead. It's not a one-shot. I'm a slow updater- even when I'm completely obsessed with a story, like I am with this one. You have been warned.

Otherwise, enjoy!

From: Karly Andreas .com
To: Kelly Quinn
Dear Kelly,
I'm not really sure what to do about my boyfriend. I mean, he's totally hot, but he's got a little obsession with- I'm not even kidding- dinosaur stickers. For real. He like has boxers with dinosaur stickers on them; it's pretty darn creepy. I completely love him and don't want to break up with him, but if this little obsession goes on, I'm not sure I'll be able to stand it! Heck, he's got a dinosaur mural all over his apartment walls, and there are tiny little dinosaur stickers surrounding the mural. It's outrageous. What do I do?

-Not Dino-Crazed

Amy was sitting at home, reading the emails she'd gotten for her advice column on the New York Times.

"Amy! Dude, you will not believe who's got a date tonight." Dan grinned from ear-to-ear at her.

Amy didn't even look up. "Cut the crap, Dan. Samantha Peters would never go out with anyone like you...she dates male humans, not male baboons."

That didn't wipe the grin off Dan's face. "I'm not going out with Samantha Peters, dorkwad. I'm going out with Shelly Gonzalez! That's the next best thing, fasho."

Amy glanced up at her annoying little 14 year old brother- fasho? Dorkwad? Was he serious?- with an expression of disbelief. "Oh, come on, Dan. You know Shelly would only go out with you if you were the last living guy on the planet- and even then she wouldn't be able to comprehend whether you're the last living guy or last living baboon."

Dan rolled his eyes. "The baboon thing's kinda getting old, Ames," he said. "And you don't believe that Shelly's going out with me tonight?" He smirked. "Check this out.

Dan pulled out his cell from his pocket and showed it to Amy. "Read it and weep, sista!"

Re: Tonight

From: Shelly Gonzalez
To: Dan Cahill
Hey dan! i waz wonderin if you wanted to hang out 2nite? mayb we cud go to that new resteraunt, coralie's? txt me

luv, shelly

Amy first thought? Shelly spelled restaurant wrong…and was. What a ditz- how do you spell "was" wrong?
Amy's second thought? This is all a joke. Like that time Dan convinced me spiders were nesting in my closet.
Amy's third thought? How did Dan, of all people, get a date? How come I'm the one sitting alone at home on a Friday night? I mean…I'm not The New York Times' Dear Kelly Quinn writer for nothing.

What Amy said out loud?

"Why is that text message your screen saver?"

Dan looked embarrassed. "My, uh, phone b-broke when I opened the message," he stuttered out. "So it got…frozen. Permanently. Forever. Yeah."

Amy knew she could cause him further embarrassment by asking more, but chose to spare him.

"So whatcha gonna get her?"

Okay, so maybe she was going to cause him further embarrassment. Whatever- it could be considered revenge.

Dan looked at her in bewilderment. "Get her?" he asked, confused. "I have to get her something?"

Amy smirked uncharacteristically. "Um, duh, dweeb. You've always got to get a girl something on a date."

Dan scratched his head, baffled- and he claimed he wasn't a baboon. "What do you mean? What should I get her?"

"Flowers," Amy simply said. Then she turned back to poor Karly Andreas's email- she didn't need to further humiliate her brother when it was obvious he was going to do enough of that tonight with his lovely date.

Little did Amy- or Dan- realize that Dan's date was going to end up far more complicated than either of them could imagine…

Jonah Wizard looked into his garage-sized closet, wondering what to wear for the night. Nothing too flashy, though, because tonight, he couldn't be noticed.

He looked through his ripped jeans and leather jackets and chain jewelry and found…nothing. This unnoticeable thing was pretty hard, he soon realized, when you were da Wizard.

"How do I dress without my Wizard bling, Richay?" Jonah asked his butler. "I need my ba-ling, yo!"

Richay's always neutral expression did not change, even after Jonah's obvious mispronunciation of the word "bling". "Do not panic, Master," he said in his always-calm voice. "Why, if I may ask, do you need to unnoticeable during tonight's merrymaking, Master Jonah?"

Jonah sighed. "It ain't no merrymaking, Richay. Imma be goin' out with a girl. Taking her to that new restaurant, Coralie's."

If Jonah had turned around, he would've seen a amused twinkle in Richay's eyes.

"Oh, I believe I see, Master Jonah. This girl must mean a lot to you, then, if you don't want the press bringing publicity to you two, is it not?"

Jonah eyed a dark red v-neck with black flame designs at the bottom. "No way, Richay. That's not the problemo. I'm not goin' out with her, I'm going out with her."

"And what might the difference between 'goin' out' and 'goin' out' be, Master Jonah?"

Jonah fingered a dulled gold belt with silver letterings saying "Numba One Gangsta" on it.

"Richster, there is a big diffie between 'goin' out' and 'goin' out'. This chick I'm goin' out with tonight, she's my cousin. Well, sorta. I can't see how we're all related. But she and her brotha did win the clues competition, so I guess she's gotta have some o' my Wizard genes. Or Cahill genes. Whatevs. Back to the real deal- I need some advice from her, so I'm takin' her out to dinner. Only I want to keep it kinda chill, cuz I don't want her thinkin' she has a real chance with da Wizard. I mean, she's pretty hot, but another one of my cousin's got an eye on her, and I don't wanna get caught up in that mess. I mean, she said it was all cool between them too, but she's still pretty unchill with him. Hmm, she's got so many relationship prollums of her own, I dunno if I really wanna grill her with mine, but she really handled that one guy, Taylor Loitner, or whatevah, really well. I mean, Lottner, or Loitner, or whatever his name was, he was really messed up, cuz he still wanted to be with that Taylor Swift chick, but didn't know how to get her, and she totally solved his problems, like…" Jonah rambled on.

Richay took the information in quickly, then asked Jonah another question, the amused twinkle in his eye still there.

"Excuse me for asking, Master Jonah, but have you even asked this girl out yet?"

Jonah pulled out a pair of faded gray skinny jeans and gazed at with a critical eye. "Nope, but she'll deffo say yes. Who would turn down da Wizard?" Then Jonah paused, and put the jeans down. "Then again…she's said no to Jonah Wizard before. But why would she do it again? The hunt's over." Jonah relaxed, and pulled out the dark red v-neck to go with the jeans.

"Of course, Master Wizard. But may I just question, what is this girl's name?"

Jonah pulled out a leather jacket- he couldn't resist- and handed the pile of clothes to Richay to carry back to his bedroom. "Amy's the girl. Amy Cahill."

"Hey, Sinead, I heard you've got a hot date tonight with Mikey," taunted Ned, one of her brothers.

"Yeah, that Michael is just a dream, or so I've heard," teased Ted. Sinead glared at them.

"Would you guys shut up? I am trying to get ready here."

Honestly, how was a girl supposed to live in a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment with her stupid brothers? Who were her stupid triplet-ees, or whatever? Who went to the same stupid high school as her?

And, well, so did all of her other stupid relatives. But they weren't even all seniors, so whatever.

Hair down, or hair up?, she asked herself.

"Sineady, I thought you had your eyes on that Tomas, Hammy Holt," asked Ned in what might've been an innocent tone. "I think I recall you and Bellina calling him the, ah, 'only hot senior left'?"

Ted guffawed. "You're kidding me, Sin. Besides, what was it that you were calling that Lucian kid, again? That darling Ian?"

Ned roared with laughter. "Ian Kabra? He's a junior, a brat, a Lucian, and, most importantly-

"-Completely-

"-In love with-

"Amy Cahill," they finished together, then sighed.

"Oh, Amy," began Ted. "She will forever have my heart, with that beautiful red-brown hair…and her bookish mind…"

"Don't forget those striking green eyes…like that one stone, I can't remember, but it matches that one necklace she always wears…not to mention she's got a freaking job as some girl named Kelly in the Times, she totally solved the Taylor/ Taylor issue like that, and they even got a picture of her in the paper, in that little orange dress…" Ned looked like he was trapped in dreamland.

"Such long legs," fantasized Ted. "Remember when she was that stuttering little chick who could barely get her nose out of a book? Oh, how she's blossomed…she got Hammy, Kabra, and Mikey in her hands, who wouldn't fall in love with such a-

"ENOUGH!" screamed Sinead to her two stupid, lovestruck brothers, pointing her eyeliner pencil at them dangerously. "You guys are complete morons!"

Sinead went back to applying her eyeliner. Amy Cahill wasn't that pretty. Honestly, Ned and Ted made her sound like some sort of goddess. Which she WASN'T.

Oh, yeah, so maybe she did grow a few inches since she was 14. And suppose that her hair really was just the right kind of straight-wavy-curly. And possibly she might have some huge job on the Times even though she was sixteen. She only got that job because she was all famous for winning some stupid Clue hunt. Like Sinead would ever want to win that. And the Taylor/ Taylor thing was so 3 week ago. Who cared if Taylor Swift was about to become Taylor Lautner, so she had the same name as her husband? Not Sinead Starling, that's who.

No, she wasn't going to let the "lovely" Amy Cahill ruin her night. No, instead, she was just going to think of the charming, handsome Michaels di Angelo and all of his 6'4", dark haired, ¼ Mexican goodness…

That date at Coralie's was going to be fantabulous- or, so she thought.

Reviews would be niiice, yes?

ADIOS MON AMIES :D

Into the Gauntlet, here I come.