A/N: Challenge from theretard5892 from the forum Fully Combustive Material for the Fanfic Author!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ed sat in a coffee shop, alone in the ultimate corner of angst. Al was off chasing kitties somewhere, and the thought of having to deny his brother once more caused Ed to sink into an even deeper depression.

"My life sucks," Ed complained to his coffee cup, half full with bitter dark liquid. He took a sip and had more bitter dark thoughts. Who am I kidding? Everyone's out to get me. The Philosopher's Stone just has to be made of human lives, so I'd feel guilty about using one. The homunculi are after me so I can be a sacrifice—that can't be good either. Al is just an empty suit of armor with only a blood seal keeping his soul in this world. Half of my limbs aren't real, and I have an abusive girlfriend—er, automail mechanic. And to top it all off, I'm shor—.

The bell above the door rang, signaling a new customer had entered the happy little shop. It was Scar. He approached the counter. He raised his right hand and glared at the somewhat confused cashier-person. "In the name of Ishbala—" he handed over some coins. "—I'd like a cappuccino. With lots of sugar. And cream. But don't make it too hot, because then it'll burn my tongue."

"…Okay…" The cashier-person slowly took the money and then quickly turned around and began preparing Scar's order.

Scar was about to sit down and happened to notice Ed in his Angsting Corner of Doom. He growled. "The Fullmetal Alchemist. Must kill in the name of Ishbala!" He stomped towards Ed, right hand raised and crackling with energy. Ed noticed Scar approaching out of the corner of his eye. Oh great. Forgot about the insane serial alchemist killer after me. Better add him to the list of woes that is my life. I guess I'm going to die now.

Scar did not notice the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign. Scar slipped on the floor. His hand flailed wildly.

BOOM! CRASH!

Ed stared, befuddled, at the exploded coffee mug in front of him. Scar sat up, rubbing his head. His eyes took in the scene before him, and settled on the shards of porcelain that had once been the coffee cup.

"OMG TWAS AN ACCIDENT!" Scar shouted frantically.

"Wha…?" Ed was still coming out of his angsty state, and was having trouble comprehending.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO, LIKE, BREAK YOUR MUG! I HONEST TO GOD DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Scar's voice reached an octave that only a dog could hear.

"Uh… luke-warm cappuccino with sugar and cream?" The cashier-person had finished Scar's order.

"ME! ME! THAT'S MINE!" Scar jumped up and rushed to the counter, grabbing the cup out of the surprised cashier-person's hand. "HERE, I REALLY GTG, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS!" Scar gave the cappuccino to Ed. "TTYL!" And with that, the Ishbalan skipped out the door.

Ed blinked. "Okay, that's the last time I drink coffee while I'm angsting."

"Dude, me too," the cashier-person agreed, mopping up the mess Scar had left behind. He paused. "Though not the angsting part. I usually don't angst."

Ed got up. "Well, thanks for the coffee. I think I have to go find Al now and follow some more fruitless leads before angsting some more. See ya later!"

The cashier-person blinked. "Uh…bye?"

A/N: Ah...poor cashier-person, dontcha think?