"HI-HO SILVER... AWAY!"
The William Tell Overture blasted from the television's speakers on the Bebop. Ed danced around in mindless bliss on her broomstick horse with a bandanna wrapped around her neck and a mask covering her eyes. She had Ein in tow, the Welsh Corgi hanging on for dear life.
"GO BACK TO THE DAYS OF YESTERYEAR!!!! TEE-HEE!!! HORSIE GOOOO!!!!" Edward bounced around the living room of the Bebop, bounding off the couch, the table, the chair
Jet's curiosity finally got the better of him as he heard an amazing amount of ruckus coming from the living room he heard all the way in the cockpit. Jet's balding head peaked around at Ed's new obsession in full blast causing havoc to the furniture. Not surprised in the least, Jet rounded the corner and with a "what's going on now?" look on his face strolled into the living room, hands on his hips. Edward obviously didn't notice him right away. She kept screaming and bouncing all around until, finally, she leapt over to Jet and swung her extremely flexible arms around his neck. Jet stood there, unfazed, that there was now a demented teenager and a Welsh Corgi acting as his necklace.
"Ed..." Jet began rather slowly, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Edward is the LONE RANGER!!!!" She bounded off Jet's spine and hopped to all fours to allow Ein escape from her knapsack.
He didn't get far before she snatched the canine up in her arms again.
"And this is my trusty woof-woof! TONTO!!!" Edward sang gleefully
Ein lowered his ears and made what Jet could only distinguish as a pleading noise as Edward carried the pooch around, never ceasing a moment to catch her breath as she screamed the entire intro to the Lone Ranger. Jet shook his head, smiling, and walked over to the TV. He saw the black and white show on in full glory with the masked man riding on his trusty steed. He was in the process of turning around to ask Ed something else when he saw a cloth horse-head pop up right in front of his nose. Jet, taken aback by the artificial livestock, fell backwards rolling onto the couch and then sliding off the couch and onto the floor in a thud. When Jet opened his eyes the horse again greeted him. Stupid horse... how he despised thee. This time the showcasing of her makeshift steed was accompanied by some more of Ed's ramblings.
"And this is Ed's horsie!!! SILLYVER!!!! IT'S HOWDY DOODY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jet got up and dusted himself off.
"Say, Ed, how'd you find this?" he questioned referring to the black and white cowboy drama playing out for them on the TV
"Ed go seeeeeeeaaaarrrrcccchhiiiiinnngg...And then..." Ed replied, cocking her head as she came to the end of the word, "Ed founds it!"
"What made you want to look for old television programs, Ed?" Jet still was watching the Lone Ranger foiling ruffians on his TV
"They mentioned it on Big Shot-Shot." Ed answered, "They said... What did they say?" Ed asked herself as she hopped on her hands to help her think
"Ed remembers! Blond haired lady said they have biiiiiigggg bounty and black guy with funny-funny voice said he's like a modern day LLLLOOOONNNEEEE RRRRAAAANNNGGGEEER!!!" Ed screamed out imitating Punch's southern drawl and accent
"Did they say anything about how much the bounty was, Ed?" Jet became more interested in what Ed was saying than the gun slinging on the TV
"MMMMMM..." Ed contemplated for a moment, "It was... EIGHT MILLION WOOLONGS!!!!" Ed yelled in Judy's accent as she hopped to her feet and struck a pose you would expect from Michigan J. Frog
"Eight million? Who? WHO?!" Faye yelled as she jumped out of the shadows and grabbed her teenage companion by the shoulders and shook her
Faye's hair was dripping, she was wrapped in a towel, and a cigarette protruded from her mouth as she stared into Ed's insanely large eyes. Ed looked at Faye-Faye, then back at Jet person.
"Bebop-Bebop going after new bounty?" Ed inquired innocently
Jet grunted in response.
"This is a pretty big catch... and even our supply of Bell Peppers is running low." He nodded, crossing his arms
Edward suddenly hopped out of Faye's grasp and jumped atop Jet's head and acted as if she had binoculars.
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSEARCHING FOR A BOUNTY ON BEBOP-BEBOP!"
And with that she slid down Jet's back, slithered like a snake to where Ein was and curled up around the pooch
YAWN
Spike, at that point, waltzed in, cigarette between his fingers and his other hand busy rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He was still dressed in his pants and undershirt as he opened his eyes and took a drag of his cigarette. Faye and Jet just looked at him with small smiles on their faces.
"Did I miss something?" his face in genuine questioning
Jet and Faye just looked at each other. Spike could sleep through Ed... Spike could sleep through anything.
"His name is Cassidy Sundance." Jet growled pointing at the monitor
Spike lay, belly down, on the couch gazing at the screen while Faye stood above him, now dressed and working diligently to adjust her headband. Spike looked at the picture on the monitor of the skinny, pale skinned fellow before rolling onto his back and, in effect, looking at Faye instead of the screen.
"That little wimp?" questioned the afro-sporting cowboy, obviously taking the words out of Faye's mouth, as her mouth was open to speak
Faye just let out a little look of annoyance as Spike did this. They all knew Faye just adored hearing herself speak.
"Don't be fooled by looks, Spike. Lord know you've never done that before." Mocked Jet in his best sarcastic tone he usually saved for the disputes on the Bebop that had to do with who was eating the rations or who had the most funds racked up.
Jet was very aware of Spike either underestimating or overestimating the situation. If it were a simple bounty then buildings would crumble. The tough ones, however, were the ones he went in double fisted and kung-fuing his way through thug after thug. And, in the end, bounties like that always end up in the one-that-got-away category. And, seeing as Faye ordered Ed to keep track of who caught, and let get away, the most bounties on her hard drive, there was now undisputed evidence that Spike had let the most bounties slip through his fingers. She intended to use this as blackmail against him but now the records were common knowledge and they used them as a digital scoreboard.
"So where is this guy anyway?" Faye walked around the couch and sat on the end next to Spike's shoes and preceded to push his legs off the couch so she, herself, could stretch out
Spike kicked her in the feet as his legs feel to the floor. Faye just smiled at him and batted her eyes. Spike didn't mind too much, however. He was about to get up anyway to retrieve the pack of cigarettes he had left atop the fridge in the kitchen.
"He's hiding out somewhere on one of the developmental tracts of land on Io." Responded Jet as he watched Spike stroll out of the living room.
"Io?!" Faye whined, "That useless hunk of rock and sand?! What's he doing all the way out there..." she pouted
"It's a great hiding place, Faye. And he had good reason to hide. Multiple counts of murder, robbery, assault, grand larceny, and a string of other misdemeanors longer than the digits on Spike's hospital bills." Jet explained, as he smiled at the end. He thought it was quite a clever comparison
"I heard that!" Spike growled from the kitchen
Spike ran his fingers through the green jungle of hair perched atop his head. He was listening to Jet's description of their next hit and it didn't sound promising. He knew about Io, the developmental planet. However, at the moment, Io was the least of his concern. He quickly went over to the fridge and snatched up the pack of cigarettes that lay on top of the silver box. He looked at the label on the pack and noticed that these weren't even his. He smirked when he realized they were Faye's brand. He flicked one out of the package and lit it. He hoped Faye noticed. The shrew was getting on his early morning nerves. He stuck the pack in the pocket of his pants and opened the fridge, quite proud of his cigarette pilfering. He looked inside the cooling box to find a few cans of... something, a few boxes of, most likely, that same something, dog food, and some snacks. Nothing he was interested in... except a can of Pippu. He quickly grabbed it off the shelf. Nicotine and caffeine in the morning were a splendid combo. He popped the top and, after grabbing the cancer tube from his lips, poured some of the liquid down his throat. No sooner than was it reaching the halfway point in his throat then did Spike grimace slightly. He pulled the can away from his mouth abruptly, spilling some of the cola on his shirt. He then set the can on top of the fridge and opened the door once more. He thrust his hand inside and turned it over and around. He pulled it out with one of his "I wanna kill everyone" looks plastered on his face and he then slammed the refrigerator door. It didn't make the slamming noise he wanted, seeing as it was shut with one of those soft magnets, but he was pissed.
"Jet!" he yelled from the kitchen
"What?!" the ex-cop grumbled back
There was a pause, as Spike began contemplating how to break the news to them and at the same time perceived the chaos that was about to ensue.
"The fridge is dead!"