FRIDAY 19TH AUGUST
Ianto sighed as he scrolled down the all too short list of names that he regularly checked up on. Two of them were people he knew personally and had great affection for, but he remained distant, aloof and not wanting to cope with the emotional grief that getting in contact would cause both him and them.
Canary Wharf.
That last day of Torchwood One still hung over him like a shroud. He was moving on, slowly and only because his four friends at Torchwood Cardiff had helped him to do so. He was one of the lucky ones. He found himself smiling when he clicked onto Carley Roberts' Facebook page and began to read her latest blogs. Ianto was glad she'd found her way out of the darkness and flown off to Japan to study the ocean; her lifelong dream of swimming with whales and dolphins being fulfilled to the utmost.
Satisfied that his unknowing charges were each as well as they could be Ianto logged off his computer and ambled into his kitchen. The cupboards were pretty much empty, which came as no surprise since he was hardly ever at home these days. Ianto didn't mind that much, though his cat 'Jupiter' often had words to say about it, the claw shredded couch and duvet covers were evidence enough. Jupiter was already on the kitchen bench, having realised Ianto was on the move in the direction of her food cupboards. Ianto gently ran his hand along her arched spine, ending with the tip of her ringed tail. He wondered vaguely if Lima would have been a better name.
"I have to go shopping, otherwise you won't get any dinner." He said gently rubbing as Jupiter began to purr like an engine. Ianto raised his head on hearing a key in his front door.
"Yarnto, you home?"
"In here Jack." He smiled again as his boss blustered into the kitchen in a flap of coat tails. Jack was at his side a moment later and then two hands were fussing the cat, much to her delight. The purring increased. Jack gave Ianto a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Should I be jealous?"
Ianto huffed out an amused sigh. "Oh Jack, you have no idea."
Jack's free hand settled at the small of Ianto's back. "I sent everyone home. Owen and Gwen have the duty bag for the night, so I was thinking we could have a nice quiet night in."
Ianto wished he could purr his content like his cat, which was now flopped on her side exposing her flank and belly. Ianto ended up rubbing a fore paw and Jack ended up running his fingers through soft tummy fur.
"I have to go shopping first. There's no food for this beast or for us." He shivered as Jack's lips brushed at his ear.
"Can we get chocolate cake?"
"Yes."
"Cream?"
"Of course."
"Fillet steak?"
"If you like, but you're cooking it."
Jack stepped back with a warm smile on his handsome face. Ianto knew he would treasure that look. He returned the smile.
"I'll just get out of this suit, won't be a minute."
Jack held him close for a moment and Ianto automatically sank into his embrace. For a moment the cat was neglected as the two of them cuddled.
"Thank you Yarnto."
"You're welcome Jack."
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWWT
ASDA was one of Jack's favourite places. Going to the supermarket was something to be enjoyed and Jack loved to wander the aisles picking out things to eat and drink at random or when a label took his fancy. There was nothing organised about it. Ianto had a list. They ambled round slowly, taking it turns to push the trolley and Ianto just revelled in watching Jack's childish delight as he picked out treats for them to share. Jack flirted with the young boy who was stacking shelves and the middle aged lady at the checkout was blushing like a school girl by the time they had paid for the almost full trolley load. Ianto drove them home and they got into a cheerful debate about the best ways to cook the steak.
Jack cooked a wonderful meal, which they ate in front of the TV and re-runs of 'The West Wing'. By 10:30 they were tucked around one another in Ianto's warm bed and sound asleep for the first time in almost 36 hours.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Thankfully it had been a quiet night and no one had been forced out of bed to deal with the Rift or a weevil so when Ianto had breakfast waiting for the team in the boardroom at 7am, everyone was in good spirits and feeling well rested. It was rather novel to start the day on such a good footing so the tightly knit gang of five thoroughly enjoyed it. The banter turned the air blue and laughter echoed around the room. However, Jack was the first to get down to the business of the Torchwood working day.
"So, people what's happening today?"
Ianto was the first to ruin the mood. "You have a video conference this morning with the PM's office and the COBRA team. It's scheduled for 9:30."
Jack sank into his seat. "Oh, rapture, and what will YOU be doing, during all this?" He directed a 'rescue me' look in Ianto's direction.
"Owen and I are going to the pharmaceutical suppliers to collect our order and then we are going to look at beds."
Jack sat up and Owen rolled his eyes at same time as Ianto. "A collapsible gurney for the back of the SUV, sir."
"Oh, sounds like fun. Can we swap places?"
"No!" Owen squawked in a panic. "Absolutely not Harkness, you'd be a nightmare and with Ianto I can get the job done in half the time. You enjoy talking to the MOD and rest of those smarmy gits in number 10."
In truth Ianto wanted to be on the conference call, for damage control purposes, but the TW credit card was in his name and not Owen's.
"Think of it as character building Jack." Ianto added before Jack could respond to Owen's outburst.
Jack merely grunted, unimpressed.
"Ladies? Tosh what about you?"
Tosh was smiling at the previous exchange. "I am going to be upgrading our firewalls and attempting to trace whoever it was that tried to get into our server last night." She was looking at her PDA. "They didn't get far, but I'd like to check it out, just to be sure."
Jack nodded, proud of his girl. "Great, keep me posted."
"Of course."
"Gwen?"
The Welshwoman was looking as unimpressed as Jack. "Paperwork catch-up and going through the EMT logs for the last 24 hours, feeding the weevils….I'll leave Myfanwy to you, Ianto. And… well not much else really, unless you want me to take minutes from your meeting?"
Jack didn't, he knew from past experience how bad Gwen's handwriting was. He was saved from answering by Ianto.
"No need. I shall record the meeting, I always do because a certain Captain hereabouts has never heard of a notebook, or a diary and probably even a pen, for all I know. And I want to know exactly what insults have been directed where, so I can call back to apologise."
Jack scowled at him. "Smartass."
Ianto blushed, knowing exactly what Jack was referring to. "Yes, sir."
Gwen was gaping at them.
"Oi!" Owen was getting up. "Come on Tea Boy let's get out of here."
Ianto offered up a withering look in Jack's direction. "Don't upset the PM, please, I do not want to have to deal with apologising to him later. That cost me two rugby tickets to the England Wales game last time." He grumbled.
Jack grinned that megawatt grin that made most people's heart flutter, except Ianto, because he knew better.
"I'll be good so long as he is."
Ianto realised he did not stand a chance and so he followed Owen out of the boardroom admitting defeat to himself.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Ianto insisted that they take his car, basically because he wanted to drive in order to give himself over to something that would stop him from fretting. Owen fiddled with the radio and Ianto didn't have the heart to object because they had a two hour journey ahead of them. He knew he shouldn't get himself into such a state over Jack's misdealings with the government, but he just couldn't help it. Jack hated politicians. Ianto could understand that knowing what he did about Jack's time at the hands of Harold Saxon, but he also felt that it was high time Jack learnt to manage his exchanges with them. After all he knew one day he would not be there to smooth over ruffled feathers on Jack's behalf. Ianto gripped his steering wheel, concentrating on the traffic in a determined effort to head off a sudden upwelling of anxiety.
Owen found 'drum n base FM'.
TWTWTWTWTWTWWT
It didn't take Jack long to figure out that the best way to get through this meeting without a headache was to agree to everything, except that and that and definitely THAT! He was very proud of himself by the time it was done. He'd only yelled the once in the entire 90 minutes of the conference, no harm done there and Ianto would sort it later if there was. Done and dusted. He practically launched himself out of his office when the torture was over. Sometimes he really hated being the boss.
"I'm going for coffee and cakes, who wants one?"
Though slightly concerned about fitting into her wedding dress, Gwen nodded with enthusiasm.
"Cream chocolate éclair please, and a latte?"
Jack gaped at her. "Thought you were on a diet?"
Gwen shrugged. "Tomorrow."
"And tomorrow and tomorrow. Tosh?"
The techie got her head out of binary for a moment. "Oh, almond slice and a latte as well, thank you Jack."
He grinned cheesily. "No problem."
It was a relief to get outside and suck in a lungful of fresh sea air and Jack gave himself a moment to let the adrenalin subside from his system. He'd rather face a pack of weevils than deal with bureaucrats. He set off toward the team's favourite pattiserie.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Ianto was pleased and Owen was just happy to get a job done well. Everything was loaded into the back of the car and they were on their way back to Cardiff having a decent pub lunch and pint before heading back. Ianto would be installing the new gurney into the SUV on their return and he would be restocking his cupboards. Jobs like this, with Ianto around were so easy and Owen liked that very much. In truth it had been quite a good day, he had enjoyed Ianto's company, especially after discovering a much darker side to his already warped sense of humour, no wonder the bloke couldn't get a bird. They had discussed everything from Welsh cakes to porn movies and Owen was surprised to discover that Ianto knew as much about porn as he did. Jack was clearly corrupting him.
The traffic on the M4 ground to halt about 5 minutes after they crossed over the Severn Bridge. Owen's heart slumped a little as he craned his neck to get a look out of the window, he could see smoke as Ianto brought the car to halt.
"Mate there's an accident, not far ahead, call the police. I'm gonna get out and see what's going on."
Ianto nodded, reaching for his phone. "There's a Torchwood med kit under your seat."
Owen grabbed the bag and lunged out of the car, already in 'doctor' mode. A phone call later and Ianto was hot on his heels, locking his car behind him. He ran in Owen's wake suddenly aware of the burning, smoke and the twisted wrecks of a half dozen cars. He could hear the crying of a child and amid the confusion of other voices Owen was yelling at him for assistance.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWWT
Jack glanced at his watch for the umpteenth time. The paperwork on his desk had lost his interest within minutes of starting it. He scrubbed his hands over his face and pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket. The lack of coffee was getting to him, so he hit Ianto's number on the speed dial.
"Oh Hey Yarnt…."
"Sorry Jack, can't talk now." Click.
Jack pulled his Nokia away from his ear with a frown, wondering what was going on. Ianto had sounded stressed. Maybe he and Owen were… nah. Jack got to his feet and wandered out into the main operations area of the Hub.
"Tosh?"
She looked up and yanked her glasses off.
"Yes Jack?"
"Get me a fix on Ianto's car would ya?"
Tosh nodded, turning to her left hand monitor and doing just that. A few keystrokes later.
"They're on the M4, just this side of the Severn Bridge….. Oh wait the vehicle is stationary. Give me minute."
Jack was at her side in an instant.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWWTWT
Ianto stood on the tarmac amid the cries and twisted metal, a small, screaming and struggling child in his arms. Owen had already declared the infant's mother dead and moved onto to the next car. Ianto had stopped noticing. He just stood there as the medics and police officers moved around him. Fire engines arrived and it all became a cacophony of light and sound. The only thing he was truly aware of, was the tiny life in his arms, little fists gripping onto the lapels of his tailored wool, silk blend jacket. Damp snot and tears on his shirt, the weight of his mobile and car keys in his trouser pockets. The child, Ianto didn't even know if it was a boy or girl, had stilled, flopping against him, snuggling into his warmth. Ianto shuddered, shaking himself out of his trance and he marched back to his car, blocking out the chaos around him. The child was cold, he had some chocolate in his car and a bottle of water.
Owen found them a long time later. Ianto was sat in the front passenger seat, with a little girl wrapped in the folds of his black coat, sound asleep on his lap. After some coaxing Ianto let the paramedics and a WPC take the child from his grasp. Owen took the car keys from Ianto's hand and shortly after the traffic was diverted around the accident site, so he drove them to the nearest service station, which only happened to be another mile away.
"Come on Ianto, drink this."
Ianto blinked, for the first time in what felt like hours. He visibly shook himself out of his reverie and Owen was relieved, having narrowly avoided Ianto going into full blown shock. A cup of hot chocolate was pressed into trembling hands and then Owen fingered at Ianto's narrow wrist for a pulse. It was still too rapid for his liking. He was too tired for any more crap. Ianto was normally much tougher than this out in the field and Owen found himself wondering what had triggered such an extreme reaction.
"Thank you Owen." It was barely audible, but Ianto dutifully sipped from the paper cup, wincing at the sweetness.
Owen simply nodded, sipping at his own drink and shoving a packet of BLT sandwiches towards his fragile colleague. Ianto seemed to understand the gesture as more of an order than an act of generosity. Owen was still in doctor mode, not buying him his tea out of choice. He ate the food in silence, his hands still trembling.
"Sorry." Was mumbled once the snack was eaten.
Owen was pleased to note that his young companion didn't look quite so grey now.
"Wanna tell me why you whigged out back there?" He asked between mouthfuls of his own food.
Ianto gazed about with wide eyes and he sagged into the hard seat as if suddenly deflating.
"It was the smell of burning flesh." He replied quietly, unable to look at Owen. "Canary Wharf, but then I guess the noise and….. well, all of it. Carnage. I'm sorry I let you down back there. It just paralysed me."
Owen shook his head. "No need to apologise mate. I was just worried that's all. How are you feeling now?" He didn't like the shadows in Ianto's eyes.
Ianto shrugged. "I feel a bit silly really, with all the shit we deal with? I should be used to it all by now. What time is it?"
"It's nearly 7, shit Jack'll be going apeshit." Owen pulled out his mobile and discovered 6 missed calls from the Hub and 2 text messages. He dialled Jack's number.
"Jack….yep it's me. Yeah….. you heard then?...Yep we were right behind it, it was pretty nasty, 6 cars and a transit van… yes… no….. no not really….. should be about an hour maybe an hour twenty…. Right…. Yes…. Hang on." He passed his phone to Ianto. "Jack wants to talk to you."
Ianto took the proffered Sony Errikson. "Hey there…we're alright…. Honestly, we're fine, just having a hot drink and something to eat…. Yes… alright. See you soon." With a sigh Ianto hung up and passed the phone back. Owen got to his feet.
"I'm going for a slash, you ready to head home?"
Ianto nodded.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Ianto headed straight for the locker rooms, the moment he stepped in through the roller door. Jack had leapt up from his seat and bounded out of his office to greet them and Owen stilled him in his tracks with a look that Jack knew all too well. Everything had gone to hell.
"We need to have word boss." Owen strode past him and went and sat himself in Jack's office to emphasise the point.
Confused Jack followed him and closed the door at his back before sitting behind his desk.
"What happened?" Somehow he was grateful that Tosh and Gwen had gone home.
Owen sighed. "You got some scotch?"
Jack poured two measures into a glass and passed it to Owen, who slugged it.
"We got stuck on the M4 right behind a major accident that had literally just happened, so naturally we got out of the car to help. You know what these things are like. There was a lot of chaos, people screaming, things burning, then the sirens when the blues and twos arrived. Ianto sort of….. well, he lost it, wasn't in there, went into shock. However you wanna describe it. He froze Jack, big style. I thought I was gonna be taking him to hospital myself, but he seemed to snap out of it eventually. He ended up looking after this little kid for a couple of hours, its mother had died, it was just a toddler, so he looked after it until the EMTs took it…. Look the point is, I still think he needs some counselling, or something, for PTSD." Owen shifted in his seat. "I'll write up a report for you. I know the drill Jack, with the whole secrecy thing, but he needs some help. I can't give it, it really isn't my field and I am entirely certain that he wouldn't want to open up to me anyway."
Jack nodded, taking it all in, he honestly thought Ianto was doing better. "Alright, I'll sort something out. Thank you. Are you alright?"
Owen put his empty glass down on the edge of the desk and stood up. "Nothing a few beers and a decent shag won't cure. Who's got the duty bag tonight?"
"I have, but I shall go home with Ianto to keep an eye, so I'll divert the alarm to my mobile."
Owen shook his head. "I'll do it Jack. Get Tea Boy home and give him some TLC, it was rough day for him."
Jack arched an eyebrow. "You sure?"
Owen nodded. "Yeah, I can call Gwen or Tosh if I need anyone."
"Right. Okay then. I'll go find him and take him home." Jack hesitated and faced Owen, who was by now at the door.
"Did you know it was Ianto's birthday today?"
The medic faced him with a frown. "Nah, had no idea. I'm surprised Gwen or Tosh didn't say anything at the meeting this morning though. Maybe they were worried about embarrassing him?"
"Yeah, maybe. You head home, take the alert. I'll shut down here for the night."
"Right boss." Owen left.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWT
After unloading the contents of Ianto's car into the autopsy bay the drive back to Ianto's flat was taken in silence. Jack drove them carefully and slowly through the dusky light and pulled up alongside the pavement just a couple of doors down from the converted Victorian house in which Ianto lived. It was a warm, clear night and Jack took a moment to enjoy the faint breeze that brushed at his face before joining Ianto at his front door. Jack actually hesitated before following the younger man in.
"You want me to stay?"
Ianto was stooping down to gather up the large collection of mail at his feet. Jack waited until Ianto was facing him in the dim light.
"Do you need to get back to the Hub?"
Jack shook his head, mortified by the tired, well worn look on Ianto's face.
"No."
Ianto offered up the faintest up curve of his lips. "Please come in. Really Jack, you don't need to ask. I like it when you are here, it's your second home."
Jack just felt the biggest surge of warmth in his heart. "Thank you."
A few minutes later they were sat either side of Ianto's breakfast bar with mugs of hot chocolate in front of them and Ianto's pile of unopened mail between them. Jack reached across the polished granite top and grasped Ianto's hand, taken aback by how cold his fingers felt.
"How are you feeling? Owen told me things got a bit rough today." He said gently, his thumb rubbing soothing patterns over pale, soft skin.
Ianto took a shuddering, deep breath and then puffed it out to steady himself. He sagged. "Yeah. What can I say? We had a crisis and I was pretty much useless." It came out like a confession.
Jack smiled at him. "I'm not going to insult you with platitudes, but cut yourself some slack, you've been through so much, sometimes….. well, days like today happen. Do you want to talk about it?"
Ianto shook his head trying to avoid Jack's kind and understanding gaze.
"It's okay. Would you do something for me?" Jack asked, careful to keep his undemanding.
Ianto nodded, his head staying down, gaze fixed on his drink.
"If I organise for you to see someone about this, will you see them?"
Ianto looked up and frowned. "Like a shrink?"
Jack smirked at the word 'shrink'. "I was more thinking someone who specialises in talking to soldiers, specifically UNIT. I know I grumble about UNIT, but their medical and welfare care is second to none. There won't be any pills or tests or anything. Just someone impartial to talk to."
An awful silence sank down upon them and Jack wondered momentarily if Ianto was going to throw him out of the flat. Ianto was chewing on his lower lip.
"Okay." It was whispered. "But I won't take any tablets, I am not depressed."
Jack couldn't agree with him more. "Thank you, and I know you're not depressed, but you do have PTSD according to Owen."
"Yeah, I guess I do." Ianto picked up his mug and took a sip of his drink. Jack was still rubbing his hand. "He's a good doctor, he knows what he's talking about."
"That he is." Jack gestured to the pile of mail as much to change the subject as anything and trying for lightening the mood. "Aren't you going to open those?"
Ianto shrugged. "Too tired. They'll still be there in the morning." He added, yawning.
Jack smiled and leaned over the counter and gently kissed Ianto's cheek. "Happy Birthday, Ianto."
Ianto lifted his face. "Thank you, Jack."
"I would've gotten you a gift, had I known."
Ianto nodded. "I know, you all would have, but…." He hesitated as he gathered his thoughts. "I just didn't want the fuss. Gwen would have insisted on a party or something. You know me. You're here, that's all I want Jack and for us all to come home safely each day having saved the world."
Jack understood that only too well, perhaps this was why he was so fond of this man.
"Come on then, since we're safely home and the cat has been fed, I say we go to bed and snuggle up."
"Sounds perfect." They picked up their mugs and took them to Ianto's bedroom.