Disclaimer: I don't own Evo or Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood
---
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue
The petite brunette gave one final look at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a long white dress. He had always told her that she looked like an angel when she wore white. At the thought, her heart broke again. She fought back the tears as she put a veil on. She grabbed the box that was sitting on her dresser and went out to the car. She was sure she could've gotten a ride with the others, but she wanted to be alone.
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand
The girl pulled up to the church and parked. She stared at the box in the seat net to her for a minute before she got out and walked up to the doors. As they opened, she pulled the veil down so that it covered her face. The others would know that she was crying, but she didn't want them to see it.
She made her way to the front of the church with a bouquet in her hand. She couldn't believe that this day had come so soon. Trumpets sounded and Kitty dropped the bouquet before breaking down completely.
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Kitty took her seat, avoiding the object in the front of the church. She couldn't look. Only on thing even registered. Lance. Kitty broke down again at the thought.
As she looked down at her lap, a sparkle caught her attention. He had proposed to her a while before. She had wanted to spend her days with him. Now she had lost that chance in the matter of a few seconds. Kitty couldn't breathe whenever she thought about it.
As she watched the preacher walk to the front, she felt like she was separated from her body. She felt like she was far off, watching the proceedings but having nothing to do with them. She felt so far away from everyone. The thought was only reestablished when someone muttered about how the love of her life was never coming home.
This can't be happening. It's all a dream. Wake up! her mind screamed at her. But deep down, she knew this was real. And knowing made it hurt more than she could've ever imagined.
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
Kitty didn't move as the preacher asked everyone to bow their heads. She didn't hear as he prayed over the young man's soul. He asked God to heal the hurt of those that had been close to him. Like it will ever go away.
Kitty remained seated as the congregation stood up and sang a sad song. The song that she had heard many times in the past. It had never seemed so sad before. She just couldn't join in. She didn't think that her voice would even work if she tried.
A man handed Kitty a folded up American flag. This is all that's left. Kitty clutched the flag like it was a lifeline. It was a reminder of what had been and what could've been. Tears streamed down her face as she clutched it tighter.
Kitty was numb as the last gun fired. She could've sworn that she felt like that last shot had killed her. She almost wished that it had. Then she wouldn't have to put up with the constant pain that had been present since she found out.
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
After the others left, Kitty fell to her knees and cried. "How could you have left me? Why, Lance, why? Why not him? Why not?" Kitty sobbed as she laid there next to the freshly covered grave.
"You promised me we'd be together. You promised me, Lance! I wanted to be with you. What now? I wanted to know what forever would be like with someone I loved."
Kitty began to hyperventilate. She couldn't catch her breath as she continued to sob onto her lover's grave. As if in a trance, Kitty could see their days together playing in her mind as if she was standing away from them , just watching. She could clearly see the first time he asked her to trust him. The first date. Him asking her to be his girlfriend. The night he proposed. Every memory made it all the more painful.
Kitty felt arms around her and tried to pull back.
"Kit, he's not comin back. He's gone."
"Leave me alone, Rogue! Let me go! Just leave me alone!" Kitty wailed at her ex-roommate.
"Kit, ya kow as well as Ah do that he died a hero. Just let him go."
"I can't. Every time I think about him, I wonder why it had to be him. He was only twenty-one. Twenty-one, damn it! Too young to die. I want to die from the pain, Rogue. I can't even look at Scott now without resenting him for this."
"Kit, ya know it wasn't his fault."
"I know, but I don't care. Lance died trying to save him. What else am I supposed to do? Pretend like everything's okay? How would you feel if it was Logan? What if it was Kurt or Remy?"
Rogue sighed and hugged her friend as the younger girl clung to her. She couldn't even pretend to know what she was feeling. She'd never had someone that close to her die. She couldn't even imagine the pain Kitty was dealing with.
Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Kitty returned to the gravesite faithfully. A year after the funeral, she was there. Five years after, she was there. She couldn't get over him. To this day she wondered why it had been him. She wondered what had caused Mystique to go crazy enough to kill one of her own. Perhaps it had been the fact that Lance had apprehended her and Magneto for S.H.I.E.L.D. two months before he was killed.
Even now, Kitty was alone. The Russian had moved into the mansion and tried to get her to open up, but she couldn't. Kurt had tried, she just grew more withdrawn. The only on she trusted was Rogue, and she held the girl at a distance, afraid of letting her get to close. Kitty had experienced the kind of pain that she never wanted to experience again, so she kept everyone at arm's length, not wanting to get hurt again.
She had realized that it wasn't a dream, but it never got any easier. She still had memories of people telling her that he's never coming back running through her head. Every time she visited the grave, she felt like she was watching herself from far off as she cried over her fallen lover. She felt detached from her body as the familiar pain washed over her. They had tried to discourage her from coming back, realizing what it was doing to the once open, optimistic valley girl. They knew that every time she visited, it tore open old wounds and made them bleed fresh again. They knew that she would never get over it.
Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah
---
Sorry this one's so sad. I couldn't resist. I know, another sonfic. But I seem to be okay at them, so I figured, why not. Enjoy.
