Worst Thing I Ever Did, a leverage fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or any of its characters, I only own the unique content of this poem. No profit is being made and no infridgement of copyright is intended.

Worst Thing I Ever Did

(Eliot's thoughts after 'The Big Bang Job')

By, Donna M. Monnig aka ShadowRhymer

The worst thing I ever did, I did for Moreau,

And I pray to God that the team will never know.

If they asked, I would tell, the truth with no lies,

But I'd never again be able to look into their eyes.

I'm a different man now than I was before,

But the things I did there's no redemption for.

The team would never forgive me if they knew,

If anyone else told them they'd never believe it true.

I haven't always had control of this thing inside of me,

I was once a person that no one should ever be.

They don't understand why I only sleep 90 minutes at a time,

But that's all the longer I can bear the nightmares of my crime.

I can never be clean of the innocent blood on my soul,

Being part of the team is the closest I've come to being whole.

If I ever have to leave this family that I've found,

In a sea of vengeful ghosts I fear that I would drown.

Yet if they ever knew the truth of what I've done,

If they knew the reasons why I so hate to use a gun.

If they saw me for what I was instead of who I now am,

They would never be able to stand me being near to them.

Sophie said we all have a past, that I didn't have to tell,

She doesn't realize that I was like a demon sent from hell.

Which I sort of was if you figure Moreau as the devil,

Cause the way I figure it they're both on the same level.

But there's no excuse for the things that I did,

There's no way to explain all the things I've hid.

My father always said, I wasn't worth a damn,

Then I was betrayed by my girl, and Uncle Sam.

When I reached the end of my rope on one tragic day,

I finally had enough, being the good guy didn't pay.

So I gave up trying to do the right and moral thing,

I made a lot of money, but, really, I lost everything.

'Til I met Nathan Ford and his merry band of thieves,

And doing the right thing started coming with more ease.

Nate knows more about my past than the rest of the team,

But some things that I've done, even he could never dream.

That's why I didn't tell them that I knew Moreau,

Because the things I did, I hope they never know.

Because if they asked me, I wouldn't tell them lies,

Then I'd never be able to bear the hate in their eyes.

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought.

Also if you're interested I have a poetry blog, Rhyme N Review ( www(dot)rhymenreview(dot)wordpress(dot)com ) as well as a Stargate blog, SG-B Review ( www(dot)sgbreview(dot)wordpress(dot)com ) Feel free to check them out, links are on my profile page.

God Bless,

Donna