CW: HI IM CARTY ! And I've never written a Rachel Morgan story so I'm a bit nervous…
DP: IM DEMON PIPER! And don't be babe! *pinches ass*
CW:*screech* WTH!
DP: *shrug* *walks away*
CW: okay then…. Ummm I'm supposed to threaten my readers, however few there are, that if they don't read my best friend Demon Piper's stories, I will use my own version of Jenks, and hunt you down and kill you. Right Jinx? *Demon pixy nods yes*

I was starving, but not for food; for blood. But I wouldn't give in. Temptation may become too much at times, but I still had a soul. I didn't need the blood to survive; it was more of a very guilty pleasure. Like that of an ex-drug addict, who relapses. That's what blood is like for me. A drug, heroine.

I loved it at one point, but at that very point I was a monster. A horrible person, who would kill for it if I wanted to. Just to get the blood, but I wasn't the only one who made myself that way, Piscary also had a hand in it. The damned fiend. He who tainted my soul, and put an ever present fear into my being. The fear? That one day I would turn back into that soulless being I once was, the person who didn't value life.

It was around that point that I got to the point where my own mother feared for me, which is funny considering the monster she is now. So to 'cure me' I was sent to college, and met skimmer. A knock em dead, georgeous in her own way, undead vampire like me. It was her that showed me that I could still indulge in my heroine and be the person I wanted to be, that I could still be 'human'.

How is it possible? Skimmer taught me the very things I needed to know (and some things I'm just glad to know). She raised my confidence, taught me that I wasn't a monster, wasn't a demon, wasn't evil. And that I might have a chance to be good. Might have a chance to be me, forever.

She also taught me that, in order for me to not go into a blood lust, and lose control, and end up killing someone; I only needed to love, in quite a few different ways. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense… But if I love, and take blood, I won't lose control. I won't be a monster, I'll be me.

And that brings me to now. I'm living in a house, with a tantalizing, head strong, and so stupid at points that shes going to end up killing herself, red headed witch. One who has shared the ecstasy of a vampire bite, and was nearly killed from it. But did that stop her? No. She tried again. And I showed her that this time she would either have to subdue to the romance and sensuality, or she would have to be willing to use force, her magic, to get me off of her if I was to lose myself in the process of the blood frenzy. But she didn't do anything, So I walked out, hungry.

It wasn't until after she discovered who was Kisten's killer that she decided that she was no longer ready, or willing for a vampire bite. But that she still wanted to be friends, and that she wasn't going to leave. Because deep down she loves me, she just needs to decide weather or not she wants me.

As I walked into the church I saw Rachel and Jenks, in the kitchen making pizza. Laughing, and having a blast. This is why I put up with everything. For her, for him, for myself.

And for the hope that one day, she'll be the one. She'll be the reason for my existence. My soul IS in her hands, and I trust her with that. Why?

I love her.