spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for a break that will make it okay, there's always some reason to feel not good enough, and its hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction, or beautiful release, memories seep through my veins, let me be empty oh and weightless and maybe, I'll find some peace tonight...
...we love our children, even if we only spent a small amount of time with them...
We love them, we always have, and we never stop. Thoughts of a beautiful baby girl run through her head, her little girl. What ifs a common denominator of her minds ramblings. What could I have done, what did I do wrong, what if... then what. A little girl, ginger curls atop her head, bare feet running round the garden, swings and slides, first day of school. When all the mummies take their perfect daughters to their perfect schools, she is left with a perfect nothing, only the memories of useless chatter about lights, numbers and sunsets. She has nothing left.
In the arms of the angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room, and the selflessness that you feel, you were pulled from the wreckage of you silent reverie, you're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here.
She imagines how she would have felt, a small baby nestled in her arms, crying softly to her mama, her tiny fingers stretching towards the light, trying to gather as much in her miniscule fists as possible. Her ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes, her perfect nose and eyes like her daddy's, hair, a ginger mess like her mummy. Friends gathered round the bed, peering at the beauty before them. Her chosen godparents so proud of the tiny being she helped create. A dream that would never be reality, her one chance, slipped away.
so tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn, there's vultures and thieves at your back, the storm keeps on twisting, keep on building the lies, that you make up for all that you lack, it don't make no difference, escape one last time, it's easier to believe, in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness, that brings me to my knees.
Her eyes squeeze shut, if she forgets, if she believes it was a dream, that her baby didn't exist, it'll hurt less. Yet the pain only grows, she can't forget her amazing child, that nestled inside her, that she grew to love. Maybe she can forget him, his eyes that her child would have had. His Scottish tones claiming her, his kiss being her source of life, her only way through. If he gave her a chance, together, they could get through it. But she was out of chances with him, and out of chances for a baby. But she had one, and she loved her, and that would go to her grave.
In the arms of the angel, fly away from here, in this dark cold hotel room, and the emptiness that you feel, you were pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie, your in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here.
Her eyes open slowly again as her wishes, thoughts and all the love she has to give goes to her daughter. Her voice is raw with emotion, tears are falling steadily. 'Emma,' She whispers lovingly, 'i love you, you're in good hands, you're in the arms of your angel...'
May you find some comfort here.
A/N I know, it's morbid but I had to do an alternate ending. The song is Angel by Sarah Mclachlan from city of angels. Please r&r x