A/N: Hullooo! Gridey here, with my first story - and it's a D27! Yikes. Wish me luck :/

Before we get started, some quick housekeeping: This is a D27. For sure. I'm not budging on that. There will, however, be some entirely necessary 27Kyoko. It won't be the main or final pairing, but it will be around. So any hard-core hetero/Kyoko haters... That's a thing. You've been warned.

This thing is going to be about 10 chapters long, I think, and I already have half of that written up, but I've been agonising over characterisation and plot-moving-too-fast-ness and uuurgh, these later chapters just aren't working for me... If you would like to read those chapters as a kind of beta-reader before I post them to this site I'd be much obliged, I could really use some feedback T_T So drop me a review/PM/what have you if you're interested!

That out of the way, enjoy chapter 1 of Love Guru!

Tsuna groaned, threading his fingers through his spiky brown hair and mussing it in frustration. Why, why did he have to be so... entirely useless? "Another failed attempt at impressing Kyoko-chan," the boy sighed to himself, and slumped against his closed bedroom door dejectedly. Really, he should be used to constant failure by now; but today had been particularly excrutiating, even by Tsuna's liberal standards. It had, as awful days sometimes do, started marvelously. By some miracle of God Tsuna had been paired with Kyoko in science class, something that had elicited a chorus of groans from the class when the assigned pairs were read out. Kyoko, though, hadn't seemed to mind, and Tsuna was too elated at being given the opportunity to bask in the presence of the Namimori idol to care about the mutterings of his class mates. He hadn't even particularly minded when Gokudera had winked across the room at him, obviously and enthusiastically, thankfully while Kyoko was busy setting up the bunsen burner at their work station.

"Tsu-kun," she'd said sweetly, and Tsuna had felt the corners of his mouth turn irrisistably up in a goofy smile. "Would you get some beakers from sensei's desk? I'll finish preparing the chemicals."

Yes, Tsuna had decided, walking in a daze, life was good.

But all good things must come to an end, what with dame-dame-dame-Tsuna being long overdue for his appearance. The teacher had obviously thought that little could go wrong when the worst student had one of the best at his side, but intrinsic idiotness prevailed when Tsuna tripped on air walking to the front of the classroom and smashed his arm into the teacher's desk, sending all of teacher's expensive beakers to the floor (via his scalp) in a rain of glass. Dazed, head throbbing, he'd made to get to his feet, only to realise that something was amiss when Kyoko gasped and hurried to his side.

"Tsuna! Are you all right?"

Tsuna had looked down at his hand where Kyoko was fussing, seen a bloodied shard of glass in the skin of his palm, and, horror of horrors, had burst into tears.

And that hadn't even been the worst of it. What with running around in his underwear, getting chased down the street by chihuahuas, and getting mistaken for a young girl by random strangers, Tsuna was used to suffering crippling blows to his masculinity. The incident had even given him the opportunity to be excused from class and have Kyoko accompany him to the nurse's office, so the injury alone wasn't an entirely negative thing. It was later, sitting on starched sheets with his hand wrapped in linen, that Tsuna had felt the full weight of his dame-ness. Because, Tsuna and Kyoko had been sitting in absolute silence. Kyoko hadn't seemed bothered in the least, had just gotten out a text book and started reviewing the lesson, nibbling on her lip when she didn't quite understand a passage and had to read it over. Her and him, alone in a room; it was perfect. But all he had been able to do was to sit there, frozen, staring at his hands as they twisted in the comforter until the bell was ringing for next class and Kyoko was leaving with an apologetic smile, saying that she hoped he felt better soon and not to worry, the cut wasn't deep and shouldn't scar...

Tsuna hadn't even been able to summon the nerve to say goodbye. He had just watched with an agonised smile as the sliding door rattled closed and her light footsteps disappeared down the corridor. Then slowly, deliberately, still with that wobbly smile plastered to his face, he had wriggled down to lie on his back, had fished the pillow out from beneath him, pressed it to his face, and screamed.

It was official. Dame-Tsuna had reached a new level of dame-ness.

It wasn't his fault though! At least, not entirely. As Shamal had, very embarrassingly, forced him to reveal when he infected the brunette with that stupid, stupid disease, Kyoko was the first girl he had ever really talked to. Tsuna could barely talk to boys, so what made anyone think that he could possibly communicate with girls, the mysterious 'other', the 'here be dragons' on the map of his life, the beings with the other 'bits' that he only half remembered from health class (with the other, forgotten half having been erased from his memory from the sheer trauma of it all). It must be nice, Tsuna thought dazedly, to talk as naturally as others seemed to manage to; effortless, engaging and witty. Talking to girls.

But it seemed that was just another check in the 'not gonna happen' column of his life's ambitions.

No use crying over it though, Tsuna decided, yanking off his school shirt and fishing around in his bed covers for his pajama top, despite the fact that it was still only three in the afternoon. It wasn't like he'd had a chance with her in the first place, the school idol.

But he and Kyoko had become closer, a tiny, treacherous voice wheedled in the back of his head. Kyoko had even been over to his house, had met his mother, had helped his mother cook dinner, even, on one occasion... He and Kyoko actually had a pretty good relationship, Tsuna dared think as he popped the button of his trousers, in spite of the whole lack of communication on Tsuna's part thing.

If only he could talk to her...

"Hey, little bro!"

"Hiiieeeee!"

Tsuna jumped, and his fingers, curled around the belt loops of his trousers, yanked upward so that the brunette yowled in pain and somehow contortioned his subsequent fall so as to land and sprawl in the most horribly awkward way possible. Beneath the flushing, shirtless boy, Dino smiled.

"Hey!" he greeted again, seemingly completely unperturbed by the fact that a shirtless underage male with his trousers undone was perched precariously over his groin, hands braced on either side of the older man's unruly blonde locks. "My plane from Italy just landed, so I thought I'd come see Reborn and say hello to my cute little brother while I'm at it. How ya been, Tsuna?"

Tsuna closed his gaping mouth with a snap and flung himself off of the older man to scramble into a corner. "D-Dino-nii!" He crossed his hands over his chest, mortified and not quite knowing why (it was Dino, a male, his brother figure) but absolutely unable to quash his raging blush. "Y-You should knock! I'm changing!"

"Nothing I haven't seen before, Tsuna," the older man teased and made himself comfortable on the bed. He leant back against the headboard and shot a smirk that sent Tsuna's blush racing down his chest.

But Dino (a male, his brother,) was right (damn Reborn and those bullets), so Tsuna forced himself to lower his hands and to stand, no longer quite so self-conscious now that the shock had worn off, in front of the older man. "You scared me..."

"Sorry." Dino patted the bed covers next to him so Tsuna perched there, looking up at the reclining male through strands of caramel fringe. "I actually planned to wait for you up here till you came back from school, I hadn't thought that you'd be home yet. Sorry, I should have knocked anyway..."

"N-No, it's fine." Tsuna smiled then, earnestly. "I'm really glad to see you again! How was Italy? You were gone ages!"

Dino smiled himself at the return of his cheerful younger brother. "Italy was great, but it was all business. Not much time for sight-seeing. Bleh, oh well. I'll just have my fun here!" He yanked the protesting Tsuna into a crushing hug, ruffling his hair and cooing in play affection.

"D-DINO-NII!" Tsuna yelped, or at least that's what Dino thought he said; Tsuna was so tightly smooshed against the older man's shirt that the words were indistiguishable. After a moment's struggle the brunette flung himself free with a gasp, blushing and breathless with giggling, his hair even messier than usual. "M-My hair..."

Dino just laughed. "There you go. I was worried when I came in and saw you looking all sad. My little brother's just not cute if he isn't smiling."

"Oh," said Tsuna, surprised. He had been entirely distracted from his melancholy with Dino's antics, but with the reminder Tsuna was struck by a sudden realisation: that this was Dino, the handsome, devastatingly charming Dino, who was foreign, suave, probably had to beat girls away with a stick – "That's it!" He pushed himself from Dino's chest and held the older man at arm's length by the shoulders, wide-eyed. "Dino, you've had a lot of girlfriends, haven't you?"

Awkward questions were awkward, but Tsuna didn't give the spluttering Dino time to compose a reply.

"I need help, Dino! T-There's a girl, and... um... I-I..."

Dino's embarrassment about-faced into a cheesy grin, and he cut off Tsuna's painfully awkward ramblings by pulling him into another smothering hug. "Aw, how cute! My little brother's growing up... You wanna know how to woo your lady?"

"Pretty much," Tsuna mumbled into Dino's shirt, his embarrassment at the whole situation catching up with him. That didn't stop him from awkwardly leaning into the embrace though. Though he would never admit it (contrary to popular belief he did put some cursory effort into avoiding blows to his masculine pride) he actually liked it when his more exuberant guardians pulled him into hugs. He was an affectionate person by nature, but it was an aspect of himself that he rarely showed for the simple reason that, before, he'd had no one to show it to. He was slowly getting used to the idea that there were now people who wanted to touch and hold him, and he liked it, he did. It was just embarrassing!

And Dino smelled so nice too... A manly concoction of clean sweat, worn leather, and something vaguely spicy... Tsuna felt his blush darken as he pressed closer to Dino's chest and shyly let his hands rest on the older man's hips in a small hug. Dino blinked at this, but returned the gesture whole-heartedly.

"You should talk to her," Dino said quietly into Tsuna's hair. He had relaxed into the hug, and began now to idly finger the brunette strands tickling his chin as he spoke. "It took me a while to figure out how, but when I did it was really obvious and easy, and I was amazed that I couldn't figure it out before. Just remember that girls are people too, who go through similar things to boys, for the most part. She goes to school, she has trouble with homework sometimes, she has friends and family, maybe a pet... Talk to her about herself, find out what her interests are, what you have in common. If you can take that first step, the rest comes pretty easily."

Tsuna blinked. So he'd just have to talk to her like he talked to Gokudera and Yamamoto? It was that easy? "Really?"

Dino laughed. "Yep! Call me later and tell me how you do, okay? I'll be your relationship guru! Aah, this'll be fun!" Dino nuzzled his chin into Tsuna's hair, making the boy giggle.

"Okay! I want to spend more time with Dino-nii anyway, so this is a good chance!"

Dino melted into a puddle of brotherly goo. "Aw, I love you too, little bro!"

"Ahem."

Both boys turned as one to the door at the interruption, pupils shrinking and muscles seizing at the sight of Reborn standing in the doorway with the transformed Leon held lazily in his tiny baby hands, an eyebrow raised and a dark smirk turning his lips. "If you both have time to be canoodling," he said smoothly, "I'll assume that dame-Tsuna has already finished all his study and won't mind a pop quiz, and that dame-Dino has nothing better to do and will finally start filling out all that neglected paperwork."

Though both boys blanched at their respective threats, it was the word canoodling that made them realise what the situation must look like to an outsider. Tsuna was still half-naked, and the tussle from before had resulted in his trousers slipping down his narrow hips to show a generous orange band of patterned boxers. He was braced over the older man, hands resting on Dino's hips, while Dino himself had his hands pressed against the smooth expanse of Tsuna's back. Both of them were still pink and panting slightly from their previous exertions.

Their faces exploded into blushes.

"It isn't what you think!" Tsuna yelped and threw himself off the older man. But Dino's men weren't here and Tsuna was klutzy on his own, so they both somehow got tangled in the sheets, and then Tsuna had Dino's knee pressing into his crotch and was lying dangerously close, his lips ghosting over Dino's collar...

The force of his horror somehow enabled him to extricate himself from the sheets and to tumble face-first to the floor, in front of the much entertained Reborn. "Ack!"

"Ah... Tsuna..." Dino looked unbelievably flustered, more so even than Tsuna, though he was more composed about showing it. He raised a hand to cover his mouth and his eyes crinkled to show that he was smiling behind it. "I guess I'd better go then, I'm distracting you from your homework... Call... Call me later, and tell me how everything goes with... yeah... See you!"

Dino hurried from the room, leaving Tsuna to watch, open-mouthed, flush still riding high on his cheekbones, as the older man left him alone to deal with the smirking Reborn.

"God," the brunette teen groaned, threading his fingers through the hair at his temples and yanking. "What a day..."

The next day saw Tsuna fidgeting at his desk, eyes darting from his bento box, to Kyoko, back to his lunch. Just ask her if she wants to eat on the roof with us, he directed himself firmly. Gokudera and Yamamoto will be there as well, it won't be a date, it won't be weird, we'll just be two friends eating lunch together...

But it was so embarrassing!

Inhaling deeply, Tsuna summoned his resolve, clenched his fists, puffed out his chest, and marched over to Kyoko's desk, where she was chatting with Hana. "K-Kyoko-chan! W-Would you like to eat lunch on the roof with me and my friends today?" He felt ridiculous. He was suddenly made aware of his puffed-out chest by Hana's quirked eyebow, and wilted. He looked ridicuous.

Then Kyoko smiled, and Tsuna remembered why the embarrasment was worth it. "That sounds nice, Tsu-kun. Did you want to come too, Hana?"

Said girl snorted and eyed the grinning brunette blearily. "No, thanks. I'll stay away from all the teenage boys and their hormones."

"Eh?" Kyoko tilted her head to the side while Tsuna's face exploded in red. Thankfully, Hana didn't elaborate, and only waved the pair away with an irritated flick of her wrist.

Kyoko smiled. "Let's go, Tsu-kun. Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto-kun are already there?"

"A-Aah. They are."

He didn't mention that he'd had to fight, tooth nail and puppy dog eyes, to convince Gokudera to wait on the roof so that he could ask Kyoko without the threat of a stick of dynamite making its way into her uniform should she 'dishonour the Tenth' by refusing the invitation. Which she hadn't. There was a distinct skip to his step as he led the way to the roof, until his skipping led to him face-planting in the corridor. Then he walked normally.

Lunch was turning out to be just as painfully awkward as Tsuna had feared, but just as before he seemed to be the only one feeling it. Yamamoto was winking over the grinning Gokudera's head (God, what was it with his friends and their lack of subtlety?), and as Tsuna watched he made a slight gesture indicating that Tsuna should talk to her already.

Talk to her like he would talk to Yamamoto and Gokudera.

A bead of sweat made its way down his forehead.

How did he talk to Yamamoto and Gokudera again?

"T-The, THE TENTH SURE IS LOOKING MANLY TODAY, ISN'T HE, BASEBALL-IDIOT? BUT THEN, HE ALWAYS LOOKS MANLY BECAUSE HE IS GREAT."

Oh God.

They weren't...

Gokudera somehow interpreted Tsuna's look of soundless horror as one of gratitude, and gave a reassuring smile and thumbs up.

Yamamoto cocked his head and regarded Tsuna, before giving his trademark laugh. "Haha, no, he's still looking a little scuffed from his meeting with that chihuahua this morning, isn't he?"

Tsuna went red (how many times can someone blush in so many days? he thought miserably) and Gokudera began spluttering, his own face reddening in apopoleptic rage. "No you idiot," he hissed, and pulled Yamamoto close to whisper something in his ear. Tsuna caught the words "the plan", "help the Tenth", "fucking big chihuahua, don't talk like you know anything about it".

"Tsu-kun, you were hurt by a dog?"

Tsuna looked over, and to his surprise Kyoko was looking somewhat ashen. "K-Kyoko-chan, are you all right? And I-... I'm fine! It wasn't even loose, but it barked and it scared me and made me trip and fall down a small hill, and I still haven't gotten out all the thistle... But I'm not hurt!"

Kyoko breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand over her chest. "That's good to hear. I'm sorry Tsuna, I didn't mean to fuss; it's just that I don't really like dogs either. I was bitten by one when I was small..." She pulled back the collar of her uniform to show a small, white scar on her shoulder. Tsuna gasped, horrified.

"Kyoko! I- I had no idea..."

Kyoko smiled at the genuine concern in his voice, and some colour returned to her cheeks. "Not many people do, it's not something I really like to talk about," she admitted with a small blush. "But there's something about you Tsuna, you're so easy to talk to. Maybe it's because you're scared of dogs too, it makes me feel better about it... Tsuna?"

Tsuna checked his goofy smile. "Oh, sorry Kyoko-chan, I wasn't laughing at you. I'm just thinking, I'm really happy you told me that. I'm glad that we have things in common after all..."

Kyoko looked a little startled, but then her face split into a smile so blinding and sincere that Tsuna could swear that the surroundings had gone all pink and bubbly. "Tsu-kun..."

Yamamoto grinned cheesily, clamping a hand over Gokudera's mouth and pulling the thrashing silverette away as he gave some excuse about going to the store for more lunch, and needing Gokudera to tell him what kind of onigiri he should get ("Choose your own freakin' lunch!" Gokudera screeched around Yamamoto's hand. "Fish! Christ, just get fish!"). But Tsuna didn't even notice.

Dogs... Kyoko doesn't like dogs either... I did what Dino-nii said, I found something we have in common! Is it weird to be bonding over our fears? Who cares! We have something in common!

"Ah, there's the bell. We'd better get to our next class before we get scolded by Hibari-sempai."

I think he'd do a little more than scold us, or at least me, Tsuna thought, but without much bitterness. After all, phase one of Getting Up The Nerve To Ask Kyoko On A Date, was a resounding success.

OMAKE

After visiting Tsuna, Dino had sat uncharacteristically quiet in the back seat of a black jeep, driven by Romario. This worried the Chevallone right hand man slightly, since usually Dino would exit the Sawada residence positively beaming, and chatting non-stop about the adventures that he and his 'lil bro' (and occassionally Reborn, the more-often-than-not orchestrator of said adventures) had shared that day. It was only the ridiculous grin that Dino was sporting that reassured the older man that whatever was bothering his boss, it wasn't too serious.

"Somehow, Tsuna was extra cute today," said Dino happily, and Romario gave a silent, relieved sigh. There was the Chevallone boss they all knew and loved. "Falling all over himself like that... Falling onto... me... like that..."

"What was that, boss?" Romario had been proccupied negotiating a difficult overtaking of a caravan while avoiding a speeding convertible. Honestly, even though traffic laws didn't really apply to a mafia boss, weaving through traffic so he could get Dino home on time, it often felt like he was playing a particularly difficult game of three-dimensional tetris.

Dino grinned, looking ridiculously self-satisfied. "Nothing!"

A/N: Aaaand there's chapter 1! Remember to let me know in a review/PM/whatever if you want to beta-read this story's chapters for me! Ciao!