Disclaimer: I am the unfortunate non-owner of Monk and Harry Potter.
Mr. Monk and the Philosophers Stone
Mr. Vernon Dursley of 4 Privet Drive hated nothing more than something out of place. That is precisely why he was horrified as he opened his front door on a fine Tuesday morning to find a man, who even his wife would have a hard time finding something wrong with. It was for that reason that he was out of place. One could always find something wrong with another person if you lived on Privet Drive.
"Um, good morning sir, ar-are you looking for a relative's house?" asked Vernon, praying that Petunias loony sister hadn't given married into this man's family to deliberately annoy him and all who respected the normality of the world.
"I-I don't know"
"Wonderful" Vernon muttered to himself. "Listen why don't you just stay here and I'll call an ambulance for you."
"W-wait," Said the man pulling an all to familiar looking letter from his pocket he read the address and looked at number 4. "This is for you." handing Vernon a letter addressed to
V. Dursley
4 Privet Drive
Dear Mr. Dursley
We ask that you look after this man until the start of term you may drop him off at the station with Mr. Potter.
Sincerely Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore Headmaster of Hogwarts schools of Witchcraft and Wizardry
" NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THESE, THESE… LETTERS." The last word was said like it was the worst word in the world. "I DON'T CARE WHO SENT YOU, GO, LEAVE, SHOE, I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS I JUST DON'T WANT ANYTHING MORE TO DO WITH THESE PEOPLE!" At this point all the occupants of all the houses for a mile were awake and on their front porches, unfortunately this included the family living at 15 Privet Drive. The occupants of 15 Privet Drive were a family that was almost abnormal; they were convinced that every house around them wanted to rob their house. So no one was too shocked when 17 year old Timothy Nelson brought a stun-gun, aimed, and fired it at Mr. Dursley.
An hour later Vernon awoke to see the man on the street in HIS kitchen cleaning HIS dishes and HIS wife gawking at how easily that, that, that, abnormality cleaned. He had, had enough of this.
", OUT, OUT, OUT, I'm not tolerating a home inanition."
"Vernon" said Petunia "I can't make him leave"
"And why is that dear." Vernon said in his most dangerous tone ever.
"Watch" Petunia led the man to the front door opened it and adjusted the angle of the welcome mat. Immediately the man was trying to leave the house. For some strange reason he was desperately trying to correct the angle that the mat was at.
"I just don't understand it" said Petunia.
"What the man or why he can't leave?" replied her husband. Then it hit him, the boy "OI BOY GET DOWN HERE, NOW."
A boy with untidy black hair slowly came down the stairs.
"What" he asked
"Tell this man to leave, now." However before Harry could say anything the man was on the stairs next to him.
"Um, your hair is-"
"Everywhere, yeah I get that a lot from those two." The boy said pointing at his aunt and uncle.
"H-have you ever tried to co-"
"We can't comb it."
"H-how about getting rid of it all together?" the man said in a pleading tone.
"Won't work" said the small boy proudly.
The man was beginning to look like he was about to have some type of seizure and that would be the last thing the Dursleys wanted to happen in their hall.
"Petunia, did you get the Nelson's stun-gun?" Vernon asked his wife in a whisper.
"Yes, I have it right here in case something goes wrong with, him." She pointed at the now crying man on their staircase.
"Petunia, hand me the stun-gun." So she did. Vernon then took quick and vengeful aim and fired it at the sobbing man on the stairs satisfaction coursing through him. Vernon Dursley spent the next thirty minuets arguing with his nephew about where he should go. Harry Potter won the fight after threatening to add ears to the tail that the Durslys son Dudley had recently acquired. And that is how Adrian Monk took up the guest room of 4 Privet Drive. The tale that follows is the adventure that he had with Harry Potter.