A/N: Okay, so I recently saw Jeff Dunham live at the NY State Fair, and DAMN did he ever look good. This one shot takes place during, let's say towards the end, and after the show. I will not be writing about what Jeff had said or did during the show for copy right reasons. I just don't want to risk it. Everything written here will be via Jeff's POV, and, obviously, it is all made up. None of this ever happened, but that's why this is FanFiction peoples!

Also, I never put myself in romantic or sexual situations as it's a tad awkward for me. So, I created an OC to replace me. That way, I can live vicariously through her. X)

Title taken from Britney's song of the same name. Hope you enjoy!

...

It was so warm on that stage. He could feel the sweat accumulating beneath his steel grey shirt. A slight breeze provided minimal relief, and he sincerely wished he had decided to wear a short sleeved shirt instead, and a pair of khaki shorts. But even though the sun had mostly gone down, the heat of the spot light and stage lights were just as bad. However, despite his discomfort, the show must go on. He was almost done anyhow.

Jeff had Walter with him now, and as usual, the crowd ate it up. Laughter, whooping, whistling and cheering resonated the grand stands, just as they had with Achmed, Peanut, Jose' and Little Jeff. They were show stoppers, some of his bests acts, and he knew it had been worth the money, and the miles people traveled to see them perform.

Just as he was starting to wrap things up with Walter, something caught his eye. It was so sudden that his brain had to catch up to his eyes. It took him by surprise, so much in fact, he had left his audience waiting for him to continue. To his left, in the front section, six rows back, was a woman. She had deep chocolate brown hair that flowed flawlessly around the curves of her pretty face, brilliant blue eyes that seemed to sparkle from the stage lights. She was looking up at him, a patient, yet tender smile trapped upon her face, making him realize all the more that he needed to wrap things up.

Jeff stuttered a bit, quickly reasserted himself, made some jokes about a sudden memory laps through Walter, and finished the routine. Then, he thanked the audience, bowed graciously, and left the stage. But instead of leaving right off, he lingered backstage and watched the crowd. He looked for her, the woman who so suddenly grasped his attention and help on tight.

Who was this woman, and why did she have such a profound affect on him? He needed to find out before she left for good. There were so many people; thousands of them. How could he possibly spot her through all that? Then, just when he was about to give up, he found her. She was in line waiting to exit the grand stands. He bounded from behind the curtain, across the stage and jumped into the crowd below.

Many people bombarded him, and not wanting to seem rude, he smiled and a made small small talk with them, but eventually he had to excuse himself before he lost sight of the girl. Onward he went, diving and dodging through the throngs of people desperately trying to maintain visual contact with his final destination. Finally, ten autographs and six pictures later, he had reached her just as she was about to walk through the gate.

"Excuse me!" He shouted, perhaps a little more louder than he needed, and the girl turned to see him jogging forward.

"Hi," she said sweetly, her voice smooth and deep, yet feminine, "you okay? You're out of breath."

Jeff chuckled a little and said, "Well, I've been trying to reach you since the stage."

The girl blinked, her lashes fanning out in dark contrast against her fair skin. "You have? Did I drop something? Or lose something?" She asked, looking around her as if looking for what she had lost.

Jeff chuckled again, finally regaining his breath, "No," he replied, "you didn't lose anything. But you did gain something."

The girl smiled a little, and lifted an eyebrow unquestioningly. "Oh?" She said, "And what's that? Um, my name is Payton, by the way."

Jeff smiled and said, "Well, Payton, you've gained my attention. I saw you in the audience. In fact, you were the reason I slipped up back there."

Payton looked at him, mouth slightly agape in surprise. Finally, she placed a hand on the side of her face in embarrassment and looked away for a moment. When she turned back, her cheeks were a deeper shade of pink, and her eyes glittered with excitement. She bit her lower lip, and said quietly, "Why?"

Jeff thought about that for a moment. He himself wasn't sure why, so how could best answer that?

"Well, I'm not really sure, actually. Would you like to come back to my trailer with me? It has air conditioning, and..." he looked around and continued, "it's more private."

"Well, I would love a 'backstage pass", so to speak, but my friends..." Payton turned to rearguard two girls standing some feet behind her, staring wide eyed, shocked that Jeff Dunham was right there talking to her, knowing smiles across their excited faces, "I'm their ride home, and it's getting late. I-"

Jeff cut her off, "I can arrange to have them brought home, if you like. If that's okay, I mean. I'll be in New York for a few more days. I just...I just have to know you. As stupid as that sounds, I have to know you. Please?"

Payton studied him for a moment, then said, "Alright, give me a sec."

She wandered off towards her friends who were giggling and smiling broadly as she, he hoped, asked them if they would accept a ride home with one of his escorts. Jeff's face brightned as she walked back over to him with a bright smile.

"Okay," she said, "give me a time and a place, and Michelle and Amanda will wait for their ride."

Jeff sighed, relieved he would have some time with Payton, "Done," he said, and with that, he took her by the hand and led her all the way back through the remaining crowd toward his trailer.

Once he had called for an escort, gave Payton the time and place for her friends to be picked up, he was able to finally be alone with her. He watched as she looked around, marveling at the decor and the space the some what small trailer provided. He loved how her hair shimmered in the light when she moved her head, how she held herself when she stood still, like a queen, and loved her every curve, but above all else, he loved the sparkle of curiousness and anticipation in her eyes. There was a time he could of sworn they turned a honey color when the light shifted just right, and it made his heart melt. What on earth was this woman doing to him? A woman he barely knew was taking him over by doing nothing, just simply standing there in his presence!

He did know one thing, she was beautiful, serene...angelic. It was all he could do from reaching out and taking her hand, pulling her close, and whisper his desire for her in her ear. He licked his lips then, as his desire began to grow quite literally. Not wanting to alarm Payton, he quickly seated himself on the couch and nonchalantly covered himself with a pillow.

"So," Payton said, finally, taking a seat next to Jeff, sitting close enough to just barely let their legs touch, "what exactly did you want with me? I'm completely confused by all this."

"Honestly? I was extremely taken by you. You are a very striking woman. I know it sounds suspicious, but I've never had a woman mess me up during a show like you did. I was curious about you. The affect you had on me was...unusual, and I felt like I needed to know you," Jeff hesitated for a moment, to let all of what he said sink in, then continued, "Sounds stupid, doesn't it? I can't help it. I find myself, after a few years of loneliness, smitten."

Payton stared at him, face hard to discern how she was feeling by his forward actions. Jeff held his breath, and watched her intently. She was looking away know, looking at her lap, her blue eyes scanning the room, trying to make sense of what she just heard. She stood up then, walked over to the window, and wrapped her arms and zip-up hoodie further around her body. Then she spoke, "I-I don't know what to say. Are you saying you're...in love with me? After just seeing me for a split second in crowd?"

Jeff stood, and approached her, taking her arms in his hands and turning her to face him. He searched her face for any signs of discontent, relieved when he saw a flicker of a smile on her lips, lips that looked so soft and inviting.

"As ridiculous as it sounds, yes, I'm in love with you." He said, "Having you here, now, has more than supported that feeling. I didn't recognize it for what it was until now."

The corners of Payton's mouth twitched into a smile, and Jeff took the opportunity to act. He reached up, grazed her cheek with the tips of his fingers, slowly making his way down her jaw line, and eventually cupping her face in his hand, his thumb caressing her cheek bone, fingers laced through her silky hair at the nape of her neck. Hesitantly, he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. When she didn't back away, he connected them fully. Her lips were just as soft as he imagined they would be. It felt good, it felt right to have her in his arms as he pulled her in closer. And his heart elated when she slowly brought her arms up, running her hands up his chest, to wrap around his neck.

It was bliss, and Jeff couldn't help feeling a natural high as his mouth worked with Payton's. The tip of his tongue darted out, begging for entrance, hoping she would allow him in. She opened, and he slid his tongue in, forever changing the course of their lives in just that one kiss. There was no going back. He wanted her, wanted all she could offer him.

His free hand breeched the hem of her shirt, and he pawed at the cool, smooth skin beneath it. After a few moments, his other hand made it's way down, gliding gently down her shoulder and side. He gripped her hips and pulled her flush against him with wanton need. Payton seemed to approve of his lustful actions, for she pulled herself even tighter against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as far as they could go. But just as things started to get extremely heated between the two, a loud knock at the door startled them apart.

The trailer door opened and in came Jeff's assistant. As his assistant looked up and saw Jeff and Payton in each others arms, standing there looking undishivled and slightly out of breath, her eyes widned.

"Oh, gosh," she exclaimed, "I am so sorry! I wasn't expecting you to have anyone with you. I'll leave and you can just call me when you're ready."

"Um, no it's ok, Annie," Jeff said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "this is, Payton."

"Hello, Payton, nice to meet you. Forgive me for intruding," Annie replied.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you, too, and no worries," Payton replied, turning to face Annie with a smile.

A moment of awkward silence lapsed between them, eyes darting everywhere, no one knowing what to say next. It was when Jeff placed his arm around Payton's waist that Annie decided to take her leave. Once she bid her goodbyes, she left, and once again they were alone.

Jeff approached Payton from behind and wrapped his arms around her stomach, Payton returning the favor by wrapping her arms around his arms and leaning back into him.

"What are we doing, Jeff?" She sighed when he started to nuzzle her neck gently, "Don't you think we're rushing things a bit?"

Jeff rested his chin on her shoulder and thought about what she said for a moment. Of course she was right. He barely knew her, and he was making moves he would usually do after dating a woman for a few months. But Payton, this woman in his arms, was intoxicating. Her skin was permiated with the soft scent of lavender, lilac, and sandalwood. It took over his senses and it made his heart soar.

Jeff had been so lonely for a long time, and it had been just as long since he had a woman this intense in his arms. He didn't know what to say to her, but he didn't want to push her into doing something she didn't want. So, he continued to hold her, but not progress any further.

"Please, don't think I'm trying to force you into something you don't want to do. I just...this feels right. You feel right. God, I know that sounds incredibly corny, but it's what I feel." Jeff said, gently placing a kiss along the hair line of her forehead.

Payton turned in his arms, placed her hands at the nape of his neck and smiled at him. Once again Jeff found himself lost in the cerulean depths of her eyes.

"You can't force the willing, Jeff," she replied with a playful smirk, "I just wanted to be sure you really want this."

Jeff smirked, pulled her tight against his body, leaned in and whispered, mouth barely touching her ear, "I want you...here...now."

He began to kiss the under side of her ear in chaste, kitten kisses, trailing down the side of her neck. Payton moaned quietly, and encouraged him further by tilting her head back to allow him access to the front of her throat, the most sensitive part of her neck. Jeff was supporting her by holding the back of her head, his fingers laced in her hair. There wasn't one place his lips hadn't touched. He devoured every bit of exposed skin from the shoulders up, and he wanted more.

He slowly started to peel her hoodie off her shoulders as he kissed her tenderly. Next, he worked on slipping off her baby pink tank top, revealing a size double 'D', bra covered chest. Their lips met once again, but before he could begin removing any more of her clothes, she began to unbutton his shirt. Soon her mouth wandered from his and down his neck. The feel of her breath in hot puffs against his skin was almost unbearable.

Finally she pulled his shirt off, and made no hesitation at pulling apart his belt. Jeff soon found himself stripped down to his boxers, and things started to get intense. He smashed his mouth on hers, slipping his tongue in easily, tasting a faint hint of chocolate, and a taste that was all her own.

Their breathing became labored as he fumbled with the clip of her bra. Once he had it lose, he let it fall off her shoulders and onto the floor. He stared longingly as he pulled her once again against his body, reeling in the feel of her swollen breasts against his chest, the feel their bodies moving together, hands pawing at every inch of their heated skin.

Payton reached down and pulled her skirt down with one yank, leaving them both in their underwear. Jeff wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up and brought her to the couch. He layed her down and genlty positioned himself on top. Payton grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down into a heated kiss, hissing in pleasure as he placed a large hand on one of her breasts, massaging gently, peaking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He ground into her, pressing his hardened memeber against her already throbbing center. She arched her back and gasped, breaking their kiss and silently whispering for him to just fuck her already. She wanted him, was ready, and waiting with unbearable anticipation.

Without hesitation, he lifted himself up, and pulled her panties completley off, taking a moment to admire the naked woman laid bare before him. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, and he stood to remove his boxers. Their eyes locked, hooded with lust and filled with naughty promises.

Payton reached out to him, taking his arms and pulling him down. Jeff gave her a quick peck on her kiss-swollen lips before taking crook of her legs in his hands, pulling her body down off the arm of the couch and closer to him. He parted her legs, felt her quiver with desire as he scooted closer, the tip of his member pressing ever so gently against her wet entrance. Jeff then placed an arm on the back of the couch for support, placed one of Payton's legs in the crook of it, kept one of his legs on the couch and the other on the floor for added leverage. With his other hand, he took her remaining leg by the ankle and spread her legs wide open.

Slowly he pushed himself into the hot confines of her core, smirking at the state it caused her, he himself sighing with relief to have the opportunity to know her better than anyone, in an intimate way. He began to move, moving slow and deep, sending electric pleasure coursing through their veins. It was intense, with barely any movement at all, it almost sent him over the edge, but he controlled himself, wanting her to reach that level of ecstasy before he did. He began to pick up the pace, pulling out to the head slowly, then thrusting it back in quick and hard, moans of pleasure escaping Payton's mouth. Faster he moved, harder, slamming his body against hers, rocking their bodies and damn near knocking them off the couch.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, he wrapped his arm tightly around Payton's waist, and lifted her with one swift motion and placed her gently on the floor. With more room to move, he lowered himself down on her, and began to suckle gently on one of her erect nipples. Payton moaned loudly, ran her fingers through his hair, arched her back, eyes closed tightly, desperately wanting to feel him move inside her again. As if sensing her thoughts, Jeff began to move again, thrusting deep inside her. They were syncopated, reading each others minds, one love united, two bodies synchronizing. It was more than he had imagined.

Jeff placed each arm on either side of her head, fingers rung through her hair, forehead placed on hers. His thrusts deepened with each moan, two pairs of eyes, shut tight, sweat glistening upon super heated skin. This was way beyond the physical, and they're senses didn't make sense at all. Imagination was taking them to places they had never been before.

"We don't need to touch," Payton whispered seductively, "just breathe on me. Just put your lips together, and blow." Just the sound of her voice made his member quiver within her, and he complied without hesitation, bringing his mouth down to her neck, breathing heavy and hot upon her skin. Payton squirmed beneath him, gasping in squeals of delight at the non-physical contact. "Harder! Oh, God!" Payton screamed as Jeff fucked into her. It hurt so good, and soon after, he could feel her wave of orgasmic bliss, bringing about an intense gasp of pleasure from his mouth as he felt a pull behind his navel, finally releasing himself inside her in hot spurts.

Feeling sated, and exhausted, Jeff collapsed on her, resting his head on her chest, breathing starting to slow. He felt her fingers run through his hair, her own breathing back to normal. He wished this moment didn't have to end, not now he was finally at peace, but sadly in the end he knew they would have to go their seperate ways. Payton lived here in New York, and he lived in California.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Payton's voice jarred him slightly.

"Just wondering where we go from here." Jeff replied, lifting his head up to look at her, "I don't want this to end."

Payton smiled, lifted the hair from his face and placed a lingering kiss to his forehead. "It doesn't have to." She said, "We can keep this going, if you want to."

"How? We both have separate lives. You live here and I live in California. How would it work?"

Payton sighed and gently pushed Jeff off of her. She sat up, reaching for her clothes in the process and said, "If we truly want this to continue, Jeff, we can make it work. We don't know what this is. Do we? If it's love, then everything will come together."

She proceeded to get dressed as Jeff watched her with fascination. In his opinion, Payton was a remarkable woman, and he was sure, without a doubt, that it was love he was feeling. He smiled as he reached for his own clothes and got dressed. I'm not gonna let this one get away, he told himself, she's too special, too unique.

Once they were dressed, they spent a while longer snuggled against each other on the couch. Eventually, Payton sighed and sat up. The time had come, she needed to leave. They exchanged phone numbers, both of them wanting to see more of each other, and with a promise to call him to make sure she got home alright, Payton kissed him goodbye, her kiss lasting longer than normal, silently promising Jeff that this wasn't the last time he'd see her. With a loving smile, she opened the door and exited the trailer.

Jeff watched as she trekked through the empty grand stands and through the exit until he could see her no longer. He wondered then if he really would be able to see her again, if she was playing him for a one night stand. But as the disconcerting thought passed through his mind, his phone began to buzz in his pocket. Retreaving the phone, he saw that it was a text message, a message from Payton. When he opened it, a smile of relief danced across his face.

P: I miss you already. :)

J: We'll see each other again.

P: Promise?

J: Promise. :) And Payton?

P: Yeah?

J: I love you.

P: Heading home. I'll call you. And Jeff?

J: Yeah?

P: I love you, too. :)

...

A/N: Well...that just happened. *Peeks out from behind couch* Please don't shoot the author! I know Jeff recently got married last October, but I love him, too! As I said, it's FanFiction! Be gentle people, this was extremely hard to write. Also, I choose the category Misc. Comic cuz, well, he's stand up comic! It was the only one that made sense to me. Don't judge me! :P