Falling

by Villanelle

Soi's thoughts during the time of her death.

Disclaimers: The world and characters of Fushigi Yuugi are the property of the great Watase Yuu and other respective companies. This written piece is for personal entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement of any kind is intended by this author.

Author's Note: This fic is a songfic based on a song by The Corrs, "Judy". If you like the song, you can listen to it in realaudio through this link.

She's Falling
by Nights

Is that what I think it was?

Yes, it was. A sword. Hurtling into the air, straight to what seemed to be his chest. The person who threw it wanted to kill him. Wanted him dead. Dead.

There was no time to think, so I reacted.

And it hurt.

Judy has her own desire
She wants to step into your fire
She wants you tangled in her web
She wants the flame never to tire

I looked up from the sword, now impaled in my chest, and stared at his blue eyes, usually slitted, cold and distant, now wide open, a miasma of sky blue clouded with mixed emotions of what seemed to be surprise and horror.

I sighed, my gaze never wavering from his. It was strange to find Nakago like this, he was never an open book, always refusing to let anyone, not even me, see through what he hides within. But now, I could see something within the icy blue, but I shook my head anyway, with the little strength I have left. I am done fooling myself into believing he would ever love me.

She's wanting
She's tripping
And she's falling
Can you catch her?
Now she's calling
Can you hear her?
She's falling down

I remember the first time I met him. Or rather, the first time I saw him. Nakago was never keen on introductions, so when he saved me from that awful man (and others), I felt fortunate to have heard someone call his name, for that name will be the driving force for me to be strong, a flicker of hope in my perhaps meager existence. He saved me once, my naive mind thought excitedly. Will he save me again?

I kept his name in my heart. Nakago. The little, innocent girl that I am, I kept that name and used it as a lighthouse in my journey, a guiding star that would bring me to my destiny, a Seiryuu Seishi. Sooner or later, that guiding star started to carry a face as my memory further served me. Blue eyed, blond, tall, ivory-skinned, lean. He was so beautiful, in his own right, he must be an apparition.

Judy wants to love so much
Can you release her from her hurt
Judy's dreaming of your touch
She'll smother you till it's too much

But when I met him again, he proved to me that he wasn't. And when he made love to me every night, the more I realized that as close as I could have him in body, I will never be close to him in soul.

That realization hurt me more than this sword I saved him from ever could.

But I have always been a masochist. From my lonely childhood up to now, worshipping a man I could never have, no, my life hasn't been really that different from where I was before. But I swore that I would always serve him. I swore that my life would be his. I swore that I would always love him. As stupid as that vow was, I kept it.

Stupid, naive, that was I, but that vow was worth keeping. And like that vow, he was worth it. He was worth everything.

She's wanting
She's tripping
And she's falling
Can you catch her?
Now she's calling
Can you hear her?
She's falling down

Another sharp pain, and I heard him call my name again, now in well-disguised anguish. No, Nakago, I wanted to tell him. Don't pull down your shields for me. You never had to. I struggled to move my arms so I could at least hold him and tell him that I am all right, that he mustn't lose his concentration in the battle just for me.

I sighed again. So this is how it would end. Just like the nights after we made love. Me in his arms, him watching me as I sleep.

She's falling down
She wants to drown
Within your heart
She'll never part
She's falling down

It was a comforting thought.

***********The End*************

Author's Notes: Short, and as short as the song. The death of Soi was pretty short and there was barely any emphasis on it, so I guess this fic empashizes the little time shown for Soi's death. ^_^ BTW, I really suggest that you listen to the song, since its really very nice.