I struggle in water, okay? I always feel like I'm being thrown in at the deep end. I struggle a bit, try and grab the water but it keeps slipping through my fingers. People think I'm doggy-paddling but the truth is, I'm struggling. And sometimes, I get weak, and I give up. So much is expected of me, and sometimes I crack, and I get weak. Sometimes I feel like drowning is the best option.
It all started in the first year of high school, in Spanish class. Spanish class was the only class I was actually excited about. I'm a latino chick through and through. Except I didn't really know Spanish. My parents spoke it to my family when we'd visit them, but that was a long time ago; the days when we used to go on holiday. My dad's a doctor and my mum works for a big shot law firm, so they don't spend much time at home anymore. So anyway, I was in Spanish class. Then some fat girl came and sat down next to me. Not being rude or anything, but I didn't really fancy talking to her. So I looked to my left. And there she was.
"Hey!" said the girl next to me. "My name's Brittany! What's yours?"
I laughed. I could already tell that she was your typical dumb blonde. She seemed really over eager to meet me, so I thought I'd pleasure her. It would be better than talking to the fat girl.
"I'm Santana." I said bluntly.
"Hey Santana!" she replied, "I'm super excited to meet you! Hey, could you help me with this whole Spanish thing? I'm already confused, and you look like you know what you're doing. What does 'Hola' mean?"
I mean, come on. But she'd got on my good side already. I may not seem like it, but I'm pretty proud of my heritage. One day I'm going to go live with my cousins down in South America. They have a super cool house with a swimming pool in the yard and everything.
It turned out me and Brittany had a lot of classes together. We also joined the Cheerios. Coach Sylvester seemed pretty impressed with Brittany's aerobics and she said I made it all look pretty, so she'd always pair us up and put us at the front. Us and the head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray. Quinn could be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but I guess she was okay. All this led up to me and Brittany spending a lot of time together. I tried to make other friends but... I'm not so good at that. I always come across really harsh, even though I don't mean to. Brittany, on the other hand, seemed to be friends with everyone. She enchanted them with her stories about rainbows and cats, and whenever we'd walk down the hall in between classes you could guarantee someone would wave at her. At first I thought it was kind of weird, but after a while, people began to notice me more. Some boys even whistled when I walked by. If it meant I had to walk down the hall listening to crap about fluffy bunnies, then that was fine by me. Not that I minded, really. I liked Brittany. She didn't seem to have a care in the world; something I really admired in her. So I decided to invite her round to my place.
"Your bed is super cool!" Brittany exclaimed as she threw herself onto my double bed that was covered in red pillows and blankets. "It's bouncy as well!"
"Careful with that Brittany, I don't want you busting my bed up. You may be on the Cheerios but that doesn't necessarily mean you're as light as a feather."
"I'm sorry..." Brittany backed away, looking scared and confused. "I didn't mean to hurt it... or, or you..."
"Hey, don't worry about it! I was just saying." I wondered what was bothering her so much. I decided a swift change of subject was in order. "So, you wanna get started on the Spanish crap?"
"We had Spanish homework?"
"Yeah, remember. I made you write it down in your diary."
Brittany's confused expression turned into a grin and she bounced over the bed to come and sit with me on the floor. And that was when it happened.