*grins evilly* Hello, my pretties, 'tis I, SG-chan! *ducks all manner of things suddenly thrown* Whoa, whoa, whoa! SG-chan wasn't gone that long, was she? I mean, I even told you guys, after New Years at the earliest! Anyways, SG-chan is here with a story for everyone! ^^ It's my first Yugioh and Stargate SG-1/Atlantis crossover! *party horns blow, confetti thrown* Yes, thank you, thank you!

Yami no SG-chan: Aren't you going to put the warnings down?

Oh, right! I should, shouldn't I? Okay, warnings here: This story contains yaoi, that is guyxguy, slash, gay, two men making out, two men having sex, the occasional yuri, that is two girls in a romantic relationship, plus MPREG! For those of you who don't know what any of that stuff is, then unless you are of an adventurous spirit, I suggest hitting the back button. Oh, also beware of insanity, as there is a lot of that x3

Bess: Oh, don't forget about Muki.

Thanks for reminding me, crazy snake who lives in my head! ^_^

Bess: *glare* Don't patronize me, human.

Okey, okey, don't kill me! *cowers* Anyway, you may notice a couple of OCs in here who may seem familiar. Uh, that's cause they are ^^; My OCs from the SG-13 universe often show up in my other stories, in some form or another. Not just cause I have no imagination (cause I do! Kinda...), but because I have so many ideas where I can stick SG-13 in different situations! So, no knowledge of the SG-13 universe is needed to understand these characters, but I'd like it if you'd read SG-13 anyways. Shameless plugs FTW! XD

Stella: Time for the disclaimer! ^.^ SG-chan, myself, Yami no SG-chan, and Bess do not own Stargate: SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, any form of the Yu-gi-oh franchise, or any characters you may recognize from any show. We do own some OCs, and the plot for the story and any general insanity. But if you come to harm in any form because of or from reading this fic, it's your fault, not ours!

That being said, let's go! On with the first chapter! (which is kinda short, compared to later on ^^;)

Chapter 1: Excursions and Exposes

"Fucking hell, fucking tomb keeper sent us to the fucking Shadow Realm again!" Yami Bakura, or Bakura as he was more commonly known, seethed, a nearly visible aura of anger sending any creature that even dared to come close to him scurrying.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, 'Kura," Ryou Bakura, or Ryou, as his friends called him, so as not to confuse him with his yami, attempted to soothe his fellow albino.

"Doesn't matter," Bakura muttered. "Mariku did it on purpose! Fucking sadist; and Malik's probably laughing his ass off with his yami."

"Is it just me, or is every… creature that crosses our path running like hell to get away from us?" Ryou asked, not only eager to change the subject of his angered yami's ire, but also because he was genuinely curious.

"They know not to bother one of us when we're pissed off," Bakura muttered, a slightly sadistic gleam in his blood-copper eyes. "Me, the pharaoh, or the tomb keeper," he elaborated, elongated canines showing as he grinned. "They may be pathetically weak, some of them, but they don't have a death wish."

"Oh. I thought you might have been saying 'us' as in us, or maybe humans in general," Ryou mused.

"Yadonushi, you are anything but threatening." Bakura chuckled at the pout Ryou aimed at him. "Of course, you have your moments."

"Damn better well," Ryou muttered. "Or you might just be finding yourself on the couch!" With a decidedly scorned glance, the shorter of the pair stalked off.

Bakura gaped for a moment, wondering what in Ra's name had gotten into his hikari, before hurrying after him. "Yadonushi! Hey, I didn't really mean it! Ryou!"

The thief ran after Ryou, grabbing his hikari's arm to stop him, only to suddenly be glomped.

"You know I love you, 'Kura," Ryou said, teasing gone and a serene smile taking the place of his previous irritated expression.

"Little minx," Bakura growled, closing the short distance between then and claiming his hikari's lips. Ryou's lips parted as his yami's tongue darted in, swirling around in an attempt to entice the younger to play. The hikari moaned and gave a little shiver as Bakura ran one hand lightly down the base of Ryou's spine while the other caressed the nape of his neck.

Bakura moved from Ryou's now kiss-swollen lips to run his tongue along the shell of his hikari's ear, gleefully taking notice of the crimson flush decorating his lover's cheeks.

"'Kura…" Ryou whined, leaning against his yami.

"Hmm? Something you want, little hikari?" The latter part of the sentence was whispered, sending a shiver through the younger at the husky tone his yami's voice had taken.

"Mm, not in the Shadow Realm, 'Kura… last time we had sex here I grew a tail!" Ryou blushed vermillion at the memory. "That was very hard trying to hide it, I'll have you know."

"But we had so much fun," Bakura smirked.

"No, 'Kura, not until we get out of here," Ryou stood his ground.

"You're no fun, yadonushi," the thief pouted, crossing his arms.

"Think of it this way," Ryou attempted to placate Bakura, "the less time you spend complaining and the more time you spend getting us out, the sooner we'll get back home." Bakura perked up at that.

"C'mon, let's go! I want to have some fun with my hikari." This statement was punctuated by a nip at the younger's ear lobe before he took Ryou's hand and started running.

"Wait, 'Kura! Do you even know which way we're going? 'Kura!"

"What do you mean you've invited a guy over tonight?" Malik Ishtar called down the stairs. "I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, sis!"

Ishizu Ishtar, older sister of the ADD-stricken young man yelling from upstairs, sighed before she called back: "You know very well I do not have a boyfriend, Malik! Dr. Jackson is an archaeological colleague who is visiting from America. He saw some of the pieces we recently excavated and was interested in talking some more about them."

"You mean those things that the mutt is convinced are alien relics?" Mariku, Malik's insane, but no longer quite so homicidal, half snickered from where he was playing Duel Monsters.

"Jounouchi-kun does have quite a fanciful imagination," Ishizu chuckled. "Though it doesn't help that he and Mokuba-kun have been watching so much of that Wormhole X-treme show."

"I think it's kinda funny!" Mariku's opponent chirped. The little girl gleefully made an explosion sound as she used her Thunder Nyan-Nyan to destroy Mariku's monster. "Gotcha, tou-chan!" she cried.

Mariku smirked. "Too bad the destruction of my Gravekeeper's Spy triggers my trap card~!"

"Ohh!" the girl moped as her Thunder Nyan-Nyan was destroyed. "Ishizu-nee, tou-chan's being mean!"

"Your father is not being mean, Muki-chan," Ishizu corrected. "You merely need to develop your strategy skills further."

"Me and Kira were sure that tou-chan had a monster card face down," Muki muttered, dejected.

"Ra damn it!" Malik cursed as he came down the stairs. He was chasing after the Millennium Rod, which seemed to have taken on a mind of its own as it jumped around.

"Malik, no swearing around Muki!" Ishizu scolded her brother. "And Muki, stop manipulating the Shadows to play pranks."

"But it's fun!" Muki protested.

"If you don't stop it right now, you are so grounded!" Malik snarled as the Rod escaped his grasp once more, taunting him by being just out of reach.

"All right," Muki conceded.

"Hikari-pretty, you look pretty sweaty," Mariku leered as he pulled Malik to sit in his lap.

"Ewww!" Muki covered her eyes. "I'm going to go keep an eye out for Ishizu-nee's not boyfriend!" The little girl quickly fled the room, not wanting to see her parents being lovey-dovey with each other.

Remember to review, please! ^^ Reviews are life and luv, and SG-chan really needs that right now, especially since she is now single for Valentine's Day .

Bah, men, who needs 'em!

Stella: But without guys, we wouldn't have yaoi.

*glass shatters* Thanks for ruining my perfectly fantastical world, Stella! TT_TT *goes and grows mushrooms in corner like Tamaki*

Stella: ^^;;;; Uh... please review? *goes off to console SG-chan*