A/N: Ahahahahahh!#!#! $ It's me again! This is part 1 of 3 I'm writing of this trilogy! I hope you like it ^-^

Not Wanting to Let Go

The back he presented felt so distant. It wasn't the usual warm back she rested her head on when she hugged him from the back; it was a back that was cold and showed remorse, but also rejection. It pained her heart so much… She felt like her chest would explode. As the tears flooded down her face, she whispered the words, "Don't go." Soon it became louder, until she shouted it out at the top of her lungs into the distance, making her voice crack and become hoarse, but it was already too late…

He was no longer there.

She fell onto her knees, the snow taking in her imprint and squeaking beneath her weight. The snow slowly dissolved into her jeans, but she didn't care. All she cared about was him. "How could you do this? I thought… -She choked on the lump in her throat– you loved me." She covered her face with her hands and wailed into the now empty street. She shakily fumbled inside her purse for a handkerchief. No luck.

She wiped her tears off on her sleeve furiously and began to cry even more. All she could ask herself was, "Why?" She tried to regain to her senses and stand up. Her knees buckled and collapsed underneath her, painfully returning her to the ground. She couldn't even cry anymore, nor make any sound whatsoever; she was just too shocked to function.

It was the winter break and the snow slowly fell from the sky, gracefully drifting down to the Earth's ground.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her head felt hazy and her vision was slightly blurred, just as it always was in the morning. Today is a normal day. I don't remember anything from what happened two days ago. This is what she tried to convince herself and she almost succeeded, but then she somehow managed to pick up her phone and look at his number, only finding herself crying once again. She picked herself off her bed for the first time since that day. She's been lying in her bed ever since, having her mother come in to give her meals. Her only conversations were about what she'd like to eat and if she was alright. That was all.

The snow padded her window softly as she stepped her way to her dresser. Her mind was fogged and she didn't think about anything while she picked out her clothes. She dragged herself to the bathroom and took her shower, clearing her mind and cleansing her body. Stepping out, she wrapped a towel around herself and got dressed shortly after. Her hair stuck to her cheek as she glanced at herself in the mirror. She wiped her hair away and began brushing it.

"Why, why, why, why, why?" With each stoke, came another "why". This became a quiet chant before she shouted one last time. "Why?!"

She walked back over to her bed and flopped onto to her back. She groaned as she pressed her eyes down with her palms and rubbed them with her fingers. She let a hand rest on her forehead while she reopened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Blink.

"I need to know why." She whispered.

She sat up abruptly and dove onto the floor, getting onto her hands and knees. She scavenged for the cellphone that was dropped carelessly onto the floor from her bed. She flipped it open and stared blankly at the lit-up screen. Her hand began shaking. As she closed her other hand around her wrist her teeth started chattering. A chill ran down her spine and she felt nauseated. Both her hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"Stop it…" She gripped her wrist until her knuckles turned white, "STOP IT!" She screamed and threw it down.

Scared, insane, lost and empty.

"Gumi!" Her mother called from downstairs.

The shaken girl heard thumping of feet and felt wind brush her hair against her face as her mother came charging into the room. She slid into the spot next to Gumi as she sat there staring emotionless at the ground. Her hand became limp and her grip weakened. Her cellphone fell to the ground with a clatter and her mom hugged her. She sobbed on her shoulder as Gumi's lifeless eyes blinked. Gumi reached a hand up to pat her mother's head. She stopped.

A tear slowly made its way through her eyelid and fell down her cheekbone. It dripped onto her hand, which she brought up to wipe away the trail the tear left on her skin. Another one appeared from her other eye and before she knew it, tears streamed down her face and her body shook with the overcoming tears. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes puffed as she wiped furiously at the tears. Her mother looked up from her daughter's lap and into her eyes.

"Honey… I'm sorry this had to happen. I'm sorry, so sorry." Gumi stopped trying to wipe away her tears and finally acknowledged her mother in her lap.

"I-I just…"

"All of it. Let it all out." Her mother said, and this time, her mother was there for her in her most painful moment.

The next day, Gumi called him.

"Hello, G-Gumi…" He trailed off and Gumi noted to herself that he seemed hesitant.

She got right to it.

"Why." She demanded.

"Wh-What?" He stuttered. Now she was annoyed.

"What do you mean, "what?" She snapped.

"I don't know-"

"Why did you end it, just walk away and treat me like trash. I don't get it. You loved me, I know that, so why?" She pressed into the silence that emitted from the other end.

"I-I can't… I just can't go on." She heard him say and felt her heart drop, just drop.

"Can't go on? What have I ever done to make you feel as though you can't be with me anymore?" Her voice sounded rough from all the crying she's done and she was afraid that he might've heard it.

"Just let it go. Some things just need to end, please." And he hung up.

"Ollie… Ollie, Oliver!" She yelled. No answer.

She gripped her phone tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. She heard the phone crack under her pressure and released her tension. The phone fell with a dull clatter to the floor and she sunk into her knees. Still. No. Answer.

"Damn it!" She covered her face with her hands. A tear formed in the corner of her eye and ran down the side of her face.

"It's… Not… It doesn't make sense."

A/N: I'm going to be working on the trilogy later... I'll cya!