Note: Originally written for onepieceyaoi100 community for the topic 'Canon', Because this drabble severely lacks said thing. But then my drabble crossed the word-limit like.. big time, so I'll just post it elsewhere.
Apparantly, this pairing should exist, according to certain people.
Thanks: To my wonderful beta-er, Susan.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece and the Ouran-high-school-host-club MOE-reference.
It really was not supposed to happen.
Really, it wasn't.
So why did they end up in this fucked-up, way-too-small and indiscrete-.. And whose bright idea was it anyway to actually build a broom closet in the back of the common room in the Tower of Justice? Surely not his –Kaku was very sure of this fact- because broom closets meant people trying to be more-than-normal discrete and have secrets and play fucked-up and twisted games like to only let the other one make noise when making out, with at least 6 people on the other side of the too-thin door.
Though a game it hardly was, if only one side of the team ended up as a good-for-nothing mental wreck, while he could only dare to hope the other party could at least try to show he was enjoying their time together.
.. But this was about broom closets, and their discreteness.
Or rather, their lack of it.
Because it was truly foolish to even think for a second that CP9 existed of 5 'I have no idea 2 Cipher Pol agents do naughty things against brooms and towels my office gets cleaned with every morning'-Spandams.
Oh, such foolishness.
So yeah, someone was really bound out to find out about this after-work thing. Though the two silently noted they would rather have someone finding out later on.
But then again, CP9 was never lucky to begin with.
So they weren't really surprised that someone walked in on them just as Kaku had finally found that one right spot behind Lucci's ear and his tongue was doing magic, because Lucci was gripping Kaku's sides even more brutal than a moment ago, and there might have been a few swallowed moans as zippers were unzipped (From Kaku's side; heaven's no if it was the other way around) and-
"WHAT THE FUCK!?"
..That summed it up quite nicely. Because sharing a broom closet for an unhealthy amount of time with a co-worker (and it was really –really- supposed to be discrete) wasn't meant to be exposed in broad daylight like that.
Literally.
For when Jyabura pulled open that door, he hadn't bothered closing the curtains first.
(And when Jyabura spotted Kaku's red-marked neck and Lucci's state of arousal, he suddenly wanted the closet to be a lot darker.)
Because what followed was this... this... –way too difficult to define! - This. It was everything, and then some. It was screaming, shouting, laughing (all this was on Jyabura´s part), and then the very much-expected question, covered in a cheap innocent sugarcoating – for what would the two do, if he told Fukarou?
...
The 'two' weren't impressed.
They simply shut up Jyabura's endless sarcastic remarks by pulling him into that little uncomfortable space behind the wooden door (thank Oda for the minimum of 20 douriki difference) and succeeded in molesting him completely.
It was Lucci who silenced him in the most unpredictable and brutal way, and thank God that Kaku was still there as well, closing the door behind the 3 of them, so that any wandering visitors wouldn't turn into a pile of goo after spotting the ultimate MOE-display, and oh..
Was that Lucci's tongue?
And when did he lose his sash?
...
Jyabura suddenly understood why ever-sane Kaku resorted to sharing a broom closet with a homicidal bastard in the first place.
More moans and sarcastic remarks were produced, and Jyabura knew that this wasn't really how he wanted things to turn out, but then the moment was over.
They heard a voice on the other side of the thin door –Spandam, for they knew no other people who whined more than they talked- and that meant Super-discreteness, with capital S.
Even Jyabura got that part right away.
Because blackmail or not, right that moment Jyabura couldn't (no: wouldn't) really do anything at all, with much regards to his two co-workers who had successfully put him into after-bliss and really – any wandering visitor would get the wrong idea by opening the door and finding 3 healthy men in a very compromising position.
And yes, there was also the fact that Jyabura's neck and shoulder were now nicely decorated with red scratches and marks and his hair was tangled and messed up and oh- was his fly still open?
.. No. Jyabura ought to be discrete for now.
Of course Lucci knew this from starters. And Kaku wasn't a bad technician either.