Hey, so there are a couple of panic attacks in this, so I guess if this was Tumblr, I'd put a trigger warning, but I'm sure you can all use your heads. Anyway, please enjoy best ship.

The first time Pidge found Lance in the middle of a panic attack, it was the middle of the night. Well, night was a loose description, she supposed, when you were hurtling through space in a giant castle, but the lights on board were dimmed, and most of its inhabitants were asleep. Pidge had finally left her lab to get a drink of water before bed at- she checked her watch- three in the morning?! She groaned. Even if time was a subjective concept, Shiro and Allura still kept a strict schedule. In three Earth hours, her alarm would start blaring, and she'd throw the clock across the room, hoping to buy herself some more time under soft blankets.

Her feet carried her into the huge kitchen, and she trudged over to the, uh- fridge? It wasn't quite the right way to refer to it, since it had a section for hot, but nonetheless, she pulled a bottle of water out of the cold section and wrenched the top off a little too eagerly, downing half the bottle in one go.

'Quiznak,' she muttered, and mopped up the water that had spilled onto the floor with her sock. Great. She peeled off her socks and balled them up in frustration, her bare feet already complaining on the freezing metal floor. She began to pad over to the hallway connecting everyone's bedrooms, but stopped short when she head a noise, her head quirking to the side as she strained her ears to listen.

'Hello?' Pidge called, then winced at the volume of her voice in the relative silence. 'Hunk, is that you? You know you're not supposed to be sneaking food in the middle of the night.' The sound reached her again, a little quieter this time. 'M-Mice?' She scoffed at herself. 'Of course it isn't the mice.' Once again. 'Mice don't sniffle.'

She tiptoed over to the island and crouched down to peek around, coming face to face with-

'Lance?' The Cuban boy was curled into a ball under the counter, his arms hugging his knees to his chest as he fought for breath. Pidge blinked, then reached out to touch his shoulder. 'What's the mat-'

'Don't touch me,' Lance gasped, shying away from her hand, 'please.' Pidge withdrew immediately, rocking back on her heels.

'I- I'm sorry.' She fidgeted with the hem of her sweater. 'I'm not sure what you need, Lance. Should I get Hunk?' He shook his head and she bit her lip. 'Shiro then. He- he knows how to deal with this kind of thing. Sit tight,' she decided, and began to straighten up, 'I'll be right back-'

'No!' Lance's voice was shrill, pained even, and his hand shot out to grab hers. 'Don't leave.' Pidge shrugged.

'Okay.' She squeezed his hand in what she hoped was a reassuring manner and settled down beside him, her back against the cupboards. 'Should- do you want me to talk you through this? You're showing textbook symptoms of a panic attack. Shortness of breath, acute perspiration,' she touched his wrist, 'racing pulse. Usually lasting about ten minutes, most panic attacks-'

'Pidge, stop.' Lance let out a choked sob. 'Just stop talking, please.' Her teeth clicked shut, and she dropped her head.

'I'm sorry,' she said again, 'I don't know how to help you.'

'Pidge.'

'Right, sorry, shutting up now.' Pidge loosened her grip on his hand, letting him pull away if he needed to, but instead, he laced his long fingers through hers and squeezed. She winced as the fine bones in her hand ground together, but didn't say anything, focusing on Lance. his breaths were quick and shallow, his shoulders shaking as he fought to bring himself back under control. She nudged him with her shoulder and breathed in deeply through her nose, held it for a beat, then exhaled through her mouth. Knowing his eyes were on her, she breathed again, and felt him do the same.

In through the nose, hold, out through the mouth.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Finally, his frame wilted against her and he released her hand.

'Thanks, Pidge,' he murmured, and she turned her head toward him.

'Does that happen often?' she asked, and he laid his head on her shoulder.

'Not as much anymore,' he admitted, 'but I was on medication back at the Garrison, but I only used it when it got really bad.' Pidge sighed in understanding.

'They're still there, aren't they? On Earth, I mean.' Lance nodded and Pidge felt her shoulder growing wet. She didn't say anything about that.

'I thought I'd be fine,' he muttered, his voice so quiet and hoarse she almost didn't hear it, 'this hasn't happened in months, even before we found the lions.' She reached for her water and pushed it into his hands.

'Drink.' Lance lifted his head and fixed a confused expression on her. She tried to ignore how red-rimmed his eyes were, or how his lip would tremble every now and then. 'You'll dehydrate yourself. Drink.' Lance hesitated, but after seeing the stern look on Pidge's face, took a deep swallow from the bottle. As he handed it back, the sleeve of his shirt pulled back, and she caught a glimpse of his forearm, raw with scratches.

'Lance,' she breathed, and he followed her gaze, quickly pulling his sleeve back into place.

'I- It's nothing,' he stuttered, and Pidge scowled at him.

'Like hell it's nothing,' she growled. 'Let me see.' Lance tucked his arm into his chest protectively.

'I swear, Pidge, it's nothing. It's just-' he hissed as Pidge wrenched his arm back over and peeled back his sleeve. Several long scratches crisscrossed along the length of his forearm, some so aggressively etched into his skin that they were bleeding.

'Oh, Lance...' her voice lost its dangerous edge as she traced her fingers along one of the longer ones.

'Pidge, it's not what you think.' She flicked her eyes up to meet his, begging for an explanation. 'I use my nails to ground myself during an attack. It's something to focus on aside from the fear.' Pidge shook her head.

'You... you can't...' She leaned heavily on him. 'You can't do that, Lance. Next time, come to me, or Hunk, or anyone.' She bit her lip and touched his chin, turning his head to look at him properly. 'You have people here to help. Just send me a message and I'll come to you.' He held her gaze, and she coughed awkwardly. 'We, I mean. Any of us.'

'I'll try,' he whispered, tears beginning to form in his eyes again. Without thinking, Pidge reached up and brushed them away with her thumb. Lance leaned into her touch and she remembered herself.

'S-sorry,' she stammered, and pulled her hand away. 'We should probably go to bed. Shiro is gonna lose it if we sleep in.' She staggered to her feet, pulling Lance up with her. They slowly made their way back to their rooms, which were right beside each other.

'Can- can you stay with me?' Lance blurted out, and Pidge choked at the implication.

'I, uh, I...' Words began to fail her. 'Can you elaborate on that?'

'Not in a weird way, or anything,' he said quickly, 'I just... I can sleep on the floor, if you want. I just don't want to be in an empty room.' Pidge's expression softened, and she offered him a rare smile.

'You don't have to sleep on the floor,' she muttered, and pulled him into his room.

His room was much tidier than hers, with nothing on the floor except for the game setup she'd rigged up so they could play on the Mercury Game Flux they'd picked up at the space mall. His pyjamas were folded neatly and laying over the arm of the chair in the corner, and his alarm clock read 3:25. Quiznak. Throwing her balled up socks into a corner and slipping her glasses off and onto the table, she lifted up the blankets on his bed and crawled in. Hesitantly, Lance kicked off his shoes and socks and followed her. It should be noted that this was a single bed, and therefore just a little too small for two people, even if one of them was barely five feet.

Lance's arm settled around Pidge's waist, and she stiffened at the touch.

'Is this okay?'

'It's fine,' she replied, 'I just wasn't expecting it.'

'Sorry,' he said, and withdrew his arm. Pidge twisted, rolling over to face her teammate.

'It's okay, Lance. I- whatever you need, I'm here.' She tucked her head into his firm chest and tried to ignore the way his pulse picked up at the contact. His arm slid around her again, and he drew her closer.

'I'm going to make you so many peanut butter cookies,' he murmured into her hair, and she smiled.

'Good luck with that. I'm not sure green goo is easily shaped into cookies.'

'You're a really good friend, Pidge.'

'Go to sleep Lance.'

Pidge awoke slowly the next morning, or whatever passed for morning on the ship. The lights were back on, which was a good indication of the day cycle. She pulled the blanket back over her head and snuggled farther into the warm chest in front of- wait, what? She cracked her eyes open and peeked up, seeing the still-asleep form of Lance curled around her protectively. Squashing down the bloom of heat that arose in her chest, she nudged him gently.

'Lance.' Another nudge. 'Lance.' A sharp poke this time. 'Lance, wake up.' The boy holding her groaned stretched out, his arms brushing the wall before he wound them back around her and fell asleep again.

'Quiznak, Lance.' She was thoroughly trapped. This was life now. Maybe her teammates could bring her computer in so she could get some work done. Without warning, the door to Lance's room swished open and Shiro stalked in.

'Lance, I swear to God, if you're not dressed and in your lion in the next ten... minutes...' He trailed off when he saw Pidge tangled in Lance's long arms.

'Hey, Shiro,' she said casually, fighting back a blush as best she could, 'it's not what you think.' Shiro crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

'What I think, Pidge,' Shiro began, a muscle in his cheek twitching, 'is that you are both an hour behind schedule, so it would be in your best interest to suit up and get down to the hangar.' When Pidge hesitated, he raised an eyebrow. 'Now.' Pidge nodded and squirmed against the surprisingly strong arms holding her in place, finally managing to loosen his grip by rolling them both off the bed and onto the cold metal floor. They hit the ground with a thump and Pidge shot up, snatching her glasses off the table and her socks off the floor in one smooth movement before she sprinted out the door and down the hall to her hangar.

She glanced at her watch- seven?!- and cursed. No time for breakfast, no time for adjustments to Green, not even time to brush her quiznaking teeth.' She rubbed her sleeve across them in an attempt to rid herself of morning breath and pulled her now dry socks onto her feet, hopping through the castle on one foot. She grabbed her suit off her desk in her lab and slipped into it, just as the mice gathered around her feet.

'Sorry, guys, kind of busy here- oh.' They hoisted what looked to be an apple at her, and she plucked it out of their tiny... hands? Paws? 'Thanks,' she said, giving it an experimental sniff before deciding that she didn't care what it was, and bit into it. Finding that it tasted at least somewhat fruity, she smiled at them and raced up the ramp that Green had extended down to her.

The second her seat was in place, she slammed her controls forward and rocketed out to join the other three paladins that were ready and waiting.

'Hey Piiiiidge.' Hunk's voice was teasing over the comms. 'Late night?' Pidge rolled her eyes and accidentally bumped him out of formation.

'I was up until three trying to figure out how to boost the processing power on your lion, Hunk.' The yellow paladin grinned onscreen.

'That's not what I heard from Allura,' he singsonged back at her, and she scowled. 'She said that the mice said that you didn't go back to your room last night, and then Shiro just came back from Lance's room, and guess what he found?' Pidge slammed her fist down on the 'end call' button, and leaned back in her seat.

Stupid Lance. Stupid mice. She sighed. Stupid her. How hard would it have been to turn him down? To say sorry Lance, can't do it tonight. She pulled her legs up under her and leaned her head on her fist. It would have been impossible. Finally, the blue lion raced up to them, and she reactivated her comms.

'Finally,' Keith muttered, 'get enough beauty sleep, Lance?' She heard a scoff.

'Some of us like to take care of their personal appearance, Keith.' Lance's voice was light. Teasing, even, as if last night hadn't even happened.

'All right, that enough,' Shiro scolded, and the two of them fell silent. 'Allura designed a few new training exercises for us to run through today, and I don't want to hear any complaining, got it?' Everyone muttered in response. 'Good. Our first drill is space survival.' Everyone groaned.

'Seriously, Shiro?' Lance's voice was petulant but Pidge couldn't find it in herself to disagree with him. 'If I'd known we were getting launched into space without our lions, I'd have just stayed in bed.'

'As much as I hate to agree with Lance, I have to say, I agree with Lance,' Keith grumbled. 'Can we skip survival today, Shiro? I don't think anyone is in the right mindset, especially with this weird Pidge and Lance thing going on.' Pidge bristled.

'And what thing would that be exactly, Keith?' Her voice was sharp, daring him to challenge her, but he stayed quiet. 'Hunk, you're with me.'

'Aw maaaaan,' Hunk whined, but flew up to join her anyway.

'Thank you, Pidge,' Shiro gave her a half smile onscreen, 'instead of our usual half-hour drill, we'll be aiming for forty-five minutes.' Pidge nodded and set a timer to go off every fifteen minutes. 'Link your comms to each other only, but remember that Allura will be able to monitor you in the castle, so if you think you can't make it, just let her know. Otherwise, you two are on your own.' Hunk was whimpering beside her, but she steeled herself.

'You'll be fine, Hunk.' She sealed her helmet and opened Green's hatch, leaping out without waiting for Hunk to respond.

She had an odd relationship with open space. When she was Pidge Gunderson, when she had an objective to focus on, it didn't matter where she was, or what was in her way. She got the job done. Take all of that away, and she was Katie Holt again, the quiet girl who preferred to squirrel herself away in a tiny nook in the corner of a lab or library and watch the world pass by without her.

As Hunk drifted toward her, she swallowed hard.

'We're ready, Shiro,' she said as she grabbed Hunk's arm to keep them from floating away from each other, 'switching comms now.' She reached up and tapped the side of her helmet, silencing Keith and Lance's arguing. Hunk mirrored her, and the three remaining paladins swept into action, pushing Yellow and Green back to the castle and disappearing inside. Pidge activated her timer and linked her arm through Hunk's.

'Sound off every fifteen minutes,' she instructed, and she felt him exhale roughly.

'Got it.' They lapsed into a silence that could have been described as comfortable, if they hadn't been marooned in deep space with no chance of rescue for almost an hour.

'Hey Pidge?' Hunk's voice was uncertain, clearly wanting to talk about something, but not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

'We should be conserving our oxygen, Hunk,' she reprimanded lightly, but still he pushed on.

'No, I know. I just... what exactly is going on between you and Lance?' Her veins turned to ice and she tilted her head toward him.

'Nothing's going on. He just... I found him...' She groaned. 'I shouldn't be talking to you about this. If you want to know what happened, ask him.' The silence dragged on again, and despite her best efforts to think about anything else, ocean eyes rimmed with red kept invading her thoughts. She pushed them away and tried to recite pi to as many digits as she could until an alert popped up on her visor.

'Sound off. Pidge here.'

'Hunk here,' he replied, and pressed his luck again. 'He had a panic attack, didn't he?' Pidge almost pushed him away in surprise.

'You know about those?' Hunk sighed and reached up to drag a hand over his face before remembering he had a full helmet on.

'I saw the medication by his bed at the Garrison, but to my knowledge, he'd been fine for months before that.' Pidge bit her lip and didn't answer, choosing instead to let the suffocating silence lapse over them.

She'd never really had friends before the Garrison, and even when she'd been assigned to Lance and Hunk's team, she'd kept her distance, focused solely on finding any information on Matt and her father. Pizza and talking about girls? No thanks. Of course, that also left her socially stunted and sharp with her words, mistrustful of anyone who tried to get close to her. She hadn't been at the Garrison to make friends, but Lance and Hunk had wormed through her walls and slowly, and with great persistence on their part, she'd warmed up to them.

Her alarm went off, signifying the thirty minute mark.

'Sound off,' she muttered, 'Pidge here.'

'Hunk here,' he said, and even though she could tell he wanted to say more, he kept quiet.

'It was bad, Hunk,' she breathed, and his arm twitched in hers. 'I always thought his pilot ego was sort of an act, covering up some insecure part of him, but...' She balled her hands into fists. 'I didn't realize it was a coping mechanism, this much of a crutch for him.' She blinked hard, trying to clear her mind. 'I keep remembering his eyes, she admitted, 'every time I let my brain relax, his sad eyes are staring back at me.' She gripped Hunk's arm, probably too tightly, but he didn't complain. 'What was I supposed to do, Hunk? I don't know the first thing about clinical anxiety.' She paused, then reworded her thoughts. 'Well, I know as much as anyone else, I guess. The imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and GABA is the most likely cause, causing the amygdala to malfunction, triggering physical symptoms that can-'

'I thought we were supposed to be conserving oxygen,' Hunk quipped, and Pidge clicked her jaw shut. 'Clinical knowledge isn't going to help him, Pidge.' She scoffed miserably.

'Great. The one thing I can do, and it's completely useless.' Hunk nudged her and caught her eye with a sad smile.

'Your knowledge may be unhelpful in practice, but you aren't.'

'I asked him if he needed you or Shiro, but he wouldn't let me leave,' she admitted, 'I know you would have calmed him down faster.' Hunk shrugged.

'Who can say? All that really matters is that you were there for him. He'll have his own strategy for coping, and if you want to want to talk to him about it, then just do it. Let him tell you how to help.' Pidge gave him a tiny smile.

'Thanks Hunk.' She gave him a sly grin. 'You know, I don't care what they say about you. You're a smart guy.' Hunk stilled in her arm and he whipped his head toward her.

'What? What are people saying? Do they think I'm an idiot?' Pidge let out a chuckle and laid her head on his shoulder.

'Don't even worry about it,' she said, her heart feeling lighter by the second. She had worth. She could help.

The rest of their drill passed without incident, and Shiro came to pick them up just as Pidge's last alarm went off.

'How was it, guys?' Pidge rolled her eyes at him.

'Boy, I sure do love being in the crushing vacuum of space,' she snapped, but her eyes softened as they landed on Hunk. 'Had a good partner, though.' Shiro smiled and closed the hatch, flying them all back to the castle in a comfortable silence.

Oh my God. Me? Writing? Doubtful.