More crack. This was...initially intended on being a fluffy IchimaruKira oneshot. However. It...didn't end up that way x-x. Enjoy!

Translations:

Nee: Hey
Iie: No
Un: Yeah
Ano...: Um...
Soka: I see

Hopefully you all know what taichou and fukutaichou mean by now XD, as well as all of the suffixes.

"Nee, Kira-kun, I thought you liked onions. Or was that Hinamori-chan?" Renji paused in the middle of his meal to ponder which of his friends preferred the vegetable. "Or maybe Hisagi-senpai?"

They had been transferred, once again, to the transient world. This time, it was to survey the new Ninth Division taichou, Kurosaki Ichigo. Hisagi had been kept back, not surprisingly, to take care of his division while Ichigo attended his daily routine of school and normal life. Also, since Ichigo was still fairly new at the whole 'proper shinigami' thing, he needed a couple of experienced people to help him along. Renji and Kira had been chosen because both Byakuya and the new Third Division captain, Amagai, had volunteered their fukutaichou.

Kira, at first, was afraid to leave his new taichou because, really, who would think to, as a fukutaichou, abandon a brand-new taichou on the spot? But Amagai had insisted, and Kira was certainly not one to disagree with his taichou's orders. Byakuya, on the other hand, was disgruntle (not angry, Kuchiki Byakuya didn't get angry) with his fukutaichou for a few, more personal, reasons. Either way, the both of them had been volunteered, against their wills. Renji was, naturally, pissed about the decision while Kira was, also naturally, complacent with his commanding officer's orders.

So, they had taken to hiding out in Ichigo's room. Nightly fights over who got the closet and who got the floor nearly always ended in the less-aggressive Kira surrendering the comfy sleeping place to Renji. That, in turn, made the noble (not in the Byakuya sense of the word, but in the chivalrous sense) Ichigo give up his bed to the unfortunate Kira, because even if Ichigo was a jerk to some people, Kira just looked way too pathetic when he submitted to Renji. The all-too-polite 'no, please, I insist' banter between the two of them annoyed Renji until he shouted at them, from inside his closet, to shut up and go to sleep. Generally, they ended up switching every night unless one or the other seemed exceptionally tired.

But back to the onions.

As far as Renji could remember, Kira would and most certainly did eat onions with everything. He remembered this vividly because he also remembered thinking how strange it was that the blonde never seemed to have bad breath.

Kira simply shook his head. "Ichimaru-taichou doesn't like me eating them," he explained, "he says it gives me bad breath."

Renji's eye twitched slightly. So Ichimaru was behind this. Still, if that's how Kira wanted to be... He sighed and changed the subject, reaching a hand over to flick the mass of hair that cascaded down half of his friend's hair. "Why don't you change your hair, anyway? It hides your face too much." This could have been taken many ways, many wrong ways, but Kira was more mature than that.

"Ichimaru-taichou said he likes my hair this way because he's the only one that can see my face whenever he wants to." Kira's voice was monotone if nothing else, maybe slightly submissive, but not depressed. How could he act so calm about being dominated like that? Especially by that Ichimaru bastard?

Renji sighed in annoyance. Ichimaru again. Did Kira do anything that didn't revolve around his taichou? "Alright," he seethed, "then why are you still in your kimono? We're in the transient world, and you should change into something more comfortable!"

"Iie," Kira muttered, looking down at his cup of tea that he rested between his hands. It seemed to have some sort of calming effect-- maybe that's why Renji was always so hyper. After all, the redhead certainly didn't like tea (though he had complained once or twice that Kuchiki-taichou never let him have any). "Ichimaru-taichou told me to stay in proper attire at all times, in case I was to be called back in an emergency. He said it would be disgraceful for his fukutaichou to come back in some 'hippie getup'." He eyed Renji's choice of brightly-colored clothing, and thought that perhaps Ichimaru was only looking out for his best interests. Really, did a lot of people wear that kind of stuff? It had certainly not been popular while he was alive.

Not again. How long could Ichimaru control Kira? This was ridiculous! Renji growled in frustration. "Whatever, isn't it time for bed?"

Kira nodded solemnly, noticing but not acknowledging his friend's displeasure at his responses. After all, there wasn't much he could do about it; he'd promised he would obey Ichimaru's orders, and they weren't that outrageous.

"Take your plates out before you go to sleep," Ichigo muttered from his bed. He had been listening to the bickering for some time now, and decided that he either felt bad for Kira, or that the blonde needed to grow a pair. Deciding he'd met Ichimaru, he felt bad for him. He shuddered slightly-- what it must be like to be that person's subordinate.

"I'll take 'em," Renji offered, much to both Ichigo and Kira's surprise. Though, the minute he left the room, Kira wished he had followed. An uncomfortable silence settled between him and Ichigo. Even though the two had talked frequently, on and off business topics, Kira still didn't feel familiar around the new taichou.

"Ano...Kurosaki-taichou?" Kira murmured, choosing to lean against the side of the bed.

At first, Ichigo didn't respond, not used to being called by the title. However, he cracked an eye open and glanced towards the fukutaichou. "Hm?"

"How is Hisagi-senpai doing?" he wondered, studying Ichigo's room with a casual unobservance. His eyes were focused in front of him, but his attention hung onto Ichigo's next words.

Though Kira couldn't see him, Ichigo shrugged. "He's fine, I guess. I don't know him well enough to really say..." It had only been a month or so since Ichigo had been instated as the Ninth Division taichou, and he had only spoken with Hisagi about business related means. Though he didn't feel any hostility from the veteran shinigami, he didn't feel an aura of friendliness, either.

"Soka." Kira fell back into silence. Had he really expected Ichigo to know? Had he expected him to even care? Why would he, when he had only become a taichou in the first place because it was offered to him by perhaps the only shinigami Ichigo really liked-- Rukia. Not that she had the initial say, but she was the one that came to him about the idea, and eventually convinced him to go through with it.

Sure, he didn't mind Renji, and there were times when Ukitake came in handy, but if Ichigo had to be honest, he wouldn't admit to liking any of those people. Well, maybe Renji, but that was just because they were so alike (which, of course, he wouldn't admit). He might not even admit to liking Rukia for fear that he would mean more than he said without knowing it.

"I didn't know you two were friends." Not that that was a big surprise. How was Ichigo, a total outsider, supposed to know that Kira and Hisagi, along with Renji and Hinamori, had bonded since their academy days? That they had grown together, and become like a family to each other, albeit one that had been torn apart by their splitting divisions?

Kira nodded, a small smile slipping over his features, not that Ichigo could see it. "He, Abarai-san, Hinamori-chan, and I; we all became close during an incident back in our academy days." That was also the first time he'd seen Ichimaru.

Ichigo wasn't sure who this Hinamori girl was, but Kira spoke her name with as much fondness as the rest. "Sounds nice," he offered, not sure what else to say.

"Un," Kira agreed, his smile fading. This time, Ichigo didn't need to see him to know he was upset. "But we've all grown apart. That's why I was wondering... Hisagi-san and I don't see each other much anymore."

Ichigo noticed the more Kira talked of Hisagi, the more informally he addressed the man. "Why not?" the orange-haired taichou wondered. "Too busy?"

"Ah, you know, we're very busy and everything." He turned to glance over his shoulder and offer the taichou a small smile, though it seemed sad to Ichigo.

"It doesn't seem like you had a problem keeping in touch with Renji," Ichigo told him, keeping that one eye fixed on him. Kira was silent at this and Ichigo frowned. He wasn't sure if it was his new role as a leader, or if the blonde just looked that damn sad, but something made him reach an arm over the bed and tousle the shinigami's hair. "Renji's right, you know, you should really change your hairstyle."

This time, a small flush came over Kira's cheeks as he studied the floor in between his legs. "But Ichimaru-taichou-"

"Kira," Ichigo said, frowning deeper, "Ichimaru's gone. He betrayed Soul Society and left with Aizen and Tousen." He wasn't sure why the blonde couldn't grasp this information, but it seemed very hard for him to process. He supposed, though, that someone like Ichimaru could do this to a person. He doubted the silver-haired ex-taichou even felt bad for it.

Kira gritted his teeth in determination. Not in front of anyone would he break down. Not his new taichou, Amagai, not this new taichou, Ichigo, not his friends, Renji and Hinamori, and certainly not his ex, Shuuhei. There had only been one person that would comfort Kira when he felt weak; only one man that would assure him he brought no shame to the Gotei 13, or himself, by crying every now and then. Ichimaru, though, as Ichigo had said, was no longer there.

Ichigo wasn't sure what was taking Renji so long (had he decided to wash the dishes, too? Not likely...), but he was grateful that the two of them were alone. He swung himself up into a sitting position and tugged Kira up onto the bed next to him with minimal resistance.

Ichigo's touch was nothing like Ichimaru's-- it wasn't understanding, it wasn't comforting, and it didn't ask for more. The only thing Kira felt when Ichigo hesitantly locked his arms around him, really not sure if it was the appropriate move or not, was security. Was this how everyone else who had been saved by Ichigo felt? Safe?

He had never once felt safe with Ichimaru. He knew when he went to his former taichou with troubles, that Ichimaru would hear him out, assure him that everything would be alright, then lead him to bed. Kira hadn't had a problem with it; Ichimaru gave him everything he wanted and he was fine with giving his body in return. Ichigo, though, was only there for support, not a deeper comfort that would draw Kira in too much. It was too awkward to be sensual and too genuine to be deceptive. Kira wasn't sure why, but he almost enjoyed Ichigo's embrace more than he had Ichimaru's.

He also wasn't sure why, but he really hoped that Renji stayed gone for the rest of the night.

And I have a feeling Ichigo and Kira will be sharing that bed tonight XD. I'm not necessarily a fan of this pairing, but... also not necessarily against it. To be honest, I'd never really thought of it, even if I've read a couple oneshots with them. Apparently...onions are a dangerous thing to talk about o.o.