(I)
They jumped down and slowly headed towards the gates of the village.
"Ah," exhaled Genma, "I'm exhausted."
"M-hm," Kakashi hummed briefly. He was dying to get home and crawl into the hot bath. His muscles ached in silent plea to finally relax.
Genma stopped, squinted at Kakashi and stared. Kakashi squinted back at Genma, lazily wondering what was going on in that head of his. He couldn't understand how the man's brain worked. He trusted Genma as his fellow shinobi. Still, most of the time there was the sly glint in his eyes that bothered him.
Just for a change, there was no slyness in Genma's gaze this time. He was obviously tired.
"Well, good work, Kakashi." Genma waved his goodbye, but paused to say last polite phrase he felt he needed to fill in before parting. He searched through his blurred mind and found nothing appropriate there, save the infamous dark rumor. Therefore, his mouth opened on its own accord and gave out a joke. "Don't overdo your plaything tonight; I want to observe how he won't be able to keep his lovely voice low in the morning when he gets to check your report!"
There was a long pause.
"I don't quite get what you want to achieve by saying this to me," Kakashi drawled at last.
Genma already realized he said something unnecessary. It was his long tongue that did it! Embarrassed, he grinned, scratched his head awkwardly, and finally explained, to avoid the misunderstanding.
"Well, we don't talk about it, but we all know that you hold your favorite chuunin on a tight leash. Take good care of him, Kakashi. If not for you, there would be plenty of candidates to snatch him away, yours truly including."
With that, Genma exhaled a deep demonstrative sigh of regret, winked at the stunned Kakashi and walked away. Kakashi stared at his back for a while, then blinked and turned in direction of his home.
Somehow, he felt praised. He didn't understand why though. Therefore, the information had to be at least analyzed. And he began to torture his tired brains while slowly jogging along the street.
First things first, Kakashi already had a very good idea who exactly 'favorite chuunin' could be. Because, in their village, there was only one chuunin, who dared to overuse his 'lovely voice' while talking to jounins.
The one who was also responsible for taking in the missions' reports, that is.
The man was extremely popular, Kakashi knew it well, too. However, what did it have to do with him?
And then, there was a leash?
Kakashi shuddered, when he realized he was already staying in front of his door for a while. It felt as if he was in a daze. He opened the door into his apartment and slowly closed it behind his back.
Now it was clear to him – the information he received from tired Genma had to be thoroughly investigated!
(II)
The infamous 'favorite chuunin' could be found at his desk in the mission room six times a week without fail. Now, Kakashi knew his schedule by heart. He also knew, that after the end of his shift in the mission room the man either stood longer, enlivening his overtime by indulging in shouting at guiltless jounins, or he went straight home and took his pleasure in writing plans of rationalization of the paperwork, mercilessly using the ink.
He rarely went out, although he had a lot of friends and acquaintances who openly adored him. He did his morning exercises every day. He spent very long time in the shower. He liked his breakfast warm, never a sandwich. No one saw him with his hair down on the street. He was extremely nice to everyone who behaved according to his preferences. He obviously had no lover.
Moreover, in his apartment there was no leash.
Kakashi, on the other hand, had one. He even had eight – one for each of his dogs.
However, he had no clue how it could pass together, so he continued to watch.
Then there happened one little accident.
Kakashi was staying in line in the mission room to pass his mission report, when the very young shinobi came to the desk of the chuunin in question. The chuunin raised his eyes at him and smiled encouragingly. The young shinobi blushed. He blushed deeper when he got his scroll and even deeper when he went away from the chuunin's desk. And he continued to stay near the entrance blushing and shyly staring at the chuunin.
Kakashi frowned.
All of a sudden, Ebisu, who sat at the desk next to the chuunin's, stood up and walked to the door. Kakashi lazily followed him with his one visible eye. And he noticed him secretly putting a small piece of paper in the young shinobi's pocket.
As soon as Ebisu disappeared in the doorframe, Kakashi left the line, came to the oblivious young shinobi, accurately took the paper out of his pocket and hid it in his own pocket. Young shinobi still noticed nothing, except for the chuunin, who currently smiled at yet another young shinobi.
Kakashi took a mental note to inform hokage about it later.
"Like what you see?" he wondered casually.
"Yes, Iruka-sama is a perfect man," the young shinobi murmured with hints of ecstatic devotion in his voice.
Kakashi hummed.
"That he is," he announced, distracting the young shinobi. "But he is definitely not for the like of you."
"Maybe for the like of you?" the young shinobi wondered sarcastically and finally turned his head to Kakashi. Their eyes met. The young shinobi paled, and then wisely disappeared in a mere second.
Kakashi smirked and pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket. He opened it and read the neat calligraphic writing:
'If I notice, or hear, that you dare as much as gaze at Umino Iruka again, be sure you won't live long. Humbly yours, Hatake K.'
Very slowly and accurately, Kakashi folded the paper and hid it in his pocket. Then, he turned around and went out to hunt that smartass Ebisu.
(III)
Ebisu was nonchalantly walking along the street, when Kakashi overtook him and stopped in front of him.
"Hello, Kakashi-kun," Ebisu waved his hand and intended to pass him by, but Kakashi caught his sleeve and tugged him to the side.
"Pray tell me, what does this mean," he said quietly and showed Ebisu the piece of paper with neat words of threat.
Ebisu first simply stared at the paper for a minute, then leaned closer, raised his black spectacles and squinted his eyes at it. And stared another minute. When Kakashi almost decided he's getting bored of it, Ebisu made a move. He quickly stretched his hand and tried to snatch the paper out of Kakashi's hand.
In vain.
"Ah, no, not so fast," Kakashi murmured in a kind voice, simultaneously catching and blocking the stretched hand behind Ebisu's back. "Now, please, talk."
Ebisu hung his head so that his spectacles fell in their usual place.
"I admit," he declared.
Kakashi waited for continuation, but the man didn't say any further word.
"I hoped for a whole story," Kakashi pointed, lightly squeezing the hand.
"Oh, the whole story!" Ebisu muttered, wincing under the pressure. "Fine, where should I start?"
"At the beginning," smirked Kakashi.
Ebisu clenched his teeth.
"Would you let go of my hand? That's rather uncomfortable."
Kakashi decided that it won't hurt, if he gets the story in return, and freed the man.
"Okay," Ebisu rubbed his wrist and began to tell, "I started to do it ten or twelve years ago."
Kakashi stared.
"How long, again?" he asked.
"Ten or twelve years ago, are you deaf?" wondered Ebisu. "Ten or twelve years ago, after I decided I was in love with the boy called Iruka."
"Wow!" exhaled Kakashi in a teasing awe.
"The heartless men like you, Kakashi-kun, won't understand the pure feelings of true love."
The stupid face of Ebisu, with the pretense of proudness written all over it, was slowly driving Kakashi mad.
"Of course they won't," Kakashi said calmly, although he already started to wish he could beat that spectacled mug.
"That's what I say. However, when I declared my love for the boy called Iruka, he had the nerve to reject me in a very rude manner. The silly one, he didn't recognize his own happiness!"
"Indeed, such a loss," commented Kakashi sarcastically.
"I know, right?" of course Ebisu took his sarcasm for sympathy. "The moment he rejected me, I decided I'll be seeking vengeance! If he won't be mine, he'll be alone. And I created this scheme of freighting off his potential lovers, all of them!"
"You say this goes on for ten or twelve years already?"
"Yes. Somewhere near that time."
Well, Kakashi knew Ebisu was a peculiar person. Nevertheless, he didn't expect him to be so stubborn about something for so long.
"What an impressive love devotion!"
"No, I don't think so," Ebisu shook his head. "My love for Iruka was over ten or eight years ago."
Kakashi frowned. Something was off here.
"Wait. You are not in love with him now, but you continue to torture the poor thing?"
"Well, yes. It won't be a real vengeance otherwise, no?"
That must sound logical. Not for Kakashi, though.
"You have the point. But don't you think you overdid it already?"
"No. It's my vengeance, Kakashi-kun. And the boy called Iruka deserves to be punished!"
"For ten or twelve years? 'The boy', my ass!" Kakashi muttered. He raised his head and looked Ebisu in his spectacled eyes. "Yes, I get what you mean. But it's unfair towards me, don't you think?"
"Why?" the spectacled guy wondered, completely oblivious.
"Because of your little notes," Kakashi explained patiently, "all our villagers are sure I have a very close relationship with your former crush. Moreover, everybody thinks I own him, literally."
Finally, a shade of realization appeared at the man's face.
"Oh? I didn't think about it from that point of view."
"You should think about it at least now," said Kakashi strictly. "And stop doing it, okay?"
Ebisu stared at Kakashi again, thinking, and after a while slowly nodded.
"Fine," he declared graciously. "You can have him already."
At first Kakashi decided that was a joke.
"Thank you very much," he said and even bowed politely in Ebisu's direction. "Aren't you a generous friend, doing so much for me?"
However, he should have known Ebisu better! The spectacled guy only nodded indulgently.
"Whatever makes you happy, Kakashi-kun! I'm through with it."
With these words, Ebisu turned around and left.
"Jerk," Kakashi muttered before taking a step in the opposite direction.