It was morning in Konoha. The sun had not yet dried all the dew off the grass, but most of the village's inhabitants were already up and about and had been so for an hour or so. Even though late night activity of various kinds was not unusual for shinobi, sleeping in was a rare luxury. And in the morning, like any other time of the day, the gates need to be guarded.

This particular day, however, the mere look of the two gate keepers would have been enough to make any outsider turn around and leave, fearing that if they entered the village, they might die of boredom.

Kotetsu was slumped over the desk, looking half dead with his eyes almost closed and head rested against his arms, while his partner sat, chin in hand, fingers tapping against the wooden surface.

"That's it!" Izumo suddenly exclaimed. "We can't go on like this, we have to do something."

"There's nothing we can do. We have to stay at this stupid gate…"

"We can practise our meddling skills."

"But there's nothing to meddle in!" Kotetsu whined.

"Will you stop being so negative!" Izumo punched him on the shoulder. "Everyone has some juicy secret. Now, come on, the next person to go through the gates will be our victim."

Kotetsu sighed and lifted his head from his arms.

"Fine."

They had not waited long when a man entered the gates, nodding curtly at them.

"Good morning boys."

"Good morning Ibiki-sama."

Izumo and Kotetsu silently watched the broad, coat-clad back disappearing among the houses.

"The next person, right?"

"Right."

At the same moment there was a great rumble and two green flashes shot past.

"Lee, if you beat me to the training grounds I'll d five hundred push-ups on one hand!"

"And if you beat me, Gai-sensei, I'll do a thousand!"

"I don't think I want to meddle in that," said Kotetsu as the maniac laughter died away in the distance.

"Argh! It's hopeless!" Izumo cried. "We're doomed to perish!"

"I'll get Mizu no Kuni's."

Kotetsu took the few steps over to the little cupboard in the corner of the both, retrieving an innocent-looking, sake-filled water bottle from it's cool depths. But as he turned back again, Izumo was gone.

In stead there stood a pretty girl, with long, brown hair falling into her big eyes. Except for some smoke covering the essential parts, she was naked.

Kotetsu gave a terrified shriek and dropped the bottle.

"Who are you?! What did you do to Izumo?!"

The girl blinked in surprise, then there was a soft 'poof' and she turned into Izumo.

"It is me, idiot."

"Man, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I just thought I'd try. It's a pretty useful-"

"Well, don't ever do it again!"

"Jeeze, I'm sorry." Izumo looked curiously at his friend. "You know, that's not supposed to be a scary jutsu."

"You look even worse as a chick," Kotetsu snapped, not quite meeting his eyes. "Anyone would get scared."

"Like you could do it better…" mumbled Izumo, sounding slightly hurt.

"Look at that," said Kotetsu in a voice that clearly suggested a change of subject.

He was pointing at a small group people walking towards the gates, with Naruto marching first, looking absolutely thunderous and Kakashi keeping an unusually respectful three steps behind his students.

"What's up, Kakashi-sensei?" Kotetsu asked as the Copy-nin passed them.

Glancing at Naruto, who kept walking determinately, Kakashi stopped at the booth. Sasuke and Sakura slowed their pace, shooting a furtive look at their teacher before following Naruto.

"Your students don't seem too happy with you," Izumo said, deciding to leave Kotetsu and the Sexy no Jutsu in favour of this new, interesting subject.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Some things happened this morning and now Naruto hates me."

"What things?"

"Well, hm, how do I put this …" Kakashi hesitated for a while before settling on "Naruto walked in on me and Iruka having sex."

Izumo raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, yes. I can see how that must have traumatised him."

"Yeah, imagine seeing your teachers doing it…"

"…old Jigoro and Miyamoto…"

"… on the desk in the poison classroom…"

"Ew, stop it, you're giving me images! Hey, Kakashi-san, wait!"

Kakashi stopped, already halfway through the gates.

"We can help you," offered Kotetsu.

"I think not."

"But we know a few good tricks."

"Knowing your previous record I'd say your 'tricks' are probably the one thing that can make this worse."

"Hey, that's not fair!" called Izumo, but Kakashi had already gone. "Damn! Why does he always have to win?"

"Well, at least we've got something to meddle in now."

"Yeah, we do. And we'll show him."