Disclaimer: I don't own The OC or any of its characters, etc.
Summary: Kirsten/Julie in The Game Plan. It started off as a missing scene and ended up being slightly AU. I wanted to see more of a reaction from Kirsten about Charlotte's deception and I've always wanted to see her struggle more with controlling her drinking problem than the show is giving us.
Inspired by and written for Sunny.
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
- The Pretenders
Crossroads
Kirsten was waiting for her when Julie arrived at the Yacht Club. She was on time, for once; but typically, Kirsten was early.
"Hello," Julie greeted her breezily.
"Oh, hey Julie! Glad you were free," Kirsten greeted her warmly.
"Oh, well I can't stay long. Did I tell you I'm moving? It's such a hassle but the new place is beautiful," Julie lied, keeping her voice light to hide her pretence.
Kirsten smiled slightly. She knew she was lying, she had seen her new house – and beautiful was no way to describe it.
"Well then, I'll get right to it," Kirsten said. "How would you like to go into business together?"
Julie was taken aback. "What?"
"Well, think about it: the magazine, the fundraiser. We make a good team," Kirsten said.
It was true. They worked well together, much to their own surprise.
"Kirsten, I don't need your charity," Julie scolded.
"Then why are you living in a trailer?" Kirsten asked gently. Julie looked surprised again. "I'm sorry, I followed you yesterday."
"Well then I certainly hope you're opening a detective agency," Julie said, dropping her head to cover her embarrassment.
"It's not charity. I'm going crazy doing nothing. I need this," Kirsten argued.
Julie paused for a moment. She could see that Kirsten was telling the truth – and she needed a job.
"Well, if you need it then I guess…" Julie said slowly.
They exchanged smiles, both pleased with the outcome. Who knew, maybe it could be fun.
"Just one thing – if we're going to be partners, I need to know what happened to Charlotte. She can't be with her dad, she hates her dad," Kirsten asked. She saw Julie squirm. "Oh God, she didn't relapse, did she?"
Julie winced, wondering how she could tell Kirsten the truth. She had tried for so long to keep it from her, but as she sat in front of her now, she realised she had no choice. Kirsten frowned curiously.
"No, she couldn't, because she's not an alcoholic," Julie said eventually.
Kirsten laughed nervously. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, Kirsten, I never wanted to tell you this," Julie sighed. "Charlotte went to rehab to find a rich, vulnerable woman that she could exploit. She's a con-artist, I'm so sorry."
"But the fundraiser?"
"A scam," Julie answered. "She was planning on taking that money with her but I stopped her at the last minute."
Kirsten looked at Julie in shock as the news sank in. "Oh my God. You were in on it?"
"Kirsten…" Julie started.
She sat, frozen for a moment, as Kirsten reached for her bag.
"Kirsten, let me explain," Julie begged, her heart sinking as she watched Kirsten walk away from her without looking back.
She reached for her purse, flinging some money on the table and rushing out the club. She saw Kirsten stood by her car, fumbling with her bag as she searched for her keys.
"Kirsten, I'm sorry," Julie apologised as soon as she reached her.
Kirsten didn't speak, simply glaring at Julie as she finally found her car keys. Her hands shook in anger. Julie put a soothing hand on her arm, worried for her friend, but Kirsten only shrugged her off.
"You lied to me," Kirsten snapped.
"I know," Julie admitted with a sigh. "I'm sorry. Charlotte offered me an easy way out of this mess and I…I was tempted. I'm living in a trailer, for God's sake."
Kirsten scowled as she listened to Julie's excuses.
"I didn't go through with it. I stopped her. Doesn't that tell you something?" Julie asked, desperate for forgiveness.
"It only tells me that I can't trust you," Kirsten spat.
She pulled the door open and climbed into the car, ignoring Julie's pleas as she switched on the ignition and drove off. Her heart thumped in her chest and her breathing quickened as she was overcome with rage.
Everybody lied.
Sandy had lied about Rebecca; her father had lied about Renee; Seth had lied about Alex; Ryan had lied about Lindsey.
Everybody lied. And everybody was sorry.
Why should she believe them any more?
She drove blindly as the demons she had worked so hard at fighting came flooding back and the feelings she had suppressed since leaving rehab threatened to rise.
Charlotte had been the one true friend she had made in rehab. She had understood and sympathised; she had listened to her and encouraged her. Had it really all been a lie?
Kirsten replayed their conversations in her head – about their dominating fathers, about their identical fears and hopes for the future. Kirsten had trusted her with her deepest thoughts and feelings. Had it really all been a trap?
She thought about the house they had gone too after rehab and how Charlotte had persuaded her so easily not to go home to her boys. Kirsten kicked herself for being so gullible. She had stay away from her husband and her sons, putting more strain on their relationships, because Charlotte had convinced her that it was the right thing to do. She had tapped into Kirsten's worries about going home and taken advantage of it.
Had Kirsten Cohen become so weak that she couldn't see when she was being conned?
With one hand gripping the wheel, Kirsten reached for her cell phone and dialled. It went straight to voicemail.
"Charlotte, it's Kirsten. Julie told me about what you were doing here, with the fundraiser. I don't want to believe it. Please…" her voice became desperate, "…tell me it's not true."
She threw her phone onto the passenger seat. Even as she spoke, she knew deep down that Julie was speaking the truth. Her mind began to spin in confusion.
Dr Woodruff had taught her that one of the most important steps in her rehabilitation was to learn to trust people again. She had trusted Charlotte and she had been played. How could she learn to trust people when all they did was lie to her?
She had worked so hard since leaving rehab at getting her life back. She had given up work, the one thing that had always defined her, after finally accepting that she wasn't destined to follow in her father's footsteps. She had started to rebuild her relationships with Sandy, Seth and Ryan – she was there when they left for work and school in the mornings, and she was there when they got home. She had even learned to cook!
But still, it wasn't enough. Something was missing. Maybe she wasn't meant to be a real estate mogul, and maybe she wasn't supposed to be a desperate housewife. But what was she supposed to be?
She had thought that going into business with Julie would give her some purpose, but Julie had disappointed her before they had even begun. She was just another person who had lied to her.
Her head started to ache as her thoughts started to muddle. She wanted to push them out, to forget for a while. There had only ever been one thing that had done that.
Bringing her attention back to the roads, she made her way to the edge of town. She pulled up in front of a small bar where nobody would know who she was – and more importantly, nobody would know that she shouldn't be drinking.
She entered the bar, conscious of the stares that followed her. She didn't fit in here, she knew that. She wasn't sure she fitted in anywhere.
She sat down at the bar.
"Vodka," she ordered when the bartender approached her.
"Ice?"
Kirsten nodded. She watched him, her eyes following his every move: the way he cradled the glass in his hand as he filled it with ice; the way he caressed the neck of the bottle as he poured the crystal clear liquid.
He put the glass in front of her and Kirsten stared at it for a moment. She could smell the stench of alcohol from where she sat. She didn't need to drink it to remember how it tasted or how it made her feel. She closed her eyes, imagining the cold glass pressed against her lips and the burning sensation of the vodka as it ran down her throat. She imagined the numbing feeling that would spread through her body and the way her mind would just stop.
That was all she wanted. She just wanted it to stop.
She reached for the glass, swirling the vodka over the rocks of ice and lifting it slowly to her mouth. She pushed out all thoughts of her family as the glass hit her lips. She tipped the glass and the cold liquid entered her mouth. The initial taste almost made her gag. It had been a long time since she had experienced the flavour and she wasn't used to it any more. She took another sip, letting the vodka linger in her mouth, before swallowing. She felt the familiar feeling of relief sweep over her and closed her eyes, savouring it.
Suddenly, she felt the glass being snatched from her hand.
"What are you doing?"
Kirsten opened her eyes and looked up at her company. "What are you doing here?"
"I followed you," Julie said, sitting down next to her. "You're not the only one who can play detective, you know."
Kirsten felt Julie's eyes watching her and she dropped her head.
"What are you doing?" Julie repeated.
"Go away, Julie," Kirsten sighed.
"You're pissed at me, I get that," Julie conceded. "But is it worth this? Is Charlotte worth this?"
Julie gestured to the vodka as she spoke. When Kirsten didn't respond, she persevered.
"Are you really going to let some conniving bitch ruin everything you worked for this summer?"
Kirsten heard her words and knew she was right; but in her mind, it wasn't that easy.
"I can't keep doing this," Kirsten said quietly.
"Doing what?" Julie asked.
"Trusting people and being let down all the time…getting hurt," Kirsten answered.
Julie put a comforting hand on Kirsten's arm and this time, Kirsten didn't pull away.
"You have to," Julie said softly. "You have to keep trying. Do you really want to go back to the way it was?"
"It's too hard."
"Of course it is. Life's a bitch," Julie said plainly. "If I'd given up every time something in my life went wrong, I'd have been living in a trailer years ago. But I didn't and neither should you."
Kirsten looked up at Julie, wondering why she was here. They were opposites, they wanted different things. They'd had so many disagreements that Kirsten had lost count, yet Julie was the only one still there. The Newpsies had kept themselves distant since she had left rehab; all except Julie. Kirsten didn't really understand it but it worked. Julie had proved herself to be a true friend.
Kirsten found herself admiring Julie. She was right – after everything Julie had been through, especially recently when Jimmy had walked out on her again, she still hadn't given up. She was still fighting to get her life back on track – for herself and for her daughters. She thought about her own family now, looking around the bar at the lone figures that sat around at the tables. There was a reason she didn't belong here.
She looked back at Julie, who was waiting patiently. "I want to go home," Kirsten announced.
Julie nodded. They climbed off their stools and Kirsten dropped some dollar bills on the bar. Kirsten paused when they reached her car and she turned to face Julie.
"Thank you," Kirsten said. She reached out impulsively and embraced Julie in a hug.
Julie was surprised, but she wrapped her arms around her.
"It's going to be ok," Julie soothed.
They pulled apart and smiled at each other.
"And we have our new business venture to concentrate on," Kirsten said, mustering up some enthusiasm.
"Really? You still want to do that?" Julie asked, surprised.
Kirsten smiled. "Of course. I meant it – we make a good team."
Julie looked bashful. "Well, I should head back to my new chateau – it needs some sprucing," she mocked.
"Or you could come back to mine for coffee?" Kirsten offered.
Julie smiled. "I'd like that."
Kirsten nodded. "Me too."
And she meant it.