Dear Snow A/N: Dear snow by Arashi is one of my favorite songs of all time. I just love the song..everything about it so please try to listen to it while reading this! anyway this is for my readers of A Week of Love! Thank you for sticking with me, and I promise to finish it before school starts and before I forget it again . I'm so irresponsible, I know . Enjoy
Disclaimer: I own nothing! (though I wish Naru and Arashi's mine -_- XD.
That vivid beloved shadow
When I met you, I realized how weak I was
I couldn't push away the pain
I couldn't hold the thoughts that can't reach you from growing.
It's a wonder why Mai would go out in the middle of the night looking so lifeless and not to mention, in thin clothing while it's snowing hard. A spare key on one hand, she walked faster avoiding as much people as possible to prevent them from seeing her overly determined expression and the pain hidden behind it. Mai needed to go to that place or she'll break down. She needed something to hold on-a proof that it's not just a dream. A bittersweet dream. She ascended the stairs and reached a door and inserted the key on her hand. She reluctantly opened the door and entered inside as soon as possible, maybe for the fact that it is freezing cold outside or maybe she's partly ashamed that she could not move on after so many years have passed. She's somewhat thankful, partly resentful that the office remains unused until now, and that she still have the spare key with her. The room looked the same. The sofas are left just the way they were before, the kitchen was spotless clean, Naru and Lin's rooms are closed. It looked normal and she imagined a few soft typing sounds and a few occassional rustle of papers and pretended that everything is still the same. It was a short moment of bliss until her eyes landed on her table. The once so lively corner of the room felt naked. The table is empty, there are no papers or files to sort, no picture frames, no..nothing and maybe if she entered the other rooms or opened the cupboards, she would find them empty and lonely as well.
The snow, just as quietly as if it were you
Floats down my shoulder, smiling gently
If I were to touch it with my hand, it'll simply disappear
Alone, I close my eyes and try to feel you.
Mai preffered to face her fears and insecurities only if it will help her overcome it immediately and make her realize that some things just don't happen the way we thought it would be. She opened the door to Naru's room almost wanting to turn back time back to the moment she first entered the room with a cup of steaming tea on her hand facing a grumpy but very handsome Naru who is busy reading a book on his large oak table. Mai moved forward her fingertips touching the corners of the smooth, dusty wooden table. She reached for the window and opened it wishing for the sting of the cold wind to be harsher than the sting on her heart so that she could forget it momentarily. The wind blew harshly hitting her whole body and it almost felt good. The stinging sensation were distributed on her whole body if not for the fact that her eyes are more than hurt that the others because of the tears threatening to fall. Snowflakes are all around her. She extended her hands palm open and saw the snowflakes land on it only for a moment only for it to melt. She smiled bitterly, it's like Naru those last days. She felt extremely closer to her boss. She felt like she could almost hold him, so the thought of confessing entered her mind. If Naru didn't feel the same way then maybe they could just return to being friends. But the moment those words came out of her mouth he immediately slipped away. He took a step back, closed himself to her and utter a petty excuse just to leave her broken and helpless.
I kissed your sleeping profile
i can't honetly tell you, so I'll hide my trembling heart
I'll hold that smiling face of yours that I believed in close
The sound of miracles will echo.
Mai almost smiled as a memory came back. She sighed and went down to sit on the leather reclining chair her boss usually sat at. She closed her eyes as she recalled the memory.
Mai wanted to go home early to study for her finals and planned to ask Naru for permission the next time he calls for tea but an hour has passed and it's already 6 in the evening, still Naru haven't called her yet so she tiptoed carefully and opened the door to peak. She saw his chair facing the huge window and she can hear nothing except for rhythmical breathing. She entered and walked closer to her boss and saw him sleeping! She almost wanted to faint there and then. She'd seen Naru fall asleep many times on cses but not like this. He looks so peaceful, so comfortable with a small natural smile gracing his face. Mai was beyond extasy seeing her crush wearing the expression that she wished for him to have. She tiptoed closer stopping for a moment to check if the man's really sleeping and leaned in to brush their lips together in a small chaste kiss. When she realized what she's doing, she immidiately yelped and ran outside. She sat on her chair panting, waiting for the blush to go away. She didn't realize that she paced out until she heard footsteps approaching her. She looked up and saw Naru looking at her...curiously. "What are you doing here, Mai? Aren't you supposed to be home? It's time for your school's finals and you're here spacing out." If Naru could have a face of an angel, Mai doubted if he could ever have its mouth. "I'm not spacing out!I'm about to go home Narcissist Jerk!" Mai blushed as she stood up and gather her things. She wanted to smack herself for being to engrossed with what happened, now she didn't have enough time to review! When she was about to open the door she heard Naru calling. "Did you enter my room earlier?" He asked. "N-NO!" Mai immediately answered and turned around but not missing the unconscious travel of Naru's fingers to his lips. Mai ran outside with a blush that could rival the reddest tomato. She giggled lightly and promised herself that she would never let anyone know of that wondeful memory!
The burning white love will rise up in these lost winds
and will follow you to that far away place you've gone.
If you wished it, I would dedicate myself to you-leave all your sorrows to me
To welcome spring, let's embrrace it as if we're melting
I don't want anything else.
Snapping her eyes open she looked crazy for a moment, so lost between reality and dreams that she's laughing and crying at the same time.
"I-I want to see you so bad Naru." Mai cried hoping that she could be heard by the person she loves the most. She wanted to believe that everything is a lie. She wanted to wish that he's still there beside her. She fervently wished to be loved back-no, even if Naru loved someone else, that's fine. She just wanted to be by his side forever. She wanted Naru to share his sufferings and happiness with her even if he doesn't love her back, she's willing to give everything for him.
"Naru..."
She's been wishing for it for so long but nothing happens so she hought that maybe it was a punishment from above. She lost her parents, and now the man she fell in love with.
Why make her fall so deeply in love with him?
Why give her a glint of hope that one day Naru could return her feelings?
Why can't she forget him?
She sighed, pushing the negative thoughts on the deppest reccesses of her mind and stood up. No matter how painful it might get, she swore that she'll never fall in love with any one again. It would be Naru until the day she die. It will be Naru's name that she'll be whispering until her last breath, hoping to have a smile on her face by that time.
But now she needs to heal and keep their memories locked in her heart...
Even if it never comes true
I will only love you.
"I love you Naru."
..forever.