The first time Thor kissed Loki he had been a child, he had promised that they would stay together always, and be just like mom and dad. Loki would be the bride. Loki had giggled and grabbed Thor's hand in his and they ran back to the palace to tell Frigga the news.
The first time Loki kissed Thor he had been old enough to father children. They had been swimming out in the large lake near the palace in the woods just beside the gates. Thor had been cutting though the water much as he did the air, bluntly. Like a hammer. Loki's eyes traced his body with a greedy lust. The moment Thor stepped out of the water, droplets sliding down his bronzed body and onto the soft, green grass, Loki stood. He, at the time, did not know what he fully intended. Maybe he wanted to grab at Thor before he was totally forgotten, maybe he wanted to become one with Thor before he was erased. Loki had grabbed the back of Thor's neck, hair and all, and wrenched him forwards into a hard and sloppy kiss that lasted mere moments.
Thor's eyes were closed and his lips red where they had touched Loki's. Loki didn't dare to breathe, as if taking a breath would shatter the fragile scene. Loki had backed away and let go of the fine gold hair that made Thor's mane, Thor had looked up and sighed. The day moved on and neither of them asked what that meant, or why Loki had done it. Neither believed it was real.
The day of Thor's wedding was the night Loki broke.
"You can't mean to marry this woman! You have never met her, you don't love her! How could your father do that?" Sif paced though the hall like a panther stalking it's prey, as if she could pounce on the object of her fury and tear it to shreds. Volstagg had eaten his way though three courses of meat and bread before lunch that day. Fandral had said nothing, he furiously polished his sword in the corner of the chase by the window that let in the most light. Hogun said nothing, much like Loki, who sat in the far corner with a carefully blank face. Thor himself had flopped down on the main couch in the center of the room. He had said nothing since his entrance; his grand announcement of marriage. A marriage that would come into being within the week. The woman herself was a fine woman, the most beautiful woman, Freja was said to be the most lovely flower. Thor himself, had never met her before, no one had.
Once the news had broken Sif became steadily outraged on her friend's behalf, Fandral attempted to stress the point of Freja's beauty and how it couldn't be all that bad. He was quickly shut down with a combination of a look from Loki and a few choice words form Sif. Time passed in the same fashion they had quickly found themselves in. Thor had yet to speak again and Loki hadn't said anything at all.
"Maybe the Allfather wants to teach you a lesson? Maybe he does not really intend to go though with it?" Sif murmured as he moved to sit on the couch beside Fandral, all of her fight nearly blown out of her and replaced with confusion.
"I did it for Loki," Thor said finally, looking directly at his brother as he spoke. Loki gazed back with blank eyes, but the set of his lips gave him away. His surprise was clear to Thor, as was the confusion.
"Why?" Loki managed after a few tense seconds of watching Thor watch him, Loki felt nothing but shock and a dimmed nagging of confusion. Thor shook his head.
"I did it so you could be free a little longer. She was to be yours, you know. I told father that I would rather take your place in this matter." Loki's face closed in on itself.
"No," he said, his voice growing with rage as he went on, "no, you did not do this for me, brother. You wanted her, you wanted my place. You wanted the most beautiful being in all the realms for yourself!" Loki screamed the last bit as he became aware of his body now standing towering over his brother, he refused to let his shame show.
"Did you even ask me what I wanted? Did father even think to tell me before he told you?" he shook his head and smoothed his face. "No, this was not for me." and he left the room. Thor stared after him with a broken set of eyes, Sif cleared her throat and made to talk, Hogun lifted his hand so silence her before Thor could say something.
"He is right. It was not for him, not completely." Thor said after a long while spent in thought. He got up to leave not soon after, the warriors three and Sif long forgotten in their own thoughts. Thor made his way out to the lake, the one Loki had kissed him at. He hadn't been back there since, but he was almost sure Loki visited frequently. Thor had felt that if he were to return to this place without Loki, he would break the spell they placed on it all those years ago. One they had both run from.
For a time he merely walked along the edge but a faint sound came from behind him, from the road leading to the palace. Thor stopped and turned to it, Loki stood there, gazing down at the lake and refusing to look at him, Thor desperately wanted to go to him, but knew it would not be entirely welcome.
"I did it so that you would be free a bit longer, so you would not have be face something alone." Thor tried to say what he truly meant, but he was sure that it was not the way he intended by the look Loki sent his way before going back to his gazing at the clear and still water.
"Where will you go after you wed?" Loki asked, daring to let himself speak, although every word cut him deeper, he tried not to wince. Loki's voice was small.
Thor turned his back, it felt like a taint to talk of his marriage here, in this place.
"She will come here, I can not leave." was all that was said. Loki thought to himself that he would not have had to leave either, what "freedom" would he have had lost? Thor was lying. It came almost as a shock. Something Loki had never thought him capable of. Loki nodded his head and turned to leave, Thor didn't come after him as he made his way back to the palace. Things were noticeably more exciting there than when he had last left, more bustle and spring to the footsteps of everyone. Loki passed a humming servant girl and growled at her, making her shriek and drop her things. It didn't make him feel better.
The next few days passed much in the fashion of Loki not being found, his doors sealed tight and Thor spending as much time as he could on the training fields. Sif constantly told Thor that he should be able to find a way out of the marriage if he really wanted it, the Allfather would have let him. She was sure of it. Thor never spoke a word in defense of himself, or his choices. In fact, Thor spoke very little at all.
By the day of Freja's arrival came about, Loki could not be found, not in his rooms, nowhere Thor looked. Thor had been spending the better part of his morning looking for him and to no avail could Loki be found, Thor was near frustrated anger and a deep sadness that Loki did not want to be with him on this day. But the cause of the day might have been what sent him off in the first place. The thought hit Thor for the first time and caused him to stop in his tracks with the realization. His stupidity rang clearly.
As the day wore on, Loki was still missing, no one else had gone looking for him. Thor made his way back to his rooms where he planned on spending the rest of his day before everything changed. He opened his door he began to take off his cape and the armor to go with it, piece by piece, throwing them on the floor as he went further in.
"You did it for yourself. I see that now, I would have done the same, and you knew that," the voice nearly startled him to an undignified sound, Loki was sitting on his bed. He was still wearing his sleeping tunic and looked as if he had been there all morning. In fact, if Thor thought about it, he probably had been. Last night Thor had not gone to his bed but had drank himself to sleep with Volstagg at the feast. He had never come back to his bed he was too concerned that he would miss Loki.
Thor stood there and looked at his brother, his lovely brother. Laying on the silk sheets with his long black hair splayed all about him like deep dark waves of space embracing his face, his beautiful face. His eyes shone the deepest of green, like grass with the fresh morning dew as it clung to the blades.
"You're right. I did it for me," Thor said after some time, he continued to take off his outer shell. When every piece of his harsh armor and leather was discarded on the floor, did he come to sit next to Loki on the bed. Loki had not moved an inch in all this time, simply let his eyes follow his brother.
"I was looking for you," he said, moving even closer to Loki and laying down next to him on top of the sheets. Playing with his hair was a risk, but Thor failed to stop himself and reached over to pull a few strands on his fingers. Loki let him.
"I know." was all he said before closing his eyes. Thor closed his eyes as well and let himself wander, let himself think of far away places like a lake, or small children giggling over the idea of being like their parents.
Thor shifted over and Loki opened his eyes, reaching out he snatched Thor's arm, "don't go." Thor nodded and lay back down. Loki's hand was still on his arm, Thor moved to hold it with his other hand. They lazed there like that for some time. Hand in hand with their eyes closed.
Thor knew when Freja arrived, he could hear it in the increased bustle of the outer corridors, and how Loki began to tense up beside him, however he tried to hide it. He made to get up, this time Loki didn't stop him, but got up after him. Before Thor could get even one piece of his garb back on, Loki was on him. Grabbing his face and hair, pulling himself closer to Thor, kissing him with fervor. Thor started and grasped him back, clutching him as close as he could get their bodies, not a breath of air could be found between them.
"Don't go." Loki said again, Thor thought of pushing the need for him to leave, how he needed to go. But one look into Loki's pleading eyes, tears nearly slipping out of the corners stopped him before he even tried. Precious, conserved Loki. Pleading. He couldn't even dream of leaving then.
"I won't," Thor said and grabbed him close once again. Their kissing took them back to the bed where Loki's knees hit the edge and he fell back, tumbling onto the bed and making a splayed mess of his hair once more, Thor came down right after him. There, the two of them laying on the bed, they held each other and pretended nothing was wrong. That they weren't both hiding quiet tears in their hair. Thor buried his face in the crook of Loki's neck and placed open mouthed kisses along the smooth, pale column, Loki could feel the faint impressions of teeth and he shuddered at the touch and scratch of Thor's beard.
Loki reached up with both of his hands and slid them along Thor's back, bunching up his fine linen shirt and he moved to pull it off. Thor grunted and lifted off of Loki to pull it over his head, Loki felt his loss like a stab wound. He pulled Thor back with more strength than Thor had ever given him credit for and grunted at the impact, Loki didn't seem to notice.
Loki's shirt was next, they moved around in a tangled heap trying to peel it off without losing contact, once it was off Loki demanded that Thor pants be gone. Thor laughed and struggled as Loki let his hands roam over Thor's bare chest and back, finally resting tangled in his hair. Thor bent down to kiss Loki deeply as their bodies slid against one another with no barriers. Loki let out a small gasp as Thor reached down to his chest and let his hand contour the light muscles he found there, muscle he had not known Loki to have. Thor became determined to learn his brother, inside and out once more.
Loki rolled them over so that he found his seat on Thor's lower abdomen, where he could feel Thor's excitement rub up against his ass, he felt more confident and Loki smiled down at his brother. He bent down to kiss Thor once on the mouth and then make a trail of them down his chest and lower until he reached the source of Thor's pleasure, he blew air on it and moved back up to kiss him.
"You've never bed anyone before, have you brother?" Loki asked him as his fingers ghosted around a pink and puckered nipple, Thor shivered and shook his head, looking nowhere but into Loki's eyes.
"No, have you?" Thor felt he needed to know, and tightened his grip on Loki, wrapping a hand possessively around his hips. Loki shook his head and said, "I think I understand the mechanics of laying with another." Thor shrugged and pulled him in for another kiss. They would manage regardless, he was sure. Thor had never wanted anything more than he wanted his brother right then.
Loki took his time gliding his hands around Thor's body, starting from the top of Thor's nose and down the curve of the shoulder, he ended with Thor's feet, which he left a series of lingering kisses on the arch of each. Loki kissed his way back up Thor's body, stopping once and a while over a muscle he wanted to lavish more reverence upon. Thor was soon reduced to a breathless heap, his cock was sitting proudly erect with a bead of moisture glistening on the tip. Loki bent forwards to lap it away, closing his eyes with bliss at the taste of his brother. Thor moaned Loki's name and his hands balled up on either side of Loki in the lose furs and sheets.
"Lay back," Thor found the breath to say as he pushed Loki back onto the bed and lay atop him. He spent some time simply watching his brother, watching how the dim light beyond the room flickered over his pale skin like cream, how the fire of the braziers flickered and created shadows of the lines Loki was made of. They made him look older, more severe. Loki looked every inch a god, to Thor he would always.
"You know what you give me, brother?" Thor felt himself ask as he began to stroke up Loki's endless legs and begin to push them apart, Loki was seemingly pliant but he began to still and Thor bent lower to him. Loki felt exposed and nervous, for the first time around Thor, since the lake.
"Do you remember the lake? I tried to give you this then, we were not ready. I am ready now, are you?" Thor knew Loki talked when he was uncomfortable, he could fee the tenseness of Loki's legs under his hands, he also felt the burn of where his skin touched Loki, how it felt like a welcoming fire. Thor barely remembered to nod his head, he did indeed remember the lake, how he was so very overwhelmed. How he had longed to pull Loki back to him, how he was too late. It was the one thing he regretted to this day.
Thor bent down and kissed his way from the hollow of Loki's knee to the join of his pelvis and thigh, Loki's breaths were shallow and he was grasping at Thor's bicep in need.
"Thor, Thor I want you. Please," Thor was almost convinced that he whined, but nonetheless he complied and took Loki in hand, pumping a few times. Thor and Loki both had never touched another before, their father having stressed that they not pepper the realm with bastards, Thor had never been willing to touch another regardless. Loki had never felt a strong desire to touch another in the first place, only at the lake had he felt a need for contact with anyone, and he was sure it was only for Thor.
"If you take me, she can't have you. Not like I have, never like I have." Thor nodded his head yes, and began kissing his way up Loki's shaft, stopping at the tip to lick his way around and back down. When he was fully certain that he could, Thor took Loki in his mouth, Loki hissed and Thor pulled up.
"What it it?" Loki looked at him with a faint smirk, "No teeth," he simply said and tugged on Thor's arm once more, Thor bent down and resumed his work, this time he was careful to cover his teeth with his lips. Loki moaned and shuffled his legs about, coming to wrap them about Thor's head, firmly locking him in place. Thor hummed around Loki and he gasped out his brothers name as he came, shivering in his arms. Loki lay there panting as Thor climbed back up the bed to slide next to him.
"You still need to," he bit his lip and moved down to lay next to Thor's hips as they lay sideways and Loki was faced with Thor's bobbing erection, he stuck his tongue out to taste his brother, humming at the salt and bittersweet that rolled around in his mouth. Loki dove in with his jaws as far apart as he could make them, covering his teeth, as he came back up he pushed more pressure under Thor's head just so, his brother grunted and clutched at his hair. Thor came with a loud groan and he shivered violently, Loki held out the entire time, swallowing down Thor's seed.
As he came up next to Thor he licked his lips, red with excretion and still shining with come and his own saliva.
"You taste lovely, brother," Loki told him and he reached up to pull Thor's hair to one side, he began to comb though it. Thor had his eyes closed and hummed to himself an old lullaby Loki had loved as a child, he reached over to grasp at Loki's waist and pulled him flush to his side.
"You know, we can't do back. Not now. You union will be untruthful," Loki spoke to him in a soft voice, as if he was trying to hide himself from what they had done. Thor did not regret one bit of it, he could never regret Loki.
"I only want you, brother. There is nothing untruthful about us." he reached a hand over to pull at Loki's chin, forcing his brother to look him in the eyes, Loki looked both far away and very near cowering all at once, Thor hugged him closer, which consequently brought Loki nearly on top of him.
They both at some point had fallen into a light slumber, tangled in each others arms with small smiles on their faces. Thor knew not what time it was when he woke, but there was a new fire in the room and the shutters had long since been closed, he knew it to be late. He knew he had missed the feast in honor of Freja, the Allfather would be furious, but he could not find himself to feel guilty over what he and Loki had done, what they had created together had been pure.
Thor knew he had fallen back into sleep, when he woke once more to feel that Loki was gone and the bed still warm, he panicked a little inside, thinking that his brother felt regret and had left him and would not be found again. He raised himself off of the bed and searched for his shirt on the floor, Loki came back with a bowl in his hands along with a washing cloth not long after.
Loki had not pulled any of his clothing back on as he stood there in all his glory, looking at Thor. Thor dropped his shirt and moved to sit back down on the edge of the bed. Loki said noting and padded over to his side where he began to towel both of them down, stripping them both of the proof of their union. Loki knelt before him on one of the plush pelts that littered the floor, resting his head on Thor's thigh.
"You missed her welcome." Thor pulled his hands though Loki's hair and thought to himself about his lack of care, other than their fathers wrath, there was nothing to fear.
"I would have no one else, least of all someone whom I do not love. She will not have me, not in the way you have," Thor repeated Loki's words form earlier and pulled him back up and onto his lap.
"You have not even taken me," Loki reminded him and he settled on his brother and crawled his hands over the golden flesh, carving out patterns of Yggdrasil. Thor wished the lines stay permanent, to mark his flesh with Loki's hands.
"We have time," and they were kissing, this time it was slower, more measured and practiced to what the other wanted, what made the other groan with pleasure. Thor moved his hands to clasp at Loki's ass and Loki rolled his hips in pleasure as they found a pace the rock against one another, Loki said, "do it, take me." Thor knew it to be a command.
This time they lay back together with Thor hovering above Loki, his hands moved Loki's legs up and to the sides, parting him wide for Thor to feast on, Thor stilled a gasp. Loki was more than beautiful and everything Thor had ever wanted, from before he knew what he was wanting after. Thor moved down Loki's body, this time he did not stop to taste his brother and moved past to the twitching hole behind it. Thor licked at him and began to move against it, massaging it as it became more plaint. Loki moaned and pleaded for more as Thor began to plunge his tongue in and out of his brother. Mirroring the actions he wished his body to take soon after.
"Please, I want," Loki gasped out, "I need," this time he whined.
"More, Thor." he finally got out, and Thor chuckled to himself. He moved atop Loki once more and lifted his leg over his shoulder, looking down at his brother he saw reddened cheeks and parted lips, raw with the bites Loki had peppered them with. Thor leaned in for another kiss, ravishing his brothers delicious mouth.
"This will hurt," Thor warned him and Loki shook his head and simply said, "I want it to." Thor angled himself and plunged into Loki. It was deep and hot, the hottest thing Thor had ever felt in his lifetime, and tight. Loki was oh so very tight. Loki had screamed and was now grasping tightly at Thor's arms, there were deep crescents where his nails dug in, there would be blood soon. Thor stilled himself and waited for Loki to loosen his grip.
"It's so – so full. I feel whole, Thor. Whole." there were quiet tears steaming down Loki's face now, and Thor was sure they were not caused by pain. Thor knew what he had meant. Thor felt as if the other half of his body had found the missing part of it, a part he had nearly not known he was missing. A tear fell off of his face and onto Loki. There, on his brothers face, the tears mingled and became one before sliding off and onto the bedding.
"Move," he said, and Thor could do nothing but. He tried for a slow pace, but soon Loki was making new sounds, sounds of bliss, and Thor could hold himself back no more. Thor found himself pounding furiously into his brother and Loki was soon screaming out his name, telling him to move himself a certain way, Thor complied. Soon Thor knew he would finish, he bit his lip to stall it, reaching down in between them and took Loki in hand and began to stoke him off in time with his own thrusts. Loki cried out in ecstasy as he came in large spurts over his own chest, Thor soon found it on his own as well and he leaned down to take Loki's mouth as he came, calling Loki's name into his brothers mouth.
"I love you," Thor said, not fully aware that it had slipped out of him, as he pulled out of Loki he groaned at the contact on his over sensitive member.
Loki felt his brother leave him, felt his body become just his own again, he felt the loss of it. Loki had heard Thor, he smiled brightly at Thor and pulled him down to the bed next to him, relishing in the feeling of Thor's seed leaking slowly out of him as he moved to fully drape himself over Thor. Thor pulled his arm out form under Loki,only to rest it over his brothers back, tracing nonsensical lines over the perfectly unblemished canvas of it.
"She can never have you now. Not truly," Loki found himself saying once more, as if to prove it to himself as much as Thor. Loki's eyes were closed and he was slowly caressing Thor's bicep, Thor laughed then.
"She never would have had me, I've always been yours." Loki was sure Thor had vowed to always be his by the time his body betrayed him and fell into a peaceful rest. All thoughts of anything other than Thor and being whole were gone to the world.