Disclaimer: I do not own The Next Generation, except for a few episodes here and there. Neither, in fact, do I own these slang terms. The credit for those belongs to the boys from my church. Gentlemen, I salute you. It is from you that this piece of ridiculousness spawned. I hope somebody else gets as big of a kick out of it as I did.

"We are ready to tote out, sir."

Picard did a double-take at his ops officer. "Excuse me?"

Data turned to face him and spoke clearly. "We are ready to tote out in this mug, big son!"

Riker put a hand over his mouth and bit down on his fingers to stop himself from bursting out laughing. Picard, still completely flabbergasted, opened his mouth to speak, but Data cut him off.

"Captain big son, I apologize."

Deanna's shoulders shook with silent laughter. Picard walked over and placed a hand on Data's shoulder. He said slowly, "Mr. Data. What...?" His question trailed off; he had no idea what to make of this new turn of phrase.

Data looked up at his captain with a completely innocent and blank expression. "I have been experimenting with various old Earth slang terms, sir. I meant no disrespect."

Picard nodded carefully. "Alright, Mr. Data. But please, try to contain yourself..." Shaking his head in puzzled amusement, the captain resumed his seat.

"Permission to tote out, sir?"

Picard motioned toward the viewscreen helplessly. "By all means, Data. Tote out."

Data hailed Starbase 12 to apprise them of their departure. "Enterprise to Starbase 12. We are fixing to post up out of here, big sick."

The confused voice of controller came back over the comm. "Starbase 12, acknowledged. Um...post when ready."

"Enterprise out." Data closed the channel and said to Wesley, "Prepare to bust at half impulse, little mini."

Wesley choked on a laugh and looked at Riker for confirmation. The first officer was fighting guffaws of his own. He was unable to do much beyond nodding for Wesley to comply.

The Enterprise began to move away from the starbase and when they were a safe distance away, Picard gave the order to go to warp. As the great ship leaped to faster than light speed, Data observed solemnly, "We are now rolling like a papa up in here."

This proved to be too much for the bridge crew, who fell over themselves laughing. Data turned to look at his stricken crewmates. His face drew into concerned furrows. "Have you all fallen ill?"

Not one of the bridge crew could answer. Every single one of them were roaring and gasping with uncontrollable laughter and had temporarily lost the ability to speak or function at any level. Data regarded them with a look a singular bemusement and disdain. He had only one word for the situation.

"Ghatto!"