Gone Fishing

Summary: One year seems to go by so fast. Still, he died pretty fast, too. Either way, he's not really gone at all. He's just gone fishing. Leah/Seth/Harry.

She woke with a shiver. She wasn't cold, but the dream was chilling. She was bad at remembering dreams. But she knew she'd never forget this one. She wrapped her arms around herself, the only person she had received a hug from in months. She buried her face into her pillow and tried not to cry, but she knew it was pointless. He was gone.

"Leah, someday I'll be old and of no use to anyone, and I'll die and go to heaven and I'll be fishing 24/7, catching fish that are bigger than a whale." Harry smiled at his 5 year-old-daughter as she beamed up at him.

"Bigger than a whale? Wow!" He laughed and bounced her up and down on his knee as she cheered for him. He hugged her close.

"You think I can do it?" he asked into her hair. She nodded and looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Of course, daddy. If anyone can do it, it's you." He smiled and hugged her again, hoping that that big fish would wait a few more years. He had some better things here that needed taking care of.

Leah couldn't help smiling at the happy memory. He wasn't gone. He was just gone fishing.

She sat up and wiped her tears, sniffling silently. She looked over at the clock. 4:21. He'd be proud. She had never been much of an early riser. She swung her feet around and let them dangle above the ground for a moment before pressing them to the cool hardwood floor. It warmed quickly under her hot feet.

She reached for a sweater and pulled it over her head as she tiptoed down the hall. Reaching the end of the hallway, she nudged the door open and peered inside. Her brothers' soft snores filled the room. She smiled to herself and scurried inside, the darkness closing in behind her. She leapt onto the bed quietly and laid down next him, she shook him gently.

"Seth." She licked her lips, her throat raw and unused. She shook him again. "Seth."

He snorted and mumbled to himself, turning away from her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. She shook him violently. "Seth!" she hissed angrily.

"Huh?" he asked, dazed and still half asleep. He turned to look at her, then the clock. He groaned. "Leah, it's 4:30 in the morning. Go back to bed."

"Seth, I had a dream last night." She waited a moment, but as Seth's breathing started to fall into a rhythm of sleep, she shook him again. "It's important."

"Wha?" he craned his head to look over his shoulder at her in the moonlight that streamed through the open window.

"My dream. It's important."

He sighed heavily. "Okay. Tell me in the morning."

As he started to roll over, Leah lost her patience. "No, Seth, I need to tell you right now!"

Seth shushed her loudly. "Don't wake up mom."

Leah stayed silent a moment before continuing. "Seth, what is today?"

Seth clenched his eyes shut and yawned, evaluating the question. Finally, he answered. "Thursday?"

"Yes, but what's the date?" she asked quietly. He thought about it a moment before the pieces finally came together.

"Oh." He turned away from her again. She nodded and snuggled close to him, wrapping her arm across his stomach, the way they used to before it was considered weird and incestuous. "Is that what your dream was about?"

Leah nodded and rested her chin on his shoulder, speaking directly into his ear. "I dreamed that we were fishing with dad, just the three of us, but it wasn't from the past because we looked like we do now. And I remember that the water in the river was so clear. What was weird was that dad went to show us the ripples in the water, and when we leaned over to look, the water showed our reflections as wolves. When we all leaned back, he told us he was proud of us for what we were. For what we are."

She rested her head against the pillow and replayed it in her mind. It had been like she was in her own heaven. She had always assumed he'd be upset because it wasn't tradition that women were wolves. It was nice to know she had his blessing, even if it was only in her own head.

Finally Seth replied, "That sounds nice."

Leah rolled her eyes at his answer, or lack thereof. So simple. So Seth. "Yes, it was." She thought for a moment longer. "I was thinking we could spend the day fishing for daddy. It's not like we have school or anything, right?"

"Right." Seth considered it. "But what if Jake needs us?"

"Seth, I doubt there's going to be an alien invasion on the one day we take off. We're not even going to tell him. He'll figure it out. So do you want to?"

After a moment of thought, Seth agreed. "I'll just get dressed, and then I'll head out to the garage to get the stuff. You make the sandwiches. Commence Operation Don't Wake Mom."

"Of course." That had always been the goal when they were extremely young when they went fishing. If they didn't wake mom, the whole day would be a success, even if they didn't catch anything, because then she wouldn't be crabby when they got home from lack of sleep.

Leah went back to her own room and dressed quickly. She quietly entered the kitchen and grabbed the cooler that went unused by the counter. She loaded it with everything they'd need, including 4 sandwiches for each of them, leftover potato salad, a bag of chips, soda, water, and chocolate cake. Sure that they (maybe) had enough food for the next 8 hours, she picked it up gracefully and carried it out the door. Seth waited outside with the fishing rods and tackle box.

"We'll see if our wolfy senses can help us find some night crawlers on the way." Leah laughed and felt her heart rise. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually laughed without any sarcasm or grief. She could already tell this was going to be a good day.

The sun shined on the crystal clear blue water, reflecting like diamonds on the surface. Leah reeled her worm in and re-cast it. She and Seth had been at it for hours. They had caught a few, but released them all, deciding not to keep them, just to look.

They sat on the bank of the river and listened to the wind rustle through the cattails and the leaves of the Weeping Willow across the river.

"Remember when you used to love Pocahontas and dad would always call that old thing Grandmother Willow?" Seth grinned and breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and soaking up the sun. Leah smiled at the serenity of it all.

"Yea, how could I forget? It's still my favorite, you know. There's no past tense to 'love' when it comes to Pocahontas." They sat in silence for a moment. "I can't believe you remember that. You must've been only three years old when we started that."

"Of course I remember. Or maybe I just remember how annoyed mom would get when we'd mention it at home and not tell her what we were talking about. It was like code. An inside secret." Seth smirked at Leah again. She smiled and nodded.

"Yea. Those were the good days."

They both continued casting, not sure what to say next. Seth decided to be brave and break the silence.

"Those don't have to be the good days, you know. There are better ones to come."

Leah looked over at him. He seemed a little frightened to see how she'd react. She nodded slowly.

"I guess so. It's just hard to think that way; to get into that mindset after all that's happened. There will be better times. They just seem so far away yet."

Seth nodded in agreement. "Yea, I guess. It just amazes me how fast a whole year can go by."

He looked at his sister. She nodded at him. "Yes, it amazes me, too. It feels like the funeral was a week ago, you know?"

She bit her lip. "Can I admit something?"

"Anything."

She took a deep breath. "I haven't been to his grave since the day of the funeral." She faced back out at the river, watching it flow calmly. "Every day I'd wake up and say today would be the day, but I'd busy myself with patrol or inner complaining. So much that I'd decide I had to do it tomorrow. Messed up, isn't it? I find my self-proclaimed idiocy more important than going to visit my own father." She laughed humorously to herself.

"Not really. I mean, I go every Saturday and talk to him, but that's just because it's tradition. I tell him about my week and you and how things have been. I talk enough for you, me, and mom." Seth laughed dryly, too, and Leah felt bile rise in her throat. She swallowed it and threw another cast, ignoring the feeling that her negativity was rubbing off on her innocent little baby brother.

"I just woke up this morning from that dream, so happy, but then sad because I realized how disappointed he'd be in me for living this way. He'd want me to be happy. I just don't even know how to anymore. It's like rocket science for me. It's universes away."

"Lee, you'll get there eventually. I know you want to be, and you will be. You just need to find hobbies to keep you busy. You always work hard for what you want."

"That was before I started falling apart. I wouldn't have to work on it if fate would stop being such a bitch and just let me imprint already. I mean, I'm sorry that wanting to be happy is such a horrible crime. Not for anyone else, but for me. Only me. It's bad if I want to be happy. That's what it feels like."

Seth sighed, but nodded. She was right. "Yeah. You're the person that deserves to be happy, Leah. But you're not. So you have to find a way to be. I can help if you need me to."

Leah looked over at her younger brother. He looked back at her. She put her rod down and scooted over to him, pulling him into a hug. She ruffled his hair as she pulled away. He swatted at her hand playfully.

"I know I haven't said it in a long time…but I really love you Seth." She looked over at him. He looked back, a smile across his innocent face. "You're the one guy in my life that's stuck with me through thick and thin."

"I love you, too, Lee."

And that was all he needed to say. The silence didn't scream that she was alone for once. It whispered that she had someone there for her. She just needed to get closer to her roots to figure it out.