Skyfall

By: Shameless Self Inserter

Side note: I want to know if anyone wants a little smut to come from this. I posted this on my profile but for those who don't read it, now you know.

- SSI

Disclaimer: I don't own Sebastian Vael or anything that belong's to Bioware. If I did, you all know there would have been an actual romance scene.

She was on the outskirts of a small farming community at that moment. She decided earlier that day that she was going to leave the community to journey forth once more. It had more to do with the community's festival then it was her wanting to leave. They were going to use colored lyrium bomb's in the traditional light's display, marking the end of the festival.

The explosion's would only serve to remind her of the day that Kirkwall's Chantry was condemned. She set up camp on the outskirt's of town, far enough away from the blast's that she wouldn't be so unnerved. The area seemed to be a hunter's rest, the land was cleared of underbrush and set up with log's and rocks as so a fire could be started. She didn't want to make haste to leave because of two things.

The first was because she was waiting for a missive from her trusty dwarven friend. The other being she needed to get over her fears. She traveled with no companion's at this time in her life and for that if she were to fall in combat paralyzed in fear, there would be no one to save her. Plus, it would be nice to attend festival's again like she had in Lothering when she was a young lass.

But for now she was resigning herself to retreating to an acceptable distance and chanting the mantra that it wouldn't be akin to the sky falling. It was a ridiculous fear and she needed to get over it and get over herself. She thought as she laid in her bedroll, huddled under her fur's and linen blanket's. She rested her head on her arms as she looked up at the stars.

It was a fairly clear night, the perfect back drop for the lyrium bomb's that the village intended to use. She looked to the moon, which was an amazing shade of blue and it reminded her of the eye color of a man she once knew. She ended the thought before it began, knowing it was too painful to think about. That he was too painful to think about. It was too painful of a thought because she loved him.

Her heart was made for him but that fateful day, when Anders destroyed the Chantry. The sky fell, raining despair on her life. It wasn't like when she saved Isabela from the Arishok. Yeah, Isabela was selfish in her desire to live but the Arishok didn't need to take Isabela with him once she had come back. Book, Relic, or whatever it was, in hand. The Arishok chose to die when he made the decision to fight her.

Because if the Arishok had expected her to kneel and let him cleave her head from her shoulders, his mistake was a fatal one. Anders, though, Anders didn't ask to be killed... He asked for freedom, he asked for what all mages wanted. In their time in Kirkwall, her and his freedom would not be allowed. It was only because she helped the citizens of Kirkwall that she got a pass, why Anders and Merrill got a pass.

This took a toll on Anders and he was already half way there, half way over the edge, after he had taken Justice into his body. She had heard that the spirit had helped the Warden Commander, how he did everything in his power to make the world just. So when the spirit gave up the body he possessed and still spoke with Anders in the Fade...

Anders trusted the spirit because they had been friends and probably didn't want things to happen as they did. But they did end that way and maybe Anders assumed that Sebastian would have been in the Chantry too. Maybe he assumed that he would be at my side because I always had Sebastian at my side, regardless if it didn't fit the team dynamic. She thought, nibbling her lower lip, maybe Anders just wanted to die.

She held her breath, clamping her eyes shut to stop the tears from coming. Counting to ten, she took a breath but her eyes remained closed. Her brain didn't let her escape their images as they manifested clearly, even when she closed her eyes to escape the reminders. There were always reminders such as the moon over head but she was learning to live with that... Live with the dull ache of pain in her heart...

Calming herself, she decided she wasn't going to look at the moon any longer for that evening. Sitting up, she observed the hunter's rest around her. It seemed like the camp was used frequently enough. The dirt of the open ground didn't seem to be sprouting grass or any other plant life. There was also a hut that seemed fairly maintained, racks for fish and skinning hides.

Those were to her right, she was situated in the middle of the camp. She was laying next to the fire that she had started. The rocks that surrounded the fire were already there as well as the few stumps and logs that surrounded the ring of rocks. The foliage, plant life and trees were thick around the clearing, besides the small path that was created to get into the camp.

The camp was just off the main road going into the village so she assumed a lot of people used it. Maybe they even created things to better the area. She thought this as she stretched her arms over her head, suppressing a yawn as she did so. Her eyes wandered to the hut once more, it seemed like a shelter which everyone was privy to.

She was thinking about going to venture inside to see what lay in the hut when she heard a snap from the foliage on the far side of the camp. It did not take her more than a second to have her bow and an arrow in her hands. A bow that a certain blue eyed Choir-Boy may or may not have given her and may or may not have taught her to use.

The rustling of the brush and the snap of a branch was sudden but with its suddenness, came the quick silence that followed. She would have thought she were crazy if she didn't see a few leaves settle in the earth below it's bush.

"I'm not daft you twit, come out now before I blindly shoot arrow's into the brush until I hit you." She hissed, whether or not the hiss was from the annoyance at the sudden tension or the pain she felt at holding the bow drawn taut; she didn't know.

She seen the brush rustle again, "Come out, now!" She snapped, tempted to release the arrow she had at the ready. If she weren't so in tune with her primal magic's she wouldn't have felt the earth move. She wouldn't have felt the solid steps of the person entering the clearing. If she wasn't so in tune with those magic's she wouldn't believe her eyes. For the person to enter the clearing was none other then Sebastian Vael.

She felt her heart skip a beat but her body didn't move, it didn't release the arrow but it didn't relax either. She felt her heart speed up, jumping into her throat as he stepped closer into the clearing. His hands raised wearily in the air, not sure if she was going to release the arrow into him. She wasn't sure either. She wasn't going to chance him to take his own bow out.

She wasn't going to chance him trying to woo her with pretty words in his charming brogue. Why was he here? She thought, narrowing her eyes dangerously. She opened her mouth, about to question him on this but closed her mouth quickly after. She did not wish to hear him talk, lest she let him win her heart with the pretty word's she fears.

She loves him truly, this did not stop her not wanting him treading over the memories she values like they are meaningless. She knows that he didn't like Anders, it was proven when he gave her the ultimatum to kill said mage. Because Anders had killed Grand Cleric Elthina, the closest thing Sebastian had to family for the longest time. She steel's herself as she opens her mouth to speak, "What are you doing here?" She asked, her tone flat.

It was a trick that Varric taught her during their time together, the trick to keep her raging emotions out of her voice as she spoke. She was the Champion of Kirkwall, after all. You can't let people take advantage of you because they hear your emotions. She can hear Varric's baritone voice say, a hint of humor within it. Plus, your voice was one of your tell's when we play Diamondback.

She watched him, closely after she came out of her own musings. He hadn't moved from where he stood and his hands were still up. His facial expression's were not as hidden as hers, she knew him well enough to know that he was struggling with himself. He was probably insulted that she kept him in a surrendering stance. Angry at her because she thought him an enemy.

Angry at himself for whatever he thought he done to make her think him an enemy. Happy to see her, regardless of it all because if he found her he had to be looking for her. "Speak." She barked, not having the patience for him. Not having the patience for her heart as the organ seemed to want to burst out of her chest like it did every time she seen him.

He seemed to breathe in a large amount of air as if it was going to be his last breath. His eyes darted between her face to the bow in her taut arms. She was confused for a moment but with a sigh, she reluctantly lowered her bow. Her arms seemed to thank her for relenting for her muscles felt better as she relaxed them. He, in turn, lowered his hands but he remained in his position on the other side of camp.

She inwardly smirked at his weariness still. He knew the bow wasn't her forte and she could easily impale him with a spike of earth. When his facial features seemed to settle, so did his restless motions. He opted at that time to speak instead, "Hawke, this is not how I wished this to go." He seemed awkward like he didn't know what to say to her. Like he didn't expect this moment would have ever come.

In moment's before she knew he was there, she would have agreed with the thought. "And how did you wish it to go?" She spoke as she gestured to the foliage that he had emerged from, "Wait for me to sleep and then slit my throat?" She hissed, poison dripping from her words. He seemed horrified with her words like he couldn't imagine himself killing her.

She knew that he probably couldn't have imagined himself not even now that she had suggested it. She almost felt guilty, when his emotions played so vividly on his face.

Almost.

She couldn't make herself feel too badly when this same man made her kill Anders. "Why do you think I've come to kill you, Hawke?" He asked, anger and hurt clear to hear in his voice and see on his face. She furrowed her brow, feigning annoyance instead of showing her guilt because the stupid emotion decided to rear its ugly head after all, "Why else would you come!" She shouted back.

His hurt expression still lay on his face like her words were cutting him deep. She wondered how much her words were hurting him at that moment but her wondering's were cut short when he spoke, "Because I love you, Marian!" She was shocked that he actually spoke his feelings for her aloud. Shocked that he wasn't hiding behind his vows to the Chantry.

Shocked that he wasn't speaking of his unworthiness. She remembered him speak with Grand Cleric Elthina, she remembered how Elthina told him not to be blown about like a weathervane. She didn't need a flaky, finnicky man to dote on her one moment and run to the nearest Chantry in the next. She didn't stop to wonder how long he had been looking for her, however.

That was her mistake.

Another of her fatal mistakes seemed to be that she was only focused on her love's face. How easily he showed his expression's and not on his state of dress. He did not wear the armor that was commissioned for him when he went into the Chantry. He wore a different armor set but still noble and befitting a prince. She was not thinking over this, she was only thinking of his lovely face.

She was only thinking of his lovely voice, too. Wishing not for her heart to be broken because he was akin to a weathervane. "Put an end to that, Sebastian; for it can not be." She spoke slowly as if she were not sure of her own words, "I am a Mage, Sebastian. I can not take vows with you. Your... your Chantry will not accept me." He looked at her in confusion like what she was saying did not make sense to him.

Like he wasn't a Brother.

She didn't see this or if she did she confused it for something else as she spoke again. "For I am meant to serve man, not rule over it. Not have an opinion or not to be a human being. For I am a Mage." She spit the verse like acid, hoping to hurt him like the verse hurt her. For once, her mask was not to be. For she displayed her mixed emotions as plain as day.

She was exhausted and she just wanted him to leave. She wanted him to go away and let her be afraid of the pending explosion's. She wanted to remember the person who she killed without guilt for remembering him. "Now be gone." She said with anger in her voice, gesturing for him to leave. She dropped the bow and arrow from her hands completely.

She instead rubbed her face, willing the tears on the edges of her vision to go away. Her magic skirted the edges of her senses and before the noise registered in her ears she felt him move hesitantly closer. She glared up at him and he paused in his actions to get closer to her. He was a few steps closer to the camp fire, opposite to where she sat on the other side of it.

Oh, Maker... She inwardly cursed, he was as beautiful as he was when she left Kirkwall. His tanned skin, his blue eyes... angular nose... high cheekbones... strong jawline... full lips...

She narrowed her eyes, hoping her desire did not show on her face. "Why are you so resentful?" His voice was soft when he spoke and almost startled her.

Almost.

She narrowed her eyes further and she was sure that she was giving him a right nasty look. "What happened to you, Marian." His voice was soft still. His facial expression said that he had expected her to be the same after the year and a half she was gone. Like she would have stayed the same because he mentally willed her to be just the same as when she left.

In truth, she hadn't changed much but in saying this she knew it wouldn't get rid of him. So she opted to be cold instead, "I told you to leave, Sebastian." She hissed at him again, her hands gesturing for him to leave once more. His anger startled her this time visibly as he barked at her, "I. Won't!"

She was almost taken-a-back by the determination and fierceness she heard in his voice suddenly, "I won't leave your side until you tell me what has happened, why you have changed." For a moment, she thought she was going to laugh. Laugh at him. Laugh at his feelings. But she didn't, she merely looked at her hands, "My magic... My magic is what has happened to me, Sebastian."

And then her emotions did a 180 and she was almost sneering at him as she stood from her spot on the ground. "And I haven't changed, you haven't been able to see me for what I truly am!" She gestured to herself in a wide arc with her hands, "I am a Mage, volatile; half way mad, a monster in the making. I'm another Anders in the making. Hell, all Mages are." She spat, annoyance and loathing and venom mixing in a deadly combination.

"Now, go." Once again she gestured for him to leave. She gestured for this to be the end of this stupid conversation. She gestured for him to leave like she left in Kirkwall, without a word. She knew that was not his way though. She knew that before she said it. She knew Sebastian was not going to leave with the stance in which he stood in and the stubborn set to his jaw.

She knew with the mention to Anders he was definitely not going to stay his tongue and she could hear him speak before he did, "Marian, do not compare yourself to that Abomination!" She cringed at the word in which he insulted Anders but chose to not let it show how it effected her on her face.

"He and you may have both been Mage's but that is where the similarities end!" He shouted, his brogue getting thicker and harder to understand with his anger. She knew the anger was not directed at her but regardless, it still hurt her. He seemed to settle a bit when she did not speak, "You are the Champion of Kirkwall, also their Viscountess!" She slashed her hand out, signaling for him to stop before she spoke, "Be silent, Sebastian!"

Champion.

Viscountess.

How much blood was on her hands to obtain those titles?

How much more if she would go back to defend her honor and self because of them.

"I do not wish to here anymore of what you have to say!" She spat, the fire roaring a bit louder between the two. Her magic and anger caused the fire to do so. "If you wish to continue your ill talk of the dead, do it on your way out because I wish not to here it!" She said, her voice cracking as she tried to return it to the aloof state it was before.

It was difficult because the raging emotions she felt in that vary moment. She snapped her eyes closed and willed her magic's to calm.

The fire settled.

"You know what Anders did, Marian!" He shouted as he gestured with his hands in anger, "You know how many innocent people he killed!" She barked a bitter laugh and with the look on his face she knew he was unsettled by it. "What makes a person innocent, Sebastian?" She asked in a sickly sweet tone of voice, "Everyone has done something. We are all mortal and therefore we all sin! Regardless of who they are or are not."

He sputtered, anger and hurt blending together into a confused haze on his face. She knew she was striking a low blow. She knew that but she didn't care because she didn't have the patience too. For once, she just didn't care.

"Your defending what that-that!"

He had no words, he looked so confused and hurt and angry and just so plain stupid that she rose a hand to stop him from trying to find speech. "No, I am not." She was cold once again but she didn't care as she continued, "If I was defending him, he would be alive today." They were both silent for a moment. Sebastian seemed to be confused still but the anger seemed to have subsided.

Finally, for once she could be honest. Honest to herself, honest to the one person who needed to hear how she felt. "I wouldn't have murdered my own friend with a sodding knife to the back." She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, turning her face from him. The tears she fought back moment's ago seemed to overwhelm her.

This time she didn't fight them because she didn't care what he thought of them, "To the sodding back." She said bitterly as she bit her lip so not to cry out.

The startled yelp she produced from the bomb's from the festival going off seemed to have scared even Sebastian. She was unable to control herself as she sobbed. Her fear and already upset emotions undoing her, "Marian..." Sebastian mumbled, a look of helplessness on his face as he came around the fire.

His arms opened wide at his sides as if he were bringing them up to hug her. To comfort her as her sob's became more uncontrollable.

As the bomb's continued to go off.

"Just-just stop, Sebastian!" She gasped, backing away from him. He did as she commanded, treating her like a frightened doe. She pointed with a desperation she did not show to him before in her other attempts to make him leave. She pointed to the path that led out of the clearing to the main road.

"Go back to Kirkwall, Starkhaven, The Free Marches or wherever it is that you came from!" She sneered at him openly as his arms remained open to embrace her. His face was kind and understanding.

She hated him for it.

"Because I don't need your pity." But I need your love...

"I don't need your anecdotes." I don't need you to relate to me or my situation.

"I don't need your Maker." I just need you...

The gasping for breath, sobbing, anger and fear only worsened as she spoke. She looked up and batted her eyes, trying fruitlessly to clear her vision. She seen the glaringly bright blue moon and the shimmering colors of the lyrium bomb's. She felt her insides twist at the crimson that stained the midnight skies for a moment before the color faded away. The tears seemed never ending as they ran thickly down her face.

She seen flashes of the Chantry exploding in her mind's eye and her stomach jumped. She didn't vomit but she tasted the bile on the back of her tongue. When she returned her gaze on Sebastian he advanced on her once more. Spots danced in her vision and she was in no mood to fight his advance any longer.

"And I certainly don't need... I don't need..." But I do... I do... don't go... don't go.

She spoke with venom but it died on her tongue as she felt the world fade away. The last thing she could remember was her knee's giving out on her as she crumpled into Sebastian's waiting arms. She couldn't see him but he was shaking her nonetheless as he shouted, "Marian... Marian?!" And she was, for once in her year and a half away from Kirkwall, blissfully unaware as she faded into the black of unconsciousness.

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Read. Review. Vote. Show Lovin'.

Do Sebastian and Lady Hawke get some a M or a T?

You Decide.

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If you know who they are, vote!

Until next we meet,

SSI