Buy you a drink?
Summary: A three shot series of one shot drabbles of Miranda and Jack finally burying the hatchet...and other things.
A/N: I own nothing. Not even the computer I wrote this on which reminds me, I gotta return it before anyone notices.
A/N 2: I came up with this idea after reading another Jack/Miranda story titled "Princess". The common element in this series is someone is drunk. Miranda's drunk in the first chapter, Jack in the second and both of them will be drunk in the third. Miranda might seem OC in this chapter but I couldn't find any other way to write her actions in this chapter. This chapter was inspired by another Jack/Miranda story titled "Barren".
Set after Jack's and Miranda's loyalty missions.
Fuck, I need a drink! Jack thinks as she stalks her way into the elevator and jams her fist into the third floor button. It had been almost two hours since Jack, Shepard and Miranda saved Miranda's little sister. It seemed like a pointless activity in Jack's opinion. Granted she got to cut loose with her biotics but all in all, it seemed pointless to her. Saved the princess, Miranda's been converted to the cult of Shepard. Jack paused her train of thought. Wait. Miranda? I just call that Cerberus bitch by name? The fucks's wrong with me?! The elevator doors opened, interrupting any further thought about it. Jack made a beeline for Kasumi's quarters in hopes of getting a stiff drink. The door automatically parts open for her and she stops just inside the door. Miranda is sitting at the bar. Jack immediately noticed two empty bottles on the bar next to Miranda. Oh, this is priceless! Jack thought. Fucking cheerleader is wasted!
Jacket moved closer to the dark haired woman trying to silence her footsteps. Miranda was either too drunk or Jack was really quiet for a change to the point that she got within arm's length of Miranda. Jack could see Miranda's Carnifex sitting on the bar in front of her. Then she heard it: sniffling. Miranda scooped up her glass and downed it in one swig. Impressive. Jack thought. Miranda refills the glass and Jack can see her mascara running, tears pouring down her face. She watches as Miranda pounds back another drink, the sight almost makes Jack laugh.
Until Miranda sticks her Carnifex in her own mouth.
Always one to act before she thinks, Jack does so. "MIRANDA!" She slaps the gun out of her hand, the sudden action causing the gun to discharge into the ceiling. Miranda, surprised by the sudden action, fell off her stool. She looked up at Jack with tear stained eyes.
"Oh, you." She muttered venomously. "What do you want?" Her eyes searches the floor, more than likely looking for her gun.
"The fuck is wrong with you, bitch?"
"What do you care?"
Jack didn't have a snappy comeback for her. Miranda, giving up her search for her firearm, instead got off the floor and went around the bar and grabbed a random bottle off the shelf. She uncapped the bottle, not bothering with a glass, and started chugging straight from the bottle. Excess booze flows down her chin. Jack pries the bottle from Miranda's fingers. "I don't think so, bitch." She sets the bottle down. "Out with it."
Miranda glares at her. "What, you want to talk?" Miranda begins to giggle drunkenly, a sound that sounds slightly disturbing to Jack. Her giggles dissolve into sobs. "That's great. That's rich. The sociopath wants to talk!" Miranda buries her face in her hands. She sniffles before sobbing again. "The fucking freak wants to chat!"
Jack winced. Normally she would've taken offense about the freak remark but given Miranda's state, she let it slide. Instead she tries to put her tough attitude up front. "Well? You gonna tell me what's got your big tits in such a twist?"
Miranda calms down a little. "It's about Oriana."
"Your sister? What about her?"
"Why do you care?" Miranda repeats.
"Well, it's either me or I can find your gun and you can give it a blowjob. Which is it?"
"Nevermind. It's stupid."
"Just fucking tell me."
Miranda moved past Jack to sit on the couch, Jack noticing that Kasumi is nowhere to be found. Just as well. Last thing I need to see on the extranet is me braiding Miranda's hair. Jack paused. WHAT IS THE DEAL?!
"Oriana and I talked."
"And?"
"She's got a family."
Jack's voice softened. "And?"
"She's got a boyfriend. Things are serious between them."
"How serious?"
"She's pregnant."
"And that's why you..." Jack let it hang in the air.
"I'm happy for her. I am." Miranda put her head in her hands.
"You jealous?"
Miranda sighed. "Yes. I'm jealous I'll never have a normal life like her."
"Sure ya will." Jack didn't know where this was coming from but she found that she didn't want to stop.
"No, I won't." Miranda got up from the couch and walked to the window, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Jack shook her head. "What, you worried your brats won't be perfect little test tube babies like you?"
Jack looked at Miranda when she heard the older woman sobbing again. Shit. "What? I hit a nerve?"
"I can't." Miranda choked out.
"Can't what?"
Miranda spun on her heel, facing Jack with fire in her eyes. "I can't have children!" She yelled at Jack. She sniffled. "Does that make you happy, Jack?" She advanced towards a stunned Jack. "That I can't have children?! That I can never be a mother?!" She stopped in front of Jack. "I mean, that's what you want, right? To see me suffer?!" Miranda was getting hysterical again. "Everyone else will go back to their lives except for me! I'll be alone with no one to care for or care about me!" She sniffled. "But that'll just be another happy day for you, won't it?" Miranda buried her face in her hands and Jack could hear her crying again.
Before Jack knew what she was doing, she was off the couch and had her arms around Miranda. Miranda, surprisingly, didn't pull away from her. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Jack's shoulders and buried her face into the crook of Jack's shoulder. The two just stood there, hugging one another. Miranda stood stock still when she heard Jack's voice in her ear. "I'm sorry."
"Well, this is interesting." A voice from the door called out. Both women turned and saw Shepard standing there, arms crossed in front of her chest. "I think I might even take a photo." In truth, she already did.
Both women jumped apart from each other, both deeply embarrassed. "Is something wrong, Shepard?" Miranda asked, getting her voice back.
"Well, there was when EDI told me that there had been a report of a gunshot in the lounge. Who would've thought about what I just saw?" Shepard stated with a smirk.
"Will that be all, Commander?" Miranda ground out in her best authority voice.
"No. I want you two to kiss and make up." Shepard tried to be intimidating but the 'My Little Hanar is Magic' night shirt wasn't doing her any favors.
"Fuck off, girl scout." Jack spat out. Miranda and Jack pushed past Shepard who lingered for a few moments before heading back up to her cabin. Miranda and Jack stood in the mess hall, both not looking at each other. Jack rubbed her arm. "So..."
"So..." Miranda started. "Would you like to talk?"
Jack looked up. "Sure. Buy you a drink?"
"I was thinking we could talk in someplace more private?"
Jack blinked. "Where?"
Miranda grasped Jack's hand and led her to her office. Miranda shut and locked the door behind her. Jack didn't leave until the next morning. Nobody had the heart or the balls to tell Jack that her zipper was down.
End of chapter 1.
A/N: Well, this is first of three. I'm about halfway done with chapter 2 and chapter 3 is starting to take off. Hope you guys enjoyed this story and I promise more to come. There's also a How the Grinch stole Christmas quote in there. Give you two hints: Jack says it here and the Grinch said it when he started to "care".