A/N: Thank you for checking out my story! This is a sequel to two earlier ones – Like Magic and Do No Harm. If you haven't checked those out, please do and leave a review! This is the last prequel before Promises Made is put up. There may be other prequels that I may dabble in, but they will be after I have the main story up. Hopefully this will leave you eagerly wanting more and you'll check out Promises Made when it is up!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Darkest Powers Trilogy by Kelley Armstrong.
Abracadabra
Three months after the post cards arrived, his cell phone rang.
He answered his phone for all sorts of numbers these days. He answered calls that came from the other side of the country, other countries, and even other continents. Any possible way he could receive a useful tip of where Chloe was – he had to take it.
It was Canada, again.
"Hello?"
A pause. Steve looked at his phone to make sure that it hadn't disconnected. He repeated himself.
"It's Lauren, Steve."
Steve gripped the phone harder. He felt his palms starting to sweat.
"Are you there Steve?"
He sat down in the kitchen chair. He and Chloe never used the kitchen table at the same time. He used it even less than she did. He would make sure that changed. He would make sure that so many things would change.
"Yes, I am. I, I can't believe I'm talking to you. Wait, I should ask you something that only you would know."
An exasperated sigh sounded on the line. Steve could practically hear the eye roll.
"Chloe – she's alright? She's with you still?"
"She is."
"When are you coming home?"
"We're not."
Steve sat there for a moment, stunned.
"You're not."
"No."
Short, simple, direct, unhelpful – typical Lauren.
"Can I come to you? Is it safe? Chloe said she wasn't 'done' on the card she sent me. Is she talking about her treatment?"
A pause.
"Steve, this would be easier to explain in person. Before you can see her, I need to explain some things. Can you meet me in Toronto tomorrow?"
Steve eyed his watch for the fifth time in the past two minutes. Lauren was late – that was extremely atypical for her. Was there some sort of hold up with Chloe? Could it possibly be serious?
He saw Lauren enter the coffee shop and gave her a small wave. She returned it, although Steve noted that she was nervous. That was also atypical.
She grabbed her coffee and suggested that they walk in the park across the street. Steve agreed, trying to make things as agreeable as he could. He needed to make sure that Lauren knew that he was on Chloe's side. His lawyers had suggested that he could sue for kidnapping. But there was a problem, there wasn't any indication that it was Lauren who took her and not that someone had taken them both. It would merely be symbolic – a warning shot to Lauren saying that she needed to come back. It was a tempting option, but Steve knew Chloe would never forgive him if he did that. If she was safe and receiving the help she needed, ripping her away from that with court orders could possibly do irreversible damage to their already weakened relationship.
Lauren sipped her coffee, looking at him occasionally, mostly looking down at the path. It was early summer now.
"Chloe is doing well," Lauren opened. "She's finally getting the help that she needs."
"Has she told you what happened at the Lyle House? Why she ran away?"
Lauren nodded.
"She didn't feel safe there. It came highly recommended to me by everyone in the office. No one had any complaints. But – she said she didn't feel safe. So, she snuck out with a friend and came to me. She told me that and we looked into other places.
"She wanted to tell you she was leaving, she did. She was just so panicked by the house; she acted before thinking everything through."
"It had a basement, didn't it?"
Lauren quickly took a sip of coffee and nodded.
"She always hated basements," Steve said softly. "It didn't start that way, you know. She had her imaginary friends and they would meet her down there. But," he trailed off, "I guess she hit the stage where dark places were scary and she's been turned off of them ever since."
They came across a shaded bench and sat down.
"So are you two now in Toronto?"
"We're a bit further north, but this is the closest major city."
Steve was starting to become impatient. He wanted to yell at Lauren, to demand what she was thinking, being with Chloe all of these months and not so much as passing him any information other than those two postcards.
"How is she?"
"She's doing better," Lauren said. "She's made a lot of progress, but she has a lifetime of management ahead of her. Right now, she doesn't want to try the heavier medications. She's been on a light regimen, and it's combined with regular therapy, exercise, and mandated social activities. It's not perfect, she has some excellent days followed by some nasty ones," she sighed.
"But it is schizophrenia?"
Lauren nodded in agreement.
"Shouldn't that have come up as a possibility in the lab results?"
Lauren took in a deep breath. "Things have changed a lot since Chloe was born. We have so much more knowledge than we did even five years ago. When we were helping Jennifer … I don't know. We might have been able to find it. We might not have. We weren't looking for it. There wasn't any documented mental illnesses in our families, so we had no cause to think this would happen. Sometimes, things just happen," Lauren shrugged.
Steve looked at nothing in particular. His gut told him that this was his fault. He could blame the business, he could blame him not knowing how to raise a daughter, he could blame countless things, but the guilt ate at him. When Chloe had needed help, she went to Lauren, not him. She hadn't even called him.
"So when you called me and told me that she had run away, she hadn't made it to your condo?"
"That's right. I got a call from the house, saying that they couldn't find her. And, I panicked. I called you, and then right after, she showed up on my doorstep asking for help. She didn't want me to tell you – that is the reason I didn't tell you, Steve. She didn't want me too."
"Did Chloe send me anything? A note or something?"
"Well, I'll have to check. But, if she's having a good day, it's possible that you could see her, today. But there is something that you need to do for her. You need to take that reward off her head. She's safe and comfortable now. She doesn't need someone thinking about making a quick buck and undoing all of her progress."
Steve agreed.
"Did you have any questions?"
Steve had a million questions but it was as though his mind had been struck by lightning. There was everything and nothing.
"Oh, I probably caught you a bit off guard there, sorry," Lauren said, finishing off her coffee. "Let me go and make a quick phone call."
She stood and walked down the path. Steve wanted to follow her, to make sure that she was coming back, that it wasn't some sort of elaborate plot to remove him from their lives. A few minutes passed, he started bouncing his leg in anticipation. If this were business, stepping away to 'make a call' gave the client some time to squirm. Would the offer be accepted? Was it adequate or a slap in the face? Was it going to clear the final hurdle or would some error be found, something that would cause the entire process to start at the beginning?
"You want to see her? Good, if you have any questions, you can ask on the ride over."
Steve didn't want to think of what the cost of the treatment facility would be if they were travelling by helicopter there. He tried asked Lauren a few questions but the roar of the engine swallowed his words.
He suspected that Lauren wasn't too upset by it.
He looked around the living room. He was anxious, nervous, and excited. He would finally see Chloe after six months of wondering where she was.
He tapped his fingers on the side table.
Lauren had gone out to fetch Chloe, wherever she was. She mentioned that she might be in the middle of an activity and he may have to wait a while. She had repeated how important the structured activities were to Chloe's recovery. She practically glowed when describing Chloe's progress – she had stabilized, there hadn't been any recent 'episodes', and she was warming up rapidly to the staff. In her opinion, it was a sign of Chloe becoming comfortable with her new life – a life that would be slightly bumpier than she originally planned.
He looked at his watch. He had been waiting for forty-five minutes. She must have just started an activity. Part of him was irritated by the wait, the other not wanting it to end. Lauren insisted that Chloe was same girl that she was before. But how could she be, really? She might be the same person essentially, but she had to have changed. They both had changed. He had changed.
A glance at his watch now said it was nearing an hour. He stood up and walked around the room. There were a few pictures of Chloe and Lauren up on the walls. It appeared that they were hiking and camping, two activities Steve never would have pictured the two of them willingly partaking. But, in each of the pictures, they sported a wide grin.
He looked at other pictures, Chloe and other kids around her age. There were a fair amount of them – he counted fifteen in one camping picture. He inwardly winced, so many young kids, their lives derailed by something they had no control over. But, as with Chloe, they didn't seem to share that opinion in the picture. They were all gathered around the campfire, some had lifted their sticks with glowing marshmallows.
He noted that in the pictures, she was close to three of the kids in particular. There was a tall girl with short black hair, a guy with blond hair, and a massive guy with dark hair. Were these her friends? Did she have friends? Someone she could confide in that wasn't an adult? His eyes glanced to the next picture; Chloe was pictured next to another girl with long black hair. They were both grinning at the camera.
If she was happy here, he wouldn't make her leave. He wanted to snatch her up, take her back to Buffalo, and never let her out of his sight again. It was something that was irrational. He couldn't keep her under lock and key. He reasoned that it was from the panic of Lauren's phone call from six months ago, saying that she had run away. He reasoned it was from the police not finding any sort of leads, the tip line full of false hope. He caught his reflection in one of the picture frames. He had aged. He had crows' feet by his eyes, his blond hair had slight gray streaks. The sleepless nights, the tossing and turning with worry, the gut clenching that he experienced anytime he heard a story about a missing child. Before, he had looked slightly younger than his forty-four years. Now, he looked older, approaching fifty. He knew it, he knew the office knew it, but no one dared to say anything. Aging due to 'letting go' was one thing, aging because his only child was missing was another.
What would Chloe think when she saw him? Would she be happy to see him? Or was this just a visit to get him out of her hair? He dry swallowed. Nerves.
"Dad?"
He turned around.
It was Chloe, it was really her. She was merely feet away from him.
He walked quickly to her and swung her into a tight hug. He wasn't sure how long he held her, only that it wasn't enough. He wanted the time to go on indefinitely. His heart soared, his nerves relaxed, he could only think she was here with him. They were finally together.
Eventually he did let her go. He wiped at his face, only noticing then that he had been crying. She sat down on the sofa and he joined her. He wanted to ask her everything – what was she thinking, running off like that? Why Lauren and not him? How did she survive? Was she okay? Was she hurt? Did she like this place? How did she find out about it? How did Lauren track her down? So many questions swirled in his head.
"How are you doing kiddo?"
"I'm doing better," she nodded, "much better."
"Good, good."
Chloe looked down at her hands in her lap. "I'm so sorry Dad, I never meant for any of this to happen. Everything just spiraled and it was just so … it just kept going and I didn't want you to worry."
"We'll talk about that when you're ready to. I'd like to know about it, but," he paused, remembering how often he had role-played this scenario in his head, "the important thing is that you're safe. Do you feel safe?"
She nodded.
"Then that is all I need to know, for now."
They sat there in awkward silence for a minute or two.
"I was looking at the pictures on the wall. Are those other ... visitors?"
Chloe's face lit up. "Yes," she stood up and practically hopped over to one. Steve followed. She ran him through all of their names, he tried to keep up but after name seven, he knew that he was going to mix them up. He was great with names and faces, but they had to be in person. He wasn't sure why his brain worked the way it did, but that was the way it had always been.
He listened as she told him about that particular camping trip.
He looked at his cell phone. No bars. Lauren had warned him that it was possible that reception was spotty. Spotty was putting this situation extremely mildly. He had been walking outside, holding up his phone, for at least fifteen minutes. No bars in sight.
He sighed. He needed to touch base with the office. He had told him he would be going out of town to visit Chloe, but they still needed to be able to get into contact with him if there was an emergency.
He groaned and put his phone back into his pocket. He would have to go to town – wherever the nearest 'town' was. He popped his head back inside the house and told Lauren that he needed to find somewhere with cell reception.
She suggested that he use the house phone to call his voicemail or the office.
His visit was shorter than he would have liked. He had prepared for a month visit, but after one week of barely being able to get in touch with the office and Chloe being busy almost every waking moment, he was ready to go back to Buffalo. The inactivity and not knowing what was going on with the company was starting to drive him crazy.
Chloe had said her goodbyes after breakfast. Lauren had called into work to take the morning off to see him off on the helicopter.
He and Lauren waited in the office at the airfield.
"Do you know how long Chloe will need to stay here?"
Lauren shrugged. "It's up to Chloe, really. She's made progress, but I don't think she's at the point where she can return to Buffalo safely. The doctors say that she may be here for a while, a year or two even. They're still working on finding the right balance of everything for her. Once that is established, they have a baseline and they can start weaning her off some of the support. Even then, she's going to need support in Buffalo or wherever she goes after this."
"She said that the tutors are saying she'll still graduate on time? Everything will transfer back to her school?"
"It should. If not, she can simply take the placement exams. It'll be fine, Steve," she said, slightly annoyed.
"I didn't want to bring this up in front of Chloe, but this isn't just a one-time visit, correct? I can visit as much as I like?"
Lauren grimaced. Steve knew that she would do that.
"It depends on Chloe, again. You would need to call me to let me know at least a week in advance. I should have done it this time, but Chloe was so impatient to see you. If I had more time, I could have cleared her schedule and you two could have spent more time together."
Steve spotted the helicopter, a faint dot on the horizon.
"A bit hard to call into a place that doesn't have cell phone reception," he replied.
"Here," she handed him a scrap of paper. "That is my office number. If I'm not there, leave a message."
"You know, there are a lot of things you need to answer for," Steve said, his tone hardening. "There are a lot of things that I suspect are illegal or at least unethical. If you cut me out, you'll only have yourself to blame."
He stood up and walked over to the window. He looked over his shoulder at Lauren.
"What was it that you said so many years ago? Oh yes," he paused, "'And you can think now that Jennifer's gone, you can block me out but you can't. Chloe needs me, more than you could ever know. No nanny can replace me or what I know. I will have a close relationship with Chloe. If you try to stop that, you'll regret it.'"
Lauren held her gaze to him, hatred flaring up in her eyes.
"I have a remarkable memory, Lauren. Try not to forget that."
He walked out of the office and went into the helicopter. He didn't turn around, didn't look back. He knew Lauren would be standing there, her anger clouding her face. He would put up with her for Chloe's sake, but he did not have to be happy about it. Nor did he have to take her lying down. If Lauren wanted to present a clueless act, he needed her to know that while he would play nice in front of Chloe, he would not hold back when he was alone with her.
His visits were one week a month. He purchased a cell phone booster and on occasion, it worked enough to boost him up to a singular bar.
He was torn – he was thrilled that he and Chloe were finally having time together. He regretted his frequent business trips he had while she was growing up. They were a necessary evil. He had to keep the business going somehow.
He was less thrilled about dealing with Lauren. He and Lauren never had a 'good' relationship. Lauren tolerated him, at best, despite his early attempts to better it. After Jennifer passed, Steve could not get past Lauren's accusations, her lashing out at him. He tolerated her for Chloe's sake, but it certainly did not mean he liked it.
Each visit, Lauren would grow colder towards him. It was a feat that he didn't think was possible. He tried to reason with her. Chloe knew that they never had the best relationship but even she showed signs of being uncomfortable when the three of them were in a room together. She frequently found excuses to avoid it. He lost track of how many times she had to go out at night to observe the stars for class.
He wanted to maintain the visits. One week a month was not much in the long run. However, things at the company were picking up again. He needed to be there or at least be accessible.
Lauren had told him that the helicopter was the only way to another town and that he couldn't use it just to find somewhere with Wi-Fi.
He consulted with Chloe and changed his visiting time. He would now do two weeks every two months. It pained at him that it would be two months between seeing her. She was a teenager with her own life and friends; he didn't really get that much time with her when he was visiting. She would make a point to spend some time with him the first day or two, but by day four, she was off with her friends. It made sense and he was glad that she had friends but it didn't make it sting any less.
Soon, he had to change his visits again. Now it was one week every three months. The economy was seemingly on the verge of coming back from the recession. They needed him at the helm to guide the company through the turbulent times.
In Buffalo, he would often think about Chloe and the facility she was at. He found it odd that Lauren never introduced him to any of her instructors. He rationalized this as being a request of Chloe's. Perhaps she didn't want him to see that part of her life. He was surprised that he never met any of her friends. She had no problem with showing him pictures or telling stories of the activities they did at camp, but he never met them. He first thought it was because she was a teenager. Parents are more embarrassing than any other creature on the planet. There seemed to be more to it than that.
He shook it off. He remembered how mortifying it was when his dad tried to be 'cool' in front of his friends. Perhaps Chloe wasn't giving him that chance for both of their sakes.
His visits continued. He and Chloe seemed to be building a strong foundation for a relationship once she was done with her treatment. She had now been at the facility just over two and a half years. He had hoped that she would have been back in Buffalo with him by now. Lauren had mentioned that a year or two would be on the outskirts of how long Chloe needed to be here.
Every time he brought up the subject of her moving back with him, she changed the subject. Was she trying to say that she didn't want to return to her old life? Was she scared of being outside? Was she trying to say that she simply didn't want to go back with him?
When he brought up the college issue, she again changed the subject. She had always wanted to go to UCLA and pursue film studies. She had always wanted that, even as a little girl. She never went through the typical phases of wanting to be a nurse, a veterinarian, or some sort of teacher. She had always wanted to be involved in movies: producing, directing, writing, anywhere but the actual spotlight.
Years ago, they had a deal – after her sophomore year was over and she had all A's, she would go to their summer camp. Chloe didn't make it through the school year before her condition was apparent. She never did go to that camp. They had argued over it so much the spring prior – she had wanted to go after her freshman year, but he insisted that she was too young to go to a summer camp on the other side of the country.
His phone buzzed.
"Hello?"
"I have to make this brief," Lauren quickly said. "Chloe had an episode. It was the worst one I think she's ever had. I," she paused. She returned after a moment, her voice lowered, "I don't think she's ever going to be able to leave."
"I'll be right there."
"No," Lauren replied. "You can't. You can't come. If you come, things will only get worse."
"You're not making any sense."
"Just listen to me Steve, for Chloe's sake. She's in really bad shape and I know that she doesn't want you to see her like this. She's told me this before, if she had a bad episode, I needed to tell you this. She made me pinky promise."
Steve hung there, breathlessly.
"I'm not going to be visiting this month," he said flatly.
"No. I'll call you when she's stable enough to have visitors."
"I want to help. I need to help."
"I understand that Steve, but," again she paused for a moment, as if she was talking to someone. "If you have Chloe's best interests at heart, you need to trust me."
Steve had a hard swallow.
"I would like updates. Even if I can't see her, I need to know how she's doing."
"I," another pause, Steve heard shouts in the background, "I'll do my best. I have to go."
The line went dead and Steve stared at the contract he had been reviewing. He set it down on his desk, rearranged the papers neatly on his desk and stood up. He buzzed his assistant to make a coffee run. He waited five minutes, enough time for her to leave her office that was right outside of his.
He reached in a drawer and pulled out a picture frame. He looked at the picture, the colors already starting to fade and discolor. It was one of the oldest pictures he had of Jennifer. She couldn't have been more than eighteen, barely older than Chloe was now, when it was taken. They still looked remarkably similar, but Chloe had lost her carefree air. Jennifer never lost that, not even once Chloe arrived.
He stared into the picture. He stared at it intently and with purpose, as if willing it to come to life. It didn't, of course, since things like that only happened in books.
He wanted to break something. He wanted to feel something come apart in his hands. He wanted there to be some sort of chaos that he caused, a distraction from the chaos where he was merely a bystander, one without any control or influence over the situation. Usually looking at the picture would help calm him.
His anger only intensified.
He put it in the drawer and slammed it shut.
He called Lauren more than she called. She rarely returned his calls these days. He knew his time for legal action was over. Chloe was eighteen now. He could make a case that somehow Lauren had deceived her when she was a minor, but he needed proof for that accusation to have any weight in front of a judge. Throw in the fact that he had visited her several times while she was under Lauren's care and his entire case would wash out from under him.
It had been over six months since Lauren called him. The last he heard that Chloe was very slowly improving but that her relationship with Chloe was becoming strained. Steve tried not to take pleasure from that revelation but he didn't try very hard. If Chloe's tie to Lauren deteriorated enough, there was a chance that she would finally come back to him.
He never expected her to be gone this long. Even with her set back three years ago, she should have left the facility a long time ago. Should he have gone in there and scooped her up, taken her out of there despite her protests? He should have found another facility, one that actually had a name. There were many things that bothered him about the place, but the lack of a name, the fact that he couldn't find any psychiatrist that would recommend Badger Lake, or hell, had even heard of the place.
He had looked into the place. They had all of the proper licenses for the type of treatment center it was. He didn't know about the instructors though. After countless visits, he never met one. Even when he had been toying with the idea of moving there, he never met a single staff member. The only adult he dealt with was Lauren. He didn't meet any of the other parents or guardians that were there. He first chalked it up to privacy issues, but as he thought about it, that didn't make any sense. They were out in the middle of nowhere. Unless they only wanted to talk to their kids, they needed to talk to someone else. That wasn't even considering the money issue – if they were there, perhaps they were working for the facility. They might have worked for the treatment, room, and board. If that was the case, then everyone should know everyone and him meeting a handful of people should not have been a big deal.
Lauren always brushed him off when he brought it up. She always said that they were simply busy people.
He was tired of being brushed off. He had hired his own people to look into Badger Lake. They would find answers for him.
His phone rang and he answered it promptly, hoping for an update to their investigation.
They weren't the caller.
"Steve, I, I am so sorry," she began. His stomach plummeted as he recognized the voice.
"What is it? What happened to Chloe?"
"I don't know," Lauren gushed after a moment of silence.
"I'm coming up there, next flight I'm on it. I'll –"
"You can't. I mean, you can, but it won't do any good. She's not here."
"What the fuck, Lauren," he hissed into the receiver. "Are you saying that she ran away again?"
"Yes, yes she did," Lauren replied after taking a moment.
"That's fine," Steve replied, his tone stone cold. "I will send some people to go up there, gather her belongings and ship them back to me. I will put the reward back up. I will let my people investigate whatever you call that place you have been hiding her."
Lauren let out a guffawing laugh.
"You don't have a clue what you're dealing with," Lauren replied, her panicked tone wavering. "You can't just waltz in here like that, you can't.
"Try all you want, she isn't coming back here. Ever. There isn't any point in looking under every crook and cranny. She is gone. There is no way she is coming back. You won't find any clues where she's gone."
"I would like to be able to draw my own conclusions, Lauren. You'll understand if I don't entirely trust that you're giving me the whole story."
"I can tell you more if you stop interrupting me," Lauren spat back.
She continued, "You won't find any clues because she didn't run away alone. She ran away with someone who has had a history of running away and staying on the run for months. He's dangerous, but Chloe never listened to me. She never listened to me about him. He is dangerous, Steve. He has a whole list of issues but Chloe just would not listen to me about him."
Steve listened intently as she rambled on, his anger fading to panic as Lauren's tone became more panicked, more of a stream of consciousness than rational thought.
"I figured it was a stupid teenager thing, being rebellious, that she would grow up and realize what he was," Lauren continued on.
"She was involved with him?"
"I told her it was a bad idea. I told her from the start. Maybe that was where I went wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at first. Maybe I made him more appealing because she knew I disliked him."
"Would he hurt her?"
A moment passed, then another.
"I don't think he would let anyone take her from him."
Steve went into Chloe's room. Her old clothes hung up in her closet. Would they still fit her? Would she even want them? They were probably out of style by now. But Chloe never really cared about that – or at least, the Chloe he knew didn't.
Her clothes had arrived on their doorstep shortly after he received the postcards. Everything she had taken to the Lyle House was now in its proper place.
Even Ozzie was back. His heart hurt when he first saw the well-loved koala sitting amongst her clothes in the box. He knew that when he saw him, that her disappearing wasn't intentional. She wouldn't leave him behind. He had a faint smile, remembering how she nuzzled into the koala's head when he tucked it in by her head. Could that have been five years ago?
He looked at the koala, sitting on the shelf. Often times, the koala would end up in his room, sitting on his bedside table.
His spirit was low. She had run again. She had not told him anything again. There were some things that he would not repeat. He wouldn't sit here and wait for whatever professionals Lauren worked with sort it out. He would call his investigative team and give them the update.
He would get her back.