Disclaimer: I have an appointment with WB, to buy X Men: Evolution on the 23rd…2018. Until then, I don't own X Men: Evolution.

Author's Notes: See? I'm still alive! It's just that I've been having a little bit of trouble with one of the muses. *Kicks Piotr in the ass* Work slave! Anyhoo, the next chapter of Flammable Icing and Barbie Dolls, will be up some time this month.

Random Quote: "When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it."

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"Lets see. Charles started out with that chick I hit on and the metal boy. Then he got red eye and red head." The man giggled. "Red eye and red head! Okay, then he got my lab rat and 'catty'?" He scratched his head. "Something like that. Well, by that time, Mystique had froggy and mullet boy. Mystique then got the female version of Gambit and fat boy." He scribbled the names down and placed the tip of his pen in his mouth. "She got my son and lost the female Gambit to Charles who also got 'spike' " He sighed. So many! "The year after, Charles got a hell lot of new brats, and one of them ran off to Mystique's team. Charles also got the blue yeti. Mullet boy joined Charles' team for one episode but went back to his old team. Oh, oh, oh! Mystique got my psycho daughter as well. But, she lost the brat who joined her team. I finally got my lackeys and got Pietro back while Charles lost two kids." He burst out in evil laughter. "Oh, and I also got that Italian guy, 'Mario', but he went on vacation two months ago."

"Chirpin." Mentioned the Acolytes' mascot from its seat on its leader's desk.

"You're right." The man turned around, revealing himself to be none other than the evil villain, Magneto. A shadow passed his face. "Charles has too many kids." He said in a low voice.

"Chirp?"

"There's only one thing I can do," Magneto got up from his armchair, "I'll have to steal some of Charles' brats to try to even things out."

"Squeak!" The squirrel leapt up and ran to its leader's feet.

"I have just the plan!" Magneto frowned and looked around the room. "Where are my lackeys?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What the hell! Since when have I been going out with this Amara chick?" John blew a lock of his unruly, reddish hair, out of his face, in exasperation.

"Since I've been going out with Rogue." Pietro replied, getting the attention of a certain Cajun.

"Wait a minute!" Remy turned around in his computer chair. "Remy is goin' out wit da Rogue girl!"

Sabretooth shook his head sadly as the two started to fight. Why did I suggest that we read stories on the Internet? "Damn you fanfiction.net!"

"I'm gay?" John looked over at Sabretooth, tears welling up in his eyes. "This fan girl made me gay!"

"I t'ough' Pietro would be da gay guy in da group." Remy said, a devilish grin crossing his face.

"Ha! In this story you hooked up with an Mary Sue!" Pietro did a dance around the computer room where the Acolytes were currently hanging out, not knowing that Remy offended him, much to his teammate's disappointment. "Fans stopped hooking me up with Mary Sues long ago!"

A sigh escaped Sabretooth "Why don't I ever get a girlfriend?"

"Easy," John grinned as he flamed a story, "everyone thinks you're with Mystique."

Piotr reached over and patted Sabretooth on the back. "If it makes you feel better, I never get a girl. Everyone is still writing stories with Kitty and Lance. At least one author gave you a niece."

"Guys. Come here."

"What, John?" The group asked, a bit worried at the tone of their friend's voice, as they gathered around his computer screen.

"This new author thinks Magneto kidnaps girls."

"He doesn't?"

"Yeah, well he did kidnap that Wanda chick, but that's not all of it."

"What happens?" Sabretooth asked, impatiently.

"We do naughty things to the Mary Sue until one of us falls in love with her and frees her."

Remy burst out laughing as he read a paragraph of the story. "Piotr a rapist?"

"It's not funny!" Piotr burst out in tears.

Magneto floated in the room, shaking his head at what they were laughing about. "Attention!"

The Acolytes jumped up and saluted their leader, slapping themselves in their faces in the process. "Yes sir!"

"After many hours of plotting to take over the world, I realized that it would never happen. We have the crappiest team in the show."

"But da hottest!" Remy interrupted, as his friends nodded in agreement.

"True, very true…but that's not the point!"

"What's the point, father?"

"The point, Pietro you idiot," Magneto massaged his forehead, "is that we need a better team."

"W'at's wrong wit it now?"

Magneto glanced at each Acolyte, a look of disgust plastered on his face. John was playing with a lighter behind his back; Pietro was swaying back in forth singing show tunes with Remy, Piotr was forcing back tears and Sabretooth- Magneto mentally groaned at the sight. Sabretooth was acting out their last battle with sock puppets. "All of you are pathetic!" He yelled, sending small metallic objects zooming around the room.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones," John chanted, "but…what comes next?"

Magneto kicked him in the shins, smiling as his lackey fell to the floor and started to cry. "After hours of intense research, I discovered two students of Xavier would be extremely helpful to our mission."

"Wait a minute! Time out!" Piotr walked up to his leader and poked him in the chest. "First thing's first. Why do we need new recruits? We already got one." He said pointing to the squirrel.

"I prefer one that actually speaks the same language as us."

"Fine…" Piotr frowned. "What's our mission, anyway?"

"To take over the food market industry of course."

"W'o's da mu'an's?"

A evil smile appeared on Magneto's face. "Scott and his biotch." He chuckled as the Acolytes' jaws dropped. "You have one week. Have fun!" He yelled over his shoulder as he left the room.

"They're going to help us?" Pietro shook his head in disbelief. "Unbelievable!"

"Man, it's going to be hard to get them away from kissing Xavier's ass all day."

John giggled from his spot on the floor. "That sounds so dirty, Piotr!"

"It's true!"

"Piotr, they treat him like a father." Pietro pointed out.

"So? They can have a twisted up family."

"Piotr does have a point, Pietro." Sabretooth said, logically. "It's going to be hard to get them away from Charles."

"Well," John began, getting into the spirit of the mission, "we could always kidnap them, it's a classic!"

"You're forgetting, my friend, we want them to join the team. If we bring them here against their free will, they won't join."

Remy chuckled. "Must y' be a downer in everyt'in', Sabes?"

"Shut up, LeBeau."

"Guys!" John jumped up. "I got it!"

Piotr yawned and glanced at his watch. "Hurry up and tell us, it's almost time for my nap."

"Okay." A grin formed on John's face. "What's one place Xavier can't go without being mistaken for a janitor?"

His teammates glanced at each other and shrugged. "…Our place?"

John slapped himself in the face. "No! Bayville High!"

"Just how are we supposed to get them?" A frustrated Sabretooth asked. "We can't very well just waltz into the school and invite them to join. For one thing, they have already have seen Pietro and I. And, do you know how odd our team looks?"

"We're odd looking?"

"I know what he's talking about, John." Piotr laid a giant hand on his friend's shoulder. "What would you say if you saw a oversized kitty, a pyromaniac, a silver haired speed demon, an iron giant and a card loving Cajun walk into a high school?"

"I say it's the beginning of one of Pietro's crappy jokes."

"Hey!" Pietro smacked John on the arm. "I'm proud of my jokes."

"We're off topic, here." Sabretooth interrupted. "We have to think of a plan. Guys!" He glared at John and Pietro who were now in an all out brawl.

Piotr grabbed Pietro and held him back. "Would you cut that out?"

"He started it!'

"Did not!'

"Guys," Sabretooth began, "this isn't-" He was cut off by a cough from Remy.

"Gather around, mes amis." Remy said after he got their attention. "Remy 'ere has a plan."

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Buwahahaha! I'll stop it there, and make you guys guess what they're going to do.

*Note to Jean and Scott fans: I like Jean and Scott, I really do. Okay, actually I prefer Scott to Jean. Who can resist a guy in shades? *Drools*

Review please!