Collision
Summary: The Naruto characters meet AU versions of themselves.
A/N: Special thanks to Mika-San- The Gaara Fanatic! She came up with a few of these, namely: Lee, Gaara, Naruto, Shukaku, Kankuro, Ino, and Jiraiya. I put them in story format and added a few of my own!
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Somewhere, somehow, two universes were hurtling toward each other at startling speed. One was the fictional Naruto universe, and the other was more commonly known as, simply, the (fictional!) Universe.
The collision was only a brush, and some of the inhabitants of the Naruto universe were flung to a little planet called Earth.
The impact left them alive, thanks to Gaara's sand.
Eventually, they figured out what was going on. And they met… Drum roll please….
THEIR AU SELVES!
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The normal, regular Lee, from the fictional universe created by Kishimoto-sensei that this author DOES NOT OWN, was walking past the training grounds for a race. He sprinted over to his double, who was taking a break. "Where is your spandex?!"
The bewildered Lee looked at his "clone" in amazement. "…what?"
"You know, it helps you train!"
"Really?"
"YEAH!"
"OKAY!"
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The regular (Kishimoto-sensei's) and AU Gaaras stared each other down.
"Okay, so, let me get this straight," The regular Gaara stated monotonously. "You're an emo-slash-goth with no sand power or demon?"
"Pretty much..."
"…YOU SUCK! NOW DIE!!!"
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AU Sakura ran into herself at the mall. "Stupid mirror."
Ten minutes later, she ran into herself again. "Stupid m-AHHHH!"
"What?"
"What are you wearing?!?"
"It's good for training."
"YOU WEAR THE SAME THING EVERY DAY?!?!" AU Sakura sounded horrified.
"Yeah, so? Most shinobi do."
AU Sakura passed out.
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Regular Ino had a similar encounter with her AU self.
"You have no fashion sense," The kunoichi criticized.
"Well, at least I don't wear bed sheets that constrict me! And I'm not fat, either."
"WHAT?!? MIND CONTROL TECHNIQUE!"
The AU Ino, being controlled by the regular, ran around, jumping in people's faces. "Oh, look at me! I suck because I wear a stupid little school girl outfit, which I own in seven different colors! OH EM GEE!!"
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Anyway, let's get back to AU Gaara and the regular.
"WAIT! WAIT! DON'T KILL ME!! I HAVE A GUN!!!"
Ninja Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow. "…a what?"
"This!" He held up a pistol.
The regular Gaara stared, eyes gleaming. "Oooooooo, SHINY!"
"Yup! I've killed people! And I've attempted suicide," the AU Gaara added proudly. His double stared in amazement. "And I'm gay, too!" Pride was an unusual expression on any Gaara, but the AU boy wore it with, uh, pride.
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Naruto the ninja met Naruto the not-ninja. "Dattebayo!"
"I'm hated because I'm annoying…BUT THAT DOESN'T GET IN MY WAY!"
"I'm hated because I have a demon."
The other Naruto stared in astonishment.
Ninja Naruto grinned. "…AND I PWN ASS!"
"I'm awesome-ER! I date a rich girl named Hinata.
"…MY HINATA HAS THE BYAKUGAN!!"
"What?"
"SHE PWNS YOUR HINATA'S ASS!!!" He smirked evilly.
"Anyways… Ramen?"
"YOU KNOW IT!!"
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AU Neji approached the shinobi Neji.
"Hello," the ninja greeted him without turning his head.
"WHAT THE…do you have eyes in the back of your head?!?"
The other boy smirked at his replica's stupidity. "Duh. Shouldn't you?"
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"…you play with dolls?" The AU Kankuro asked in mock amazement.
"THEY'RE NOT DOLLS! THEY'RE FREAKIN' PUPPETS!!!"
"Dolls, puppets...what's the difference?"
"THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! Puppets are lethal killing machines, and dolls are for girls."
"…I play with dolls…" AU Kankuro looked like he was about to cry.
"N00B!"
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Somehow, the regular Shukaku demon and AU Shukaku voice met as well.
There was a long pause.
"What are your hobbies?" The voice spoke.
"Influencing my container to murder people and killing nations at a time," the demon replied smugly.
"I do influencing, too!!"
"Awesome."
"So, shall we go on a killing rage?"
"I'LL GET MY CONTAINER!"
"I wish I could have a physical form, too," the voice in the schizophrenic AU Gaara's head said sadly.
"No matter! You can corrupt and influence!"
"Sweet!"
Well, I'm glad they hit it off.
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"What's THAT little thing for?" Kunoichi Temari looked at the small fan in disgust.
"It's my FAN. Don't they have those where you come from?"
The regular Temari pulled out the big fan. AU Temari's eyes grew wide.
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AU Jiraiya stared at the Sannin. "Do they have perverted books where you come from?"
"Duh, I WRITE THEM! Icha Icha Paradise, at your service!"
"AMAZING! I'll buy every single one!"
"Shall we go peeping?"
"YOU KNOW IT, MAN! Hmmm…." There was a pause. "Can I be your beta?"
"SURE! That'll make my third!"
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"…where did the bugs come from?" AU Shino stared in fascination.
"They're inside my body. I'm the host."
AU Shino blanched.
"I thought you liked bugs?"
The boy just stared.
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"Who are you?" The teacher Kakashi asked the sensei.
"I'm…" He snapped his book shut. "…you. FROM THE FUTURE!" Clouds rolled overhead, within the empty classroom. The shinobi revealed the Sharingan.
"S-surely you wouldn't k-kill yourself?" He snapped his book shut.
"You are a menace, Kakashi!" He boomed. "TIME TO DIE!!!"
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Sasuke glared at Sasuke. And you know what? Sasuke glared right back.
"What is your purpose in life?"
"I don't have one."
"Then why are you emo?!?"
"Life sucks."
"…you're useless."
"Well, what's YOUR purpose?"
"I live to kill a certain some-"
"Aaah! I'm homicidal!"
A light bulb went off over the shinobi's head. AU Itachi was weak, helpless, and not a ninja. So, if he killed THAT Itachi, it counted, right?
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A/N: We had fun writing those. Review!