Tennessee Sunset by asesina
Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.
a/n: set after the end of "LOST". Jack & Saywer friendship. Sawyer's POV.
Update- I realized that I should've put "Claire" instead of "Sun". Thanks for the heads' up!
I hope you like it!
-0-
Once in a while, James Ford looks out at the Tennessee River and remembers. He sometimes wonders if it all really happened, but in his heart, he knows it was real.
Everything was real.
They left the island three months ago to the day (he thinks), but life on the mainland is so damn fast that he can't even tell the difference.
He visited Kate and Claire once after the island and they swore that they'd do it again soon.
Soon, he scoffs.
What is soon, exactly? He's lived out his life in several different timelines and he still can't tell the difference.
Soon.
He thinks about the island again, and, oddly, his thoughts shift to the doctor.
Ford realizes that Jack probably died on that rock, but he can't fight the wave of regret that passes over him.
He knows that Jack never would've left the island with them. The doc was always too damn stubborn, an overgrown Boy Scout, but something about the whole situation makes Ford tear up again.
He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and looks outside his hotel window.
He's in Knoxville for the time being, and he likes the way the hazy thunderclouds hang low over the Tennessee Valley in July. It reminds him of the old days, before the smoke monster and the polar bears, and it makes him smile.
A long time ago… before.
It's all related to time, of course.
Ford ignores it again and wonders what the hell he's going to do with himself.
He thinks about everything. In fact, he thinks too much for his own good.
He should be reading instead, damn it.
Ford looks at the orange streaks on the horizon and frowns. The day is muggy and slow; even the sunset is taking its sweet old time.
He doesn't want to dwell on the past, but he can give the doc another minute of his time.
Ford isn't sure what he should say. He steps out onto the balcony and breathes a long, slow sigh.
The sky is changing again, and it's turning all purple and pink between the clouds.
Ok, where to start?
Ford thinks about the fist fights and card games. He remembers hating Jack, and then respecting him and even liking him a little bit.
All of their alpha male posturing and battles over the island and Kate seem like high school shit compared to the end.
The end- that was it.
Ford remembers the earthquake and the blood on Jack's palms. He can see the doc's face as clear as day, and then it hits him.
They don't have any do-overs. They don't have any second chances.
He was spared, but Jack is gone, lost somewhere under the swaying palms and the low-hanging canopy of bamboo leaves.
Ford wonders if he should've said something else, something that mattered.
"Doc, you out there?" he says softly.
The summer air is as thick as molasses, but a stubborn wind pushes through the night and tugs at his hair.
Ford feels a stray tear leak slide down his face, but it evaporates in the Tennessee haze.
"I know I said it before, but I hope you know-," he starts, but the words aren't coming.
"I hope you know."
The breeze stirs again, and Ford knows that everything will be all right.
"Thanks, doc."