This story takes place about ten years after Harry graduates (still alive) from Hogwarts. Harry is now considered the single best wizard in the world. However, he has developed a major ego problem. Voldemort (who is also still alive and retains a human form) also has a large ego problem, as you shall soon find out. However, since Voldemort regained human form, his spells have been less powerful and Voldemort is having trouble…
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN IT! I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Voldemort (sob). I do not own anything else even remotely related to the wizarding world. The synonyms of "Voldemort" were created by my friend NameWeAreTooCowardlyToSay. Go to her page if you want to know what her website where she lists all the synonyms of words from HP is. I can't remember it. By the way, the idea of a thesaurus and the way they speak in synonyms came in part from Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series. I don't own that either. I also don't own Webster's Unabridged Thesaurus. I don't even know if it exists!
REVIEW PEOPLE! This is my first actual fanfic that I've written without the aid of another brilliant fanfic author. (NameWeAreTooCowardlyToSay, don't get a swelled head, please.) This means that you are to REVIEW.
And now, without further ado, THE STORY…
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Harry Potter stood in front of a six-foot-tall, four-foot-wide mirror in his preposterously large house, admiring his reflection. Except for that Voldemort issue back at Hogwarts and occasional arguments with Dumbledore—the headmaster of Hogwarts was being too bold, saying that he should be more humble and even spend more of his time getting rid of Voldemort!—he had a very peaceful life since the same wizard who had made his Hogwarts years absolute agony murdered his parents. (Oh well; Harry was sure that they deserved it.) However, that was about to change. Because just then came a knock at the door.
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The infamous Voldemort had not had very good luck lately. Since finally reclaiming human form, the evil wizard's magic had slowly been getting worse and worse until, finally, the impossible happened. While attempting to practice a simple Summoning Charm on a thesaurus (his vocabulary had been worsening as well), what had Voldemort done? He had indeed summoned it. Yes, he had. That was the good news. However, he had also managed to get stuck inside the thesaurus. Oh, the shock… Things got worse. He had attempted to get rid of the thesaurus and accidentally turned himself into the thesaurus! Poor, poor little Voldie was in tears for nearly a week. Not even his favorite snack foods could console him! And that was why Voldemort now found himself waiting at the door of the greatest wizard in the world in the hopes that he would be able to help him, save him, assist him, rescue him from his current predicament. He would, certainly. Because no one would refuse to help the great Dark Lord!
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Grumbling about the people who sold things door-to-door and using some rude words, as well as muttering even more vehemently and using even ruder words about the insolence of someone daring to disturb the great Harry Potter, Harry went to the door and opened it. However, no one was there. He looked about in annoyance for several seconds and started to close the door. "Here," squeaked an impossibly high-pitched voice from somewhere below Harry's sightline. Harry looked and exclaimed, "What the hell is that?"
"That" seemed to be a book on legs. It also had little arms and hands. And…was that a face? Bold words across the thing's body proclaimed, "Webster's Unabridged Thesaurus." Harry wasn't sure exactly what a thesaurus was, not having much occasion to use one. He never wrote anything; the house elves did that. In fact, he hadn't so much as written a single word except for his name in over a year. (At this point, in a faraway country, a fanfiction writer named Asvoria Granger the Thirteenth pondered if he even knew how to write anymore. He wasn't so great at it to start with.)
The…thing…sighed and said clearly, "Voldemort, You Know Who, the Dark Lord, the Great Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, Voldiebutt, Name We Are Too Cowardly To Say Because We Are All Cowardly Farts, Et Cetera."
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First chapter complete! As with my other story, (well, sort mine) the first chapter's really dull and short. It's just sort of an introduction more than anything. So don't kill the poor writer! runs from evil readers throwing stones Stay tuned; I promise that the next chapter will be more exciting!
Wait. I almost forgot….
REVIEW!
(And I didn't mean it about the evil readers!)