A/N This is a one shot that I'm updating today because it's October 8th, aka Emily Procter's birthday, and because I like birthday's I'm going to celebrate it just because I can. So Happy 42nd Birthday Emily Procter.

The wind whipped her hair around her face, the cool breeze always used to calm her nerves, made her feel a sense of relaxation, but not today. Why she was here she had no idea, she had no idea where to be, what to do, what to feel, she was lost. The deserted stretch of beach was doing nothing to calm her nerves, she knew the one thing that would, but that was the one thing she couldn't face. She was scared, possibly for the first time in her life, Calleigh Duquesne was scared. She dropped down to her knees and one solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

She stared out to sea, they say that you can just about see Cuba on the horizon on a clear day. But she couldn't, it was a beautifully clear day, but just like everything else in her life at the moment, she couldn't find what she was looking for.

Today was a day of memories, she was supposed to be with her friends, drinking beer with Alexx, Eric and Horatio in his memory, but the memories made the pain harder, the fact she knew exactly what he'd say to her. She could almost hear him there talking to her now, was she going insane? She knew he'd tell her she was being ridiculous, to have more confidence in herself because even Delko wasn't stupid enough to turn her down. But she didn't have the confidence or the courage, and without Speed's guidance she just couldn't.

"Help me Tim. I'm lost." She murmured to the ground as if it were going to give her answers.

Why does it have to be so hard? She asked herself. Another tear rolled down her cheek at the memory of her beloved friend, and at the pain of what she couldn't have. She knew she could go into that bar now, laugh and joke with her friends, but at the end of the day she's still be going home alone, and that's all she felt, alone. She'd never get married, never have anyone to go home to, never have children, never have grandchildren. She's always live in her modern apartment for one, until she was too old to get up the stairs.

She drew patterns in the sand, made herself a little lump, but the wind blew the top off. She felt so helpless. This was not her, she was strong, independent, she could do whatever she wanted if she put her mind to it, but today she felt as though she could do nothing.

"Alone" she traced into the sand.

It was the only thing she could think to say, the only thing that seemed to sum her up. She closed her eyes, tried not to let the tears fall. She listened to the waves crashing at the bottom of the beach, tried to picture a better scene in her mind, but none came. She bowed her head in defeat, just closed her eyes and listened to the bustle of the Miami city in the background. A few tears escaped, she felt them run off her eyelashes, down her cheeks, into the sand.

She looked up again, blinking back the sea of tears that were trying to burst through the dam. The note she'd traced into the sand had almost blown away, but there was a distinct mark above it.

"Not alone." It now read.

She spun around to see Eric sat beside her, how long he'd been there she didn't know, she hadn't heard him, hadn't felt him. He pulled her into his lap, she was scared. She couldn't allow this, it would be too much of a loss when it was gone. But she was so lost, maybe she could just allow herself a little comfort. Maybe tomorrow when Tim's memory wasn't so potent it wouldn't hurt as much and she'd be ok.

She leaned into him, he was warm, soft, exactly the comfort she needed. His smell, his heart beat, his rhythmic breathing, it was the relaxation she's so much wanted. His arms around her, his head atop of hers, it gave her the clarity she'd been searching for. It opened her up a way nothing ever had before, it was scary, but not as scary as she'd thought, or as scary as being alone. The dam finally over flowed and tears rolled over the top. Tears cascaded down her cheek and he only held her tighter.

Eventually the tears started to dry, her tear stained face refused to look up at him. He tilted her chin up and looked right at her. The pad of his thumb wiped away the last few stray tears.

She was beautiful to him, every part of her seemed to stand out a mile. Her hair was golden, silky, he spent his days wishing he could run his hand through it. Her eyes were emerald green, they shone like he'd never seen before. Her lips were red like coral, they mesmerised him when she spoke, he ached to kiss them, but lacked the courage to ever do so. Her skin was pale, but sun kissed, it was unique and creamy, it looked soft, and every accidental touch of it sent flames through his body. She was petite, the way he could lean his head atop of hers was adorable. The way she carried herself with so much elegance, she was dainty like a flower, but was so strong, like she was made of steel. She was complex, it had taken him years to be able to read her, to see the problem behind the 'I'm fine' smile. Everything about her made him go crazy, every smile, every word, every breath made him fall even more in love with her.

It had taken him a death of a best friend, a rotten boyfriend that treated her with not even the slightest respect she deserved, and a bullet to the head to realise that she could be gone from his grasp in the click of a fingers. Today as Tim's memory was pushed from the safe he carefully kept it locked in, he realised he couldn't let this go, he couldn't let her go.

Her face still cupped in his hand, he could see the fear in her eyes. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, never looking away from her. Her lip trembled, her heart was aching, she knew that if he left now she'd be burned.

"You'll never be alone." He whispered

He closed the tiny gap between them, he had to show her how much she meant to him, that he'd never let her go. She'd never felt anything like it before, the gentle, soft feel of his lips on hers. she wasn't lost anymore, the courage she'd needed for so long been granted, she could feel. He pulled away and she immediately felt the loss of his lips on hers. Her mouth formed the tiniest pout.

"I love you." He whispered

A tear rolled down her cheek, it felt like she'd waited her entire life for this moment. He kissed away the single tear, and she smiled, the first genuine smile, she'd smiled in weeks.

"I love you too." She breathed

Those three words made his heart stop beating. How many times had Speed told him to do this, told him she was in love with him too. 'Happy Birthday Tim.' He thought as he kissed her again. The moment was perfect, the beach, the sun setting behind them. It was clichéd but it was perfect, it truly was the happiest moment of their lives.

From the heavens Speed looked down on them.

"It's about damn time." He chuckled.

A/N This is from re-watching the first couple of seasons and missing Speed, he was grumpy and made me laugh. Anyway, I hope that if you read it you like it.
RIP Tim Speedle
Happy Birthday Emily Procter
Thank you for reading
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