The Secret We Share
A Youko x Sei oneshot. New cycles of seasons, partings, and meetings come and go. Secrets are shared between the fresh graduates – secrets of their tension at Lillian's, Youko's pain of seeing Sei's tears, and Sei's struggle to thank Youko for her love.
Thoughts of Crimson
Mizuno Youko brushed back the pale bangs of the woman lying beside her. Satou Sei had come home so tired that she fell asleep on Youko's bed without changing out of her signature, crisp white shirt and stylish slim jeans. She lay there, hugging Youko's pillow inconsiderately, snoring boyishly as Youko watched over her. Sei's hair – it was once long, flowing like a waterfall of light, but that changed when she lost Shiori. Youko still blamed herself that Sei cut her hair. In other words, she still blamed herself that Sei had lost her first love.
But they were adults now, students at different universities with degrees to study for. Soon, they would be looking for full-time careers. They would have to choose a vocation – one thing that all productive people yearned to realize. They were truly women now, with loved ones to take care of, to be responsible for.
Youko put a hand to her left breast, eyes shining. She enjoyed white shirts too, but she liked to look more professional, hence the black skirt and dark, sexy stockings. They would always be like that to each other: Sei the carefree but observant mentor, Youko the bossy and meddling aunt. Perhaps they reflected contrasting ways of leadership, like Youko's neatly done hairstyle and Sei's free and messy equivalent. By fussing over others, Youko had learned the ways of maturity. And perhaps it was because of Youko's tough love that Sei mustered the maturity to let go of Shiori.
The former Red Rose had always felt responsible for Sei. The care wasn't mutual – that was the cold hard truth. The former White Rose only learned to soar after taking Shimako as her own. Yumi and even Shizuka had earned the affections of Rosa Gigantea in one way or another. Yet what did Youko receive? She got Sei's anger after she questioned her attachment to Shiori. She got Sei's thin, outraged lips after she invited Shimako to the Rose Mansion for the first time, and she got Sei's broken face after forcing her to face the truth of her loneliness.
Sometimes, Youko felt neglected, almost underappreciated. But it was difficult to be angry at Sei for long. Frustrated, vexed, and worried perhaps, but not angry. Was it possible to ever be angry for long at that face?
"I just wanted you to be happy," whispered Youko, her finger sifting through those lovely tresses. "I just wanted you to blossom with me. Could we help it if we pricked each other with our thorns?"
She blinked in surprise at the unexpected answer. "It wouldn't matter." Sei had awoken, and her long arms reached up to pull Youko into a tight embrace.
Reflections of Pearl
"I was listening," said Sei, running her lips along Youko's exposed skin. She had pulled her down onto the warm, comfortable bed. "I was listening, like I always do."
"No, you never listen." Youko shut her eyes tightly to hide the emotion and pleasure coursing through her, but her flushed lips and burning cheeks gave away everything. She let herself be swept away in the other's arms. Surrendering to Sei felt good. Many others would agree.
"Am I hurting you with this casual relationship?" mumbled Sei. Her arms locked around Youko's slender shoulders. They lay wrapped in each other, and Sei's hands worked at Youko's buttons, undoing them one by one. She made quick work of her own clothes, ensuring nothing hid their soft skin from each other. "This is the most honest way I know. I've never been one to give too much thought to love and sex. Or you'll just become paralysed and never do anything."
Youko closed her eyes after staring at the naked Sei for a few seconds. She thought carefully, trying to determine what the heaviest feelings in her heart were. "Sometimes. Sometimes you hurt me. But it doesn't bother me. We're supposed to be mature adults now."
"That's why Shimako and Sachiko will never see what we're doing here. But you'd be up for Yumi-chan joining in, wouldn't you?"
"There you go again with your experimental obsessions," moaned Youko, savouring the warmth of Sei's body as she felt herself nestled in her arms. "You fool."
"You're someone that Shiori, Shimako, and Yumi can't be." Sei smiled, nuzzling her peer and lover. "You were with Eriko and I, the three of us, Roses of one generation. That in itself is special – a journey that I can't replicate with Shimako or Yumi."
Her lips began to nibble Youko's ear, and the other gave a soft mewl. How outraged would Sachiko be if she saw her like this, thought Youko, reduced to a begging slave in Sei's sensuous cuddle? "I suppose it's asking too much to hear you say 'I love you'," she panted, breathing hotly on Sei's nose.
"Sort of," whispered Sei, staring at the burning face of the usually cool and collected woman. "But I can tell you that I owe you many more thanks than I've given. You never abandoned me, and I took it for granted precisely because you were always there. In a sense, you spoiled me." She guided Youko's lithe leg to clench around her waist. "Even with Shimako. All I could think about was my pain. I was so self-absorbed that I almost slapped you, and I even blamed you when I couldn't bring myself to. And you still didn't leave me. I was starting to wonder if you're a masochist."
Youko couldn't speak. She was speechless with ecstasy. Her nails had dug into the back of Sei, who simply continued to whisper her confession as she went about making the fussy girl come.
"You told me you regretted that you didn't push me harder to make Shiori my petite souer. In the end, it wouldn't have mattered. Be it Shimako or Shiori, I would have grown and loved either way. But without you, I wouldn't even have known what I was capable of." She kissed Youko harder, her passion flaring. "I tried to thank you a long time ago," she gasped in between gulps for air, "but you didn't hear me, so I was a little annoyed. I pretended I didn't say anything. But I'll say it clearly this time, while you can't get away.
"Thank you."
Vermillion and Ivory, Chinensis and Gigantea
Parting. Meeting. Parting. Meeting. And so the cycle would continue, like the seasons. Roses could never bloom without winter. There was no colour without its absence. Maturity was not simply accepting impermanence, but embracing it. Youko and Sei had achieved that kind of maturity together. Shiori, Sachiko, Yumi, and Shimako. The memory of their loves surged through their trembling, writhing bodies even as they continued to make love on Youko's bed. Sei could see it clearly in her mind's eye: a spirited, independent girl who would become Shimako's petite souer. There was nothing to worry about, and that was the same for Youko. Sachiko would be fine with Yumi.
And Sei would be fine as long as Youko was here to boss her around.
That was, after all, the secret they shared.
THE END