She was all alone in a dark and wide room, with no lights lit. Only the light of the moon was enough for her, it was the only thing that would accompany her in the silent, lonely night. She lay on her side on the white sheets of her bed, her hand under the white fabric of her pillow, fingers holding tightly onto a kunai that almost never left her side. The moon reflected the stains of tears on her cheeks as she slept, her consciousness surrendered to the devil of sleep.

The next morning she woke up as she did usually, her tears stained face as tense as it had been since two years ago. She cleaned herself up, looking at her own face that she couldn't recognize anymore in the mirror. She looked pale, with light bags under her eyes, her lips as dry as her skin was. She sighed at herself, trying to force a smile out in front of the mirror in her bathroom. Her lips trembled as they curved up into a half shaped moon, but it quickly turned back into a sly expression. She tried once again, and then again and again until the trembling left her lips, yet the empty emotion in her eyes never fading.

She walked back to her bedroom and took out a sleeveless shirt and shorts from her closet, her empty smile masking all her inner feelings. As she got dressed, she finished by pulling out a pair of two meters long bandage and slowly wrapped them around her forearms, her eyes never leaving the scars on her wrists…

A knock came on her door, and she immediately knew who was waiting for her at her doorstep. She quickly picked up the sword and her weapon pouch that she placed carefully on her desk the day before and rushed outside. Oblivious to it, the picture frame that stood beside the sword was swiped off from the desk to her bed, the sunlight shining onto the picture of her, a wolf and a torn off face.

"Kiba! Hinata-chan! Shino! Good morning!" the smile on her face slowly and forcefully got bigger as she met up with her ex-teammates. Kiba returned her with a big smile on his face, along with Akamaru welcoming her with his famous barks, Hinata smiled up at her, the shy expression on her face never leaving her, and Shino remained unchanged, his expression the same for every time he saw her. "So what's up today? What's the big deal? I heard that there's a meeting for the shinobis and kunoichis that are ranked Chuunin and higher." She asked, the four of them already heading towards the Hokage's office.

As they all entered the office by groups of four, they all came out with the same group, a few remaining inside with the Hokage. And when Shumi came out with the rest of her teammates, her expression was totally changed. There was no more smile on her face whatsoever, all we could see was unhappiness. The smile she worked so hard on the morning was wiped off from her face like it was nothing.

"Shumi-chan… are you okay?" Hinata asked her close friend, who barely nodded at her question.

Everyone already knew what was wrong with her, it was too obvious to be hidden.

Shumi had been Uchiha Sasuke's childhood friend since she was a child and she had a huge crush on him, which kept developing even after the Uchiha massacre. They had been the closest of friends, which turned into enemies after he had left to fill his lust for powers. Yet she always held hope for him, that he'd return to Konoha, and that he has never changed from the beginning and that he was faking everything…

But all this hope broke apart when he returned to Konoha two years ago, with the mission of killing her in his mind. If it wasn't for Yubimaru, a wolf dog that Kiba had offered her for her 7th birthday, she would have been dead by now. And since that day, she never got rid of the pain she felt inside her.

Everyone knew what had happened between them, and everyone was worried about her, but the show she put up was great and amazing, no one suspected her of being sad or depressed. They all thought she had gotten over the traitor. Yet everything went to waste when Tsunade, the current Hokage, decided to send them on a mission to spy on Orochimaru and Sasuke.

During the night of the same day, once again, Shumi used the same kunai to slit open her wrist, relieving herself from her own psychological pain, yet branding herself with another scar on her pale skin. She didn't stop the blood from flowing out, she only kneed beside her bathtub, her shower shooting freezing cold water on her head.

"I hate you… I really hate you…" she cried. "Why did you turn me into this…" she never released her grip on the kunai. "Why can't I just do it…?" her hand were shaking as she moved it towards her throat, the water tapping on the metal material that reached the skin of her throat.

A drop of blood fell as soon as the bladed weapon fell into the bathtub, followed by sobs of pain…

Two days later

The four of them were already at a village close to Orochimaru's lair, hoping to spot him soon. But the most they found were some unimportant subordinates of his that didn't even needed any attention. Yet, lucky them, they had found some traces about Sasuke. And they all went after him except for Shumi, who was ordered to stay in the hotel they stayed at, seeing that she couldn't face him at any moment yet.

However, she ended up being the one meeting him face to face first. She was on her bed when he showed up at her door, knocking on the piece of wood. She innocently went to open the door, hoping to see her teammates, but sadly, she met the worst instead.

Shumi couldn't find her words when she saw him, but she knew that she couldn't recognize him anymore, all he showed was an expression of hatred in his eyes.

"You shouldn't be here. Leave before I decide to kill you." She trembled at his heartless words…

But she didn't move an inch.

"Then why don't you just end this misery you put in me…" the boy frowned even more, his hand reaching for the blade tied to his lower back. "You won't need this…"

She reacted quicker than he thought she ever could. He was looking at her pointing a familiar kunai at her own neck, a sad smile on her lips.

"I finally know why I couldn't kill myself before today…" she started, clenching onto the kunai even harder than she already did. "I was waiting for this day to come…" she felt the cold metal against her neck, yet no pain was felt from it.

The boy only looked at her, with his eyes wide, but his hand never leaving the handle of his kusanagi.

"I wanted to kill myself in front of you, with this kunai that you've given me…" she looked up into his eyes, trying to read his expression. "Thank you." She said as she was about to slit open her own throat.

"Stop it!"

It wasn't what she expected. From the corner of her eyes, she saw her teammates running towards her and freeze her movements with a single move of Hinata's. Kiba and Shino were standing protectively in front of her, facing Sasuke, who wasn't looking at them anymore.

"Too bad… I wouldn't have had to dirty my kusanagi…" were the last words he said before he disappeared.

The trio didn't run after him, but made sure that Shumi was safe first. They were quick in securing her and confiscating her kunai from her, but she hadn't talked since the traitor left. Worried about her, they decided to take turns to look after her until she assured them she was completely fine.

But later during the night, when everyone fell asleep, Shumi couldn't control her heartache anymore. She took out her own kunai that she hid from her friends… but she never thought that the smell of blood would wake up Akamaru and Kiba…

"Shumi, are you there?" she recognized the voice as Kiba's. She quickly put away her kunai and bandaged her wrist, unconscious about the fact that blood was seeping through the white fabric.

She rushed towards her door and opened it with her uninjured hand, quickly trying to put up a smile for her friend that stood in front of her.

"Hey Kiba, what brings you here so late?" he was frowning at his friend, looking at her up and down, and noticing that she had her left hand hidden behind her back.

"Are you hiding something behind you?" Shumi blinked, her smile immediately gone within a short second. She only turned her head negatively, but Kiba only pulled her arm out by force, revealing a loosely tied bloody bandage. "What's this?!" he asked her, frowning. She only gave him the answer she gave him a minute ago, her lips not yet parting to say a word. As he was about to strip the bandages from her, her strong grip came into action. She held on to Kiba's hand strongly, hoping for him not to remove it from her hand and reveal her cuts.

But he didn't listen and only took her hand off his.

Kiba tore off the bloodied bandage to look at Shumi's wrists, his grip firm on her hand as she tried to pry him off. He only needed one look at it to know what had she been doing to herself these whole two years since Sasuke left. She had dozen of cuts scars on her wrist, or even more. It hurt him to see all these scars on her wrist, it was too cruel to see. He had never thought that his friend would go so far for someone that had wanted to kill her in the past.

The young kunoichi could feel his grip on her hand getting tighter and tighter, the blood almost not making her way to the tip of her fingers.

"Why are you doing this to yourself…?" his reaction wasn't like what she expected it to be. She looked up at him, sadness filling her insides as all her sad, depressing memories replayed in her brain one by one.

She quickly yanked off his arm from her, keeping her wrists close to her chest…

"It hurts too much… it hurts too much deep inside me… this…" she hesitated on her words, the pain she felt rising in her throat. "It helps me to forget about that pain…" the blood was seeping through her fingers, the tears were flowing out of her red eyes, yet she didn't let her real emotions spill.

"Shumi… I-" as Kiba wanted to speak with his deepest feelings, Shumi knew that she shouldn't be doing what she did anymore. She knew that she had great friends around her but she never wanted to count on them for everything.

"Please just leave me alone for now…" she turned around and closed the door on him, her footsteps becoming invisible to his ears.

In fact, she hadn't taken even a step further from the door. She just slid down and sat there, on the cold floor, with the lights closed, and her heart beating three times as quick as it normally would. She hugged herself in a small ball, feeling her own tears take over…